INKINGA

Abantu abaningi abashadile bavame ukuba nezinkinga eziningi lapho izingane sezikhulile futhi sezihambile ekhaya. Lapho sebesele bodwa, bangase babe nomuzwa wokuthi abazani nhlobo. U-M. Gary Neuman oyisazi sezemindeni uthi, “Ngeluleka abantu abaningi abashadile abangazi ukuthi bangalivala kanjani igebe elivuleka phakathi kwabo lapho izingane sezihambile ekhaya. Uma izingane sezihambile [abazali] basuke bengasazi ukuthi yini abangaxoxa ngayo.” *

Unjalo yini nowakho umshado? Uma kunjalo, ungalilahli ithemba, kusengalunga. Okokuqala, cabanga ukuthi yiziphi izinto okungenzeka zivulé lelo gebe phakathi kwenu.

IMBANGELA

Bekulokhu kuyizingane ezibalulekile ekuphileni kwenu. Behlose okuhle, abazali abaningi banaka kakhulu izingane zabo kunomuntu abashade naye. Lokho kwenza ukuthi bagxile ekubeni abazali bakhohlwe ukuthi nabo bayathandana, okuyinto evele ihlale obala lapho izingane sezihambile. Owesifazane oshadile oneminyaka engu-59 uthi, “Lapho kusekhona izingane, izinto sasizenza ndawonye. Kodwa lapho izingane sezihambile saphenduka impumalanga nentshonalanga.” Wake wathi kumyeni wakhe, “Ngibona sengathi asisafanelene.”

Abanye abantu abashadile abafuni ukwamukela ukuthi izinto sezishintshile. Incwadi ethi Empty Nesting ithi, “Abaningi kuba sengathi bashade nomuntu abangamazi. Baba nomuzwa wokuthi abasafanelani, bakhethe ukwenza izinto ngabodwa njengabantu abangashadile.”

Nazi izindaba ezinhle: Ningakwazi ukugwema izinkinga, nijabulele le mpilo entsha. IBhayibheli linganisiza. Ake sibone ukuthi kanjani.

 ENINGAKWENZA

Yamukelani isimo. IBhayibheli lisho lokhu ngezingane esezindala: “Indoda iyoshiya uyise nonina.” (Genesise 2:24) Umgomo wenu njengabazali bekuwukuqeqesha izingane zenu ukuze nizisize zibe namakhono ezizowadinga lapho sezindala. Uma nicabanga ngalokho, nizobona ukuthi kufanele niziqhenye uma izingane zenu sezihamba ziba nemizi yazo.—Okufundiswa iBhayibheli: Marku 10:7.

Kuyiqiniso ukuthi uyohlale ungumzali enganeni yakho. Nokho, ngeke usahlala uzigadile nakuba zizosidinga iseluleko sakho ngezikhathi ezithile. Lokhu kuyokwenza uqhubeke unobuhlobo nezingane zakho kodwa usondelane kakhulu nowakwakho. *Okufundiswa iBhayibheli: Mathewu 19:6.

Ungafeli ngaphakathi. Mtshele oshade naye ukuthi uzizwa kanjani ngalolu shintsho futhi ulalele njengoba naye ekutshela ukuthi uzizwa kanjani. Yiba nesineke nozwela. Kungase kuthathe isikhathi ukubuyisa loluya thando enaninalo ekuqaleni kodwa imizamo yenu ngeke ifane nokuthela amanzi emhlane wedada.—Okushiwo iBhayibheli: 1 Korinte 13:4.

Tholani izinto ezintsha eningazenza ndawonye. Khulumani ngemigomo eningathanda ukuyifinyelela nobabili noma izinto eningathanda ukuzenza ndawonye. Ukukhulisa abantwana kunifundise lukhulu. Sebenzisani lokho enikufundile ukuze nisize abanye.—Okushiwo iBhayibheli: Jobe 12:12.

Vuselelani uthando lwenu. Cabangani ngalokho okwanenza nathandana. Cabangani nangamagquma namathafa esenidlule kuwo. Mhlawumbe lolu shintsho olwenzeka ekuphileni kwenu nizolujabulela kakhulu. Eqinisweni, uma nibambisene ningakwazi ukuqinisa umshado wenu futhi nivuselele uthando enaninalo ekuqaleni.

^ isig. 4 Kuthathwe encwadini ethi Emotional Infidelity.

^ isig. 12 Uma usakhulisa izingane khumbula ukuthi ‘ninyamanye’ nowakwakho. (Marku 10:8) Izingane zizizwa zilondeke nakakhulu uma umshado wabazali bazo uqinile.