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OFakazi BakaJehova

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INTSHA IYABUZA

Ingabe Ngikulungele Ukuphola?

Ingabe Ngikulungele Ukuphola?

 Kuyini ukuphola?

  • Uhlale uzikhipha nothile wobulili obuhlukile. Ingabe niyaphola?

  • Wena nothile wobulili obuhlukile niyakhangana. Kaningana ngosuku, nithumelelana imiyalezo ngomakhalekhukhwini futhi nixoxe ocingweni. Ingabe niyaphola?

  • Njalo lapho nihlangene nabangane, ninakana ngokukhethekile nomuntu oyedwa wobulili obuhlukile. Ingabe niyaphola?

Kungenzeka ukuthi awuzange ube nankinga ekuphenduleni umbuzo wokuqala. Kodwa kungenzeka uye wabambeka ngaphambi kokuphendula umbuzo wesibili nowesithathu. Kuyini ngempela ukuphola?

Empeleni, ukuphola kuwuchitha isikhathi esikhululekile nomuntu onemizwa yothando ngaye kuyilapho naye ezizwa kanjalo ngawe.

Ngakho impendulo kuyo yonke imibuzo engenhla ingu-yebo. Uma wena nomngane wakho wobulili obuhlukile ninemizwa yothando ekhethekile ngomunye nomunye futhi nixoxa njalo, kungaba socingweni noma ubuso nobuso, obala noma ekusithekeni, lokho ukuphola.

 Iyini injongo yokuphola?

Ukuphola kufanele kube nenjongo ehloniphekile—ukusiza insizwa nentombi banqume ukuthi bayafuna yini ukushada.

Yiqiniso, abanye ontanga yakho bangase bayithathe kalula indaba yokuphola. Mhlawumbe bamane nje bathanda ukuba nomngane okhethekile wobulili obuhlukile, bengenanhloso yokushada. Abanye bangase babheke lo mngane njengento nje abangaziqhayisa ngayo noma okuthile abangabukisa ngakho ukuze bahlonishwe kakhudlwana.

Nokho, ngokuvamile ubuhlobo obungajulile njengalobo busheshe buphele. Intombazane okuthiwa nguHeather ithi: “Iningi lentsha epholayo lihlukana ngemva kwesonto elilodwa noma amabili. Ligcina selibheka ubuhlobo nothile njengento yesikhashana—ngomqondo othile okubalungiselela isehlukaniso kunokuba kubalungiselele umshado.”

Ngokusobala, ukuphola kwakho nothile kuyayithinta imizwa yakhe. Ngakho qiniseka ukuthi unezinhloso ezinhle.—Luka 6:31.

Uma uphola ungenayo inhloso yokushada, uziphatha njengomntwana odlala ngethoyizi elisha abuye alilahle

Cabanga ngalokhu: Ubungathanda yini ukuba othile adlale ngemizwa yakho njengokungathi iyithoyizi lengane—elinakwa isikhashana bese liphinde lishiywa ngokushesha? Khona-ke, ungakwenzi lokho komunye umuntu! IBhayibheli lithi uthando “aluziphathi ngokuhlazisayo.”—1 Korinte 13:4, 5.

Osemusha okuthiwa nguChelsea uthi: “Ngesinye isikhathi ngiba nomuzwa wokuthi ukuphola kufanele kube into nje yokuzijabulisa, kodwa akuwona umdlalo uma oyedwa kwabapholayo ekubheka njengento enenjongo kuyilapho omunye engakubheki kanjalo.”

Icebiso: Ukuze ulungiselele ukuphola nomshado, funda eyesi-2 Petru 1:5-7 bese ukhetha imfanelo eyodwa okudingeka usebenzele kuyo. Ngemva kwesikhathi esingangenyanga, bheka ukuthi kungakanani okufundile—nokuthuthukisile—ngaleyo mfanelo.

 Ingabe sengikhule ngokwanele ukuba ngiphole?

  •  Ucabanga ukuthi osemusha kufanele aqale eseneminyaka emingaki ukuphola?

  •  Manje buza lowo mbuzo komunye wabazali bakho.

Kungenzeka ukuthi impendulo yakho yehlukile kweyabazali bakho. Noma mhlawumbe ayehlukile! Kungenzeka uphakathi kwentsha eningi eye yasihlehlisa isikhathi sokuqala ukuphola kuze kube yilapho isikhule ngokwanele ukuba izazi kangcono.

Yilokho uDanielle oneminyaka engu-17 anquma ukukwenza. Uthi: “Uma ngicabanga ngendlela engangizizwa ngayo eminyakeni emibili edlule, izimfanelo engangingazibheka kulowo owayengase abe umngane wami womshado, zihluke kakhulu kulezo engingazibheka manje. Eqinisweni, ngisho namanje angizethembi ngokwanele ekutheni ngingakwazi yini ukwenza isinqumo esinjalo. Lapho senginomuzwa wokuthi ubuntu bami buye bahlala bungaguquguquki iminyaka embalwa, ngiyobe sengiyacabanga-ke ngokuphola.”

Kukhona nesinye isizathu esenza kube ukuhlakanipha ukulinda. IBhayibheli lisebenzisa inkulumo ethi “ukuqhuma kobusha” ukuze lichaze inkathi lapho imizwa yobulili nemizwelo yothando iqala khona ukuba namandla. (1 Korinte 7:36) Ukuba nobuhlobo obuseduze nothile wobulili obuhlukile phakathi nale nkathi kungabhebhethekisa inkanuko futhi kuholele ekuziphatheni okubi.

Yiqiniso, lokho kungase kungasho lutho kontanga yakho. Abaningi babo kungenzeka bajahe kabi ukuzwa ukuthi kunjani ukuya ocansini. Kodwa wena ungakwazi—futhi kumelwe—ucabange ngendlela ehlukile kunaleyo! (Roma 12:2) Angithi neBhayibheli likukhuthaza ukuba ‘ubalekele ukuziphatha okubi kobulili.’ (1 Korinte 6:18, New International Version) Ngokulinda uze udlule enkathini yokuthomba, ungakwazi ‘ukuphebeza inhlekelele.’—UmShumayeli 11:10.

 Kungani kumelwe ulinde ngaphambi kokuphola?

Ukucindezelwa ukuba uphole ungakakulungeli kungafana nokuphoqwa ukuba ubhale izivivinyo zezifundo ongakazifundi. Ngokusobala, bekungeke kube ukucabangela lokho! Udinga isikhathi sokutadisha izifundo zakho ukuze ukwazi ukujwayelana nohlobo lwezinkinga oyobhekana nazo esivivinyweni.

Kuyefana nasendabeni yokuphola.

Ukuphola akuwona umdlalo. Khona-ke, ngaphambi kokuba uqale ukuphola nothile, kudingeka uzinike isikhathi sokufunda “isifundo” esibaluleke kakhulu—indlela yokwakha ubungane.

Kamuva, lapho uhlangana nomuntu ofanelekayo, uyoba sesimweni esikahle sokwakha ubuhlobo obuqinile. Kakade, umshado ophumelelayo wakhiwa abantu ababili abangabangane abakhulu.

Ukulinda ngaphambi kokuba uphole ngeke kukuncishe inkululeko. Kunalokho, kuyokunikeza inkululeko eyengeziwe yokuba ‘ujabule ebusheni bakho.’ (UmShumayeli 11:9) Uyoba nanesikhathi sokuzilungiselela ngokuba uthuthukise ubuntu bakho, futhi okubaluleke kakhulu, ingokomoya lakho.—IsiLilo 3:27.

Okwamanje, ungakwazi ukujabulela ubudlelwane nabobulili obuhlukile. Iyiphi indlela engcono kakhulu yokwenza kanjalo? Chithani isikhathi ndawonye nikanye nabantu babo bonke ubulili nobudala obuhlukahlukene. Intombazane okuthiwa uTammy ithi: “Ngicabanga ukuthi kumnandi kakhulu ngaleyo ndlela. Kungcono ukuba nabangane abaningi.” UMonica uyavuma. Uthi: “Ukuhlangana njengeqembu kuwumqondo omuhle ngempela ngoba uchitha isikhathi nabantu abanobuntu obuhlukahlukene.”

Ngakolunye uhlangothi, uma usheshe ugxila kumuntu oyedwa, uzidonsela amanzi ngomsele. Ngakho ungajahi. Sebenzisa lesi sikhathi sokuphila kwakho ufunda indlela yokwakha ubungane futhi ubulondoloze. Kamuva, uma ukhetha ukuphola, uyobe usuzazi kangcono, sewazi nokuthi yini oyifunayo kumuntu oyohlala naye ukuphila kwakho konke.