LOKHU uKari abhekana nakho, akuyona into engavamile. Ngokusho kwenhlangano esiza abagula ngengqondo e-United Kingdom, isisebenzi esisodwa kwezinhlanu eBrithani sathi ukucindezeleka kwakusenza sigule ngesikhathi sisasebenza, kanti ukusebenza ngaphansi kwengcindezi kwakubangela ukuba oyedwa kwabane azithole ekhala emsebenzini. Inani lemithi yokucindezeleka etholakala ngencwadi kadokotela, lakhula ngendlela engakaze ibonwe ngaphambili phakathi nonyaka othile wokuwohloka komnotho.

Yini eye yakwenza wacindezeleka?

• Ukungalondeki—ngokwezimali noma ngenye indlela

• Isimiso sokusebenza esimatasa

• Ukuxabana nabantu

• Isenzakalo esibuhlungu

Kuye kwakuthinta kanjani ukucindezeleka?

• Izinkinga zempilo

• Ukudangala

• Ukuqwasha

• Isifo sokucindezeleka

• Ukuwohloka kobuhlobo

 Ukucindezeleka kwenza isimiso sakho somzimba sisebenze ngendlela emangalisayo—sisabele ngokukhulu ukushesha. Sikhiqiza ama-hormone okwenza uphefumulele phezulu, inhliziyo ishaye ngamandla nomfutho wegazi uphakame. Kanti futhi, kwenza amangqamuzana egazi noshukela osemzimbeni obekugciniwe kungene emithanjeni yegazi. Ukwenzeka kwalezi zinto ngendlela ehlelekile, kukuhlomisela ukuba ukwazi ukubhekana nesimo esibangela ukucindezeleka. Uma imbangela yokucindezeleka isidlulile, umzimba wakho ungase ubuyele esimweni esivamile. Kodwa uma leyo mbangela iqhubeka, ingase ikwenze ube nexhala elingapheli noma ukukhathazeka, kuhle kwemoto edumayo kodwa ingahambi. Ngakho ukufunda indlela yokubhekana nokucindezeleka kubalulekile, kokubili empilweni yakho engokomzimba neyengqondo.

Ukucindezeleka ngokwako akulimazi. Nakhu okwaphawulwa yi-American Psychological Association: “Ukucindezeleka kumuntu kungafana nalokho okwenzekayo lapho kudlalwa umculo wevayolini: uma ukhalela phansi kakhulu awuthandeki futhi uyahoshoza; kanti uma uphezulu kakhulu uyaklabalasa futhi uhlabe ezindlebeni. Ukucindezeleka kungabangela ukufa noma kwenze ukuphila kuthakazelise. Empeleni, iphuzu liwukuthi, ubhekana kanjani nakho.”

Okunye okudinga ukucatshangelwa, ukuthi imizwelo yabantu kuhlanganise nezinga nje labo lempilo, akufani. Ngakho, into eyenza omunye acindezeleke ingase ingamcindezeli omunye. Noma kunjalo, kungenzeka ucindezeleke kakhulu uma imisebenzi yakho evamile ikwenza ungalitholi ithuba lokuphumula noma lokubhekana nezimo eziphuthumayo ezingase zivele.

Ukuze “babhekane” nokucindezeleka okungapheli, abanye abantu baphendukela ophuzweni oludakayo, ekusebenziseni izidakamizwa noma ugwayi. Abanye baqala ukuba nemikhuba yokudla engemihle noma bagqolozele ithelevishini noma i-computer—okuyimikhuba engayixazululi ngempela inkinga eyimbangela yokucindezeleka, kodwa empeleni engase iyenze ibe yimbi nakakhulu. Khona-ke, singabhekana kanjani nokucindezeleka ngendlela ephumelelayo?

Abantu abaningi baye bakwazi ukubhekana nokucindezeleka ekuphileni kwabo ngokusebenzisa iseluleko esitholakala eBhayibhelini. Ingabe ukuhlakanipha kwalo osekusize abaningi kungakusiza? Cabangela lo mbuzo, unombono wezinto ezine ezibangela ukucindezeleka.

 1 UKUNGALONDEKI

Akekho noyedwa phakathi kwethu olondeke ngokuphelele. Njengoba iBhayibheli lisho, “isikhathi nesenzakalo esingalindelekile sibehlela bonke.” (UmShumayeli 9:11) Ungabhekana kanjani nemizwa yokungalondeki? Zama la macebiso.

• Thulula isifuba sakho elungwini lomkhaya olethembayo noma umngane. Ucwaningo lubonisa ukuthi ukusekelwa umuntu omthandayo kuhlale kuyisivikelo ekuphazamisekeni okuhlobene nokucindezeleka. Yebo, “umngane weqiniso ubonisa uthando ngaso sonke isikhathi, futhi ungumfowabo womuntu ozalelwe isikhathi sosizi.”—IzAga 17:17.

• Musa ukuqhubeka ugxile ezenzakalweni ezimbi. Imicabango enjalo isishiya sidangele kakhulu ngokomzwelo. Kungenzeka nokuthi izinto owesaba ukuthi zingase zenzeke, zingenzeki! Kungesizathu esihle-ke ukuthi iBhayibheli lithi: “Ningalokothi nikhathazeke ngosuku olulandelayo, ngoba usuku olulandelayo luyoba nezalo izinkathazo.”—Mathewu 6:34.

• Thembela emandleni omthandazo. Eyoku-1 Petru 5:7 ithi, ‘Phonsani zonke izinkathazo zenu phezu kukaNkulunkulu, ngoba uyanikhathalela.’ UNkulunkulu ubonisa ukusikhathalela ngokusinikeza ukuthula kwangaphakathi nangokusiqinisekisa ukuthi ‘akasoze abashiya’ labo abaphendukela kuye ngobuqotho, ukuze bathole induduzo nokusekelwa lapho bekudinga.—Hebheru 13:5; Filipi 4:6, 7.

2 ISIMISO SOMSEBENZI ESIMATASA

Isimiso esimatasa sokuya nokubuya emsebenzini, ukufunda noma ukunakekela izingane noma abazali asebekhulile, kungase kwenyuse izinga lokucindezeleka. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ukuyeka eminye yale misebenzi kungase kungenzeki. (1 Thimothewu 5:8) Khona-ke, yini ongayenza ukuze ubhekane nalezi zimo?

• Zama ukuzinika isikhathi sokuphumula, futhi uphumule ngokwanele. IBhayibheli lithi: “Kungcono ukuphumula okuncane kunomsebenzi onzima omningi nokulwela ukufica umoya.”—UmShumayeli 4:6.

• Beka izinto ezibalulekile kuqala futhi uphile ukuphila okulula. (Filipi 1:10) Mhlawumbe unganciphisa izindleko zokuphila noma isikhathi osichitha emsebenzini ukuze wenze ukuphila kwakho kube lula.—Luka 21:34, 35.

UKari okukhulunywe ngaye ekuqaleni, waphinde wahlola indlela yakhe yokuphila. Wabhala: “Ngaqaphela ukuthi ngangiphishekela indlela yokuphila yobugovu.” Wathengisa ibhizinisi lakhe, wayesefuna umsebenzi owawuzomnika isikhathi esengeziwe sokuba sekhaya. Uyavuma: “Izinga lethu lokuphila liye lehla kancane, kodwa mina nomkami asisahlali sicindezelekile futhi sichitha isikhathi esengeziwe nomndeni nabangane. Ukuthula kwangaphakathi enginakho manje anginakukuqhathanisa nanoma yiziphi izinzuzo engingazithola ngebhizinisi.”

 3 UKUXABANA NABANTU

Ukuxabana nabanye, ikakhulukazi emsebenzini kungabangela ukucindezeleka okukhulu. Uma ubhekene naleyo nkinga, ziningi izinto ezingakusiza.

• Lapho othile ekucasula, zama ukwehlisa umoya. Ungatheli uphalafini emlilweni. IzAga 15:1 zithi: “Impendulo, lapho imnene, iyakunqanda ukufutheka, kodwa izwi elibangela ubuhlungu lenyusa intukuthelo.”

• Zama ukulungisa izingxabano ngasese futhi ngenhlonipho, ngaleyo ndlela ubonisa inhlonipho ngomunye umuntu.—Mathewu 5:23-25.

• Zama ukuqonda imizwa noma imibono yakhe. Ukuqonda okunjalo “kubambezela intukuthelo [yethu]” ngoba kwenza sibone izinto ngendlela nomunye azibheka ngayo. (IzAga 19:11) Kungasisiza nokuba sizibheke ngendlela abanye abasibheka ngayo.

• Zama ukuthethelela. Ukuthethelela akuyona nje into elungile kuphela, kodwa futhi kuyelapha. Njengoba kuboniswa umbiko wocwaningo olwenziwa ngo-2001, “ukungathetheleli” kunganezela “ekuphakameni kakhulu” komfutho wegazi nasekushayeni okubi kakhulu kwenhliziyo, kuyilapho isimo sengqondo sokuthethelela sehlisa ukucindezeleka.—Kolose 3:13.

4 IZENZAKALO EZIBUHLUNGU

UNieng ohlala eCambodia, wehlelwa izigameko eziningi ezibuhlungu zilandelana. Ngo-1974, walimala lapho kuqhuma ibhomu elalicushwe esikhumulweni sezindiza. Ngonyaka olandelayo, izingane zakhe ezimbili, unina kanye nomyeni wakhe bashona. Ngonyaka ka-2000, umuzi wakhe nakho konke okwakukuwo, kwangqongqiswa umlilo, eminyakeni emithathu kamuva, umyeni wakhe wesibili naye washona. Phakathi naleso sikhathi, wavele wafuna ukuzibulala.

Noma kunjalo, uNieng wayithola indlela yokubhekana nesimo. NjengoKari, uNieng wafunda iBhayibheli futhi lokho ayekufunda kwamzuzisa kakhulu, kangangokuba naye wachitha isikhathi sakhe esiza abanye ukuze nabo bathole injabulo ayesenayo. Indaba yakhe isikhumbuza ngocwaningo lwango-2008 olwenziwa abacwaningi baseBrithani. Bathola ukuthi enye yezindlela ‘zokubhekana nokucindezeleka, kwakuwukupha abanye’—okuyiseluleko osekuyisikhathi eside iBhayibheli lisinikeza.—IzEnzo 20:35.

UNieng wazuza nethemba eliqinisekile lekusasa elingcono, okuyithemba lokuthi zonke izinkinga ezihlupha isintu zizodlula. Kunalokho, ‘kuyochichima ukuthula’ kuwo wonke umhlaba.—IHubo 72:7, 8.

Ithemba langempela nokuhlakanipha kokuthi ungabhekana kanjani nezingcindezi eziningi zokuphila, zombili lezi zinto ziyigugu kakhulu, kanti futhi zombili ungazithola eBhayibhelini. Kunezigidi eseziye zazuza kakade kule ncwadi emangalisayo neyingqayizivele. Nawe futhi ungazuza.