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Phaphama!  |  March 2014

 USIZO LOMKHAYA | UMSHADO

Lapho Udumazekile Ngomshado Wakho

Lapho Udumazekile Ngomshado Wakho

INSELELE

Ngaphambi kokuba nishade, wena noshade naye nanibonakala ninokuningi enifana ngakho. Manje, ukuqaphela ukuthi nanizikhohlisa sekudale igebe phakathi kwenu, kwanenza naba nomuzwa wokuthi umshado wenu ufana nejele.

Ningabuthuthukisa ubuhlobo benu. Nokho, okokuqala cabangani ngokuthi kungani kungenzekanga lokho enanizithembise kona.

IZIMBANGELA

Ukubhekana namaqiniso okuphila kwasemshadweni. Ukuya emsebenzini nsuku zonke, ukukhulisa izingane nokusebenzelana nabasekhweni nabasemzini kungayiqeda kancane kancane injabulo emshadweni. Ngaphezu kwalokho, izinkinga ezingalindelekile—mhlawumbe njengezinkinga zezimali noma ukunakekela ilungu lomndeni elinenkinga yempilo engamahlala khona—zingayinciphisa injabulo emshadweni.

Ukungaboni ngaso linye kubonakala kungenakulungiseka. Lapho abantu besathandana, bavame ukungakunaki ukungaboni ngaso linye ababa nakho. Kodwa, lapho sebeshadile, indoda nenkosikazi bathola ukuthi bahluke kanjani omunye komunye ezintweni ezifana nendlela yokukhulumisana, ukuphatha imali nokuxazulula izinkinga. Ukungaboni ngaso linye okwakumane nje kubangele ukucasuka okungatheni, manje kungabonakala kungasenakubekezeleleka.

Anisayikhathaleli imizwelo yomunye nomunye. Ngokuhamba kwesikhathi, ukunqwabelana kwamazwi nezenzo ezingenamusa kanye nezingxabano ezingalungisiwe kungenza indoda nomkayo bakhethe ukufela ngaphakathi noma okubi nakakhulu, baqale ukusondelana nomunye umuntu ngokomzwelo.

Nanilindele okukhulu kakhulu. Abanye abantu bashada bekholelwa ukuthi bathole umaqondana ababedalelwene naye. Nakuba lowo mbono uzwakala umnandi, ungaholela enhlekeleleni. Lapho nje izinkinga ziqala, iphupho lokuthi umuntu uthole “umaqondana” liyaphela, okwenza bobabili abashadile babe nomuzwa wokuthi bakhetha kabi.

 ONGAKWENZA

Gxila ezimfanelweni ezinhle zoshade naye. Zama lokhu: Bhala phansi izimfanelo ezintathu ezinhle oshade naye anazo. Lugcine eduze lolu hlu, mhlawumbe ngemva kwesithombe somshado esincane noma emshinini wakho wobuchwepheshe. Hlale uluhlola lolu hlu ukuze uzikhumbuze ukuthi kungani washada nalowo oshade naye. Ukugxila ezimfanelweni ezinhle zoshade naye kuthuthukisa ukuthula futhi kuyonisiza nikubekezelele ukungaboni kwenu ngaso linye. Isimiso seBhayibheli: Roma 14:19.

Hlelani ukuba nesikhathi esimnandi nindawonye. Ngaphambi kokuba nishade, cishe nobabili nanisakha isikhathi sokwenza izinto ndawonye. Ukuthandana kwakuyinto entsha nejabulisayo, kodwa nanisihlela isikhathi sokuba ndawonye. Kungani ningenzi okufanayo namanje? Hlelani izikhathi ezimnandi eningazichitha ndawonye wena noshade naye, njengokungathi isoka nentombi bezishayelwa umoya. Ukwenza kanjalo kunganisiza nisondelane futhi kunenze nikwazi ukubhekana kangcono nezinkinga zokuphila ezingalindelekile.Isimiso seBhayibheli: IzAga 5:18.

Xoxani ngemizwa yenu. Uma amazwi noma izenzo zoshade naye kukuzwise ubuhlungu, ungakwazi yini ukuludlulisa lolo daba? Uma ungenakukwazi, thatha isinyathelo esifanele kunokuba uvele nje uqudule. Ngomoya ophansi, xoxa ngaleso simo esiphazamisayo noshade naye ngokushesha ngangokunokwenzeka, ngalo kanye lolo suku uma kungenzeka.Isimiso seBhayibheli: Efesu 4:26.

Uma amazwi noma izenzo zoshade naye kukuzwise ubuhlungu, ungakwazi yini ukuludlulisa lolo daba?

Qonda umehluko phakathi kwemizwa yakho nezinhloso zoshade naye. Cishe akekho phakathi kwenu oke afune ngamabomu ukuzwisa omunye ubuhlungu. Qinisekisa oshade naye ngalokhu, ngokuxolisa ngobuqotho ngokuthi uye walimaza imizwa yakhe. Ngemva kwalokho, xoxani ngokuqondile ngezinto eningazenza ukuze nigweme ukuzwisana ubuhlungu ningaqondile. Landelani iseluleko seBhayibheli: “Yibani nomusa komunye nomunye, ninobubele besisa, nithethelelane ngokukhululekile.”Efesu 4:32.

Linganiselani kulokho enikulindele. IBhayibheli liyavuma ukuthi labo abashadayo “bayoba nosizi.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Lapho nibhekana nalolo sizi, ungagijimeli eziphethweni zokuthi ukushada kwenu kwaba yiphutha. Kunalokho, bambisana noshade naye ekulungiseni ukungaboni ngaso linye futhi ‘niqhubeke nibekezelelana futhi nithethelelana ngokukhululekile.’Kolose 3:13.