DOES IT REALLY WORK?

You do not need to be a mental health expert to know that having good friends can alleviate feelings of loneliness. Still, you will find it reassuring to note the following comments published in mental health publications:

• “People with close friendships and higher quality relationships experience more life satisfaction and less loneliness and depression.”​—Psychology Today.

• “Stable, healthy friendships are crucial for our well-being . . . Having social connections is one of the most reliable predictors of a long, healthy, and satisfying life.”​—Monitor on Psychology.

 “My close friend and I can talk for hours. She listens, she comforts, and she doesn’t criticize. My friend is my ‘medicine’​—she makes me feel understood, loved, and valued.”​—Azra, in Türkiye, who has experienced loneliness because of family problems.

HOW TO SUCCEED

Put yourself in a position to make friends. Reduce activities that isolate you from others, such as excessive social media use. Instead, look for opportunities to interact with others in person. Greet the people you come across throughout your day, and if possible, try to have a brief conversation.

Strengthen the relationships that you already have. As mentioned, it may be easier to draw closer to those you know rather than to start new relationships. Among the people you know, identify those who have the potential to be good friends. Ask yourself: ‘Who has qualities that I admire? Who has similar interests to mine? Whom do I like interacting with? Who genuinely cares about me?’

Reach out to others, but take it slow. Start with short conversations, perhaps on topics that you feel comfortable with. In time, you could plan a simple activity  together. Keep in mind that the other person may already have a number of friends. So be patient, and do not take it personally if it takes time to create a genuine connection.

Try to connect with others. Good friends know each other well. So to draw closer to others, ask questions that encourage them to answer with more than just a yes or no. Then, really listen. Let them sense that you care. Avoid being distracted, such as by checking your phone during a conversation. Be prepared to give of your time, even if you have a busy schedule.

“When speaking to others, I avoid negative topics and try not to talk about myself too much. Instead, I make a conscious effort to ask questions and listen carefully.”​—Norio, in Japan, who suffered from loneliness after becoming blind.

Be realistic. Not every exchange will go smoothly, and not every person you reach out to will become a close friend. So do not give up. Also, keep in mind that there is no such thing as a perfect friend.

It takes time and effort to make good friends. But it is worth it! Quality friends will bring joy into your life, helping to lessen the feelings of loneliness.