1. Nangona isibini sivuya xa sitshata, yintoni esinokuyilindela? (Jonga umfanekiso osekuqaleni.)

NJENGOKO umyeni ebona umtshakazi wakhe ngosuku lwabo lomtshato, khawuyithelekelele indlela abavuya ngayo. Xa babethandana, uthando lwabo lwakhula kangangokuba bakulungela ukufunga ukuba baza kuchitha ubomi babo bonke bekunye. Ewe kona, kuza kufuneka benze utshintsho kwindlela abaqhele ukuphila ngayo, njengoko beqala ubomi obutsha. Kodwa iLizwi likaThixo linamacebiso obulumko anokunceda bonke abo bafuna ukutshata, kuba uMsunguli wotshato onothando ufuna izibini zonwabe emitshatweni yazo. (IMize. 18:22) Sekunjalo, iZibhalo zisixelela phandle ukuba abantu abangafezekanga abatshatayo “baya kuba nembandezelo enyameni yabo.” (1 Kor. 7:28) Ngoko loo mbandezelo inokuncitshiswa njani? Ibe yintoni enokwenza umtshato wamaKristu uphumelele?

2. Ziziphi iintlobo zothando abamele bazibonise abantu abatshatileyo?

² IBhayibhile ibethelela ukubaluleka kothando. Ukuthantamisa (phi·liʹa, ngesiGrike) kuyafuneka emtshatweni. Ukuthandana  kwabantu ababini (eʹros) kubangel’ imihlali, yaye ukuthanda intsapho (stor·geʹ) kubalulekile xa kukhuliswa abantwana. Kodwa ke, luthando olusekelwe kumgaqo (a·gaʹpe) olwenza umtshato uphumelele. Ngokuphathelele olu thando, umpostile uPawulos wabhala wathi: “Ngamnye wenu makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda; ke yena umfazi, makabe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.”—Efe. 5:33.

3. Lumele lomelele kangakanani uthando emtshatweni?

³ UPawulos wabhala wathi: “Madoda, qhubekani nibathanda abafazi benu, kanye njengokuba noKristu walithandayo ibandla waza wazinikela ngenxa yalo.” (Efe. 5:25) Ukuze abalandeli bakaYesu baxelise umzekelo wakhe, kufuneka bathandane ngendlela naye awabathanda ngayo. (Funda uYohane 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) AmaKristu atshatileyo amele athandane kakhulu kangangokuba akulungele ukufelana, xa oko kunokuba yimfuneko. Noko ke, bekuya kuba nzima oko xa exambulisana. Kodwa, uthando olungu-a·gaʹpe “luthwala izinto zonke, lukholelwa izinto zonke, luthemba izinto zonke, lunyamezela izinto zonke. Uthando aluze lutshitshe.” (1 Kor. 13:7, 8) Xa abantu abatshatileyo aboyika uThixo bekhumbula isifungo sabo sokuba baza kuthandana, yaye bachithe ubomi babo bonke bekunye, loo nto iya kubanceda babambisane ekusebenziseni imigaqo kaYehova ephakamileyo xa belungisa iingxaki zomtshato.

4, 5. (a) Indoda imele ibusebenzise njani ubuntloko bayo? (b) Umfazi umele abujonge njani ubuntloko? (c) Luluphi utshintsho esinye isibini ekwafuneka silwenze?

⁴ UPawulos wathetha ngeembopheleleko zeqabane ngalinye lomtshato, wathi: “Abafazi mabathobele amadoda abo njengakuyo iNkosi, ngenxa yokuba indoda iyintloko yomfazi wayo njengokuba noKristu eyintloko yebandla.” (Efe. 5:22, 23) Oko akumthobi sidima umfazi. Kunoko kumnceda aphumeze indima awayethe uThixo umfazi uza kuyiphumeza xa wathi: “Akulungile ukuba umntu [uAdam] aqhubeke eyedwa. Ndiza kumenzela umncedi oza kuba ngumphelelisi wakhe.” (Gen. 2:18) Kanye njengokuba uKristu, ‘intloko yebandla,’ ebusebenzisa ngothando ubuntloko bakhe, nayo indoda engumKristu imele ibusebenzise ngothando ubuntloko bayo. Oko kuya kwenza umfazi wayo azive ekhuselekile yaye akuvuyele ukuyihlonela, ukuyixhasa nokuyithobela.

⁵ UCathy ^[1] uchaza utshintsho olumele lwenziwe emtshatweni, esithi: “Njengodade ongatshatanga, ndandiziphilela yaye ndizinyamekela. Kodwa ndathi ndakutshata, kwafuneka ndenze utshintsho ndize ndifunde ukuxhomekeka kumyeni wam. Bekungasoloko kulula, kodwa siye sasondelelana kakhulu ngokwenza izinto ngendlela kaYehova.” Umyeni wakhe uFred uthi: “Ukwenza izigqibo akuzange kube yinto elula kum. Kaloku, xa utshatile kufuneka ucingele neqabane lakho xa uthatha isigqibo, ibe oko akuyondlwan’ iyanetha. Kodwa, ukufuna ulwalathiso lukaYehova ngomthandazo, nokuphulaphula amacebiso omfazi wam, kuwenza ube khaphukhaphu umthwalo. Ndivakalelwa kukuba, sibambisene ngokwenene ngoku!”

6. Uthando luba nguwo njani “umxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano” xa kuvela iingxaki emtshatweni?

⁶ Umtshato uyomelela xa abantu abatshatileyo bekulungele ukuzibetha ngoyaba iimpazamo ezincinane. ‘Baqhubeka benyamezelana yaye bexolelana ngesisa.’ Ewe kona, bobabini baza kuzenza iimpazamo. Xa oko kusenzeka, bamele bafunde kwiimpazamo zabo, baxolelane baze bavumele  uthando lube “ngumxokelelwane ogqibeleleyo womanyano.” (Kol. 3:13, 14) Ukongezelela, “uthando luzeka kade umsindo yaye lunobubele. . . . Alunanzondo.” (1 Kor. 13:4, 5) Ukungavisisani kumele kulungiswe ngokukhawuleza kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ngoko, amaKristu atshatileyo amele azame ukulungisa nayiphi na ingxaki ekhoyo phakathi kwawo ngaphambi kokuba usuku luphele. (Efe. 4:26, 27) Ukuthi ngokunyanisekileyo “Ndicela uxolo ngokukukhathaza,” kufuna ukuthobeka nesibindi, kodwa kuyanceda, kuba kulungisa iingxaki kuze kuwenze asondelelane.

7, 8. (a) Lithini icebiso leBhayibhile ngokwabelana ngesondo emtshatweni? (b) Kutheni kufuneka abantu abatshatileyo bathantamisane?

⁷ IBhayibhile inikela isiluleko esihle esinokunceda abantu abatshatileyo balungelelane kumba wokwabelana ngesondo. (Funda eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 7:3-5.) Kubalulekile ukucingela iimvakalelo neemfuno zalowo utshate naye. Ukuba umfazi akathantanyiswa, usenokungabi namdla ekwabelaneni ngesondo. IBhayibhile iyalela amadoda ukuba ahlale nabafazi bawo “ngokokwazi.” (1 Pet. 3:7) Ukwabelana ngesondo akumele nanini na kunyanzeliswe, kunoko kumele kuvunyelwane. Nangona indoda isenokukhawuleza ivuseleleke kunomfazi, imele imthantamise de naye akulungele ngokweemvakalelo ukwabelana nayo.

⁸ Nangona iBhayibhile ingamiseli mithetho ngeendlela zokuvuselelena ngaphambi kokwabelana ngesondo, iyathetha ngokuboniswa kothando. (INgoma 1:2; 2:6) AmaKristu atshatileyo amele athantamisane.

9. Kutheni ukuncwasa omnye umntu ongatshatanga naye kungamkelekanga?

⁹ Ukuthanda uThixo nommelwane kuya kubangela ukuba abo batshatileyo bangavumeli nabani na okanye nantoni na iphazamise umtshato wabo. Eminye imitshato iye yonakaliswa ngumkhwa wokubukela iphonografi. Simele siphephe nawuphi na umkhwa wokuthanda iphonografi, okanye wokuncwasa umntu ongatshatanga naye. Sikwamele siphephe nokubonisa izimbo zothando kumntu esingatshatanga naye, kuba oko kukungabi naluthando ngeqabane lakho. Ukukhumbula ukuba uThixo uyazazi iingcinga nezenzo zethu, kuya kusenza sifune ngamandla ukumkholisa nokuhlala sinyulu.—Funda uMateyu 5:27, 28; Hebhere 4:13.

10, 11. (a) Luxhaphake kangakanani uqhawulo-mtshato? (b) Ithini iBhayibhile ngokwahlukana? (c) Yintoni eya kunceda abantu abatshatileyo bangakhawulezi ukwahlukana?

¹⁰ Iingxaki ezinkulu nezingapheliyo emtshatweni zinokubangela ukuba abantu abatshatileyo okanye omnye wabo acinge ngokwahlukana okanye ngoqhawulo-mtshato. Kwamanye amazwe, bangaphezu kwe-50% abantu abatshatileyo abaqhawula imitshato. Lo mkhwa awuxhaphakanga ebandleni lamaKristu, kodwa kuyaxhalabisa ukubona ukwanda kweengxaki kwimitshato yabantu abakhonza uThixo.

¹¹ IBhayibhile iyalela isithi: “Umfazi ufanele angemki endodeni yakhe; kodwa ukuba okunene uyemka, makahlale engatshatanga okanye kungenjalo axolelane nendoda yakhe; yaye indoda ayifanele imshiye umfazi wayo.” (1 Kor. 7:10, 11) Ayimele ithathwe lula into yokwahlukana neqabane lomtshato. Nangona ukwahlukana kusenokubonakala njengesicombululo, kudla ngokubangela iingxaki ezingakumbi. Emva kokuba uYesu ephinde amazwi kaThixo athi indoda iya kumshiya uyise nonina ize inamathele emfazini wayo,  wathi: “Oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye makungahlukaniswa mntu.” (Mat. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) Oku kuthetha ukuba bobabini indoda nomfazi abamele ‘bakwahlukanise oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye.’ UYehova ufuna ukuba abantu abatshatileyo bahlale kunye ubomi babo bonke. (1 Kor. 7:39) Ukukhumbula ukuba baza kuphendula kuThixo, kumele kubenze bazimisele kangangoko ukuzilungisa ngokukhawuleza iingxaki, ngaphambi kokuba zibe nkulu.

12. Yintoni enokubangela umntu otshatileyo acinge ngokwahlukana?

¹² Ukulindela izinto ezingekho ngqiqweni emtshatweni kusenokuba ngoyena nobangela wengxaki. Xa ezo zinto umntu ebezilindele zingenzeki, usenokuziva enganelisekanga, eqhathiwe, de abe nenzondo. Ukuba neemvakalelo ezahlukeneyo nokungafani kweendlela abakhuliswe ngazo abo batshatileyo, kunokubangel’ ingxaki. Ezinye iingxaki zisenokubandakanya imali, abazali nokukhuliswa kwabantwana. Sekunjalo, iyancomeka into yokuba amaKristu atshatileyo akwazi ukulungisa iingxaki zomtshato kuba ekhokelwa nguThixo.

13. Ziziphi izizathu ezivakalayo zokwahlukana?

¹³ Ukwahlukana maxa wambi kunokuthetheleleka. Ukungayondli ngabom intsapho, ukuxhatshazwa okungathethekiyo emzimbeni, naxa iqabane lizama ukuphelisa ubuhlobo belinye noYehova, zezinye zezinto ezo abanye abaye bazibona njengezizathu zokwahlukana. Xa amaKristu atshatileyo eneengxaki ezinzulu amele afune uncedo kubadala. Aba bazalwana banamava banokuwanceda asebenzise isiluleko seLizwi likaThixo ebomini bawo. Xa elungisa iingxaki zomtshato, amele athandazele umoya oyingcwele kaYehova, nokuba awancede asebenzise imigaqo yeBhayibhile aze abe nesiqhamo somoya.—Gal. 5:22, 23. ^[2]

14. Ithini iBhayibhile kumaKristu atshate nabantu abangengobakhonzi bakaYehova?

¹⁴ Kwezinye iimeko, umKristu usenokuba utshate nomntu ongekabi lilo iNgqina likaYehova. Kwiimeko ezinjalo, iBhayibhile ichaza izizathu zokuba bemele baqhubeke bekunye. (Funda eyoku-1 kwabaseKorinte 7:12-14.) Nokuba umntu ongakholwayo uyakuqonda okanye akakuqondi oko, ‘uyangcwaliswa’ ngenxa yokuba etshate nomntu okholwayo. Nabantwana babo bajongwa ‘njengabangcwele,’ ibe banobuhlobo noThixo. UPawulos wathi: “Wazi njani na, wena mfazi, ukuba akuyi kuyisindisa indoda yakho? Okanye, wazi njani na, wena ndoda, ukuba akuyi kumsindisa umfazi wakho?” (1 Kor. 7:16) Phantse kuwo onke amabandla amaNgqina kaYehova kukho umKristu oye ‘wasindisa’ iqabane lakhe.

15, 16. (a) Ithini iBhayibhile kubafazi abangamaKristu abanamadoda angengabo abakhonzi bakaThixo? (b) Umele athini umKristu ukuba “lowo ungakholwayo uyemka”?

¹⁵ Umpostile uPetros wayalela abafazi abangamaKristu ukuba bazithobe kumadoda abo, “ukuze kuthi, nokuba kukho kuwo ongalithobeliyo ilizwi, azuzeke ngaphandle kwelizwi ngenxa yehambo yabafazi bawo, kuba eye angamangqina okuzibonela ehambo yenu enyulu ndawonye nentlonelo enzulu.” Xa umfazi ebonisa ‘umoya ozolileyo nowobulali, oxabiso likhulu emehlweni kaThixo,’ unamathuba angakumbi okunceda indoda yakhe iguquke, ngaphezu kokuba kunjalo xa esoloko eyishumayeza ngeenkolelo zakhe.—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

¹⁶ Kuthekani ukuba iqabane elingakholwayo likhetha ukwahlukana? IBhayibhile ithi: “Ukuba lowo ungakholwayo uyemka, makemke; xa kunjalo umzalwana okanye udade akabotshelelwanga, kodwa  uThixo unibizele eluxolweni.” (1 Kor. 7:15) Oku akuthethi kuthi iZibhalo ziyamvumela umKristu ukuba aphinde atshate, kunoko akamele azame ukunyanzela iqabane elingakholwayo ukuba lihlale. Ukwahlukana kunokuzisa isiqabu ukusa kumlinganiselo othile. UmKristu unokuba nethemba lokuba iqabane elimshiyayo liya kubuya lize likulungele ukusebenza naye ekwakheni umtshato yaye ethubeni liya kuguquka.

17. Yintoni emele ibe phambili kumaKristu atshatileyo?

¹⁷ Ekubeni singene nzulu ‘kwimihla yokugqibela,’ siphila kumaxesha “amanqam ekunzima ukujamelana nawo.” (2 Tim. 3:1-5) Ukuba sihlala sinokholo olomeleleyo, loo nto iya kuyithomalalisa impembelelo yeli hlabathi kuthi. UPawulos wabhala wathi: “Ixesha eliseleyo lifinyele. Ukususela ngoku abo banabafazi mababe njengabangenabo, . . . nabo balisebenzisayo eli hlabathi babe njengabangalisebenzisi ngokupheleleyo.” (1 Kor. 7:29-31) UPawulos wayengathi abantu mabangayihoyi imitshato yabo. Kodwa wayesithi, ngenxa yexesha elifinyeleyo, kubalulekile ukukhonza uThixo.—Mat. 6:33.

18. Kutheni inokwenzeka into yokuba amaKristu onwabe aze aphumelele emtshatweni?

¹⁸ Nangona siphila kumaxesha anzima apho imitshato ichithakala, sinako ukuyenza ibe mnandi ize iphumelele eyethu. Ngokwenene, amaKristu atshatileyo angakwazi ukukugcina “oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye,” xa esoloko ekunye nabantu bakaYehova, esebenzisa isiluleko seZibhalo, aze amkele ukhokelo lomoya oyingcwele kaYehova.—Marko 10:9.