“Ngiyojabula lapho sengishadile futhi senginabantwana.”

“Ngiyojabula lapho senginomuzi othi mina.”

“Ngiyojabula lapho sengithole lowaya msebenzi.”

“Ngiyojabula lapho . . .”

WAKE wazizwa yini ngaleyo ndlela? Lapho sewuwufinyelele umgomo wakho noma sewukutholile lokho owawukufisa, ingabe injabulo yakho yahlala isikhathi eside? Noma, ingabe yahamba yahamba yaphela? Yiqiniso ukuthi ukufinyelela umgomo, noma ukuthola into ebesiyifisa kungasenza sijabule, kodwa leyo njabulo ingadlula ngokushesha. Injabulo ehlala njalo ayisekelwe kuphela ezintweni esizifinyelele noma esizizuzile. Kunalokho, njengoba kunjalo ngokuba nempilo enhle, injabulo yangempela incike ezintweni ezihlukahlukene.

Umuntu ngamunye uhlukile. Okukwenza ujabule, kungase kungamjabulisi omunye umuntu. Ngaphezu kwalokho, siyashintsha njengoba sikhula. Noma kunjalo, ubufakazi bubonisa ukuthi kunezinto ezihlale zihlotshaniswa nenjabulo. Ngokwesibonelo, injabulo yangempela ihlotshaniswa nokuthola ukwaneliseka, ukugwema ukuba nomona, ukuhlakulela uthando ngabanye nokufunda ukubekezelela izinto ezihlupha ingqondo noma imizwelo. Ake sibone ukuthi kungani.

 1. THOLA UKWANELISEKA

Ingqapheli ehlakaniphile yokwakheka kwabantu yaphawula, ‘Imali iyisivikelo.’ Kodwa yaphinde yenezela: “Umthandi wesiliva nje ngeke aneliseke ngesiliva, nanoma ubani ongumthandi womcebo ngeke aneliswe yinzuzo engenayo. Nalokhu kuyize.” (UmShumayeli 5:10; 7:12) Yayiqonde ukuthini? Nakuba singase siyidinge imali ukuze siqhubeke siphila, kufanele sikugweme ukuhaha ngoba akwaneliswa! Lo mlobi, okuyiNkosi uSolomoni yakwa-Israyeli wasendulo, empeleni wenza okuthile ukuze abone ukuthi ingcebo nokuphila kokutamasa kuyayiletha yini injabulo yangempela. Wabhala, “Noma yini amehlo ami ayeyicela angizange ngiyidedisele kude nawo. Angizange ngiyigodlele inhliziyo yami noma yiluphi uhlobo lokuthokoza.”—UmShumayeli 1:13; 2:10.

Ngemva kokuqongelela ingcebo eningi, uSolomoni wakha izindlu zikanokusho, amapaki amahle namachibi futhi waba nezisebenzi eziningi. Noma yini ayeyifuna, wayeyithola. Wathola siphi isifundo? Lokhu akwenza kwamlethela injabulo ngezinga elithile, kodwa ayihlalanga isikhathi eside. Waphawula, “Konke kwakuyize, kwakungekho lutho oluyinzuzo.” Waze wazonda ngisho nokuphila! (UmShumayeli 2:11, 17, 18) Ngempela, uSolomoni wafunda ukuthi ukuphila kokuzitika akuyilethi nhlobo injabulo. *

Ingabe ucwaningo lwanamuhla luyavumelana nalokhu kuhlakanipha kwasendulo? Isihloko esikumagazini othi Journal of Happiness Studies saphawula ukuthi, “ngemva kokuba izidingo zomuntu eziyisisekelo sezanelisiwe, imali eyengeziwe ayimenzi umuntu ajabule ngokwengeziwe.” Ngempela, ubufakazi bubonisa ukuthi ukuthenga kakhulu izinto ezibonakalayo, ikakhulu okuhambisana nokudela izimiso zokuziphatha nezinto ezingokomoya, kungayiqeda injabulo.

ISIMISO SEBHAYIBHELI: “Indlela yenu yokuphila mayingabi nalo uthando lwemali, naneliswe izinto ezikhona.”Hebheru 13:5.

2. GWEMA UKUBA NOMONA

Umona uchazwa ngokuthi “ukungajabuli noma ukuzwa ubuhlungu ngento enhle omunye umuntu anayo, okuhambisana nesifiso sokuthi ibe ngeyakho.” Njengesimila somdlavuza, umona ungalimaza ukuphila komuntu futhi uqede injabulo yakhe. Umona ungaqala kanjani? Singayibona kanjani le nkinga uma sinayo? Futhi singalwa kanjani nayo?

I-Encyclopedia of Social Psychology iphawula ukuthi, abantu bavame ukuba nomona ngabantu abasesigabeni esifana nesabo, mhlawumbe ngokuba ontanga, ngokuba nolwazi lwezinto noma isizinda sokuphila. Ngokwesibonelo, umdayisi angase angabi namona ngosaziwayo wamabhayisikobho. Kunalokho, angase abe nomona ngomunye umdayisi okanye naye.

Ake sifanekise: Izikhulu ezithile zasePheresiya yasendulo zazinomona, hhayi ngenkosi, kodwa ngesinye isikhulu esihlakaniphile ezazikanye naso, esigama laso linguDaniyeli. Ukuze lawo madoda abonise indlela ayengajabule ngayo, aze enza ngisho nozungu lokumbulala uDaniyeli! Kodwa lolo zungu aluphumelelanga. (Daniyeli 6:1-24) I-encyclopedia  eke yacashunwa ngaphambili, ithi: “Kubalulekile ukuqaphela ubutha obungabangelwa umona. Lobo butha buyabonisa ukuthi kungani umona uhlotshaniswa nezehlakalo eziningi zentukuthelo emlandweni.” *

Umona ungonakalisa izinga lomuntu lokujabulela izinto ezinhle

Ungawubona kanjani umona? Zibuze: ‘Ingabe ukuphumelela kukantanga yami kuyangijabulisa noma kuyangicasula? Uma ingane yakithi, engifunda naye onekhono noma engisebenza naye ehluleka ngandlela-thile, ingabe ngiyadumala noma ngiyajabula?’ Uma impendulo yakho iwukuthi “ngiyacasuka” noma iwukuthi “ngiyajabula,” lokho kungabonisa ukuthi unomona noma cha. (Genesise 26:12-14) I-Encyclopedia of Social Psychology, ithi, “Umona ungonakalisa izinga lomuntu lokujabulela izinto ezinhle futhi uqede imizwa yokwazisa ngezipho eziningi ezinhle ekuphileni. . . . Ukuthambekela okunjalo akunakuhlanganiswa neze nenjabulo.”

Umona singawunqoba ngokuhlakulela ukuthobeka kwangempela nesizotha, okusenza sikwazi ukwazisa amakhono nezimfanelo ezinhle zabanye. IBhayibheli lithi, “Ningenzi lutho ngombango noma ngokuzazisa, kodwa ngokuthobeka kwengqondo nibheka abanye njengabakhulu kunani.”—Filipi 2:3.

ISIMISO SEBHAYIBHELI: “Masingabi abazazisayo, sibhebhezela ukuncintisana, sifelana umona.”Galathiya 5:26.

3. HLAKULELA UTHANDO NGABANTU

Incwadi i-Social Psychology, ithi: “Imizwa yabantu ngobuhlobo babo inomthelela omkhulu endleleni yokwaneliseka ngokuphila kwabo kunokuba kunjalo ngomsebenzi abawenzayo, imali abayiholayo, umphakathi, noma ngisho nezimo zempilo yabo.” Kalula nje, ukuze babe nenjabulo yeqiniso, abantu badinga ukupha nokwamukela uthando. Umlobi weBhayibheli wathi, “Uma . . . ngingenalo uthando, angilutho.”—1 Korinte 13:2.

Ukuhlakulela uthando akusoze kwaphelelwa yisikhathi. Ngokwesibonelo, uVanessa wayenobaba owayemhlukumeza futhi eyisidakwa. Lapho eseneminyaka engu-14 ubudala, wabaleka kubo wayohlala ekhaya lezintandane, wahlala nasemkhukhwini owawungekho esimweni esihle, njengoba ekhumbula ukuthi kulapho lapho anxusa khona uNkulunkulu ukuba amsize. Mhlawumbe njengempendulo yemithandazo yakhe, wahlala nomkhaya owawuphila ngesimiso seBhayibheli esithi, “Uthando luyabekezela futhi lunomusa.” (1 Korinte 13:4) Ukuphila endaweni enjalo, kuhlanganise nalokho ayekufunda lapho etadisha iBhayibheli, kwamsiza uVanessa welapheka ngokomzwelo futhi nesimo sakhe sengqondo sathuthuka. Wathi: “Esikoleni, amamaki ami athuthuka esuka ko-D nako-F aya ko-A nako-B.”

Namanje uVanessa usalwa nezibazi ezingokomzwelo. Noma kunjalo, manje usemshadweni ojabulisayo futhi unamadodakazi amabili.

ISIMISO SEBHAYIBHELI: “Gqokani uthando, ngoba luyisibopho esiphelele sobunye.”Kolose 3:14.

 4. FUNDA UKUBEKEZELELA IZIMO

Ubani ongenazo izinkinga ekuphileni? Njengoba nje iBhayibheli lisho, ‘kunesikhathi sokukhala’ kanye ‘nesikhathi sokubangalasa.’ (UmShumayeli 3:4) Ukukwazi ukubekezela kusisiza ukuba sidlule ezimweni ezinjalo, sivuke sizithathe. Cabanga ngoCarol noMildred.

UCarol unesifo esiwohloza umgogodla, isifo sikashukela, inkinga yokuphefumula uma elele, kanye nokuwohloka kwezicubu osekwenze iso lakhe langakwesobunxele langabona. Noma kunjalo uthi, “Ngizama ukungahlali ngidikibele isikhathi eside. Ngiba nazo ‘izikhathi zokudabuka.’ Kodwa ngemva kwalokho ngiyayeka ukugxila kuleyo mizwa bese ngibonga uNkulunkulu ngalokho engisakwazi ukukwenza, ikakhulu engikwenzela abanye abantu.”

UMildred naye unezinkinga eziningana zempilo, ezihlanganisa isifo samathambo, umdlavuza webele kanye nesifo sikashukela. Kodwa njengoCarol, uzama ukungagxili ezinkingeni zakhe. Uyabhala, “Ngiye ngafunda ukuthanda abantu nokududuza abanye lapho begula, okuyinto engisizayo nami. Empeleni, ngithola ukuthi lapho ngiduduza abanye, angikhathazeki ngesimo sami.”

UCarol noMildred bathola injabulo ekududuzeni abanye

Nakuba bobabili laba besifazane befisa ukuthola ukunakekelwa okuhle kwempilo, abagxili enkingeni yabo yempilo kodwa esimweni sabo sengqondo nasendleleni abasisebenzisa ngayo isikhathi sabo. Ngenxa yalokho, banenjabulo ejulile okungekho muntu ongabaphuca yona. Ngaphezu kwalokho, abantu abaningi bayabathanda, kanti futhi bayisikhuthazo kubantu ababhekene nezilingo ezihlukahlukene.

ISIMISO SEBHAYIBHELI: “Uyajabula umuntu oqhubeka ekhuthazelela ukulingwa, ngoba lapho amukeleka uyokwamukela umqhele wokuphila.”Jakobe 1:12.

Lapho kusetshenziswa, ukuhlakanipha okuvela eBhayibhelini “kungumuthi wokuphila kulabo abakubambayo, futhi labo abakubamba bakuqinise kuyothiwa bayajabula.” (IzAga 3:13-18) Kungani ungazitholeli ngokwakho ukuba yiqiniso kwala mazwi ngokusebenzisa ukuhlakanipha okulotshwe eBhayibhelini? Kakade, uMlobi wale ncwadi engcwele, obizwa ngokuthi ‘uNkulunkulu ojabulayo,’ ufuna nawe ujabule.—1 Thimothewu 1:11.

^ isig. 11 Ukulandisa ngemizamo kaSolomoni yokuthola injabulo kutholakala kumShumayeli 2:1-11.

^ isig. 17 Isehlakalo esivelele sentukuthelo emlandweni, sihilela uJesu Kristu. UMarku 15:10 uthi, “abapristi abakhulu babemnikele ngenxa yomona,” ukuba abulawe.