1. Ngakhale kuti pa tsiku la ukwati anthu amaoneka osangalala kwambiri, kodi ayenera kuyembekezera chiyani? (Onani chithunzi pamwambapa.)

PA TSIKU la ukwati, aliyense amaoneratu kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi akusangalala kwambiri. Pa nthawi imene anali pa chibwenzi anayamba kukondana kwambiri moti pa tsikuli amalumbira kuti adzakondana mpaka kalekale. Komano banja likayambika, aliyense amafunika kusintha zina ndi zina kuti azichita zinthu mogwirizana. Yehova ndi amene anayambitsa ukwati ndipo amafuna kuti mabanja azisangalala. Choncho iye wapereka malangizo m’Baibulo omwe angatithandize pa nkhaniyi. (Miy. 18:22) Koma Baibulo lomwelo limanenanso mosabisa kuti popeza ndife ochimwa, tikalowa m’banja timakhala ndi “nsautso m’thupi.” (1 Akor. 7:28) Kodi tingatani kuti tichepetse mavuto amenewa? Nanga Akhristu ayenera kuchita chiyani kuti banja lawo liziyenda bwino?

2. Kodi anthu okwatirana ayenera kusonyezana chikondi cha mitundu iti?

² Baibulo limasonyeza kuti chikondi n’chofunika kwambiri.  M’Chigiriki muli mawu 4 ofotokoza mitundu yosiyanasiyana ya chikondi chomwe chimafunika m’banja. Mtundu woyamba (phi·liʹa) umanena za chikondi chimene munthu amasonyeza mnzake. Wachiwiri (eʹros) umanena za chikondi chapakati pa mwamuna ndi mkazi. Wachitatu (stor·geʹ) umanena za chikondi cha anthu apachibale ndipo chikondi chimenechi chimathandiza m’banja mukakhala ana. Ndipo womaliza (a·gaʹpe) umanena za chikondi chimene munthu amasonyeza chifukwa chotsatira mfundo za makhalidwe abwino. Chikondi chimenechi chimathandizanso kwambiri kuti banja liziyenda bwino. Ponena za chikondichi, Paulo analemba kuti: “Aliyense wa inu akonde mkazi wake ngati mmene amadzikondera yekha, komanso mkazi azilemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wake.”—Aef. 5:33.

3. Kodi chikondi cha anthu okwatirana chiyenera kukhala chotani?

³ Paulo analemba kuti: “Amuna inu, pitirizani kukonda akazi anu monga mmene Khristu anakondera mpingo n’kudzipereka yekha chifukwa cha mpingowo.” (Aef. 5:25) Akhristu ayenera kukonda anzawo ngati mmene Yesu amachitira. (Werengani Yohane 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Izi zikutanthauza kuti Akhristu okwatirana ayenera kukondana kwambiri moti aliyense azikhala wokonzeka kufera mnzake ngati pakufunika kutero. Koma nthawi zina akayambana, amaiwala mfundo imeneyi. Komabe chikondi cha a·gaʹpe chingawathandize ‘kukwirira zinthu zonse, kukhulupirira zinthu zonse, kuyembekezera zinthu zonse ndiponso kupirira zinthu zonse.’ Chikondi chimenechi “sichitha.” (1 Akor. 13:7, 8) Anthu okwatirana amene amaopa Mulungu amakumbukira kuti analonjeza zoti azikondana komanso adzakhala okhulupirika. Choncho amayesetsa kutsatira mfundo za Yehova pothetsa vuto lililonse limene angakumane nalo.

4, 5. (a) Popeza mwamuna ndi mutu wa banja, kodi ayenera kuchita bwanji zinthu ndi mkazi wake? (b) Kodi mkazi azichita chiyani m’banja? (c) Kodi banja lina linafunika kusintha zinthu ziti kuti ukwati wawo uziyenda bwino?

⁴ Paulo analembanso za udindo wa mwamuna komanso wa mkazi. Iye anati: “Akazi agonjere amuna awo ngati mmene amagonjerera Ambuye, chifukwa mwamuna ndiye mutu wa mkazi wake monganso mmene Khristu alili mutu wa mpingo.” (Aef. 5:22, 23) Mawu amenewa sakusonyeza kuti mkazi ndi wotsika poyerekezera ndi mwamuna. Koma amangothandiza kuti mkaziyo azikwaniritsa udindo umene Mulungu anamupatsa. Paja Yehova anati: “Si bwino kuti munthu akhale yekha. Ndimupangira womuthandiza, monga mnzake womuyenerera.” (Gen. 2:18) Khristu yemwe ndi “mutu wa mpingo” amakonda kwambiri mpingowo. Amuna achikhristu nawonso ayenera kukonda mabanja awo. Akamachita zimenezi, akazi awo amadzimva kuti ndi otetezeka ndipo zimakhala zosavuta kuti azilemekeza, kuthandiza komanso kugonjera amuna awowo.

⁵ Povomereza mfundo yoti anthu akakwatirana amafunika kusintha zina ndi zina, mlongo wina dzina lake Cathy, ^[1] anati: “Ndisanakwatiwe, ndinkachita zinthu pandekha. Koma nditakwatiwa ndinafunika kusintha n’kuyamba kudalira mwamuna wanga. Zimenezi sizinali zophweka, koma ndinkayesetsabe chifukwa ndi zimene Yehova amafuna ndipo zatithandiza kuti tizigwirizana kwambiri.” Mwamuna wake dzina lake Fred anati: “Kuyambira kale, ndinkavutika kuti ndisankhe zochita. Ndiye nditakwatira, kusankha zinthu zokomera tonse kunali vuto lalikulu. Koma ndimapempha Yehova kuti azinditsogolera komanso ndimamvetsera maganizo a mkazi wanga. Izi zandithandiza kwambiri moti panopa timagwirizana kwabasi ndipo timachitira zinthu limodzi.”

6. Kodi chikondi chimathandiza bwanji m’banja mukakhala mavuto?

⁶ Banja limalimba ngati anthu okwatirana  amakumbukira kuti aliyense ndi wochimwa komanso ‘amalolerana ndi kukhululukirana ndi mtima wonse.’ Aliyense m’banja angalakwitse zinazake. Koma zoterezi zikachitika, ndi bwino kuphunzirapo kanthu, kukhululukirana komanso kusonyezana chikondi. Paja chikondi “chimagwirizanitsa anthu mwamphamvu kwambiri kuposa chinthu china chilichonse.” (Akol. 3:13, 14) Komanso ‘chikondi n’choleza mtima, chokoma mtima ndipo sichisunga zifukwa.’ (1 Akor. 13:4, 5) Pakakhala kusagwirizana, anthu okwatirana ayenera kuthetsa vutolo lisanafike tsiku lotsatira. (Aef. 4:26, 27) Pamafunika kudzichepetsa komanso kulimba mtima kuti munthu anene mochokera pansi pa mtima kuti, “Pepani mundikhululukire.” Koma izi zimathandiza kuti anthu okwatirana azithetsa mavuto komanso azigwirizana kwambiri.

7, 8. (a) Kodi Baibulo limapereka malangizo otani pa nkhani ya kugonana? (b) N’chifukwa chiyani anthu okwatirana ayenera kusonyezana chikondi?

⁷ Baibulo limapereka malangizo amene angathandize okwatirana kukhala ndi maganizo oyenera pa nkhani ya kugonana. (Werengani 1 Akorinto 7:3-5.) Aliyense ayenera kuganizira zofuna za mnzake pa nkhaniyi. Ngati mkazi sasonyezedwa chikondi, zingakhale zovuta kuti azisangalala ndi nkhani imeneyi. Paja amuna amauzidwa kuti azikhala ndi akazi awo “mowadziwa bwino.” (1 Pet. 3:7) M’banja labwino, aliyense amafuna kugonana ndi mnzakeyo popanda kukakamizidwa kapena kulamulidwa. N’zoona kuti nthawi zambiri chilakolako chimabwera mofulumira kwa amuna kusiyana ndi akazi. Komabe ndi bwino kuonetsetsa kuti nonse mwakonzeka.

⁸ M’Baibulo mulibe malamulo ofotokoza zonse zimene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kuchita posonyezana chikondi. Komabe limatchula zinthu zina zimene iwo angachite. (Nyimbo 1:2; 2:6) Choncho mwachidule tingati anthu okwatirana ayenera kusonyezana chikondi.

9. N’chifukwa chiyani si bwino kulakalaka munthu amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu?

⁹ Ngati timakonda Mulungu komanso mnzathuyo sitingalole kuti munthu wina kapena zinthu zina zisokoneze banja lathu. Mabanja ena amasokonekera chifukwa choti munthu wina ali ndi chizolowezi choonera zolaula. Choncho, tiyenera kupeweratu chizolowezi chimenechi komanso mtima wolakalaka munthu amene si mkazi kapena mwamuna wathu. Si bwinonso kukopana ndi aliyense amene sitili naye pa banja chifukwa zimangosonyeza kuti tilibe chikondi. Tizikumbukiranso kuti Yehova amadziwa zimene zili mumtima mwathu. Choncho tiziyesetsa kuti zoganiza zathu zizikhala zoyera komanso zosangalatsa Mulungu.—Werengani Mateyu 5:27, 28; Aheberi 4:13.

10, 11. (a) Kodi vuto la kutha kwa mabanja ndi lalikulu bwanji? (b) Kodi Baibulo limati chiyani pa nkhani ya kupatukana? (c) N’chiyani chingatithandize kuti tiziyesetsa kuthetsa mavuto mwamsanga?

¹⁰ M’banja mukakhala mavuto aakulu kwa nthawi yaitali, ambiri amayamba kuganiza zopatukana kapena kuthetsa banjalo. M’mayiko ena mabanja amene amatha ndi ambiri kusiyana ndi amene amakhalapobe. N’zoona kuti zoterezi sizichitikachitika mumpingo wachikhristu. Komabe ndi zodetsa nkhawa tikaganizira mavuto ambiri a m’banja amene abale ndi alongo ena ali nawo.

¹¹ M’Baibulo muli malangizo akuti: “Mkazi asasiye mwamuna wake, koma ngati angamusiye, akhale choncho wosakwatiwa. Apo ayi, abwererane ndi mwamuna wakeyo. Mwamunanso asasiye mkazi wake.” (1 Akor. 7:10, 11) Tisamaganize kuti kupatukana ndi nkhani yaing’ono. Ambiri akakhala ndi mavuto amaona kuti njira yabwino ndi kungopatukana. Komabe tiyenera kudziwa kuti izi zimangowonjezera  mavuto. Yesu atabwereza zimene Mulungu ananena zoti mwamuna amasiya makolo n’kukadziphatika kwa mkazi wake, anati: “Chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.” (Mat. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) Izi zikusonyeza kuti ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi akuganiza zothetsa banja ndiye kuti ‘akulekanitsa chimene Mulungu anamanga.’ Yehova amaona kuti okwatirana ayenera kukhala limodzi moyo wawo wonse. (1 Akor. 7:39) Kukumbukira kuti tonsefe tidzayankha kwa Mulungu, kungatithandize kuti tizithetsa mavuto zinthu zisanafike poipa.

12. Kodi ndi mavuto ati amene angapangitse anthu ena kuganiza zopatukana?

¹² Mavuto ena a m’banja amayamba chifukwa choti zimene anthuwo ankayembekezera sizikuchitika. Mwachitsanzo, ena amaganiza kuti adzakhala ndi banja losangalala. Ndiyeno zikakhala kuti sizikuyenda, amakhumudwa komanso amaona ngati agwiritsidwa mwala. Mavuto ena amabwera chifukwa choti mwamuna ndi mkazi amasiyana mmene amaonera zinthu komanso kumene anakulira. Nthawi zina mavuto angabwere chifukwa cha nkhani zokhudza ndalama, achibale komanso kulera ana. Koma n’zolimbikitsa kuti mabanja ambiri a Mboni za Yehova amapeza njira zabwino zothetsera mavutowa chifukwa amalola kuti Mulungu aziwatsogolera.

13. Kodi pangakhale zifukwa zomveka ziti zimene zingachititse kuti anthu apatukane?

¹³ Nthawi zina pangakhale zifukwa zomveka zoti anthu apatukane. Mwachitsanzo, akazi ena amachita zimenezi ngati mwamuna wawo sakusamalira banja mwadala, akuwachitira nkhanza kwambiri kapenanso akuwaletsa kulambira Mulungu. Abale ndi alongo amene ali ndi mavuto aakulu a m’banja ayenera kuuza akulu. Akuluwa angawathandize kuti azigwiritsa ntchito malangizo a m’Baibulo pothetsa mavuto awo. Pamafunikanso kupempha Yehova kuti atipatse mzimu wake woyera kuti uzitithandiza kutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo komanso kusonyeza makhalidwe amene mzimuwo umatulutsa.—Agal. 5:22, 23. ^[2]

14. Kodi Baibulo limapereka malangizo otani kwa a Mboni amene amuna kapena akazi awo sanayambe kulambira Yehova?

¹⁴ Pali Akhristu ena amene akazi kapena amuna awo si Mboni. Baibulo limalimbikitsa Akhristu oterewa kukhalabe ndi mnzawoyo. (Werengani 1 Akorinto 7:12-14.) Kaya akudziwa kapena ayi, munthu yemwe si Mboniyo “amayeretsedwa” chifukwa chokhala pa banja ndi wa Mboni. Komanso Mulungu amaona kuti ana a m’banjali ndi “oyera” ndipo angakhale naye pa ubwenzi. Pa nkhaniyi, Paulo anati: “Mkaziwe, ukudziwa bwanji, mwina ungapulumutse mwamuna wako? Kapena mwamunawe, ukudziwa bwanji, mwina ungapulumutse mkazi wako?” (1 Akor. 7:16) Pafupifupi mumpingo uliwonse muli mabanja amene poyamba wa Mboni anali mmodzi ndipo anathandiza kuti mnzakeyo ayambe kulambira Yehova.

15, 16. (a) Kodi Baibulo limapereka malangizo ati kwa akazi amene amuna awo si Mboni? (b) Kodi Mkhristu angatani ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wake ‘wosakhulupirira wasankha kuchoka’?

¹⁵ Mtumwi Petulo anapereka malangizo othandiza kwa akazi achikhristu omwe amuna awo si Mboni. Iye anati: “Inu akazi, muzigonjera amuna anu kuti ngati ali osamvera mawu akopeke, osati ndi mawu, koma ndi khalidwe lanu, poona okha ndi maso awo khalidwe lanu loyera ndi ulemu wanu waukulu.” Akazi ayenera kusonyeza “mzimu wabata ndi wofatsa umene uli wamtengo wapatali pamaso pa Mulungu.” Izi zingathandize kuti amuna awo ayambe kulambira Yehova ngakhale kuti sanawalalikire mwachindunji.—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

¹⁶ Nanga kodi Mkhristu angatani ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi wake yemwe si Mboni akufuna kuchoka? Baibulo limati: “Ngati wosakhulupirirayo wachoka, achoke. M’bale kapena mlongo sakhala womangika zinthu zikatero,  koma Mulungu anakuitanani kuti mukhale mu mtendere.” (1 Akor. 7:15) Koma zikatere sikuti Mkhristuyo ali ndi zifukwa za m’Malemba zoti akwatirane ndi wina. Apa nkhani ndi yakuti ngati mnzakeyo akufuna kuchoka sayenera kumukakamiza kuti akhalebe. Nthawi zina kupatukana kungathandize kuti Mkhristuyo azikhala mwamtendere. Komabe angakhale ndi chiyembekezo choti mwina mnzakeyo adzabwerera ndipo kenako adzayamba kulambira Yehova limodzi.

17. Kodi Akhristu apabanja ayenera kuika zinthu ziti pamalo oyamba?

¹⁷ Popeza tili kumapeto kwenikweni kwa “masiku otsiriza,” tikukhala m’nthawi “yapadera komanso yovuta.” (2 Tim. 3:1-5) Koma kukhala pa ubwenzi wolimba ndi Yehova kungathandize kuti dzikoli lisatisokoneze. Paulo analemba kuti: “Nthawi yotsalayi yafupika. Choncho amene ali ndi akazi azikhala ngati alibe. . . . Amene amagwiritsira ntchito dzikoli azikhala ngati amene sakuligwiritsira ntchito mokwanira.” (1 Akor. 7:29-31) Apa Paulo sankauza anthu apabanja kuti azinyalanyaza udindo wawo. Koma ankangowakumbutsa kuti aziika zinthu zokhudza kulambira pamalo oyamba chifukwa nthawi yotsalayi yafupika.—Mat. 6:33.

18. Kodi Akhristu angatani kuti akhalebe ndi banja losangalala?

¹⁸ Monga tanena kale, tikukhala m’masiku ovuta ndipo mabanja ambiri akusokonekera. Koma n’zotheka kukhala ndi banja losangalala. Akhristu akamayesetsa kukhalabe m’gulu la Yehova, kutsatira malangizo a m’Malemba komanso kulola kuti mzimu wa Yehova uziwatsogolera, banja lawo limayenda bwino. Izi zimathandiza kuti asalekanitse “chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi.”—Maliko 10:9.