Masithi unomhlobo wesini esahlukileyo okuqonda kakuhle. Akukho nto ningakwaziyo ukuncokola ngayo. Uzixelela ukuba ‘singabahlobo nje,’ kodwa lona iqabane lakho belingenakucinga njalo xa linokuva iincoko zenu.

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ubuhlobo benu sele bugqith’ emgceni yaye kuza kufuneka uyilungise le ngxaki. Kodwa ke, kuza kufuneka uqale uqonde unobangela wale ngxaki uzibona ukuyo.

Ulwaneliseko. Xa sithetha inyani, kuthi ngco kuwe xa uhoywe ngumntu wesini esahlukileyo. Kumnandi ukwazi ukuba sixatyisiwe kwaye kusenza sizibone sibahle. Emva kwexesha elide utshatile, ukuhoywa ngomnye umntu wesini esahlukileyo kunokukwenza uzive usemcimbini. Kodwa nantsi into omele uyazi: ukuziva usemcimbini kuba uhoywe ngumntu ongeloqabane lakho kuza kukufaka engxakini. Xa uqalisa ukuthi swii ngumntu ongatshatanga naye, uwenza buthathaka umtshato wakho. Kaloku xa wenza loo nto, ucuntsula kuthando obufanele ukulunika umyeni okanye umkakho uze ulunike omnye umntu.

• Zibuze, ‘Zintoni endizifumana kobu buhlobo ebendifanele ndizifumane emtshatweni wam?’

Ukuba sesichengeni. IBhayibhile iyavuma ukuba abo batshatayo baya kufumana ‘imbandezelo.’ (1 Korinte 7:28) Ngokomzekelo, maxa wambi unokubona ngathi umntu otshate naye akakuhoyanga okanye akakuxabisanga, okanye nawe usabambelele kwinto enanixabene ngayo naza anayilungisa. Mhlawumbi ucatshukiswa kukuba iqabane lakho alifuni ukuthetha ngaloo nto inixabanisayo, nto leyo enokukubeka esichengeni xa unokuhoywa ngomnye umntu. Ezinye iingcali zithi ukungathethi ngeengxaki kunokubangela ukungonwabi emtshatweni, mhlawumbi noqhawulo-mtshato.

• Zibuze, ‘Ngaba kukho ingxaki emtshatweni wam enokundenza ndithatheke xa ndinokuhoywa ngomnye umntu?’

Yiqonde ingozi. IBhayibhile ithi: ‘Ngaba unokuwufumba na umlilo esifubeni sakho zize izambatho zakho zingatshi?’ (IMizekeliso 6:27) Inyaniso yile, ukuthanda omnye umntu ngoxa utshatile kukudlala ngomlilo. (Yakobi 1:14, 15) Sukucinga ngento esenokwenzeka, cinga ngale seyenzekile. Xa uthe swii ngomnye umntu, uvimba iqabane lakho oko ubufanele ukulinika kona.

Yeka ukuphupha. Ubuhlobo obusondeleyo bunokukwenza uzibuze ukuba bekuya kuba njani xa ubutshate nalo mntu. Kusenokwenzeka ukuba uthelekisa iimpawu ezintle zalo mhlobo wakho neentsilelo zeqabane lakho, ibe ngokwenza loo nto uyalicinezela iqabane lakho! Ungalibali kaloku ukuba kusenokwenzeka ukuba imincili oba nayo xa ucinga ngalo mhlobo yileyo wawuba nayo xa ucinga ngalo mntu utshate naye.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Yeremiya 17:9.

Yiba nemida. Abantu bafaka iialam ezimotweni okanye emakhayeni abo ukuze kungaqhekezwa. Unokwenza okufanayo nakumtshato wakho. IBhayibhile ithi: “Londoloza intliziyo yakho.” (IMizekeliso 4:23) Unokuyenza njani loo nto? Zama ezi zinto:

• Mayicace into yokuba utshatile—mhlawumbi ngokuba ubeke iifoto zomntu otshate naye edesikeni yakho.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Genesis 2:24.

• Zazi izinto ongenakuzivumela xa ukunye nabantu besini esahlukileyo. Ngokomzekelo, bekungayi kufaneleka ukuthetha nalo mhlobo ngeengxaki zakho zomtshato okanye uye kuphola kunye nomntu osebenza naye wesini esahlukileyo.

• Ukuba unobuhlobo obugqith’ emgceni nomntu wesini esahlukileyo, buphelise. Ukuba kunzima, zibuze isizathu. Kunokuzama ukuthethelela obu buhlobo, cinga ngeqabane lakho uze wenze konke okusemandleni ukuze ukhusele umtshato wenu.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 5:18, 19.