Yiya kwinkcazelo

Yiya kwelilandelayo

Yiya kwiziqulatho

AmaNgqina KaYehova

IsiXhosa

IMboniselo  |  Matshi 2014

 Ibali Lobomi

Ukomelela Ngoxa Ndibuthathaka

Ukomelela Ngoxa Ndibuthathaka

Xa ubunokubona umzimba wam oziikhilogram eziyi-29 ukwisitulo esinamavili, ubungayi kukholelwa ukuba ndomelele. Kodwa xa kanye umzimba wam uphelelwa ngamandla umntu endinguye ngaphakathi uya esomelela. Makhe ndichaze indlela oku okwenzeke ngayo ebomini bam.

Ndineminyaka emine

Xa ndicinga ngexesha ndandingumntwana, ndikhumbula iimini zolonwabo kwindlu encinane esasihlala kuyo kumazantsi eFransi. Utata wayendenzele ujingi, yaye ndandithanda ukubaleka ndijikeleze igadi. Ngo-1966 kwafika amaNgqina kaYehova ekhaya, ibe ayedla ngokuncokola ixesh’ elide notata. Kwiinyanga nje ezisixhenxe kamva, waba liNgqina. Nomama walandela, ibe ndikhule ndithandwa ngabazali.

Ingxaki yaqala zisuka nje emva kokuba sibuyele eSpeyin, apho babesuka khona abazali. Ndaqalisa ukuva iintlungu ezandleni nasemaqatheni. Emva kweminyaka emibini siquqa sibuyelela koogqirha, safumana ugqirha wamathambo owaziwayo, yena owathi, “Sele nishiywe lixesha.” Umama waqalisa ukuntywizisa. Ugqirha wathi ndinesifo samathambo esinganyangekiyo, yaye iiseli zomzimba wam zihlaselana zodwa, nto leyo ebangela ukudumba nokuqaqamba kwamalungu. Nangona ndandineminyaka nje elishumi ubudala, ndaqonda ukuba kukho undonakele.

Ugqirha wacebisa ukuba ndisiwe kwisibhedlele sabantwana abayimilwelwe. Ekufikeni kwam ndothuswa zizakhiwo zaso ezingabukekiyo. Imithetho yalapho yayingqongqo: Oonongendi bandicheb’ intloko baza bandinxibisa iyunifomu engacacanga. Ndinyembezana ndazibuza, ‘Ndinokubunyamezela njani ubomi apha?’

UKWAZI KWAM UKUBA UYEHOVA UYANDINYAMEKELA

Andizange ndivume ukuba nenxaxheba kwizinto ezinento yokwenza nenkonzo yamaKatolika kweso sibhedlele, kuba abazali bam babendifundisile indlela yokukhonza uYehova. Oonongendi babengasiqondi isizathu sokuba ndingavumi. Ndambongoza uYehova ukuba angandishiyi, yaye kungekudala ndasiva isandla sakhe sindikhusela. Kwakungathi ndangiwa ngubawo onothando.

Abazali bam babevumelekile ukuba baze kundibona ixesha nje elifutshane ngeMigqibelo. Babedla ngokundiphathela iincwadi zeBhayibhile ukuze ndihlale ndinokholo olomeleleyo. Oonongendi babendivumela ndizigcine ezi ncwadi kunye neBhayibhile yam, ibe ndandizifunda yonk’ imihla, nangona abantwana babengavunyelwa ukuba babe neencwadi. Kwakhona ndandidla ngokuchazela amanye amantombazana ngethemba lam lokuphila ngonaphakade kwiParadesi yasemhlabeni, ekungayi kubakho mntu ugulayo  kuyo. (ISityhilelo 21:3, 4) Nangona maxa wambi ndandiziva ndidakumbile yaye ndililolo, yayindivuyisa into yokubona ukholo lwam lusomelela yaye ndisiya ndimthemba ngakumbi uYehova.

Emva kweenyanga ezintandathu, oogqirha bathi ndingagoduka. Ukugula kwam zange kuthomalale, kodwa ndandikuvuyela ukubuyela kubazali bam. Ndandisaqhubeka ndibhuqwa ziingqaqambo zamathambo. Ndandibuthathaka kakhulu ekukhuleni kwam. Sekunjalo, ndabhaptizwa xa ndandineminyaka eyi-14, yaye ndandizimisele ukukhonza uBawo wethu wasezulwini ngamandla am onke. Kodwa ngamany’ amaxesha ndandivakalelwa ngathi undidanisile. Ndandidla ngokuthandaza ndithi, “Kutheni kusenzeka kum nje oku? Nceda undiphilise. Akuyiboni na indlela endingcungcutheka ngayo?”

Ixesha lobutsha bam lalinzima kakhulu. Ndanyanzeleka ukuba ndiyamkele into yokuba andizukuphila. Ndandikunqwenela ukufana nabahlobo bam ababesempilweni yaye bedlamkile. Ndaziva ndiphantsi, ibe ndisoyika ukuthetha ngendlela endivakalelwa ngayo. Kodwa abazali nabahlobo bam babendixhasa. Ndikhumbula uAlicia—ondishiya ngeminyaka eyi-20—owaba ngumhlobo wokwenene. Wandinceda ukuba ndijonge ngaphaya kokugula kwam, ndize ndibe nomdla kwabanye abantu endaweni yokuba ndizikhathaze kakhulu ngeengxaki zam.

UKUFUMANA IINDLELA ZOKUPHILA UBOMI OBUNENTSINGISELO

Xa ndandineminyaka eyi-18, impilo yam yaphinda yankenenkene kakhulu, yaye kwaukuya ezintlanganisweni zamaKristu kwakundenza ndizive ndidiniwe. Kodwa njengoko ndandisoloko ndisekhaya, “elo xesha” ndandilichitha ekufundeni iBhayibhile. Incwadi kaYobhi neyeeNdumiso zandinceda ndaqonda ukuba uYehova uThixo akayi kusoloko esikhusela emzimbeni, kodwa uya kusoloko esinyamekela ngokomoya. Ukuthandaza kwam rhoqo kwandinika “amandla angaphaya koko kuqhelekileyo” ‘noxolo lukaThixo olungaphaya kokuqonda.’—2 Korinte 4:7; Filipi 4:6, 7.

Xa ndandineminyaka eyi-22 ndanyanzeleka ukuba ndisebenzise isitulo esinamavili. Ndandisoyika ukuba abantu babengayi kundihoya, basuke babone nje usisi ocekethekileyo ohleli kwisitulo esinamavili. Kodwa isitulo esinamavili sandenza ndazithemba kwakhona, yaye oko ndandicinga ukuba kuza kuba “sisiqalekiso” kwaba yintsikelelo. Umhlobo wam uIsabel wandicebisa ukuba ndizibekele usukelo lokuchitha iiyure eziyi-60 ngenye inyanga ndishumayela kunye naye.

Ekuqaleni ndandicinga ukuba kuya kuba bubudenge ukwenza oko. Kodwa ndacela uYehova ukuba andincede, ibe abazali kunye nabahlobo bam nabo bandinceda ndakwenza oko. Loo nyanga ixakekileyo yakhawuleza yaphela, ibe lwaphela tu uloyiko endandinalo. Ndayinandipha kakhulu kangangokuba ngo-1996 ndagqiba ekubeni ndibe nguvulindlela othe ngxi—ndichitha iiyure eziyi-90 ngenyanga ndishumayela. Yayisesona sigqibo sifanelekileyo eso, esandenza ndasondela ngakumbi kuThixo nesandomelezayo emzimbeni. Ukushumayela kwandivulela ithuba lokuchazela abantu abaninzi ngeenkolelo zam, yaye ndanceda abanye baba ngabahlobo bakaThixo.

UYEHOVA UQHUBEKA ENDIXHASA

Ngexesha lasehlotyeni ngo-2001, ndafumana ingozi yemoto ndaza ndophuka imilenze yomibini. Ngoxa ndandilele esibhedlele ndityiwa ziintlungu, ndathandazela ngaphakathi ndathi: “Khawuncede Yehova, ungandishiyi!” Kanye ngelo xesha, ibhinqa elalilele kwibhedi esecaleni kweyam landibuza lathi, “UliNgqina likaYehova?” Ndandingenawo amandla okuphendula, ngoko ndasuka nje ndanqwala. Lathi, “Ndiyanazi! Ndidla ngokuzifunda iimagazini zenu.” Andithuthuzela kakhulu loo mazwi. Nangona ndandilele ngandletyana-nye, ndakwazi ukushumayela ngoYehova. Elinjani lona ilungelo!

Ndakuba ndichachile, ndagqiba ekubeni ndishumayele ngakumbi. Umama wayetyhala isitulo sam esinamavili esibhedlele, ngoxa imilenze yam yomibini yayifakwe isamente. Suku ngalunye sasityelela izigulana ezimbalwa, sibuze impilo size sizinike iincwadi zeBhayibhile. Ndandiziva ndidiniwe emva koko, kodwa uYehova wayendomeleza.

Ndikunye nabazali bam, ngo-2003

Ebudeni beminyaka iingqaqambo zathi chatha, ibe ukusweleka kukatata kwayongeza intlungu endandinayo. Sekunjalo, ndizama ukusoloko ndicinga ngezinto ezakhayo. Njani? Xa iimeko zivuma, ndichitha ixesha nabahlobo kunye nezalamane zam, yaye oko  kuyandinceda ukuba ndilibale ngeengxaki zam. Ibe xa ndindedwa, ndifunda iBhayibhile okanye ndishumayele ngefowuni.

Izihlandlo ezininzi ndiye ndicimele ndize ngeliso lengqondo “ndikrobe” kwizithembiso zikaThixo zehlabathi elitsha

Kwakhona ndizama ukuzonwabisa ngezinto ezibonakala zingenamsebenzi, ezinjempepho epholileyo okanye ivumba leentyatyambo. Ezo zinto zindenza ndihlale ndinombulelo. Ukuhleka nako kuyandinceda. Ngenye imini xa sasishumayela, umhlobo wam obetyhala isitulo sam esinamavili wasimisa ukuze abhale okuthile. Ngequbuliso saqengqeleka saya kuntlitheka kwimoto emileyo. Sobabini sasothukile, kodwa sathi sakubona ukuba akukho monakalo wenzekileyo, sasuka sahleka.

Kukho izinto ezininzi endingakwaziyo ukuzenza. Ndizibiza ngokuba yiminqweno yam yexesha elizayo. Izihlandlo ezininzi ndiye ndicimele ndize ngeliso lengqondo “ndikrobe” kwizithembiso zikaThixo zehlabathi elitsha. (2 Petros 3:13) Ndiba nombono wam ndisempilweni, ndihamba-hamba, yaye ndibunandipha ngokupheleleyo ubomi. Ndikhumbula amazwi kaKumkani uDavide athi: “Thembela ngoYehova; yiba nesibindi uze uvumele intliziyo yakho yomelele.” (INdumiso 27:14) Nangona umzimba wam usiba buthathaka ngakumbi, uYehova uyandomeleza. Ndiqhubeka ndisomelela nangona ndibuthathaka.