Unyamezela kangakanani wena? Ngaba wakhe . . .

•   waswelekelwa ngumntu omthandayo?

•   wagula ixesha elide?

•   wehlelwa yintlekele yemvelo?

 Abaphandi bathi ayizongxaki ezinkulu kuphela ezifuna umntu anyamezele. Nezinto ezininzi ezenzeka yonke imihla zingabangela ukuba umntu agule. Yiloo nto kubalulekile ukuba ufunde ukunyamezela, nokuba iingxaki zakho zinkulu okanye zincinci kangakanani.

•  Kuthetha ukuthini ukunyamezela?

•  Kutheni umele unyamezele?

•  Ungazifundisa njani ukunyamezela?

•  Into ethethwa ngoontanga bakho

 Kuthetha ukuthini ukunyamezela?

 Ukunyamezela kukukwazi ukumelana neengxaki kunye nezinto ezitshintshayo ebomini. Xa abantu bekwazi ukunyamezela, loo nto ayithethi ukuba abanazo iingxaki. Xa bedlula kuzo, baye babe namanxeba kona, kodwa bayomelela.

 Kutheni umele unyamezele?

•   Awunakukwazi ukuphepha ukuba neengxaki. IBhayibhile ithi: “Iimbaleki ezinamendu azisoloko ziphumelela elugqatsweni, . . . neengcaphephe azisoloko ziphumelela, kuba bonke behlelwa lixesha naziziganeko ezingalindelekanga.” (INtshumayeli 9:11) Sifunda ntoni? Nabantu abalungileyo behlelwa zizinto ezibuhlungu, naxa bengenzanga nto irongo.

•   Ukukwazi ukunyamezela kuza kukukhusela. Omnye umcebisi wabantwana besikolo uthi: “Baninzi kakhulu abantwana abakhe beza eofisini yam bekhala kuba bengapasanga kakuhle kwiimviwo, okanye bekhalela into yokuba beye baphoxwa kwiiwebhsayithi zokuncokola.” Nangona ezi zinto zinokubonakala zincinci, abantu abangakwazi ukumelana neengxaki “banokuba nezigulo ezahlukahlukeneyo zengqondo nezeemvakalelo.” a

•   Ukukwazi ukunyamezela kuza kukunceda ngoku naxa sele umdala. Xa uGqirha Richard Lerner wayethetha ngokuphoxeka ebomini wathi: “Xa umdala, ukuze ukwazi ukuphumelela uze uzenze kakuhle izinto, umele ukwazi ukungatyhafi xa kusenzeka izinto ezibuhlungu. Ukwazi ukucinga nangezinye izinto ozimisele ukuzenza, okanye ufumane ezinye iindlela ezinokukunceda uphumelele kweyona nto ufuna ukuyenza.” b

 Ungazifundisa njani ukunyamezela?

•   Khawuzame ukucinga ukuba ingxaki onayo inkulu kangakanani. Funda ukuwubona umahluko phakathi kweengxaki ezinkulu nezincinci ezenzekayo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Isidenge sizibonakalisa kwangoko xa sicaphukile, kodwa umntu osisilumko akasihoyi isithuko.” (IMizekeliso 12:16) Ayizizo zonke iingxaki onazo ezimele zikukhathaze.

   “Esikolweni, abantwana babekuthanda ukukhalaza kakhulu ngeengxaki ezincinci. Emva kokuxhaswa ngabahlobo abakwiiwebhsayithi zokuncokola kulo ngxaki, loo nto yayibenza bacinge ukuba banesizathu esivakalayo sokucaphuka, baze emva koko bangakwazi ukuzijonga ngendlela efanelekileyo iingxaki zabo.”—UJoanne.

•   Funda kwabanye. IBhayibhile ithi: “Intsimbi ilolwa ngentsimbi, nomntu ulola umhlobo wakhe.” (IMizekeliso 27:17) Unokufunda izinto ezibaluleke kakhulu kubantu abakhe banyamezela iingxaki ezininzi ezinzima.

   “Xa uthetha nabanye, uzotsho ubone ukuba nabo bakhe baba neengxaki ezininzi ezinzima kodwa ngoku babhetele kakhulu. Khawukhe uzame ukuthetha nabo, uve ukuba ziintoni abazenzayo nabangakhange bazenze ukuze bakwazi ukumelana neengxaki ababenazo.”—UJulia.

•   Yiba nomonde. IBhayibhile ithi: “Ilungisa nokuba liwa kasixhenxe, liphinda livuke.” (IMizekeliso 24:16) Kuthatha ixesha ukukwazi ukumelana nobunzima, ngoko ungothuki xa ngamanye amaxesha usenokuziva ungonwabanga. Eyona nto ibalulekileyo kukuba ‘uphinde uvuke.’

   “Xa uzama ukuphakama okanye ukuba bhetele emva kokuba uye wanengxaki, kufuneka utshintshe izinto ozicingayo nendlela oziva ngayo. Ayonto ilula ke leyo ibe ithatha ixesha. Ukuba bhetele emva kokuba wehlelwe yingxaki kuba lula njengoko ixesha lihamba.”—UAndrea.

•   Yiba nombulelo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Hlalani nibulela.” (Kolose 3:15) Nokuba inzima okanye inkulu kangakanani ingxaki onayo, zikhona izinto onokuba nombulelo ngazo. Khawuzame ukucinga ngezinto ezintathu ezenza ubomi bakho bube bhetele.

   “Xa usebunzimeni, kunzima ukungacingi ukuba kutheni loo nto isenzeka kuwe? Kodwa eyona nto ibalulekileyo ukuze ukwazi ukunyamezela kukungahoyi iingxaki zakho, ucinge izinto ezakhayo uze ube nombulelo ngezinto okwazi ukuzenza okanye onazo.”—USamantha.

•   Khetha ukwaneliseka. Umpostile uPawulos wathi: “Ndifunde ukwanela yiloo nto ndinayo.” (Filipi 4:11) Iingxaki zikaPawulos zazingaphezu kwamandla akhe. Kodwa eyona nto awayenokwazi ukuyilawula yindlela yena azenza ngayo izinto. Wayezimisele ukuhlala esonela zizinto anazo.

   “Into endiyifundileyo ngam kukuba xa kukho ingxaki, ekuqaleni ndiye ndingayicingi kakuhle okanye ndingazenzi kakuhle izinto. Eyona nto ndizimisele ukuyenza kukuzijonga kakuhle izinto nokuba zinjani. Loo nto ayizukunceda mna kuphela kodwa iza kunceda nabantu abasondeleyo kum.”—UMatthew.

•   Thandaza. IBhayibhile ithi: “Wuphosele kuYehova umthwalo wakho yena uza kukuxhasa. Soze avumele ilungisa liwe.” (INdumiso 55:22) Umthandazo ayonto nje omele uyenze kuba ufuna ukuziva bhetele, kodwa lixesha lokuncokola noMdali wakho, ‘okukhathaleleleyo.’—1 Petros 5:7.

   “Akunyanzelekanga ukuba ndijongane nengxaki ndindodwa. Ndiye ndithandaze ndimchazele yonke ingxaki endinayo uThixo, ndize ndimbulele ngazo zonke izinto andisikelele ngazo. Ngaloo ndlela ndiye ndiyeke ukungonwabi ndize ndihoye izinto uThixo andenzele zona. Umthandazo ubaluleke kakhulu!”—UCarlos.