Dlulela kokuphakathi

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Ukwenza Umshado WomKristu Uphumelele

Ukwenza Umshado WomKristu Uphumelele

“Yilowo nalowo kini makamthande kanjalo umkakhe njengoba ezithanda yena; . . . umfazi kufanele abe nenhlonipho ejulile ngomyeni wakhe.”—EFE. 5:33.

IZINGOMA: 87, 3

1. Nakuba ngokuvamile umshado uqala ngenjabulo, yini engalindelwa yilabo abashadayo? (Bheka isithombe esisekuqaleni.)

LAPHO umkhwenyana obukeka kahle ebona umakoti wakhe omuhle ngosuku lwabo lomshado, sivele siswele amazwi okuchaza injabulo yabo. Ngesikhathi besaqomisana, uthando lwabo luye lwakhula lwabenza bakulungela ukwenza izifungo zokwethembeka komunye nomunye emshadweni. Kuyiqiniso ukuthi kudingeka laba ababili bahlele ukuphila kwabo kabusha njengoba beba munye futhi kwakheka ikhaya elisha. IZwi likaNkulunkulu linikeza bonke abakhetha ukushada iseluleko esihlakaniphile, ngoba uMsunguli womshado onothando ufuna yonke imibhangqwana iphumelele futhi ijabule emishadweni yayo. (IzAga 18:22) Nokho, imiBhalo isitshela ngokucacile ukuthi abantu abangaphelele abashadayo “bayoba nosizi enyameni yabo.” (1 Kor. 7:28) Lolu sizi lungancishiswa kanjani? Yini eyokwenza umshado womKristu uphumelele?

2. Yiziphi izinhlobo zothando okufanele ziboniswe imibhangqwana?

2 IBhayibheli ligcizelela ukubaluleka kothando. Ukusondelana ngokomzwelo (ngesiGreki, phi·liʹa) kuyadingeka emshadweni.  Uthando lwezithandani (eʹros) luletha injabulo enkulu, kanti uthando lomndeni (stor·geʹ) lubalulekile uma kunezingane ekhaya. Nokho, uthando olusekelwe esimisweni (a·gaʹpe) oluqinisekisa ukuthi umshado uyaphumelela. Ngokuphathelene nothando, umphostoli uPawulu wabhala: “Yilowo nalowo kini makamthande kanjalo umkakhe njengoba ezithanda yena; ngakolunye uhlangothi, umfazi kufanele abe nenhlonipho ejulile ngomyeni wakhe.”—Efe. 5:33.

UKUHLOLA NGOKUSEDUZE INDIMA YOMUNTU NGAMUNYE EMSHADWENI

3. Uthando kumelwe lujule kangakanani emshadweni?

3 UPawulu wabhala: “Madoda, qhubekani nithanda omkenu, njengoba nje noKristu alithanda ibandla futhi wazinikela ngenxa yalo.” (Efe. 5:25) Ukulingisa isibonelo sikaJesu kudinga ukuba abalandeli bakhe bathandane njengoba nje naye ebathanda. (Funda uJohane 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Ngakho, uthando oluboniswa amaKristu ashadile kumelwe lujule kakhulu, lwenze umKristu azimisele ukufela umuntu ashade naye uma kuvela isidingo. Lokho kungase kube yinto yokugcina ongayenzela oshade naye uma kuphakama impikiswano enkulu. Noma kunjalo, uthando i-a·gaʹpe “lubekezelela zonke izinto, lukholelwa yizo zonke izinto, luthemba zonke izinto, lukhuthazelela zonke izinto.” Yebo, “uthando alusoze lwaphela.” (1 Kor. 13:7, 8) Ukukhumbula isifungo sayo sokuthandana nokwethembeka komunye nomunye kuyosiza imibhangqwana esaba uNkulunkulu ukuba isebenzise izimiso zikaJehova eziphakeme ukuze ixazulule noma yiziphi izinkinga ezingase zivele.

4, 5. (a) Uyini umthwalo womyeni njengenhloko yekhaya? (b) Inkosikazi kufanele ibubheke kanjani ubunhloko? (c) Yiluphi ushintsho umbhangqwana othile okwadingeka ulwenze?

4 Egxila kulokho okumelwe kwenziwe yilungu ngalinye emshadweni, uPawulu wabhala: “Abafazi mabazithobe kubayeni babo njengokungathi bazithoba eNkosini, ngoba indoda iyinhloko yomkayo njengoba noKristu eyinhloko yebandla, yena engumsindisi walo mzimba.” (Efe. 5:22, 23) Leli lungiselelo alenzi indoda ibe ngcono kunenkosikazi. Empeleni lisiza inkosikazi ikwazi ukufeza indima uNkulunkulu ayeyihlosele amakhosikazi lapho ethi: “Akukuhle ukuba umuntu [u-Adamu] ahlale yedwa. Ngizomenzela umsizi, abe umphelelisi wakhe.” (Gen. 2:18) Njengoba uKristu “inhloko yebandla” ebonisa uthando, indoda engumKristu kumelwe ihole ngothando. Uma yenza kanjalo, umkayo uzizwa evikelekile futhi uthola ukwaneliseka ekuhlonipheni, ekusekeleni nasekuzithobeni kuyo.

5 Evuma ukuthi emshadweni kudingeka ukuba kushintshwe izinto ezithile, uCathy [1] uthi: “Njengodade ongashadile, ngangizimele futhi ngizinakekela. Ukushada kwasho ushintsho kimi njengoba ngangifunda ukuncika kumyeni wami. Kwakungelula, kodwa siye sasondelana kakhulu njengombhangqwana ngokwenza izinto ngendlela kaJehova.” Umyeni wakhe uFred uthi: “Ukwenza izinqumo akukaze kube lula. Emshadweni, ukwenzela abantu ababili izinqumo kuba yinselele nakakhulu. Kodwa ukufuna isiqondiso sikaJehova ngomthandazo nokulalelisisa lokho okushiwo umkami kwenza izinto zibe lula usuku nosuku. Nginomuzwa wokuthi sibambisene ngempela!”

6. Uthando “luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye” ngayiphi indlela lapho kuphakama izinkinga emshadweni?

6 Umshado oqinile wakhiwa abantu ababili abazama ukuqonda ubuthakathaka bomunye nomunye. ‘Bayaqhubeka bebekezelelana futhi bethethelelana ngokukhululekile.’ Yebo, bobabili bazowenza amaphutha. Nokho, uma lokho kwenzeka, kuyovula amathuba okufunda kula maphutha, okuthethelelana nokuvumela uthando  lubabuse ‘njengesibopho esiphelele sobunye.’ (Kol. 3:13, 14) Ngaphezu kwalokho, “uthando luyabekezela futhi lunomusa. . . . Alunamagqubu.” (1 Kor. 13:4, 5) Ukungaboni ngaso linye kufanele kuxazululwe ngokushesha. Ngakho-ke, umbhangqwana ongamaKristu kufanele uzame ukulungisa noma yini eyinkinga ngaphambi kokuba usuku luphele. (Efe. 4:26, 27) Ukusho ngobuqotho ukuthi, “Ngiyaxolisa ngokukuzwisa ubuhlungu” kudinga ukuthobeka nesibindi, kodwa kusiza kakhulu ekuxazululeni izinkinga nokwenza abashadile basondelane kakhudlwana.

ISIDINGO ESIKHETHEKILE SOKUBA NESISA

7, 8. (a) Yisiphi iseluleko iBhayibheli elisinikezayo mayelana nocansi emshadweni? (b) Kungani imibhangqwana kumelwe ibonisane isisa?

7 IBhayibheli linikeza iseluleko esihlakaniphile esingasiza umbhangqwana ukuba ube nombono olinganiselwe ngemfanelo yomshado. (Funda eyoku-1 Korinte 7:3-5.) Kubalulekile ukucabangela ngothando imizwa nezidingo zoshade naye. Uma inkosikazi ingaphathwa ngesisa, ingase ikuthole kunzima ukujabulela lesi sici somshado. Amadoda atshelwa ukuba asebenzelane namakhosikazi awo “ngokolwazi.” (1 Pet. 3:7) Akekho okufanele aphoqwe ukuba aye ocansini kodwa kufanele kuzenzakalele. Ngokuvamile, imizwa yendoda iyashesha kunemizwa yowesifazane, kodwa kufanele bobabili bakulungele ngokomzwelo.

8 Nakuba iBhayibheli lingayinikezi imithetho eqondile mayelana nokuthi kumelwe niphululane kanjani futhi ngezinga elingakanani; liyakhuluma ngezindlela zokubonisana uthando. (IsiHl. 1:2; 2:6) Imibhangqwana engamaKristu kufanele iphathane ngesisa.

9. Kungani ukufisa ukulala nomuntu ongashadile naye kukubi?

9 Uthando olujulile ngoNkulunkulu nangomakhelwane ngeke luvumele muntu noma yini enye iphazamise isibopho somshado. Eminye imishado iye yaba nezinkinga noma yaze yaphela ngenxa yokuthi oyedwa kubo uwumlutha wokubuka izithombe zobulili ezingcolile. Noma yikuphi ukuthambekela kokukhangwa yilokhu noma isifiso socansi sanoma yiluphi uhlobo ngaphandle komshado kufanele kugwenywe ngokuqinile. Ngisho nokudlala ngothando nomuntu ongashadile naye kuwungabi naluthando futhi kumelwe kugwenywe. Ukukhumbula ukuthi uNkulunkulu uyayibona imicabango nezenzo zethu kuyoqinisa isifiso sethu sokumjabulisa nesokuhlala simsulwa.—Funda uMathewu 5:27, 28; Hebheru 4:13.

LAPHO UMSHADO UNEZINKINGA

10, 11. (a) Sivame kangakanani isehlukaniso? (b) Lithini iBhayibheli ngokuhlala ngokwehlukana? (c) Yini eyosiza abashadile ukuba bangahlali ngokwehlukana ngokushesha?

10 Izinkinga ezinkulu ezingalungiseki emshadweni zingaholela oyedwa kwabashadile noma bobabili ukuba bacabange ngokuhlala ngokwehlukana noma behlukanise umshado. Kwamanye amazwe, ingxenye yabantu abashadayo igcina ngokwehlukanisa. Lo mkhuba awuvamile ebandleni lobuKristu kodwa izinkinga ezandayo zomshado phakathi kwabantu bakaNkulunkulu zinikeza isizathu sokukhathazeka.

11 IBhayibheli linikeza lezi ziqondiso: “Umfazi angamuki kumyeni wakhe. Kodwa uma ngempela emuka, makahlale engashadile noma aphinde abuyisane nomyeni wakhe; futhi indoda akufanele imshiye umkayo.” (1 Kor. 7:10, 11) Ukuhlala ngokwehlukana akufanele kuthathwe kancane. Nakuba ukuhlala ngokwehlukana kungase kubonakale kuyisixazululo lapho kuphakama izimo ezinzima, kuvame ukubangela izinkinga ezengeziwe. Ngemva kokusho lokho okwashiwo uNkulunkulu mayelana nendoda eshiya uyise nonina futhi inamathele kumkayo, uJesu wathi: “Lokho uNkulunkulu  akubophele ndawonye makungahlukaniswa muntu.” (Math. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) Lokhu kusho nokuthi indoda noma inkosikazi akufanele ‘ihlukanise lokho uNkulunkulu akubophele ndawonye.’ UJehova ubheka umshado njengesibopho saphakade. (1 Kor. 7:39) Ukukhumbula ukuthi ngamunye wethu uyolandisa kuNkulunkulu kufanele kushukumisele abashadile ukuba benze imizamo eqotho yokuxazulula izinkinga ngokushesha ukuze zingabi zinkulu kakhulu.

12. Yini engaholela ekutheni umuntu oshadile acabange ukuhlala ngokwehlukana?

12 Amaphupho angenakufezeka angaba yimbangela yezinkinga zomshado. Lapho amaphupho omshado ojabulisayo engafezeki, umuntu angase azizwe enganelisekile, ekhohlisiwe futhi aphelelwe injabulo. Ukungafani okungokwemvelo kwemizwelo yethu nendlela esikhuliswe ngayo kungabangela izinkinga; noma ukungaboni ngaso linye kungabangelwa izimali, abasekhweni noma abasemzini kanye nokukhulisa izingane. Nokho, kuyancomeka ukuthi iningi lamaKristu ashadile lithola izixazululo elivumelana ngazo kuzo zonke lezi zinkinga ngenxa yokuthi livumela uNkulunkulu aliqondise.

13. Yiziphi izizathu ezizwakalayo zokuhlala ngokwehlukana?

13 Ngezinye izikhathi kungase kuqondakale ukuhlala ngokwehlukana. Ukungondli ngamabomu, ukushaywa nokubekwa engozini ngokuphelele kwempilo engokomoya kuyizimo ezedlulele abanye abazibheka njengezizathu zokuhlala ngokwehlukana. AmaKristu ashadile anezinkinga ezinkulu kufanele afune usizo kubadala. Laba bazalwane abanokuhlangenwe nakho basiza imibhangqwana ukuba isebenzise iseluleko seZwi likaNkulunkulu. Lapho sixazulula izinkinga zomshado, kufanele sithandazele nomoya kaJehova nosizo lwakhe ekusebenziseni izimiso zeBhayibheli nasekuboniseni izithelo zomoya.—Gal. 5:22, 23. [2]

14. Lithini iBhayibheli kumaKristu ashade nabantu abangamkhulekeli uJehova?

14 KunamaKristu ashade nabantu abangakabi abakhulekeli bakaJehova. Ngaphansi kwalezo zimo, iBhayibheli linikeza izizathu ezinhle zokuthi kungani kufanele baqhubeke behleli ndawonye. (Funda eyoku-1 Korinte 7:12-14.) Kungakhathaliseki ukuthi oshade naye ongakholwa uyakuqaphela noma akakuqapheli, ubusisekile noma ‘ungcwelisiwe’ ngenxa yokuthi ushade nomuntu okholwayo. Noma yiziphi izingane ababa nazo zibhekwa ‘njengezingcwele’ futhi ziba nobuhlobo noNkulunkulu. UPawulu wathi: “Wena mfazi, wazi ngani ukuthi ngeke umsindise umyeni wakho? Noma, wena ndoda, wazi ngani ukuthi ngeke umsindise umkakho?” (1 Kor. 7:16) Cishe wonke amabandla oFakazi BakaJehova anamaKristu aye adlala indima ebalulekile ‘ekusindiseni’ umuntu ashade naye.

15, 16. (a) Yisiphi iseluleko iBhayibheli elisinikeza amakhosikazi angamaKristu anamadoda angezona izinceku zikaNkulunkulu? (b) Siba yini isimo somKristu “uma lona ongakholwa emuka”?

15 Umphostoli uPetru weluleka amakhosikazi angamaKristu ukuba azithobe kubayeni bawo: “Uma bekhona abangalilaleli izwi, bazuzwe ngaphandle kwezwi ngokuziphatha kwabafazi babo, ngoba beye baba ofakazi bokuzibonela bokuziphatha kwenu okumsulwa kanye nenhlonipho ejulile.” Ukuziphatha okubonisa ‘umoya onokuthula nobumnene, ongowenani elikhulu emehlweni kaNkulunkulu,’ kungaba indlela ephumelela kangcono inkosikazi engayisebenzisa ukuze izuze umyeni wayo kunokuba ishisekele ukumchazela ngezinkolelo zobuKristu.—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

16 Kuthiwani uma oshade naye ongakholwa ekhetha ukuba nihlale ngokwehlukana? IBhayibheli lithi: “Uma lona ongakholwa emuka, makamuke; umzalwane noma udadewethu akabophekile ngaphansi kwezimo ezinjalo, kodwa uNkulunkulu unibizele ekuthuleni.” (1 Kor. 7:15) Lokhu akusho  ukuthi umKristu usekhululekile ngokomBhalo ukuba aphinde ashade, kodwa akabophekile ukuba azame ukuphoqa ashade naye ukuba angahambi. Ukuhlala ngokwehlukana kungaletha ukuthula ngokwezinga elithile. UmKristu angaba nethemba lokuthi ashade naye ohambayo uyobuya esezimisele ukubambisana naye ukuze balondoloze umshado futhi ngokuhamba kwesikhathi abe umKristu.

UMSHADO NEZINTO EZIZA KUQALA EKUPHILENI

Ukubeka izinto ezingokomoya kuqala kungandisa injabulo yomshado wenu (Bheka isigaba 17)

17. Yini okufanele ize kuqala emibhangqwaneni eshadile engamaKristu?

17 Ngenxa yokuthi siphila phakathi ‘nezinsuku zokugcina,’ sibhekana ‘nezikhathi ezibucayi okunzima ukubhekana nazo.’ (2 Thim. 3:1-5) Nokho, ukuhlala siqinile ngokomoya kuyosisiza kakhulu ekulweni namathonya amabi aleli zwe. UPawulu wabhala:“Isikhathi esesisele sinciphile. Kusukela manje labo abanabafazi mababe njengokungathi abanabo, . . . nalabo abasebenzisa izwe babe njengalabo abangalisebenzisi ngokugcwele.” (1 Kor. 7:29-31) UPawulu wayengatsheli imibhangqwana eshadile ukuba ingayinaki imisebenzi yayo yasemshadweni. Nokho, njengoba isikhathi sesinciphile, kwakudingeka ukuba izinto ezingokomoya zize kuqala.—Math. 6:33.

18. Kungani kungenzeka ukuba amaKristu abe nomshado ojabulisayo nophumelelayo?

18 Nakuba siphila ezikhathini ezivivinyayo futhi imishado eminingi ingaphumeleli, singakwazi ukuba nomshado ojabulisayo nophumelelayo. Ngempela, imibhangqwana engamaKristu enamathela kubantu bakaJehova, esebenzisa iseluleko seBhayibheli futhi evumela ukuqondiswa umoya ongcwele kaJehova ingakulondoloza “lokho uNkulunkulu akuhlanganisile.”—Marku 10:9.

^ [1] (isigaba 5) Amagama ashintshiwe.

^ [2] (isigaba 13) Bheka incwadi ethi “Zigcineni Othandweni LukaNkulunkulu,” isithasiselo, “Umbono WeBhayibheli Ngesehlukaniso Nokuhlala Ngokwahlukana,” kk. 219-221.”