Ufika ekhaya ngemva kokungcebeleka nabangane kusihlwa. Sekwephuzile. Useqile isikhathi obusibekelwe, futhi manje kumelwe ubhekane nabazali bakho. Uyanqikaza ukungena endlini. Uthemba ukuthi, ‘Mhlawumbe umama nobaba sebelele.’ Uvula umnyango kancane, uzithela phezu kwabo—babuka iwashi, balindele incazelo.

INGABE usijwayele isimo esichazwa ngenhla? Ingabe wena nabazali bakho anivumelani nje ngokuthi isiphi isikhathi esikahle okufanele ufike ngaso? UDebora oneminyaka engu-17 ubudala uthi: “Sihlala endaweni ephephile, kodwa angikwazi ukufika ekhaya ngemva kwamabili abazali bami bengakhathazekile.” *

Kungani kungase kube yinselele kangaka ukugcina isikhathi obekelwe sona? Ingabe akulungile ukufisa ukuba nenkululeko ethe xaxa? Ungabhekana kanjani nomthetho wesikhathi obekelwe sona?

Izinkinga

Ukubekelwa isikhathi kungakhungathekisa kakhulu, ikakhulukazi uma kubonakala kunciphisa isikhathi osichitha nabangane. UNatasha, oneminyaka engu-17, uthi: “Isikhathi engibekelwe sona siyangicasula. Ngelinye ilanga abazali bami babazi ukuthi ngibukele i-video nabangane kwamakhelwane. Noma kunjalo, lapho kudlula imizuzu emibili ngingakafiki ekhaya, bashaya ucingo bebuza ukuthi kungani ngingakafiki!”

Intombazane okuthiwa uStacy iveza enye inkinga. Uthi: “Kwakulindeleke ukuba ngibe sekhaya ngaphambi kokuba umama nobaba balale. Uma kwenzeka bengilinda, kwakusho ukuthi ngizofika ekhaya ngibathole bekhathele beyingcuba futhi becasukile.” Bese kwenzekani? UStacy uthi: “Babengenza ngizizwe nginecala.” Uyanezela: “Lokhu kwakukhungathekisa kakhulu. Ngangingaqondi ukuthi kungani babengahambi nje bayolala!” Izingxabano ezinjalo zingakwenza ube  nemizwa enjengekaKatie oneminyaka engu-18, othi, “Ngifisa sengathi abazali bami bangafunda ukunginika inkululeko ethe xaxa, ukuze ngingabi nomuzwa wokuthi ngiyadlubulunda.”

Mhlawumbe nawe uzizwa ngendlela intsha esanda kucashunwa ezizwa ngayo. Uma kunjalo, zibuze lo mbuzo:

Kungani ngijabulela ukuchitha isikhathi ngingekho ekhaya? (Phawula okukodwa.)

  • Kungenza ngizizwe ngizimele.

  • Kusiza ekudambiseni ukucindezeleka.

  • Kunginika ithuba lokuba nabangane bami.

Lezi zizathu ziyezwakala ngempela. Kungokwemvelo ukufuna ukuzimela njengoba ukhula, futhi izinto ezakhayo ongazenza eceleni zingakwenza uqabuleke. Ngaphezu kwalokho, iBhayibheli likukhuthaza ukuba wakhe ubungane obakhayo. (IHubo 119:63; 2 Thimothewu 2:22) Lokho kungaba yinselele uma usekhaya ngaso sonke isikhathi!

Kodwa ungayijabulela kanjani inkululeko enjalo uma isikhathi obekelwe sona sibonakala sicindezela? Cabangela okulandelayo.

Inselele #1: Isikhathi obekelwe sona sikwenza uzizwe uyingane.

“Ngangizizwa ngiyingane uma sengiphazamisa wonke umuntu kusihlwa ukuze kutholakale ozongihambisa ekhaya kusenesikhathi,” kukhumbula u-Andrea, manje oneminyaka engu-21.

Njengelayisense yokushayela, isikhathi obekelwe sona siwuphawu lwentuthuko

Lokho okungase kusize:

Ake sithi uyaqala ukuthola ilayisense yokushayela. Kwezinye izindawo umthetho unemingcele yokuthi ushayela kuphi, nini, noma nobani—okungenani uze ube neminyaka ethile ubudala. Ubungayenqaba leyo layisense, uthi: “Uma ngingenayo inkululeko ephelele, kungcono ngingashayeli nhlobo”? Lutho neze! Ukuthola ilayisense ubungakubheka njengomsebenzi omkhulu owufinyelele.

Ngokufanayo, zama ukubheka isikhathi obekelwe sona njengophawu lwentuthuko—isinyathelo esifanele. Ungagxili emingceleni oyibekelwe, kodwa gxila enkululekweni onayo. Awunayo yini manje inkululeko ethe xaxa kunangesikhathi usemncane?

Okukwenza kuphumelele lokhu:

Isikhathi obekelwe sona singamukeleka kangcono uma usibheka njengethuba esikhundleni sokuba isithiyo. Sithobele manje, futhi cishe uyonikezwa inkululeko ethe xaxa kamuva.—Luka 16:10.

Inselele #2: Awuqondi ukuthi kungani kuthiwa kufanele usheshe kangaka ukufika ekhaya.

UNikki, owake waba nenkinga ngesikhathi ayebekelwe sona, uthi: “Ngikhumbula ngicabanga ukuthi umama wayethanda nje ukushaya imithetho.”

Lokho okungase kusize:

Sebenzisa isimiso  esitholakala kuzAga 15:22, esithi: “Amacebo ayashafa lapho kungekho khona inkulumo eyisifuba, kodwa ngobuningi babeluleki kuba khona okufezwayo.” Ngesizotha, xoxa nabazali bakho ngalolu daba. Zama ukuthola ukuthi kungani bekhethe isikhathi abakubekele sona. *

Okukwenza kuphumelele lokhu:

Ukulalela lokho okushiwo abazali bakho kungakuvula amehlo. UStephen uthi: “Ubaba wangitshela ukuthi umama akakwazi ukulala ebusuku uma ngingakafiki ekhaya. Ngangingakaze ngikucabange lokho ngaphambili.”

Khumbula: Njalo kungcono ukuxoxa ngezinkinga ngomoya ozolile esikhundleni sokuqagulisana—okuyoba nemiphumela nakanjani. UNatasha, ocashunwe ekuqaleni, uthi: “Ngithole ukuthi uma ngilwa nabazali bami, ngiye ngiphucwe amalungelo amaningana ezinto engifuna ukuzenza.”

Inselele #3: Unomuzwa wokuthi ukuphila kwakho kuyalawulwa.

Ngezinye izikhathi abazali bathi imithetho yasekhaya—engase ihlanganise nokubekelwa isikhathi—izuzisa wena. UBrandi, oneminyaka engu-20, uthi: “Uma abazali bami bengitshela lokho, kungenza ngizizwe sengathi abafuni ukuba ngizenzele izinqumo noma ngiveze umbono wami.”

Lokho okungase kusize:

Ungase ukhethe ukulalela iseluleko sikaJesu esikuMathewu 5:41: “Uma othile osegunyeni ekucindezela ukuba uhambe imayela elilodwa, hamba naye amamayela amabili.” U-Ashley nomfowabo bathole indlela ezuzisayo yokusebenzisa lesi simiso. Uthi: “Ngokuvamile sizama ukufika ekhaya kusasele imizuzu engu-15.” Ungazibekela yini umgomo ofanayo?

Okukwenza kuphumelele lokhu:

Kujabulisa kakhulu ukwenza izinto ngoba sifuna ukuzenza hhayi ngoba kufanele sizenze! Cabanga ngalokhu: Uma ukhetha ukufika ekhaya ngaphambi kwesikhathi obekelwe sona, isikhathi sakho sisuke  silawulwa nguwe. Ngaphezu kwalokho, ungase ukhumbule lesi simiso: “Isenzo sakho esihle [asibanga] njengokungathi ucindezelekile, kodwa sibe ngokuzithandela kwakho.”—Filemoni 14.

Ukufika ekhaya ngaphambi kwesikhathi obekelwe sona kwenza nabazali bakho bakwethembe, okuholela enkululekweni eyengeziwe. UWade, oneminyaka engu-18 ubudala, uthi, “Uma abazali bakho bekwethemba, bakunika inkululeko ethe xaxa.”

Bhala enye inselele oyilethelwa isikhathi obekelwe sona.

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Yini engakusiza ukuba unqobe le nselele?

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Ucabanga ukuthi kungani lokhu kungase kuphumelele?

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Cishe ngelinye ilanga uyothutha ekhaya futhi ujabulele inkululeko enkudlwana. Okwamanje, bekezela. UTiffany, manje oneminyaka engu-20 ubudala, uthi: “Ungase ungayitholi yonke inkululeko oyifunayo, kodwa uma ufunda ukubhekana nemingcele, ngeke ube lusizi phakathi naso sonke isikhathi sobusha bakho.”

^ isig. 1 Amagama akulesi sihloko ashintshiwe.

^ isig. 13 Ukuze uthole amacebiso, bheka isihloko esithi “Intsha Iyabuza . . . Kungani Kunemithetho Eminingi Kangaka?” kuyi-Phaphama! ka-December 2006.

OKUDINGA UKUCATSHANGELWA

  • Isikhathi obekelwe sona sibonisa kanjani ukuthi abazali bakho bayakukhathalela?

  • Uma usuke waseqa lesi sikhathi, ungasilungisa kanjani isimo?