Pali Anzanu Abwino ndi Anzanu Oipa

MTSIKANA wina amene mu nkhani ino timutche kuti Sarah anafotokozera mwamuna winawake zinthu zimene zinali kumuzunguza maganizo. Iye anati mwamuna wina amene ankaganiza kuti anali mnzake anapezeka kuti ndi wopha anthu. Iye anati, ‘Ngati munthu amene ndinkamukhulupirira anachita zimenezo, kodi ndingakhulupirirenso bwanji munthu wina?’ Mwamuna amene anali kumumvetserayo anafunsa Sarah ngati ankadziwa mfundo zimene mwamunayo ankayendera pamoyo wake. Iye anayankha kuti: “Mukutanthauza chiyani?” Sarah sanadziwe n’komwe kuti ‘mfundo zoyendera pamoyo’ n’chiyani. Nanga bwanji inuyo? Kodi mukudziwa mfundo zimene anzanu amayendera pamoyo wawo?

Yankho la funso limenelo lingatanthauze moyo kapena imfa, monga momwe nkhani ya Sarah ikusonyezera. Mwambi wina wa m’Baibulo umafotokoza zimenezi motere: “Ukayenda ndi anzeru udzakhala wanzeru: koma mnzawo wa opusa adzapwetekedwa.” (Miyambo 13:20) Komabe, mofanana ndi Sarah, anthu ambiri amasankha anzawo pongoona ngati akugwirizana kapena ayi, ndiponso pongoona momwe amamvera akakhala ndi munthu winayo. Mwachibadwa, timafuna kukhala ndi anthu oti tikakhala  nawo timamva bwino. Koma ngati tingoganizira zimenezo basi posankha anzathu, osaganizira khalidwe la munthuyo, tikhoza kudzakhumudwa kwambiri. Kodi mungadziwe bwanji ngati munthu amayendera mfundo zabwino pamoyo wake?

Kufunika Koyendera Mfundo za Makhalidwe Abwino Zapamwamba

Poyamba, ifeyo tiyenera kukhala ndi mfundo zathu zabwino zoyendera. Tifunika kudziwa chabwino ndi choipa, ndi kutsatira mfundo za makhalidwe abwino zapamwamba nthawi zonse. Mwambi wina wa m’Baibulo umati: “Chitsulo chinola chitsulo; chomwecho munthu anola nkhope ya mnzake.” (Miyambo 27:17) Anthu awiri akakhala kuti onse amatsatira kwambiri mfundo zabwino za makhalidwe, akhoza kuthandizana kukhwima maganizo, ndipo akhoza kumagwirizana kwambiri.

Pacôme, wa ku France, anati: “Kwa ine, mnzanga weniweni ndi amene amandimvetsera ndikamalankhula ndi kundilankhula mokoma mtima komanso amene angathe kundidzudzula ndikachita chinachake chopusa.” Zoonadi, anzathu abwino, kaya akhale achinyamata kapena achikulire, ndi amene amatithandiza kupitiriza kuchita zinthu zabwino ndiponso ndi amene amatidzudzula tikafuna kuchita zinthu zolakwika. Baibulo limati: “Kulasa kwa bwenzi kuli kokhulupirika.” (Miyambo 27:6) Kuti tipitirizebe kukhala ndi makhalidwe abwino ndiponso moyo wauzimu wabwino, tikufunika kumacheza ndi anthu amene amakonda Mulungu ndi mfundo zake. Céline, wa ku France, akukumbukira kuti: “Panthawi imene kusukulu kwathu kunalibe munthu wina amene anali ndi mfundo ndi zikhulupiriro zachikristu zofanana ndi zanga, m’pamene ndinaphunzira kufunika kokhala ndi anzanga enieni mu mpingo wachikristu. Andithandiza kwambiri kuchita zinthu mosamala.”

Kupenda Bwinobwino Anthu Amene Mukufuna Kuti Akhale Anzanu

Ngati mukufuna kuti munthu winawake amene mwangodziwana naye kumene akhale mnzanu, mungafunike kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi anzake ndi ndani?’ Mungathe kudziwa bwino khalidwe la munthu poyang’ana anthu amene amacheza nawo. Ndiponso, kodi anthu okhwima maganizo ndiponso olemekezeka a m’dera lanu amamuona motani munthuyo? Kuwonjezera apo, n’chinthu chanzeru kuganizira mmene anthu amene tikufuna kuti akhale anzathuwo amachitira zinthu akakhala ndi ifeyo komanso akakhala ndi anthu ena, makamaka anthu amene sangapezeko thandizo m’njira iliyonse. Ngati munthu sasonyeza makhalidwe abwino monga kuona mtima, kukhulupirika, kuleza mtima, ndi kuganizira ena nthawi zonse ndiponso kwa anthu onse, kodi mungakhulupirire kuti azidzakuchitirani inuyo zinthu zabwino nthawi zonse?

Kuti mudziwedi khalidwe la munthu pamafunika kudekha ndiponso luso, komanso pamafunika nthawi kuti muone mmene munthuyo amachitira zinthu pamoyo wake wa tsiku ndi tsiku. Baibulo limati: “Uphungu wa m’mtima mwa munthu ndiwo madzi akuya; koma munthu wozindikira adzatungapo.”  (Miyambo 20:5) Timafunika kulankhula nkhani zofunika ndi anthu amene tikufuna kuti akhale anzathu, nkhani zimene zimasonyeza poyera khalidwe lawo lenileni, mtima wawo, ndiponso mfundo zimene amayendera pamoyo wawo. Tifunika kudziwa kuti kodi munthuyo ndi wotani? Kodi ndi wokoma mtima kapena wosakonda kucheza ndi anthu ena? Kodi ndi wansangala kapena wokonda kudandaula ndiponso kutola ena zifukwa? Kodi ndi wosadzikonda kapena wongokonda za iye yekha? Kodi ndi wokhulupirika kapena wosakhulupirika? Ngati munthu amakuuzani zoipa za anthu ena, kodi n’chiyani chingamuletse kuuza ena zoipa za inu mukakhala kuti inuyo palibe? Yesu anati: “M’kamwa mungolankhula mwa kusefuka kwake kwa mtima.” (Mateyu 12:34) Choncho tifunika kumvetsera mosamala zimene munthuyo amanena.

Zinthu Zofunika Kwambiri Zoti Muzifanana

Anthu ena amaganiza kuti anzawo ayenera kukonda ndendende zinthu zomwe iwowo amakonda. Kamnyamata kena kanati sikangakhale mnzake wa munthu amene sakonda keke yamtundu winawake imene ikoko kamakonda. N’zoona kuti mabwenzi ayenera kukonda zinthu zina zofanana kuti azimvana, ndipo n’zofunikanso kwambiri kuti azikonda mfundo zofanana za makhalidwe abwino ndi zauzimu. Koma sikuti amafunika kukhala ndi khalidwe lofanana kapena kukhala oti anakulira kofanana. Ndipo nthawi zina kukhala osiyana kumene munakulira kungachititse kuti ubwenzi wanu ukhale wosangalatsa ndiponso wothandiza awiri nonsenu.

Zitsanzo ziwiri zabwino kwambiri za m’Baibulo za anthu ogwirizana kwambiri, ndizo Jonatani ndi Davide, ndiponso Rute ndi Naomi. Zitsanzo zimenezi zimasonyeza kuti ubwenzi wawo unayamba chifukwa choti onsewo anali odzipereka kwa Mulungu ndiponso ankatsatira mfundo zake. * N’zochititsa chidwi kuti maubwenzi awiri onsewa anali pakati pa anthu osiyana kwambiri zaka ndiponso mmene anakulira. Choncho akutiphunzitsa chinthu chofunika kwambiri pankhani ya ubwenzi, choti achinyamata ndi achikulire akhoza kukhala ndi ubwenzi wabwino kwambiri ngakhale ali osiyana zaka.

Kupindula Chifukwa Chosiyana Zaka

Kukhala ndi anzathu aang’ono kapena aakulu kuposa ifeyo kungatithandize ifeyo ndi anzathuwo. Taganizirani mawu otsatirawa amene achinyamata ena ananena ofotokoza zomwe zinawachitikira iwowo.

 Manuela (Italy): “Ndinapalana ubwenzi ndi banja lina lachikulire m’mbuyomu. Ndinayamba kuwamasukira, ndipo chimene chimandisangalatsa n’choti iwonso anayamba kundimasukira. Sanandione ngati wosadziwa zinthu chifukwa choti ndinali wamng’ono. Chifukwa cha zimenezi ndinayamba kuwakonda kwambiri. Chifukwa choti ndi anzanga, amandithandiza kwambiri ndikamakumana ndi mavuto. Ndaona kuti ndikamakambirana mavuto anga ndi anthu a msinkhu wanga, nthawi zina atsikana anzanga amandipatsa malangizo amene sanawaganizire mofatsa. Koma anzanga achikulire akumana ndi zambiri pamoyo wawo, amazindikira bwino zinthu, ndipo ali ndi luso lotha kuona zinthu moyenera, luso limene achinyamatafe tilibe. Ndi thandizo lawo, ndimatha kuchita zinthu mwanzeru.”

Zuleica (Italy): “Tikakhala ndi phwando timaitana osati achinyamata okhaokha, komanso ena amene ali achikulire kuposa ifeyo. Ine ndaona kuti pamacheza pakakhala achinyamata ndi achikulire, tonsefe timaona kuti talimbikitsidwa madzulo amenewo. Timasangalala chifukwa aliyense amaona zinthu mosiyana.”

Achikulirenu mungasonyezenso chidwi kwa achinyamata. Monga momwe ndemanga zili pamwambazo zikusonyezera, achinyamata ambiri amayamikira zinthu zimene mwakumana nazo pamoyo wanu ndipo amasangalala kucheza nanu. Amelia, mzimayi wamasiye amene ali ndi zaka zopitirira 80, anati: “Ndimayamba ndi ineyo kulankhulana ndi achinyamata. Kuchuluka kwa mphamvu zawo kumandisangalatsa kwambiri!” Munthu angapindule kwa nthawi yaitali ndi zotsatirapo zabwino za kulimbikitsana koteroko. Achikulire ambiri amene ali achimwemwe amati zinthu zinawayendera bwino makamaka chifukwa choti ali achinyamata anali ndi anzawo amene anali okulirapo kuposa iwowo, amene anali zitsanzo zabwino ndiponso ankawapatsa malangizo abwino.

Kukonza Maubwenzi Anu Kuti Akhale Abwino Kuposa Kale

Kuti mukhale ndi anzanu abwino, sikuti mumafunika kupeza anzanu atsopano nthawi zonse. Ngati muli kale ndi anzanu abwino, bwanji osaganizira zomwe mungachite kuti mulimbitse ubwenzi wanuwo? Anzathu amene takhala nawo kwa nthawi yaitali ndi amtengo wapatali kwambiri, ndipo tiyenera kuwachitira zinthu mosonyeza kuti timawayamikira. Musamaganize kuti kukhala ndi anzanu okhulupirika oterowo n’chinthu chapafupi.

Koposa zonse, kumbukirani kuti chimwemwe chenicheni, ndiponso ubwenzi weniweni, umabwera mukamachita zinthu modzipereka, mukamapeza nthawi yocheza ndi anzanuwo, ndiponso mukamagwiritsa ntchito zinthu zimene muli nazo pothandiza ena. Phindu lake n’lalikulu kuposa zinthu, nthawi, ndi mphamvu zimene mungawononge. Komabe, mukamangoganizira za inuyo posankha anzanu, zinthu sizidzakuyenderani bwino. Choncho mukamaganiza zopeza anzanu, musamangoganizira anthu amene mumawasirira kapena amene angakuthandizeni m’njira inayake. Muziganiziranso anthu amene ena sangawaganizire kapena amene paokha angavutike kupeza anzawo. Gaëlle, wa ku France, anati: “Tikamakonza zochita zinazake pagulu pathu n’kukumbukira kuti pali achinyamata ena amene akusungulumwa, timawaitana. Timawauza kuti: ‘Si bwino kuti mungokhala nokhanokha kunyumba. Bwerani mucheze nafe. Mukatero tikhoza kudziwana bwino.’”—Luka 14:12-14.

Komanso anthu abwino akafuna kuti mukhale anzawo, musamafulumire kukana. Elisa, wa ku Italy, anati: “Mwina simungafune kucheza nawo mukamaganiza kuti m’mbuyomu amakupatulani. Mungayambe kuganiza kuti, ‘Zilibe ntchito chifukwa kupeza anzanga si chinthu chofunika kwenikweni kwa ine.’ Choncho mumapezeka kuti simukucheza ndi aliyense, mumayamba kusungulumwa, ndipo mumangoganizira za inuyo basi. M’malo mopeza anzanu, mumadzilepheretsa nokha kutero.” M’malo molola kuti mantha obwera popanda chifukwa chabwino chilichonse kapena kudzikonda kukulepheretseni kupeza anzanu atsopano, muzimasukira anthu ena. Tifunika kukhala oyamikira kwambiri ngati anthu ena achita nafe chidwi mokwanira moti akufuna kukhala anzathu.

Mukhoza Kukhala ndi Anzanu Enieni

Kuti munthu akhale ndi anzake enieni, pamafunika zambiri kuposa kulakalaka chabe, kudikira, ndi kuwerenga nkhani ngati zinozi. Kuphunzira kupeza anzanu kuli ngati kuphunzira kukwera njinga. Sitingaphunzire kuchita zinthu ziwiri zonsezi pongowerenga mabuku basi. Tifunika kuyesera, ngakhale zitatanthauza kuti tigwa nthawi zingapo. Baibulo limasonyeza kuti maubwenzi olimba kwambiri amapangika chifukwa choti anthuwo alinso pa ubwenzi ndi Mulungu. Koma Mulungu sangadalitse zoyesayesa zathu zoti tipeze anzathu ngati sitikuyesayesa n’komwe. Kodi mukufunitsitsa kupeza anzanu enieni? Musataye mtima! Pempherani kwa Mulungu, yambani ndi inuyo kumasukira anthu ena, ndipo khalani ochezeka.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

 [Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 27]

Malangizo kwa Makolo

Mofanana ndi maphunziro ambiri, kuphunzira zokhala ndi mabwenzi kumayambira kunyumba. Mwana akakhala wamng’ono, anthu a m’banja mwake amakhala anzake okwanira, otha kukwaniritsa zosowa zake zonse, zinthu zikakhala kuti zili bwino. Ngakhale zinthu zikhale bwino choncho, maganizo a mwana, mmene akumvera, ndi khalidwe lake, zimakhudzidwa kwambiri ndi anthu ena a kunja kwa banja lake amene amakumana nawo. Mwachitsanzo, taganizirani mmene ana ambiri a anthu amene asamukira ku dziko lina amaphunzirira kulankhula chinenero chatsopano pongosewera ndi ana ena.

Monga makolo, muli ndi mwayi wothandiza ana anu kusankha anzawo mwanzeru. Ana aang’ono ndi achinyamata amakhala alibe luso lotha kusankha anzawo bwino popanda kutsogoleredwa ndi makolo awo. Komabe, pali vuto. Achinyamata ambiri amakondana kwambiri ndi achinyamata anzawo kusiyana ndi makolo awo kapena anthu ena achikulire.

Akatswiri ena akukhulupirira kuti chinthu chimodzi chimene chimachititsa achinyamata kugwirizana kwambiri ndi anzawo kusiyana ndi makolo awo n’choti makolo ambiri amaona kuti sangathe kulamulira ana awo. Makolo ayenera kukwaniritsa udindo umene Mulungu anawapatsa wotsogolera ana awo ndi kudziwa bwinobwino zimene zikuwachitikira anawo pamoyo wawo. (Aefeso 6:1-4) Koma kodi angachite bwanji zimenezi? Mlangizi wina wa mabanja dzina lake Dr. Ron Taffel amakumana ndi makolo ambiri amene sadziwa momwe angachitire zinthu ndi ana awo achinyamata. Iye anati makolo ambiri “amatsatira malangizo osiyanasiyana amene amafalitsidwa m’manyuzipepala, pawailesi, ndi pa TV, ofotokoza mmene angalerere ana awowo” m’malo mochita zinthu ngati makolo enieni a anawo. Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani amachita zimenezi? N’chifukwa choti “sawadziwa bwinobwino anawo kuti athe kuwamvetsa bwino.”

Koma zinthu siziyenera kukhala choncho. Makolo ayenera kumvetsa kuti ana angayambe kugwirizana kwambiri ndi anzawo ngati sakupeza zimene amafunikira kunyumba. Ndipo kodi amafunikira chiyani? Taffel anati: “Amafunika zimene achinyamata akhala akufuna kuyambira kalekale: kusamalidwa, kuyamikiridwa, kutetezeka, kupatsidwa malamulo omveka bwino, ndi kudziwa zimene akuyembekezeka kuchita. Amafunikanso kumva kuti iwowo ndi ofunika m’banjalo. Koma masiku ano n’zomvetsa chisoni kuti achinyamata ambiri sapeza zinthu zimene amafunikirazi kwa anthu achikulire ndipo satha kukhala ‘omasuka’ m’mabanja mwawo.”

Kodi mungawathandize bwanji ana anu kupeza anzawo abwino? Chinthu choyamba ndicho kuganizira mmene mukukhalira moyo wanu ndi mabwenzi amene muli nawo. Kodi zolinga zanu ndiponso za anzanu ndi moyo umene inuyo ndi anzanu mumakhala zimapereka chitsanzo chabwino ndiponso zimasonyeza kuti sindinu odzikonda? Kodi mumasonyeza kuti mumakonda zinthu zauzimu kapena mumakonda ndalama? Mkulu wina wachikristu amene alinso tate, dzina lake Douglas anati: “Anthu amatsatira kwambiri zimene mumachita osati zimene mumanena, choncho ana anu adzatengera mtima ndi zochita zimene amaona inuyo, anzanu, ndiponso ana a anzanuwo akuchita.”

Ngakhale zinyama mwachibadwa zimateteza ana awo ku zinyama zina zoopsa, ndipo nthawi zambiri zimachita zimenezi mwaukali kwambiri. Katswiri wina wophunzira za zimbalangondo anati: “Zimbalangondo zazikazi zimatchuka kwambiri ndi kuteteza ana awo ku chinthu chilichonse chomwe zikuona kuti chingapweteke anawo.” Kodi makolo ayenera kuchita zochepa kuposa pamenepa? Ruben, wa ku Italy anati: “Makolo anga anagwiritsa ntchito Malemba pokambirana nane. Anandithandiza kumvetsa kuti ndi bwino osacheza ndi anthu ena ake. Maganizo anga oyamba anali oti: ‘Zimenezi si zabwino. Ndiye ndizicheza ndi ndani?’ Koma patapita nthaŵi, zaoneka kuti ankanena zoona, ndipo chifukwa cha kuleza mtima kwawo, ndinatetezedwa.”

Ndiponso, muzithandiza ana anu kukumana ndi anthu amene ali zitsanzo zabwino ndiponso amene angawathandize kukhala ndi zolinga zabwino. Francis, mnyamata wachikulire amene akusangalala chifukwa choti zinthu zamuyendera bwino pamoyo wake akukumbukira kuti: “Mayi anga anaona kuti achinyamatafe tinkakonda kukhala patokha, choncho anatithandiza poitana anthu ena amene anali akhama mu utumiki wachikristu wanthawi zonse kuti azibwera kunyumba kwathu. Mwanjira imeneyi, tinawadziwa bwino ndipo anasanduka anzathu, kunyumba kwathu komweko.” Ngati muchita khama loterolo, nyumba yanu ingasanduke malo osangalatsa kwambiri oti ana anu apezere anzawo abwino.

[Chithunzi patsamba 25]

Muziona mmene anthu amene mukufuna kuti akhale anzanu amachitira zinthu

[Chithunzi patsamba 26]

Anthu akakhala osadzikonda ubwenzi wawo umayenda bwino ngakhale ali osiyana zaka ndi kumene anakulira