“UMA kukhona engingakwenza, ungazise.” Iningi lethu lisho kanjalo kumngane noma esihlotsheni esisanda kushonelwa. Yebo, sisuke siqinisile ngempela. Singenza noma yini ukuze sisize. Kodwa oshonelwe uke asibize yini athi: “Sengikucabangile ongangisiza ngakho”? Akuvamile. Kusobala ukuthi kungase kudingeke sithathe isinyathelo kuqala uma ngempela sifuna ukusiza nokududuza ososizini.

Isaga seBhayibheli sithi: “Izwi elikhulunywayo ngesikhathi esiyiso linjengama-apula asezitsheni zesiliva.” (IzAga 15:23; 25:11) Kuwukuhlakanipha ukwazi ukuthi yini ongase uyisho nokuthi yini okungafanele uyisho, nokuthi yini okufanele uyenze nongafanele uyenze. Nakhu ukusikisela okumbalwa okungokomBhalo abanye abantu abashonelwa abakuthole kuwusizo.

Okufanele Ukwenze . . .

Lalela: ‘Shesha ngokuphathelene nokuzwa,’ kusho uJakobe 1:19. Enye yezinto eziwusizo kakhulu ongayenza iwukuzwelana nomuntu oshonelwe ngokulalela. Abanye abantu abashonelwe bangase badinge ukuxoxa ngothandekayo wabo ofile, ngengozi noma ebulewe yisifo, noma ngendlela abazizwa ngayo selokhu efile. Ngakho-ke buza: “Ungathanda yini ukuxoxa ngakho?” Mabazinqumele. Lapho enye insizwa ikhumbula ukufa kukayise, yathi: “Kwakungisiza ngempela uma abanye bebuza okwakwenzekile bese belalelisisa.” Lalela ngesineke nangozwela ngaphandle kokuba nomuzwa wokuthi kudingeka unikeze izimpendulo noma amakhambi. Bavumele bakhulume noma yini abafuna ukuyihlanganyela nawe.

Nikeza isiqinisekiso: Baqinisekise ukuthi benze konke abebengakwenza (noma usho noma yikuphi okunye okwaziyo ukuthi kuyiqiniso futhi kuyakha). Baqinisekise ngokuthi indlela abazizwa ngayo—ukudabuka, intukuthelo, umuzwa wokuba necala, noma eminye imizwelo—ingase ingabi neze engavamile. Baxoxele ngabanye obaziyo abalulama ngempumelelo ekulahlekelweni okufana nokwabo. “Amazwi amahle” anjalo “ayimpiliso emathanjeni,” kusho izAga 16:24.—1 Thesalonika 5:11, 14.

Zenze utholakale: Zenze utholakale, hhayi ngezinsuku ezimbalwa zokuqala nje kuphela lapho abangane abaningi nezihlobo besekhona, kodwa nangemva kwezinyanga ezithile lapho abanye sebebuyele esimisweni sabo esivamile sokuphila. Uma wenze njalo uzibonakalisa ‘ungumngane weqiniso,’ uhlobo lomngane olusiza umngane walo ngezikhathi ‘zokuhlupheka.’ (IzAga 17:17) “Abangane bethu babeqikelela ukuthi senza okuthile ngezikhathi zantambama ukuze singachithi isikhathi esiningi sisodwa ekhaya,” kuchaza uTeresea, owafelwa ingane  yakhe engozini yemoto. “Lokho kwasisiza sakwazi ukubhekana nomuzwa wokulahlekelwa esasinawo.” Ngemva kweminyaka eminingi, izinsuku zokukhumbula okuthile, njengosuku lokukhumbula umshado noma usuku lokufa, zingaba izikhathi ezicindezelayo kwabasele. Kungani ungaziphawuli lezo zinsuku ekhalendeni lakho ukuze kuthi ngazo, uzenze utholakale, uma kudingekile, ubasekele ngozwela?

Uma ubona isidingo sangempela, ungalindi ukuthi uyoze ucelwe—thatha isinyathelo esifanele

Thatha isinyathelo esifanele kuqala: Ingabe kukhona okudinga ukwenziwa? Uyadingeka yini ozogada izingane? Abangane nezihlobo ezivakashile bayayidinga indawo yokuhlala? Abantu abasanda kushonelwa bavame ukukhungatheka kakhulu kangangokuba bangazi ngisho nokuthi benzeni, ingasaphathwa-ke eyokutshela abanye ukuthi bangasiza kanjani. Ngakho uma ubona isidingo sangempela, ungalindi ukuthi uyoze ucelwe; thatha isinyathelo sokwenza okufanele. (1 Korinte 10:24; qhathanisa neyoku-1 Johane 3:17, 18.) Owesifazane othile owafelwa umyeni wakhe uyakhumbula: “Abaningi babethi, ‘Uma kukhona engingakwenza, ungazise.’ Kodwa omunye umngane akabuzanga. Wavele washona ekamelweni, wandlula umbhede, wawasha okokulala okwakungcole ngesikhathi eshona. Omunye wathatha ibhakede, amanzi nezinto zokuhlanza wakolobha umata owawuhlanzelwe umyeni wami. Ngemva kwamasonto ambalwa, omunye wabadala bebandla wafika egqoke izingubo zakhe zokusebenza ephethe amathuluzi akhe wathi, ‘Ngiyazi ukuthi kukhona okudinga ukulungiswa. Kuyini?’ Yeka ukuthi leyo ndoda ithandeka kanjani enhliziyweni yami ngokulungisa isicabha esase sixega nangokulungisa izinto zikagesi!”—Qhathanisa noJakobe 1:27.

Yiba ngongenisa izihambi: “Ningakukhohlwa ukungenisa izihambi,” sikhunjuzwa iBhayibheli. (Heberu 13:2) Kufanele sikhumbule ukubonisa umoya wokungenisa izihambi ikakhulukazi kulabo abasosizini. Esikhundleni sokubamema ukuba “beze noma nini,” misa usuku nesikhathi. Uma benqaba, ungasheshi udikibale. Kungenzeka kudingeke isikhuthazo somusa. Mhlawumbe benqaba isimemo sakho nje besaba  ukuthi bazohluleka ukubamba imizwelo yabo phambi kwabanye. Noma bangase bazizwe benecala ngokujabulela isidlo nobudlelwano ngesikhathi esinjengalesi. Khumbula owesifazane uLidiya owayenomoya wokungenisa izihambi okukhulunywa ngaye eBhayibhelini. Ngemva kokuba uLuka emenyelwe emzini wakhe, uthi, “Wasicindezela ukuba sihambe naye.”—IzEnzo 16:15.

Yiba ngobekezelayo noqondayo: Ungamangaliswa yilokho abantu abashonelwe abangase baqale bakusho. Khumbula, kungenzeka bazizwa bethukuthele futhi benecala. Uma bekudla luhlaza kuyodingeka ubonise ukuqonda nokubekezela ukuze ungaphenduli ngokucasuka. “Gqokani uthando lobubele olunesisa, umusa, ukuthobeka kwengqondo, ubumnene, nokubhekakade, “ kutusa iBhayibheli.—Kolose 3:12, 13.

Bhala incwadi: Ngokuvamile akunakwa ukubaluleka kwencwadi yokulilela oshonelwe noma ikhadi lokuzwelana naye. Iyini inzuzo yayo? UCindy owalahlekelwa unina ngenxa yomdlavuza, uyaphendula: “Umngane othile wangibhalela incwadi emnandi. Lokho kwasiza ngempela ngoba ngangiyifunda ngiphindelela.” Incwadi noma ikhadi elinjalo lesikhuthazo lingabhalwa “ngamazwi ambalwa,” kodwa kufanele liveze okusenhliziyweni yakho. (Heberu 13:22) Lingabonisa ukuthi uyamkhathalela futhi unenkumbulo ekhethekile ngomufi, noma libonise indlela umufi akuthinta ngayo ukuphila kwakho.

Thandaza nabo: Ungakubukeli phansi ukubaluleka kokuthandaza nabashonelwe nokubathandazela. IBhayibheli lithi: “Ukunxusa komuntu olungile . . . kunamandla amakhulu.” (Jakobe 5:16) Ngokwesibonelo, ukukuzwa ubathandazela kungabasiza balungise imizwa ephambene enjengeyokuba necala.—Qhathanisa noJakobe 5:13-15.

Okungafanele Ukwenze . . .

Ukuba khona kwakho esibhedlela kungamkhuthaza oshonelwe

Ungabahlamuki ngoba ungazi ukuthi uzothini noma wenzeni: Singase sizitshele ukuthi, ‘Ngiyaqiniseka bafuna ukuba bodwa manje.’ Kodwa cishe iqiniso liwukuthi sibahlamuka nje ngoba sesaba ukwenza noma ukusho into engalungile. Nokho, ukugwenywa ngabangane, izihlobo, noma abakholwa naye kungenza oshonelwe azizwe enesizungu ngisho nakakhulu, okunezela ebuhlungwini. Khumbula, amazwi nezenzo zomusa ngokuvamile kulula. (Efesu 4:32) Ukuba khona kwakho nje kukodwa kungaba umthombo wesikhuthazo. (Qhathanisa nezEnzo 28:15.) Lapho uTeresea ekhumbula usuku okwashona ngalo indodakazi yakhe, uthi: “Ngehora elilodwa nje, iphasishi lesibhedlela lase ligcwele abangane bethu; bonke abadala nomkabo babekhona. Abanye besifazane babesafake izinto zokulungisa izinwele emakhanda, abanye besagqoke izingubo zokusebenza. Bamane bashiya konke ababekwenza beza. Iningi labo lasitshela ukuthi lalingazi ukuthi kufanele lithini, kodwa kwakungenandaba ngoba babekhona.”

Ungabacindezeli ukuba bayeke ukuba lusizi: Singase sithande ukuthi: ‘Kahleni, kahleni, musani ukukhala.’ Kodwa kungaba ngcono ukuziyeka izinyembezi zizehlele. “Ngicabanga ukuthi kubalulekile ukuvumela abashonelwe baveze imizwelo yabo futhi bayikhiphele ngaphandle,” kusho uKatherine, ecabanga ngokufa komyeni wakhe. Gwema ukuthambekela kokutshela abanye indlela okufanele bazizwe ngayo. Futhi ungacabangi ukuthi kufanele ufihle imizwa yakho ukuze uvikele eyabo. Kunalokho, ‘khalani nabantu abakhalayo,’ kutusa iBhayibheli.—Roma 12:15.

Ungasheshi ubeluleke ngokuthi abalahle izingubo noma ezinye izinto zikamufi bengakakulungeli:  Singase sibe nomuzwa wokuthi kungaba ngcono balahle izinto ezibakhumbuza umufi ngoba ngandlela-thile zenza usizi ludonse isikhathi eside. Kodwa isisho sesiNgisi esisho ukuthi “Khohlwa osekudlulile” singase singasebenzi lapha. Umuntu oshonelwe angase athande ukungasheshe amkhohlwe umufi. Khumbula incazelo yeBhayibheli yendlela inzalamizi uJakobe eyasabela ngayo lapho ikhohliswa ngokuthi indodana yayo encane uJosefa yayibulawe isilwane sasendle. Ngemva kokunikezwa ingubo ende kaJosefa eyayinindwe igazi, uJakobe “walilela indodana yakhe izinsuku eziningi. Onke amadodana akhe nawo onke amadodakazi akhe asuka ukuyomduduza, kepha wala ukududuzwa.”—Genesise 37:31-35.

Ungasho ukuthi, ‘Ningabuye nimthole omunye umntwana’: “Kwakungicasula ukuzwa abantu bengitshela ukuthi ngingayithola enye ingane,” kukhumbula umama owafelwa ingane yakhe. Kungenzeka banezisusa ezinhle, kodwa kumzali  ososizini, amazwi abonisa ukuthi isikhala sengane elahlekile singavalwa ‘angahlaba njengenkemba.’ (IzAga 12:18) Enye ingane ayisoze yasivala isikhala senye. Ngani? Ngoba ingane ngayinye yehlukile kwenye.

Ungakugwemi ngamabomu ukukhuluma ngomufi: “Abantu abaningi babengaliphathi kwakuliphatha igama lendodana yami uJimmy noma bakhulume ngaye,” kukhumbula omunye umama. “Angivume ukuthi ngangiphatheka kabuhlungwana lapho abanye benza lokho.” Ngakho-ke, ungayishintshi indaba ngokungadingekile lapho kuphathwa igama likamufi. Mbuze umuntu ukuthi uyathanda yini ukukhuluma ngothandekayo wakhe. (Qhathanisa noJobe 1:18, 19 no-10:1.) Abanye abantu abashonelwe bayakwazisa ukuzwa abangane bekhuluma ngezimfanelo zikamufi ezikhethekile ezazenza bamthande.—Qhathanisa nezEnzo 9:36-39.

Ungasheshi uthi, ‘Kwaba ngcono’: Ukuzama ukuthola okuthile okuhle ngokufa ‘akududuzi’ ngaso sonke isikhathi ‘emiphefumulweni ecindezelekile’ nesosizini lokufelwa. (1 Thesalonika 5:14) Owesifazane othile, lapho ekhumbula ukufa kukanina, wathi: “Abanye babethi, ‘Akezwa buhlungu’ noma, ‘Okungenani-ke usendaweni enokuthula.’ Kodwa ngangingafuni ukuzwa lokho.” Kwabasele izinkulumo ezinjalo zingasikisela ukuthi akufanele badabuke noma ukulahlekelwa kwabo akuyona into eyisimanga. Nokho, kungenzeka badabuke ngempela ngoba bamkhumbula kakhulu othandekayo wabo.

Kungaba ngcono ukungasho ukuthi, ‘Ngiyazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani’: Ingabe kunjalo ngempela? Ngokwesibonelo, kungenzeka yini wazi ukuthi umzali uzizwa kanjani lapho efelwa ingane uma ungakaze ubhekane nokulahlekelwa okunjalo wena? Ngisho noma ngabe wake wabhekana nakho, khumbula ukuthi abanye bangase bangazizwa ncamashí ngendlela owazizwa ngayo. (Qhathanisa nesiLilo 1:12.) Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma kufaneleka, kungaba okuzuzisayo ukuxoxa ngendlela owalulama ngayo ngemva kokulahlekelwa othandekayo wakho. Owesifazane othile ondodakazi yakhe yabulawa wakuthola kuqinisekisa lapho unina wenye intombazane eyafa emxoxela ngendlela abuyela ngayo ekuphileni okuvamile. Wathi: “Unina wentombazane eyafa akazange ethule indaba yakhe ngokuthi ‘Ngiyazi ukuthi uzizwa kanjani.’ Wamane wangitshela ukuthi izinto zazimmele kanjani yena wangiyeka ngazitholela mina ukuthi ngingakusebenzisa kanjani lokho.”

Ukusiza umuntu oshonelwe kudinga isihawu, ukuqonda nothando olukhulu kuwena. Ungalindeli ukuba oshonelwe eze kuwe. Ungavele nje uthi, “Uma ikhona into engingayenza . . . ” Zitholele wena “leyo nto,” bese uthatha isinyathelo esifanele sokuyenza.

Kusasele imibuzo embalwa: Kuthiwani ngethemba leBhayibheli lovuko? Lingasho ukuthini kuwe nothandekayo wakho ofileyo? Singaqiniseka kanjani ukuthi liyithemba elinokwethenjelwa?