“Ngaphandle kokuba uJehova ngokwakhe eyakha indlu, akusizi ngalutho ukuthi abakhi bayo basebenzé kanzima kuyo.”—IHU. 127:1a.

1-3. Iziphi izinselele imibhangqwana eshadile ebhekana nazo? (Bheka isithombe esisekuqaleni.)

INDODA osekuyiminyaka engu-38 ijabule emshadweni wayo ithi: “Uma nizikhandla ngobuqotho futhi nibonisa ukuthi nifuna ukuba umshado wenu uphumelele, uJehova uyanibusisa.” Yebo, amadoda nabafazi bangajabulela izikhathi ezimnandi futhi basekelane ezikhathini ezinzima.—IzAga 18:22.

2 Nokho, akuyona into engavamile ukuba imibhangqwana ibhekane “nosizi enyameni.” (1 Kor. 7:28) Kungani? Ukubhekana nezinkathazo zokuphila kwansuku zonke kukodwa kungawucindezela umshado. Ngisho nasemishadweni engcono kakhulu kuyenzeka kube khona ukulimazana, ukuqondana kabi nokungakhulumisani kahle ngenxa yolimi lwethu olungaphelele. (Jak. 3:2, 5, 8) Imibhangqwana eminingi ibhekene nanobunzima bemisebenzi yokuziphilisa ekhandlayo ibe inakekela abantwana. Ukucindezeleka nokukhathala kwenza kube nzima ngeminye imibhangqwana ukuzinika isikhathi esidingekayo ukuze iqinise imishado yayo. Izinkinga zezimali, zempilo noma ezinye zingaluqeda kancane kancane uthando nokuhloniphana. Ngaphezu kwalokho, isisekelo somshado obonakala uqinile singenziwa buthaka “imisebenzi yenyama,” enjengobufebe,  ukuziphatha okuxekethile, ubutha, ukuxabana, umhawu, isifuthefuthe sentukuthelo nemibango.—Gal. 5:19-21.

3 Okwenza isimo sibe sibi nakakhulu ukuthi kulezi ‘zinsuku zokugcina’ kudlange izimo zengqondo zobugovu nezokungamesabi uNkulunkulu eziyingozi emshadweni. (2 Thim. 3:1-4) Okokugcina, kunesitha esinonya esiyihlasela njalo imishado. Umphostoli uPetru uyasixwayisa: “Isitha senu, uDeveli, sihambahamba njengengonyama ebhongayo, efuna engamshwabadela.”—1 Pet. 5:8; IsAm. 12:12.

4. Kungenzeka kanjani ukuba nomshado oqinile nojabulisayo?

4 Indoda eshadile eJapane iyavuma: “Ngangicindezeleke kakhulu ngokwezimali. Ngenxa yokuthi ngangingaxoxi ngempela nomkami, naye wacindezeleka kakhulu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, muva nje ube nezinkinga ezinkulu zempilo. Ngezinye izikhathi, lokhu kucindezeleka kwakusenza sixabane.” Izinselele ezithile emshadweni azinakugwenywa, kodwa zingaxazululeka. Ngosizo lukaJehova, imibhangqwana ingaba nemishado eqinile nejabulisayo. (Funda iHubo 127:1.) Ake sixoxe ngezici ezinhlanu ezingokomoya zokwakha umshado oqinile nohlala njalo. Kamuva sizoxoxa ngendlela uthando olungaziqinisa ngayo lezi zici.

FAKANI UJEHOVA EMSHADWENI WENU

5, 6. Amadoda nabafazi bangenzani ukuze bafake uJehova emishadweni yabo?

5 Isisekelo somshado oqinile siwukwethembeka nokuzithoba kuLowo owasungula umshado. (Funda umShumayeli 4:12.) Amadoda nabafazi bangafaka uJehova emishadweni yabo ngokulandela isiqondiso sakhe sothando. IBhayibheli lithi ngabantu bakaNkulunkulu basendulo: “Izindlebe zakho ziyozwa izwi ngemva kwakho lithi: ‘Nansi indlela. Hambani ngayo,’ uma kwenzeka niya ngakwesokunene noma niya ngakwesobunxele.” (Isaya 30:20, 21) Namuhla, imibhangqwana ‘ingezwa’ izwi likaJehova ngokufunda iZwi lakhe ndawonye. (IHu. 1:1-3) Ingayiqinisa ngokwengeziwe imishado yayo ngokuba nesimiso sokuKhulekela Komkhaya esijabulisayo nesiqabulayo ngokomoya. Ukuthandaza ndawonye nsuku zonke nakho kubaluleke kakhulu ekwakheni umshado ongamelana nokuhlasela kwezwe likaSathane.

Lapho yenza izinto ezingokomoya ndawonye, imibhangqwana isondelana kakhulu noNkulunkulu nanomunye nomunye futhi ijabule (Bheka izigaba 5, 6)

6 UGerhard waseJalimane uthi: “Noma nini lapho injabulo yethu ifiphazwe ubunzima esibhekene nabo noma ukuqondana kabi, iseluleko esivela eZwini likaNkulunkulu siye sasisiza ukuba sihlakulele ukubekezela futhi sithethelele. Azive zidingeka lezi zimfanelo ukuze umshado uphumelele.” Lapho imibhangqwana izikhandla ekuqinisekiseni ukuthi uNkulunkulu ukhona emishadweni yayo ngokwenza imisebenzi engokomoya ndawonye, isondelana kakhulu noNkulunkulu nanomunye nomunye futhi ijabule.

MADODA—SEBENZISANI UBUNHLOKO NGOTHANDO

7. Amadoda kufanele abusebenzise kanjani ubunhloko bawo?

7 Indlela indoda esebenzisa ngayo ubunhloko bayo ingenza lukhulu ekwakheni umshado oqinile nojabulisayo. IBhayibheli lithi: “Inhloko yawo wonke amadoda nguKristu; nenhloko yowesifazane yindoda.” (1 Kor. 11:3) Umongo okuthathwe kuwo la mazwi utshela amadoda indlela okufanele abusebenzise ngayo ubunhloko bawo—ngendlela noKristu asebenzisa ngayo igunya lakhe phezu kwendoda. UJesu akazange nanini abe umashiqela noma abe nokhahlo kodwa wayehlale enothando, enomusa, ecabangela, enomoya omnene futhi ethobekile ngenhliziyo.—Math. 11:28-30.

8. Indoda ingaluzuza kanjani uthando nenhlonipho yomkayo?

 8 Amadoda angamaKristu akudingeki ukuba alokhu etshela omkawo ukuba bawahloniphe. Kunalokho, ‘aqhubeka ehlala nabo ngokolwazi’ ebacabangela futhi ebaqonda. ‘Ayabazisa njengesitsha esibuthakathaka kakhudlwana, isifazane.’ (1 Pet. 3:7) Phambi kwabantu nalapho bebodwa, amadoda abonisa ngamazwi enhlonipho nangezenzo zokucabangela ukuthi omkawo bayigugu kuwo. (IzAga 31:28) Ukusebenzisa ubunhloko ngendlela enjalo yothando kungenza omkawo bawathande futhi bawahloniphe, kwenze noNkulunkulu awubusise umshado.

BAFAZI—BONISANI UKUZITHOBA

9. Umfazi angakubonisa kanjani ukuzithoba?

9 Ukuba nothando olungenabugovu nolusekelwe ezimisweni ngoJehova kusisiza sonke ukuba sizithobe ngaphansi kwesandla sakhe esinamandla. (1 Pet. 5:6) Enye indlela ebalulekile umfazi ozithobayo abonisa ngayo ukuthi uyalihlonipha igunya likaJehova iwukuba abambisane nomyeni wakhe futhi amsekele. IBhayibheli lithi: “Nina bafazi, zithobeni kubayeni benu, ngoba kuyafaneleka eNkosini.” (Kol. 3:18) Iqiniso liwukuthi umfazi ngeke azithande zonke izinqumo zomyeni wakhe. Nokho, uma izinqumo zomyeni zingangqubuzani nemithetho kaNkulunkulu, umfazi ozithobayo uyakujabulela ukuhoxa.—1 Pet. 3:1.

10. Kungani kubalulekile ukuzithoba ngothando?

10 Umfazi unendima ehloniphekile yokuba ‘umngane’ womyeni wakhe. (Mal. 2:14) Uba neqhaza elibalulekile ezinqumweni zabo ngokuveza imicabango nemizwa yakhe ngenhlonipho ebe engayeki ukuzithoba. Indoda ehlakaniphile iyowalalelisisa amazwi omkayo. (IzAga 31:10-31) Ukuzithoba ngothando kuthuthukisa injabulo, ukuthula nokuzwana ekhaya futhi kwenze amadoda nabafazi babe nomuzwa wokwaneliseka ngokwazi ukuthi bathokozisa uNkulunkulu.—Efe. 5:22.

 QHUBEKANI NITHETHELELANA NGOKUKHULULEKILE

11. Kungani kubalulekile ukuthethelela?

11 Esinye sezici ezibaluleke kakhulu zokwakha umshado ohlala njalo ukuthethelela. Isibopho somshado siyaqina lapho amadoda nabafazi ‘beqhubeka bebekezelelana futhi bethethelelana ngokukhululekile.’ (Kol. 3:13) Ngakolunye uhlangothi, umshado uba buthaka lapho umbhangqwana ubamba amagqubu futhi uwavusa njalo lapho kuxatshenwe. Njengoba nje izimfa zingenza isakhiwo sibe buthaka, amagqubu nokucasuka kungakhela ezinhliziyweni zethu, kwenze kube nzima nakakhulu ukuthethelela. Ngokuphambene, lapho indoda nomfazi bethethelelana ngendlela uJehova abathethelela ngayo, isibopho somshado siyaqina.—Mika 7:18, 19.

12. Uthando luzemboza kanjani “izono eziningi”?

12 Uthando lweqiniso “alunamagqubu.” Eqinisweni, “uthando lumboza izono eziningi.” (1 Kor. 13:4, 5; funda eyoku-1 Petru 4:8.) Ngamanye amazwi, uthando alunamkhawulo wezono esingazithethelela. Lapho umphostoli uPetru ebuza ukuthi kwakufanele amthethelele kangaki umuntu, uJesu wamphendula: “Kuze kube izikhathi ezingamashumi ayisikhombisa nesikhombisa.” (Math. 18:21, 22) Wayebonisa ukuthi ukuthethelela abanye akunamkhawulo kumKristu.—IzAga 10:12. *

13. Singalwa kanjani nokuthambekela kokungathetheleli?

13 U-Annette uthi: “Uma umbhangqwana ungafuni ukuthethelela, intukuthelo nokungathembani kuyakhula, futhi lokho kuwushevu emshadweni. Ukuthethelelana kuyawuqinisa umshado futhi kunenza nisondelane kakhulu.” Ukuze ulwe nokuthambekela kokungathetheleli, lwela ukuba nomoya wokubonga nokwazisa. Zijwayeze ukumncoma ngobuqotho umuntu oshade naye. (Kol. 3:15) Yiba nokuthula kwengqondo, ubunye nezibusiso zikaNkulunkulu okutholwa yilabo abanomoya wokuthethelela.—Roma 14:19.

SEBENZISANI UMTHETHO WEGOLIDE

14, 15. Uyini uMthetho Wegolide, futhi uwusizo kanjani emshadweni?

14 Akungabazeki ukuthi uthanda ukuphathwa ngesithunzi nangenhlonipho. Uyakwazisa lapho imicabango nemizwa yakho inakwa. Kodwa, wake wamuzwa yini umuntu ethi, “Ngizomzwisa ubuhlungu angizwise bona”? Nakuba ukusabela ngale ndlela kungase ngezinye izikhathi kuqondakale, iBhayibheli lisitshela lokhu: “Ungasho ukuthi: ‘Njengoba nje enzile kimi, nami ngizokwenza kanjalo kuye.’” (IzAga 24:29) Eqinisweni, uJesu watusa indlela engcono nakakhulu yokusingatha izimo ezinzima. Umyalo wokuziphatha awutusa waziwa kakhulu kangangokuthi uvame ukubizwa ngokuthi uMthetho Wegolide. Uthi: “Leyo ndlela enifuna abantu benze ngayo kini, yenzani kanjalo nani kubo.” (Luka 6:31) UJesu wayesho ukuthi kufanele siphathe abantu ngendlela esingathanda ukuphathwa ngayo, singabuyiseli unya ngonya. Lokhu kusho ukuthi kudingeka sinikele emshadweni wethu ngalokho esingathanda ukukubona.

15 Lapho abantu abashadile beyicabangela imizwa yomunye nomunye, ubuhlobo babo buyaqina. Indoda eshadile yaseNingizimu Afrika ithi: “Siye sazama  ukusebenzisa uMthetho Wegolide. Yiqiniso, zikhona izikhathi lapho siye sithukuthele, kodwa siye sizame kanzima ukuphathana ngendlela esingathanda ukuphathwa ngayo—ngenhlonipho nangesithunzi.”

16. Yini abantu abashadile okungafanele bayenze komunye nomunye?

16 Ungadaluli ukushiyeka komuntu oshade naye noma umbelesele ngemikhutshana yakhe engathandeki—ngisho nalapho uncokola. Khumbula ukuthi emshadweni akufanele nanini kuncintiswane ngokuthi ubani onamandla kakhulu, okwazi ukuklabalasa kakhulu noma okwazi ukusho amazwi ahlaba kakhulu kunomunye. Yiqiniso, sonke sinamaphutha futhi ngezinye izikhathi siyabacasula abanye. Kodwa asikho neze isizathu esithethelelekayo sokuba indoda noma umfazi asebenzise inkulumo ebhuqayo nelulazayo, noma okubi nakakhulu asunduze noma ashaye omunye.—Funda izAga 17:27; 31:26.

17. Amadoda angawusebenzisa kanjani uMthetho Wegolide?

17 Ngisho noma kwamanye amasiko amadoda ahlukumeza omkawo noma abashaye ebhekwa njengamadoda angempela, iBhayibheli lithi: “Owephuza ukuthukuthela ungcono kunendoda enamandla, nolawula umoya wakhe ungcono kunothumba umuzi.” (IzAga 16:32) Kudinga isibindi esikhulu ukulingisa umuntu omkhulu kunabo bonke abake baphila, uJesu Kristu, nokulawula umoya wakho. Indoda ethuka noma eshaya umkayo ayiyona neze indoda yangempela, futhi iyolahlekelwa ubuhlobo bayo noJehova. Umhubi uDavide, owayenamandla futhi enesibindi, wathi: “Thukuthelani, kodwa ningoni. Khulumani ngenhliziyo, phezu kombhede wenu, kodwa nithule.”—IHu. 4:4.

“GQOKANI UTHANDO”

18. Kungani kubalulekile ukuqhubeka sihlakulela imfanelo yothando?

18 Funda eyoku-1 Korinte 13:4-7. Uthando luyimfanelo ebaluleke kakhulu emshadweni. “Gqokani uthando lomzwelo, umusa, ukuthobeka, ubumnene, nokubekezela. Kodwa, ngaphezu kwazo zonke lezi zinto, gqokani uthando, ngoba luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.” (Kol. 3:12, 14) Izici ezakha umshado oqinile zihlanganiswa uthando lokuzidela olunjengolukaKristu. Lwenza umshado uqine naphezu kwamaphutha obuntu acasulayo, izinkinga zempilo ezinkulu, izinkinga zezimali ezicindezelayo nezinkinga ezihilela abasemzini noma abasekhweni.

19, 20. (a) Imibhangqwana ingayakha kanjani imishado eqinile nejabulisayo? (b) Sizoxoxa ngani esihlokweni esilandelayo?

19 Yiqiniso, ukuze umshado uphumelele kudingeka ukuzinikela ngothando, ukuzibophezela okuqotho nokuzikhandla ngempela. Kunokuba bahlukane lapho kuvela ubunzima, abantu abashadile kufanele bazimisele ukwenza umshado wabo ujabulise—kungabi nje ukuhlala ndawonye. Imibhangqwana yamaKristu ezinikele kuJehova nakomunye nomunye ishukunyiswa uthando lwayo ngoNkulunkulu nangomunye nomunye ukuba ilungise ukungezwani kwayo, ngoba “uthando alusoze lwaphela nanini.”—1 Kor. 13:8; Math. 19:5, 6; Heb. 13:4.

20 Ukwakha umshado oqinile nojabulisayo kuyinselele ikakhulu kulezi “zikhathi ezibucayi” esiphila kuzo. (2 Thim. 3:1) Kodwa kungenzeka ngosizo lukaJehova. Noma kunjalo, imibhangqwana kudingeka ilwe nokuwohloka kwesimilo okudlangile ezweni. Esihlokweni esilandelayo sizoxoxa ngalokho amadoda nabafazi abangakwenza ukuze baqinise izici ezingokomoya ezivikela umshado wabo.

^ isig. 12 Nakuba imibhangqwana izama ukuthethelela nokulungisa izingxabano zayo, iBhayibheli linikeza umngane womshado ongenacala igunya lokunquma ukuthethelela noma ukuhlukanisa nomngane wakhe ophingile. (Math. 19:9) Bheka isihloko esithi “Umbono WeBhayibheli: Ukuphinga—Ingabe Kufanele Uthethelele Noma Ungathetheleli?” kuyi-Phaphama! ka-August 8, 1995.