Imibuzo Evela Kubafundi

Inkosikazi engumKristu kufanele imelane ngezinga elingakanani nesehlukaniso esifakwa umyeni wayo?

Lapho kuqala umshado wabantu, uNkulunkulu wathi indoda nomkayo kufanele ‘banamathelane.’ (Genesise 2:18-24) Abantu baba abangaphelele, okwabangela izinkinga emishadweni eminingi, kodwa isifiso sikaNkulunkulu sisewukuba abashadile banamathelane. Umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Abantu abashadile ngibanika iziyalezo, nokho kungemina kodwa iNkosi, ukuba umfazi angamuki kumyeni wakhe; kodwa uma ngempela emuka, makahlale engashadile noma aphinde abuyisane nomyeni wakhe; futhi indoda akufanele imshiye umkayo.”—1 Korinte 7:10, 11.

Lawo mazwi ayavuma ukuthi phakathi kwabantu abangaphelele ngezinye izikhathi umuntu unquma ukuhamba. Ngokwesibonelo, uPawulu wathi uma omunye ehamba, bobabili abebeshadile kwakufanele ‘bahlale bengashadile.’ Ngani? Uhambile lowo ohambile, kodwa bobabili basaqhubeka bebophekile komunye nomunye emehlweni kaNkulunkulu. UPawulu wayengakusho lokhu ngoba uJesu wayebeke indinganiso yomshado wamaKristu: “Noma ubani ohlukanisa nomkakhe, ngaphandle kwesizathu sobufebe [ngesiGreki, por·neiʹa], ashade nomunye uyaphinga.” (Mathewu 19:9) Yebo, okuwukuphela kwesisekelo sesehlukaniso esiqeda umshado ngokomBhalo ‘ubufebe,’ okungukuthi, ukuziphatha okubi kobulili. Ngokusobala endabeni uPawulu ayekhuluma ngayo, akekho kulabo ababili ababeshadile owayeziphathe kabi, ngakho lapho indoda noma inkosikazi ihamba, umshado awuphelanga emehlweni kaNkulunkulu.

UPawulu wabe esekhuluma ngesimo lapho umKristu weqiniso enomngane womshado ongakholwa. Ake ubheke iziqondiso zikaPawulu: “Uma lona ongakholwayo emuka, makamuke; umfowethu noma udade akabophekile ngaphansi kwezimo ezinjalo, kodwa uNkulunkulu unibizele ekuthuleni.” (1 Korinte 7:12-16) Yayingenzenjani inkosikazi ethembekile uma umyeni wayo eyishiya, aze afake isehlukaniso esingokomthetho?

Inkosikazi ingase ifise ukuba umyeni ahlale. Kungenzeka isamthanda, iyaziqaphela izidingo zabo bobabili ezingokomzwelo nezingokobulili futhi iyazi ukuthi yona nezingane ezisencane badinga ukusekelwa ngokwezimali. Kungenzeka futhi inethemba lokuthi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, umyeni wayo uyoba yikholwa futhi asindiswe. Nokho, uma umyeni ethatha izinyathelo zokuqeda umshado (ngesizathu esithile esingesona esingokomBhalo), inkosikazi ingamvumela “amuke,” njengoba uPawulu abhala. Kungaba okufanayo uma umyeni okholwayo engawunaki umbono kaNkulunkulu ngomshado futhi ephikelela ngokuhamba.

Nokho, esimweni esinjalo, inkosikazi kungase kudingeke izivikele yona nezingane. Kanjani? Ingase ifune ukugcina izingane zayo ezithandayo ukuze ikwazi ukuqhubeka izibonisa uthando lukamama, iziqeqeshe ngokuziphatha futhi igxilise kuzo ukholo olusekelwe ezimfundisweni ezinhle zeBhayibheli. (2 Thimothewu 3:15) Isehlukaniso singafaka amalungelo ayo engozini. Ngakho, ingase ithathe izinyathelo zokuthola ozoyimelela kahle phambi kweziphathimandla ukuze ivikele ilungelo layo lokuba nezingane zayo futhi iqiniseke ukuthi umyeni wayo ubophekile ukondla umkhaya awushiyayo. Kwezinye izindawo, owesifazane omelana nokufakwa kwesehlukaniso uyakwazi ukusayina amaphepha angokomthetho anikeza imibandela yokugcinwa kwezingane nokusekelwa ngokwezimali, kodwa engavumelani nesehlukaniso esifakwa umyeni wakhe. Kwezinye, indlela la mazwi abekwa ngayo ibonisa ukuthi uyavumelana naleso sehlukaniso; ngakho, uma umyeni enecala lokuphinga, ukusayina kwenkosikazi la maphepha kungasho ukuthi iyamlahla.

Iningi emphakathini nasebandleni ngeke liyazi imininingwane, njengokuthi isehlukaniso safakwa ngezizathu ezingokomBhalo yini. Ngakho ngaphambi kokuba izinto zize zifike lapho, kutuswa ukuba inkosikazi yazise (kungaba ngencwadi) umbonisi owengamele nomunye umdala ebandleni amaqiniso. Ngokwenza kanjalo, lawo maqiniso ayokwazi ukutholakala uma kwenzeka kuphakama noma yimuphi umbuzo—ngaleso sikhathi noma kamuva. Ake sibuyele emazwini kaJesu athi: “Noma ubani ohlukanisa nomkakhe, ngaphandle kwesizathu sobufebe, ashade nomunye uyaphinga.” Uma empeleni umyeni ayenecala lokuziphatha okubi kobulili kodwa efuna baqhubeke beshadile nomkakhe, inkosikazi (yona engenacala esibonelweni sikaJesu) kumelwe ikhethe ukuthi iyamthethelela yini futhi baqhubeke beshadile noma  iyamlahla. Uma izimisele ukumthethelela futhi baqhubeke beshadile nomyeni wayo ongokomthetho, lokho akuyenzi ibe engaziphethe kahle.—Hoseya 1:1-3; 3:1-3.

Uma kungumyeni oziphathe kabi ofuna isehlukaniso, kungenzeka inkosikazi isazimisele ukumthethelela, inethemba lokuthi uzobuya. Inkosikazi iyozinqumela, ngokusekelwe kunembeza wayo nesimo, ukuthi imelane yini nesehlukaniso esifakwa umyeni wayo. Kwezinye izindawo owesifazane omelana nokufakwa kwesehlukaniso angase akwazi ukusayina amaphepha anikeza imininingwane yokugcinwa kwezingane nokusekelwa ngokwezimali kodwa angabonisi ukuthi uyavumelana nesehlukaniso; ukusayina kwakhe amaphepha anjalo ngokwako ngeke kubonise ukuthi uyamlahla umyeni wakhe. Nokho, kwezinye izindawo inkosikazi emelana nokufakwa kwesehlukaniso ingase icelwe ukuba isayine amaphepha abonisa ukuthi iyavumelana naleso sehlukaniso; ukusayina amaphepha anjalo kungabonisa ngokucacile ukuthi iyamlahla umyeni wayo onecala.

Ukuze igweme ukuba kube khona ukungaqondi kahle, kutuswa ukuba nakulesi simo inkosikazi inikeze abameleli bebandla incwadi ebonisa izinyathelo abazithathayo kanye nezimo zengqondo ezishukumisa lezo zinyathelo. Ingase isho ukuthi yamtshela umyeni wayo ukuthi izimisele ukumthethelela futhi ibe ngumkakhe. Lokho kuyosho ukuthi isehlukaniso sitholakale ngokuphambene nesifiso sayo; kunokuba imlahle umyeni wayo, ibisazimisele ukumthethelela. Ngemva kokukwenza kucace ukuthi ibizimisele ukuthethelela futhi baqhubeke beshadile, ukusayina kwayo amaphepha abonisa nje indlela eziyosingathwa ngayo izindaba zezimali noma zokuwinwa kwabantwana ngeke kubonise ukuthi beyimlahla umyeni wayo. *

Njengoba inkosikazi isibonisile ukuthi izimisele ukuthethelela ngisho nangemva kwesehlukaniso, bobabili ngeke bakhululeke ukushada nomunye umuntu. Uma inkosikazi, yona engenacala futhi esingamukelwanga isenzo sayo sokuthethelela, kamuva inquma ukumlahla umyeni wayo ngenxa yokuziphatha kwakhe okubi, khona-ke bobabili bayokhululeka. UJesu wabonisa ukuthi umngane ongenacala unalo ilungelo lokuthatha isinqumo esinjalo.—Mathewu 5:32; 19:9; Luka 16:18.

[Umbhalo waphansi]