Yiya kwinkcazelo

Yiya kwelilandelayo

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AmaNgqina KaYehova

IsiXhosa

“Zigcineni Kuthando LukaThixo”

 ISAHLUKO 10

Umtshato—Isipho Esivela KuThixo Onothando

Umtshato—Isipho Esivela KuThixo Onothando

“Intambo entlu-ntathu ayinakuqhawuka kubini ngokukhawuleza.”—INTSHUMAYELI 4:12.

1, 2. (a) Ngokuphathelele isibini esisandul’ ukutshata, yintoni maxa wambi esinokuzibuza yona, yaye ngoba? (b) Yiyiphi imibuzo eza kuphendulwa kwesi sahluko?

NGABA uyakuthanda ukuya emitshatweni? Abantu abaninzi bayakuthanda, kuba kuye kube mnandi. Eso sibini sitshatayo siye sinxibe kakuhle. Yaye uvuyo lubonakala lubhaliwe ebusweni baso! Siba nemincili ngolu suku, kwaye nekamva laso libonakala liqaqambile.

2 Ukanti, simele siyivume into yokuba ilungiselelo lomtshato likobunzima bona ubugxwayiba namhlanje. Ngoxa sisinqwenelela impumelelo isibini esisandul’ ukutshata, maxa wambi siye sizibuze sithi: ‘Kazi baza konwaba na kulo mtshato? Ngaba awuyi kuphela?’ Iimpendulo zale mibuzo zixhomekeke ekubeni umyeni nenkosikazi bayalithemba baze balisebenzise icebiso likaThixo ngomtshato kusini na. (Funda iMizekeliso 3:5, 6.) Kufuneka benjenjalo ukuze bazigcine kuthando lukaThixo. Ngoku makhe sibone indlela iBhayibhile eyiphendula ngayo le mibuzo mine: Siyintoni esona sizathu sifanelekileyo sokuba umntu atshate? Ukuba uyatshata, ufanele ukhethe iqabane elinjani? Unokuwulungela njani umtshato? Kwaye yintoni enokunceda isibini sihlale sonwabile emtshatweni?

SISIPHI ESONA SIZATHU SIFANELEKILEYO SOKUTSHATA?

3. Kutheni kungebobulumko ukutshata ngenxa yezizathu ezingavakaliyo?

3 Abanye abantu bacinga ukuba umtshato ubalulekile  ukuze umntu onwabe—bathi soze waneliseke okanye wonwabe ebomini ukuba akunalo iqabane. Ngamampunge loo nto! UYesu, owayengatshatanga, wathi ukungatshati sisiphiwo waza wabongoza abo banokukuvulela ithuba ukuba benjenjalo. (Mateyu 19:11, 12) Nompostile uPawulos wachaza iingenelo zokungatshati. (1 Korinte 7:32-38) UYesu noPawulos abazange bawise mthetho kulo mba; enyanisweni, ‘ukwala ukuba kutshatwe’ ‘yimfundiso yeedemon.’ (1 Timoti 4:1-3) Ukanti, ukungatshati kuyingenelo kwabo bafuna ukukhonza uYehova ngaphandle kokuphazamiseka. Ngoko ke, akubobulumko ukutshata ngenxa yezizathu ezingavakaliyo, njengokuphenjelelwa ngoontanga bakho.

4. Umtshato ophumelelayo usisiseko esinjani sokukhulisa abantwana?

4 Kwelinye icala, ngaba zikho izizathu ezibambekayo zokutshata? Ewe zikho. Nomtshato usisipho esivela kuThixo wethu onothando. (Funda iGenesis 2:18.) Ngenxa yoko uneengenelo ezithile kwaye unokusenza sonwabe. Ngokomzekelo, umtshato ophumelelayo usisiseko esihle sobomi bentsapho. Abantwana baye bafune ukuba kwikhaya elizinzileyo nekukho kulo abazali abaza kubakhulisa, babathande, babaqeqeshe kwaye babakhokele. (INdumiso 127:3; Efese 6:1-4) Noko ke, asikokukhulisa abantwana kuphela isizathu sokutshata.

5, 6. (a) Ngokutsho kweNtshumayeli 4:9-12, ziziphi ezinye zeengenelo zokuba nomhlobo osenyongweni? (b) Umtshato unokufana njani nentambo entlu-ntathu?

5 Khawucinge ngesibhalo esisekelwe kuso esi sahluko kunye nomongo waso: “Ababini balunge ngakumbi kunomnye, ngenxa yokuba banomvuzo ngomsebenzi wabo onzima. Ngokuba xa omnye wabo esiwa, omnye unokuliphakamisa iqabane lakhe. Kodwa wothini na oyedwa owayo xa kungekho omnye wokumphakamisa? Ngaphezu koko, ukuba ababini balala kunye, ngokuqinisekileyo baya kufudumala; kodwa unokufudumala njani na omnye? Yaye ukuba ubani unokongamela omnye, ababini bekunye  banokuma nxamnye naye. Yaye intambo entlu-ntathu ayinakuqhawuka kubini ngokukhawuleza.”—INtshumayeli 4:9-12.

6 Ubukhulu becala, ezi ndinyana zibonisa indlela obubaluleke ngayo ubuhlobo. Kakade ke, abantu abatshatileyo bangabona bahlobo basenyongweni. Njengoko esi sibhalo sibonisa, obo buhlobo bunokwenza isibini sincedane, sithuthuzelane size sikhuselane. Umtshato uqina nangakumbi xa ungeloqhina nje elidibanisa abantu ababini. Njengoko le ndinyana ibonisa, intambo entlu-mbini inokuqhawulwa. Kodwa xa imisonto emithathu yolukiwe, ayinakuqhawulwa lula. Xa eyona nto iphambili kumyeni nakwinkosikazi ikukukholisa uYehova, umtshato wabo uba njengentambo entlu-ntathu. UYehova uba nendima ebalulekileyo kuloo mtshato, ibe ngenxa yoko uba luqilima.

7, 8. (a) Liliphi icebiso uPawulos awalibhalela amaKristu angatshatanga anengxaki yenkanuko yesini? (b) IBhayibhile isinceda njani ukuba sibe nembono esengqiqweni ngomtshato?

7 Kuxa utshatile kuphela apho unokukwazi ukwanelisa umnqweno wesini ngendlela efanelekileyo. Xa utshatile, iintlobano zesini zichazwa njengeziyolisayo. (IMizekeliso 5:18) Kwanaxa umntu ongatshatanga sele edlule koko iBhayibhile ikuchaza ngokuthi ‘yintlahla yobutsha’—ixesha apho umnqweno wesini unamandla kakhulu—usenokuqhubeka enengxaki yenkanuko yesini. Loo nkanuko inokumenza aziphathe ngendlela engacocekanga okanye engafanelekanga ukuba akayilawuli. UPawulos waphefumlelwa ukuba abhale eli cebiso liya kubantu abangatshatanga: “Ukuba abanako ukuzeyisa, mabatshate, kuba kulunge ngakumbi ukutshata kunokutshiseka yinkanuko.”—1 Korinte 7:9, 36; Yakobi 1:15.

8 Enoba ziyintoni na izizathu ezenza umntu atshate, kuhle ukuba nembono esengqiqweni. UPawulos wathi abo batshatayo “baya kuba nembandezelo enyameni yabo.” (1 Korinte 7:28) Abantu abatshatileyo baneengxaki abangayi  kuba nazo abantu abangatshatanga. Noko ke, ukuba ukhetha ukutshata, unokwenza njani ukuze iingxaki zinciphe zize iintsikelelo zande? Enye indlela kukulikhetha ngobulumko iqabane.

UNOKULIBONA NJANI IQABANE ELIFANELEKILEYO?

9, 10. (a) UPawulos wayizekelisa njani ingozi yokutshata nomntu ongakholwayo? (b) Udla ngokuba yintoni umphumo wokugatya icebiso likaThixo lokungatshati nabantu abangakholwayo?

9 UPawulos waphefumlelwa ukuba abhale umgaqo obalulekileyo ofanele usetyenziswe ngabo bakhetha iqabane lomtshato: “Musani ukubotshwa edyokhweni kunye nabangakholwayo.” (2 Korinte 6:14) Lo mzekeliso wakhe wawusekelwe kubomi basezifama. Xa kubotshwa dyokhweni nye izilwanyana ezimbini ezingalinganiyo ngobukhulu okanye ngamandla, zombini zitsala nzima. Ngendlel’ efanayo ke, xa umntu okholwayo ebotshelelwa dyokhweni nye yomtshato nomntu ongakholwayo, ngokuqinisekileyo kubakho iingxabano. Xa elinye iqabane lifuna ukuzigcina kuthando lukaYehova libe elinye lingenaxesha laloo nto, izinto ezibalulekileyo ebomini babo aziyi kufana, ibe loo nto iya kudala iingxabano. Ngenxa yoko, uPawulos wabongoza amaKristu ukuba atshate “kuphela eNkosini.”—1 Korinte 7:39.

10 Kwezinye iimeko, amaKristu angatshatanga aye afikelela kwisigqibo sokuba ukutshata nomntu ongakholwayo kubhetele kunokuba lilolo. Amanye aye agqibe kwelokuba aligatye icebiso leBhayibhile, aze atshate nomntu ongamkhonziyo uYehova. Umphumo udla ngokuba buhlungu. Loo maKristu azibona sele etshate nomntu angakwaziyo ukuncokola naye ngezona zinto zibalulekileyo ebomini. Anokude abe ngamalolo ngakumbi kunokuba kwakunjalo ngaphambi kokuba atshate. Okuvuyisayo kukuba, maninzi amaKristu angatshatanga alithembayo nanamathelayo  kwicebiso likaThixo kulo mba. (Funda iNdumiso 32:8.) Nangona enethemba lokutshata ngenye imini, ahlala engatshatanga de afumane iqabane elikhonza uYehova uThixo.

11. Yintoni enokukunceda umkhethe ngobulumko umntu oza kutshata naye? (Bona nebhokisi ethi“ Ndifuna Iqabane Elinjani?”)

11 Kakade ke, into yokuba umntu engumkhonzi kaYehova ayithethi kuthi uliqabane elifanelekileyo. Ukuba ucinga ngokutshata, funa umntu onobuntu nonosukelo lokomoya olufana nolwakho, nothanda uThixo njengawe. Udidi lwekhoboka luye lwasilungiselela iincwadi ezininzi ezithetha ngalo mba, kwaye kuya kuba bubulumko ukuhlola loo macebiso eZibhalo ngenyameko, uwavumele ukuba akukhokele xa usenza esi sigqibo sibalulekileyo. *—Funda iNdumiso 119:105.

12. Sisiphi isithethe somtshato esiqhutywayo kumazwe amaninzi, ibe nguwuphi umzekelo weBhayibhile onokunceda kule nkalo?

12 Kumazwe amaninzi, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba abazali bakhethele umntwana wabo umntu aza kutshata naye. Kwiindawo ezinjalo, abantu abaninzi bayavuma ukuba ngabazali abanobulumko namava kulo mba ubaluleke ngolu hlobo. Imitshato yabantu abaye bakhethelwa ngabazali amaqabane idla ngokuphumelela, njengokuba kwakunjalo ngamaxesha okubhalwa kweBhayibhile. Umzekelo ka-Abraham owathumela isicaka sakhe ukuba siye kufunela uIsake umfazi unokubafundisa okuthile abazali abakwimeko efanayo namhlanje. UAbraham wayengajonganga mali nawonga. Kunoko, wazama ngandlela zonke ukufumanela uIsake umfazi kubantu ababenqula uYehova. *Genesis 24:3, 67.

 YINTONI ONOKUYENZA UKUZE UMTSHATO WAKHO UPHUMELELE?

13-15. (a) Umgaqo ofumaneka kwiMizekeliso 24:27 unokumnceda njani umfana ocinga ngokutshata? (b) Yintoni enokunceda intombi ilungele umtshato?

13 Ukuba uzimisele ukutshata, kuya kuba kuhle ukuba uzibuze lo mbuzo, ‘Ngaba ndiwulungele umtshato?’ Impendulo yalo mbuzo ayinanto yakwenza nendlela ovakalelwa ngayo ngothando, ngesini, ngokufuna kwakho iqabane okanye ngokukhulisa abantwana. Kunoko, kukho usukelo olucacileyo afanele acinge ngalo lowo uza kuba ngumyeni okanye inkosikazi.

14 Umfana ofuna ukutshata ufanele acinge ngalo mgaqo: “Lungisa umsebenzi wakho ngaphandle, yaye wulungiselele wena entsimini. Wandule ukwakha indlu yakho.” (IMizekeliso 24:27) Yintoni ingongoma edluliselwa sesi sibhalo? Kudala, xa indoda ifuna “ukwakha indlu” yayo, okanye iqalise intsapho ngokutshata, kwakufuneka izibuze lo mbuzo, ‘Ngaba ndiza kukwazi ukunyamekela nokondla umfazi nabantwana abanokuvela?’ Kwakufuneka iqale isebenze, ihoye amasimi okanye isivuno sayo. Kunjalo ke nanamhlanje. Indoda efuna ukutshata ifanele iyilungele le mbopheleleko. Logama nje iphilile emzimbeni, imele isebenze. ILizwi likaThixo libonisa ukuba xa indoda ingazinyamekeli iimfuno zentsapho yayo zenyama, zemvakelelo nezokomoya, kubhetele kwaumntu ongakholwayo kunayo!—Funda eyoku-1 kuTimoti 5:8.

15 Nomfazi xa egqiba kwelokuba atshate wamkela iimbopheleleko ezinzima eziliqela. IBhayibhile iyamncoma umfazi onobugcisa noneempawu ezifunekayo ukuze ancede umyeni wakhe kwaye anyamekele umzi wakhe. (IMizekeliso 31:10-31) Amadoda nabafazi abangxamela umtshato bengakhange balungele iimbopheleleko ezibandakanyekileyo bazicingela bodwa, abacingi ngoko banokukwenzela umntu oza kuba liqabane labo. Noko ke, okubaluleke nangakumbi kukuba, abo bafuna umtshato bawulungele ngokomoya.

16, 17. Yiyiphi imigaqo yeZibhalo abafanele bacamngce ngayo abo bafuna ukutshata?

 16 Ukulungela umtshato kuquka ukucamngca ngendima uThixo ayinike indoda nomfazi. Indoda ifanele yazi ukuba kuthetha ntoni ukuba yintloko yentsapho engamaKristu. Le ndima ayithethi kuthi inelungelo lokuba yingqwayingqwayi. Kunoko, imele ixelise indlela uYesu awayebusenzisa ngayo ubuntloko. (Efese 5:23) Ngokufanayo, umfazi ongumKristu ufanele ayiqonde indima ebekekileyo yomfazi. Ngaba uza kuwuthobela ‘umthetho wendoda yakhe’? (Roma 7:2) Sele ephantsi komthetho kaYehova nokaKristu. (Galati 6:2) Igunya lomyeni wakhe ekhaya limela omnye umthetho. Ngaba uza kulixhasa aze alithobele igunya lendoda engafezekanga? Ukuba akanakukwazi, makangatshati.

17 Ukongezelela koko, iqabane ngalinye lifanele likulungele ukuhoya iimfuno ezikhethekileyo zelinye iqabane. (Funda amaFilipi 2:4.) UPawulos wabhala wathi: “Ngamnye wenu makamthande umfazi wakhe njengoko ezithanda; ke yena umfazi, makabe nentlonelo enzulu ngendoda yakhe.” Ephefumlelwe nguThixo, uPawulos wabona ukuba indoda ikufuna ngokukhethekileyo ukuyiva into yokuba inkosikazi yayo iyihlonela ngokunzulu. Nomfazi ukufuna ngokukhethekileyo ukuziva ethandwa ngumyeni wakhe.—Efese 5:21-33.

Izibini ezininzi ezilumkileyo ziye zibe nempelesi ngoxa zisathandana

18. Kutheni izibini zifanele zizeyise ngexesha zisathandana?

18 Ngoko ke, ixesha lokuthandana ngaphambi komtshato asiloxesha lokudlala. Lixesha lokuba indoda nebhinqa bazi indlela efanelekileyo abafanele baphathane ngayo, baze babone enoba kububulumko na ukuba batshate. Likwalixesha lokuzeyisa! Nisenokulingeka kakhulu ukuba nifune ukuba neentlobano zesini—ngapha koko, kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba nomnqweno onjalo. Kodwa ke, abantu abathandana ngokwenene abayi kuyenza nantoni na enokwenzakalisa umntu abamthandayo ngokomoya. (1 Tesalonika 4:6) Ngoko ke, ukuba uthandana nomntu ngenjongo yokutshata, zeyise; unokuzuza lukhulu kolu phawu ebomini bakho bonke, enoba ude utshate okanye akutshati.

 UNOKWENZA NJANI UKUZE UMTSHATO UNGAPHELI?

19, 20. Indlela umKristu awujonga ngayo umtshato ifanele yahluke njani kweyabantu abaninzi behlabathi? Zekelisa.

19 Ukuze umtshato uhlale uhleli, isibini esitshatileyo simele sibe nembono efanelekileyo ngokuzibophelela. Kwiincwadi nakwimifanekiso eshukumayo, umtshato udla ngokuba nesiphelo esihle esinqwenelwayo ngabantu. Kodwa, kubomi bokwenene, umtshato awusosiphelo; usisiqalo—isiqalo sento uYehova ayiyilele ukuba ihlale ihleli. (Genesis 2:24) Okulusizi kukuba, abantu abaninzi kwihlabathi lanamhlanje ababoni njalo. Kwezinye iindawo, abantu bachaza umtshato njengokuzibophelela ngeqhina. Basenokuba abayiqondi kakuhle indlela lo mzekeliso oyichaza ngayo imbono yabantu abaninzi ngomtshato. Njani? Ngoxa iqhina elibotshwe kakuhle lifanele liyiqinise into ixesha elide kangangoko kufuneka, enye into ngeqhina kukuba linokuqhinwa lula lize likhululwe lula.

20 Abaninzi namhlanje bawujonga umtshato njengento yexeshana. Bayawungxamela kuba becinga ukuba uza kwanelisa iimfuno zabo, kodwa ke bekwalindele nokuwubaleka xa kuvela iingxaki. Noko ke, khumbula ukuba umzekeliso osetyenziswa yiBhayibhile wona uthi umtshato ufana nentambo. Iintambo ezisetyenziswa kwiinqanawa zenziwa ngohlobo lokuba zihlale zihleli, zingaze zicazululeke, kwanaxa kukho uqhwithela olunamandla. Ngendlela efanayo, umtshato wenzelwe ukuba uhlale uhleli. Khumbula amazwi kaYesu athi: “Oko uThixo akubophelele ngedyokhwe ndawonye makungahlukaniswa mntu.” (Mateyu 19:6) Ukuba uyatshata, ufanele ube nembono efanayo ngomtshato. Ngaba loo nto iwenza ube luxanduva umtshato? Nakanye.

21. Sisiphi isimo sengqondo abafanele babe naso abantu abatshatileyo ngamaqabane abo, kwaye yintoni enokubanceda ukuba babe naso?

21 Indoda nomfazi bafanele babe nembono efanelekileyo omnye ngomnye. Ukuba ngamnye ujonga iimpawu nemizamo  emihle eyenziwa ngomnye, umtshato uya kubangela uvuyo kwaye uhlaziye. Ngaba akukho ngqiqweni ukujonga izinto ezintle kwiqabane elingafezekanga? UYehova ungumntu osengqiqweni, ngoko silindele ukuba ajonge izinto ezintle kuthi. Umdumisi wabuza lo mbuzo: “Ukuba ubulinda iziphoso, Ya, Owu Yehova, ngubani na obenokuma?” (INdumiso 130:3) Nabantu abatshatileyo bafanele bakhangele izinto ezintle kumaqabane abo kwaye baxolelane.—Funda amaKolose 3:13.

22, 23. UAbraham noSara bawumisela njani umzekelo omhle kubantu abatshatileyo namhlanje?

 22 Umtshato unokubangela ulonwabo ngokuhamba kwexesha. IBhayibhile isichazela ngomtshato ka-Abraham noSara xa babesele baluphele. Babenazo iingxaki. Khawuthelekelele indlela asenokuba wayevakalelwa ngayo uSara, owayesele engene kwiminyaka engama-60 ubudala, ngokushiya ikhaya lakhe elitofotofo kwisixeko esifumileyo saseUre aze aye kuhlala ezintenteni ubomi bakhe bonke. Kodwa ke, wabuthobela ubuntloko bomyeni wakhe. Njengomphelelisi nomncedi wokwenene ka-Abraham, wamncedisa ekwenzeni izigqibo zakhe ziphumelele. Ukuzithoba kwakhe yayingelulo uhanahaniso. “Ngaphakathi,” wayebiza umyeni wakhe ngokuthi yinkosi yakhe. (Genesis 18:12; 1 Petros 3:6) Wayemhlonela ngokusuka entliziyweni uAbraham.

23 Kakade ke, loo nto ayithethi kuthi babesoloko bevumelana ngezinto. Wakha weza necebiso elingazange ‘limkholise kwaphela’ uAbraham. Sekunjalo, uYehova wamxelela uAbraham ukuba ayiphulaphule inkosikazi yakhe, ibe loo nto yeza neentsikelelo kwintsapho yakhe. (Genesis 21:9-13) Amadoda nabafazi kuquka nabo baneminyaka betshatile, banokufunda lukhulu kwesi sibini sihlonel’ uThixo.

24. Yimitshato enjani emzukisayo uYehova uThixo, yaye ngoba?

24 Kwibandla lamaKristu, abantu abaninzi bonwabile emitshatweni yabo—amakhosikazi abahlonela ngokunzulu abayeni bawo, abayeni bayabathanda kwaye bayababeka abafazi babo, ibe zonke ezo zibini ziyasebenzisana ekubekeni ukwenza ukuthanda kukaYehova kwindawo yokuqala. Ukuba ugqiba kwelokuba utshate, ngamana ungalikhetha ngobunono iqabane lakho, uwulungele umtshato, kwaye usebenzele ukuba umtshato wakho ube noxolo nothando oluzisa uzuko kuYehova uThixo. Xa kunjalo, umtshato wakho uya kukunceda uzigcine kuthando lukaThixo.

^ isiqe. 11 Bona isahluko sesi-2 sencwadi ethi Imfihlelo Yolonwabo Lwentsapho, epapashwe ngamaNgqina kaYehova.

^ isiqe. 12 Abanye oosolusapho babenabafazi abaninzi. Xa uYehova wayesebenzisana noosolusapho noSirayeli wemvelo, wasivumela isithembu. Asinguye owathi mayenziwe le nto, kodwa ke wabeka imiyalelo esilawulayo. Noko ke, amaKristu aya kukhumbula ukuba uYehova akasasivumeli isithembu kubanquli bakhe.—Mateyu 19:9; 1 Timoti 3:2.