Achinyamata Akufunsa Kuti . . .

Kubereka Ana—Kodi N’kumene Kumachititsa Mwamuna Kukhala Weniweni?

“Ndimadziŵa anyamata angapo amene amati, ‘Ndili ndi mwana wamkazi amene amakhala apo ndiponso mwana wamwamuna amene amakhala uko,’ ndipo akamanena zimenezi amaoneka ngati kuti sizikuwakhudza n’komwe.”—Harold.

CHAKA chilichonse atsikana okwana pafupifupi miliyoni imodzi ku United States amatenga mimba. Ana ambiri oberekedwa ndi amayi otereŵa sabadwira m’banja. Mayi mmodzi mwa amayi anayi achitsikanawa potsiriza pake amadzakhala ndi mwana wachiŵiri m’zaka ziŵiri zotsatira. Magazini ya Atlantic Monthly inati: “Zinthu zikapitirira kuyenda motere, ana osapitirira theka okha amene akubadwa tsopano ndiwo amene adzakhalebe ndi mayi ndi bambo wawo paubwana wawo wonse. Ana ambiri a ku America adzakhala zaka zingapo m’banja la kholo limodzi.”

Ngakhale kuti dziko la United States lili ndi chiŵerengero chachikulu cha atsikana otenga mimba kuposa mayiko ena, vuto la kubereka ana apathengo lili padziko lonse. M’mayiko ena a ku Ulaya, monga ku England ndi ku France, chiŵerengero cha ana obadwa motere n’chofanana ndi cha ku United States. M’mayiko ena a mu Africa ndi ku South America, chiŵerengero cha atsikana amene amabereka ana n’choŵirikiza chiŵerengero cha ku United States. Kodi chimene chikuchititsa vuto limeneli n’chiyani?

Magwero a Vutoli

Kumbali yaikulu, vutoli lilipo chifukwa cha kuloŵa pansi kwa makhalidwe abwino kumene kulipo mu “nthaŵi zoŵaŵitsa” zimene tikukhalamo zino. (2 Timoteo 3:1-5) M’zaka makumi angapo zaposachedwapa chiŵerengero cha kusudzulana chakwera kwambiri. Kugonana kwa anthu aziwalo zofanana ndi mikhalidwe ina yotereyi kwafala. Achinyamata akhala akukhudzidwa ndi nkhani zokopa zofalitsidwa, nyimbo ndiponso mafilimu, nkhani za m’magazini zolimbikitsa khalidwe loipa ndiponso malonda oneneredwamo, mapulogalamu ndi mafilimu a pa TV amene amalimbikitsa kuchita zachiwerewere. Chimenenso chachititsa kuti achinyamata ambiri azikhulupirira kuti kugonana sikubweretsa vuto lililonse ndi kupezeka kwa mankhwala ochotsera mimba ndiponso oletsa kubereka. Bambo wina wachinyamata amene sali pabanja ananena kuti: “Ndimafuna kugonana kosandipatsa udindo.” “Kugonana ndi maseŵera osangalatsa chabe,” anateronso wina.

Maganizo otereŵa angakhale ofala kwambiri makamaka kwa achinyamata osauka. Wofufuza wotchedwa Elijah Anderson anafunsa mafunso achinyamata ambiri okhala m’kati mwa mzinda  ndipo ananena kuti: “Achinyamata ambiri amaona kugonana monga chizindikiro chofunika kwambiri chosonyeza ulemu wa munthu pakati pa anthu ena; kupambana pa zakugonana kumakhala ngati kuchita chinthu chapamwamba kwambiri.” N’zoonadi bambo wina wosakhala pabanja anauza mtolankhani wa Galamukani! kuti ambiri amaona kupambana pa zakugonana monga “zikho zimene munthu angathe kuika pakhoma.” Kodi chimachititsa kusaganizira ena kotereku n’chiyani? Anderson analongosola kuti nthaŵi zambiri anyamata okhala m’mizinda amaona “anzawo a gulu limodzi” kukhala anthu ofunika kwambiri pa moyo wawo. Iwo amamuuza zoyenera kuchita ndipo n’kofunika kuti iye azichitadi zimenezo.”

Motero Anderson anaona kuti kwa anyamata ambiri, kupambana pa zakugonana m’poyambira chabe. “Cholinga chake chenicheni n’chofuna kupusitsa winayo, makamaka mtsikanayo.” Iye akuwonjeza kuti “potsatira njira imeneyi mnyamatayo amadzionetsera kotheratu, kuyambira pa zovala zake, kudzikongoletsa kwake, maonekedwe ake, luso lake lakuvina, ndi zokamba zake.” Anyamata ambiri ali ndi luso lalikulu zedi lopambanira potsatira njira imeneyi. Komabe Anderson ananena kuti: “Mtsikanayo akatenga mimba, nthaŵi zambiri mnyamata uja amam’thaŵa.”—Buku lakuti Young Unwed Fathers—Changing Roles and Emerging Policies, lolembedwa ndi Robert Lerman ndi Theodora Ooms.

Mmene Mulungu Amaonera Nkhaniyi

Koma kodi kubereka mwana kumampangitsadi munthu kukhala mwamuna weniweni? Kodi kugonana ndi maseŵera chabe? Si mmene Mlengi wathu Yehova Mulungu amanenera. M’mawu ake, Baibulo, Mulungu amanena mosabisa kuti kugonana kuli n’cholinga cholemekezeka. Baibulo limanena za kulengedwa kwa mwamuna ndi mkazi woyamba, ndipo kenaka limati: “Mulungu ndipo anadalitsa iwo, ndipo adati kwa iwo, Mubalane, muchuluke, mudzaze dziko lapansi.” (Genesis 1:27, 28) Sichinali cholinga cha Mulungu kuti ana azisiyidwa ndi atate awo. Iye anaika pamodzi mwamunayo ndiponso mkaziyo mumgwirizano wokhalitsa wabanja. (Genesis 2:24) Motero ankafuna kuti mwana aliyense azikhala ndi amake ndiponso abambo ake.

Komabe, posapita nthaŵi yaitali, amuna anayamba kukwatira mitala. (Genesis 4:19) Genesis 6:2 amatiuza kuti ngakhale olengedwa ena aungelo “anayang’ana ana aakazi a anthu, kuti iwo anali okongola.” Atavala matupi aumunthu, angelo ameneŵa “anadzitengera okha akazi,” anatenga mwaumbombo “onse amene anawasankha.” Chigumula cha nthaŵi ya Nowa chinachititsa ziwanda zimenezi kubwerera kudziko lauzimu. Komabe, Baibulo limasonyeza kuti tsopano zikukhala pafupi ndi dziko. (Chivumbulutso 12:9-12) Choncho Satana ndi ziwanda zake amayambukira anthu mwamphamvu kwambiri lero. (Aefeso 2:2) Mosadziŵa, achinyamata amakhala akuyambukiridwa ndi kuipa kumeneku pamene akubereka ana amene sawafuna ndiponso kuwakonda.

Motero, pa zifukwa zabwino, Malemba amanena kuti: “Chimene Mulungu akufuna ndi ichi: mukhale oyera mtima, ndiye kuti muzipewa dama. Aliyense mwa inu adziŵe kulamula thupi lake, pakulilemekeza ndi kulisunga bwino, osalidetsa. Musamangotsata zilakolako zonyansa, monga amachitira akunja, amene sadziŵa Mulungu. Pa zimenezi munthu asachimwire mbale wake kapena kum’pezera monga tidakuuzani kale monenetsa, Ambuye adzalanga anthu onse ochita zotere.”— 1 Atesalonika 4:3-6, Buku Loyera.

“Akuti kupewa dama”? Achinyamata ambiri angathe kunyodola maganizo ameneŵa. Ndiponsotu iwo adakali aang’ono ndipo zikhumbo zawo n’zamphamvu! Koma taonani kuti kuchita chisembwere kulinso ‘kuwononga ndiponso kuchimwira ufulu’ wa anthu ena. Kodi sikum’chimwira mtsikana kum’siya ali ndi mwana komanso popanda mwamuna wom’thandiza? Nanga taganiziraninso za tsoka lom’patsira matenda opatsirana pogonana, monga nsungu zakumaliseche, chindoko, mabomu, kapena AIDS? N’zoona kuti nthaŵi zina n’kotheka kupewa zinthu zoterezi. Ngakhalebe zinthu zili choncho, kugonana ukwati usanachitike ndiko kuchimwira ufulu wa mtsikana kuti asakhale ndi mbiri yabwino ndi kulowa m’banja monga namwali. Motero, kupewa kugonana n’chinthu chanzeru ndiponso kumasonyeza uchikulire. N’zoona kuti pamafunika kudziletsa kuti ‘udzisunge’ ndi kupewa kugonana usanakwatire. Koma monga mmene  Yesaya 48:17, 18 amatiuzira, Mulungu ‘amatiphunzitsa kupindula’ pogwiritsa ntchito malamulo ake.

“Dzikhalitseni Amuna”

Komabe, kodi mnyamata angasonyeze bwanji kuti ndi mwamuna weniweni? N’kwachidziŵikire kuti sangatero pokhala ndi ana apatchire. Baibulo limalimbikitsa kuti: “Dikirani, [“khalani amaso,” NW] chirimikani m’chikhulupiriro, dzikhalitseni amuna, limbikani. Zanu zonse zichitike m’chikondi.”—1 Akorinto 16:13, 14.

Taonani kuti akati ‘kudzikhalitsa monga amuna’ ndiye kutinso tiyenera kukhala amaso, olimba m’chikhulupiriro, olimba mtima, ndiponso achikondi. N’zoona kuti mfundo zimenezi zimagwira ntchito mofanana kwa amuna ndi akazi omwe. Koma mukakulitsa mikhalidwe yauzimu monga imeneyi, anthu adzakhala ndi zifukwa zokwanira zokupatsirani ulemu ndiponso kukukhumbirani monga mwamuna weniweni! Tatengani chitsanzo cha munthu wamkulu woposa onse amene anakhalako—Yesu Kristu. Tangoganizirani chamuna, ndiponso kupanda mantha kwake pamene anali kuzunzidwa ngakhale pamene anali kuphedwa. Koma kodi Yesu anali kukhala motani ndi anthu osiyana nawo ziwalo?

Mosakayika Yesu anali ndi mwayi wochezerana ndi akazi. Anali ndi om’tsatira ambiri aakazi, ndipo ena a iwo anali “kum’tumikira [iye pamodzi ndi atumwi ake] ndi chuma chawo.” (Luka 8:3) Iye anali kukondana kwambiri ndi alongo aŵiri a Lazaro. Kwenikweni, Baibulo limati “Yesu anakonda Marita, ndi mbale wake.” (Yohane 11:5) Pakuti Yesu anali wangwiro, n’zosakayikitsa kuti iye anali ndi nzeru, mbalume, ndiponso maonekedwe abwino, koma kodi anakopa akazi ameneŵa kuti achite nawo zosayenera pogwiritsa ntchito zinthu zimenezi? Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, Baibulo limanena kuti Yesu “sanachita tchimo.” (1 Petro 2:22) Iye sanachite zinthu zosayenera ngakhale pamene mkazi amene anali wotchuka monga wochimwa, mwina anali wachigololo, “analira, nayamba kukhathamiza mapazi ake ndi misozi, nawapukuta ndi tsitsi la mutu wake.” (Luka 7:37, 38) Yesu sanaganizeko n’komwe zopezerapo mwayi pa mayi wosavutayu! Iye anasonyeza kudziletsa kwake kumene kuli chizindikiro cha mwamuna weniweni. Iye sankatenga akazi, monga pothetserapo zilakolako za kugonana, koma monga anthu ofunika ulemu ndiponso chikondi.

Ngati ndinu mnyamata wachikristu, kutsatira chitsanzo cha Kristu, osati cha anzanu ena, kudzakuthandizani kuti ‘musachimwire ndi kuwononga ufulu’ wa wina. Kudzakuthandizaninso kuti musakumane ndi tsoka lomvetsa chisoni la kukhala ndi mwana wapatchire. N’zoona kuti ena angakusekeni chifukwa chopewa chigololo. Koma m’kupita kwa nthaŵi, kuyanjidwa ndi Mulungu kudzakupindulitsani kwambiri kuposa kuyanjidwa ndi anzanu kwakanthaŵi chabe.—Miyambo 27:11.

Kodi nanga bwanji ngati wachinyamata amene m’mbuyo anali ndi khalidwe loipa tsopano analisiya ndipo analapadi? Ngati ndi choncho, ndiye kuti nayenso angathe kukhala wotsimikiza kuti Mulungu amukhululukira monga anachitira ndi Mfumu Davide amene analapa, pakuti nayenso anachita chigololo. (2 Samueli 11:2-5; 12:13; Salmo 51:1, 2) Koma ngati zimenezi zinachititsa kuti apereke mimba, ndiye kuti mnyamatayo ayenera kuganizapo mofatsa. Kodi amukwatire mtsikanayo? Kodi mnyamatayu ali ndi udindo uliwonse pa mwana wakeyo? Nkhani yamtsogolo idzayankha mafunso ameneŵa.

[Chithunzi patsamba 30]

Achinyamata ambiri amakhulupirira molakwa kuti kugonana sikubweretsa vuto lililonse