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IMboniselo  |  2010-05-01

 Iindlela Zokwenza Intaspho Yakho Yonwabe

Indlela Yokuqeqesha Abantwana

Indlela Yokuqeqesha Abantwana

UGeorge uthi: *“UMichael, unyana wam owayeneminyaka emine wayesoloko eshiya izinto zakhe zokudlala zithe saa indlu yonke ngorhatya. Ndandimxelela ukuba aziqokelele aze azibeke ndawonye ngaphambi kokuba aye kulala. Kodwa ke wayeqhankqalaza. Le nto yayindenza ndibe ligqabi ngumsindo ndize ndimngxolise, kodwa ke sasixabana nangakumbi. Ndandifuna kube mnandi ngaphambi kokuba siye kulala, ngenxa yoko ndandimyeka ndize ndicoce ngokwam.”

UEmily uthi: “Iingxaki zaqalisa xa intombi yam eneminyaka eli-13 ubudala uJenny, ingazange ikwazi ukwenza umsebenzi wayo wesikolo. Kwaphela iyure yonke ekhala emva kokuba ebuye esikolweni. Ndamkhuthaza uJenny ukuba acele uncedo kutitshala wakhe, kodwa wathi wayengafuni kuthetha naye kuba wayekhohlakele. Kwabakho into ethi mandiye kuye laa mfazi ukuze ndimxelele iindaba zakhe. Ndandisithi akukho mntu unelungelo lokwenza umntwana wam angonwabi.”

NGABA nawe ufana noGeorge noEmily? Njengabo bazali, uninzi lwabazali luye lungakwazi ukunyamezela xa lubona umntwana esengxakini okanye engonwabanga. Kungokwemvelo ukuba abazali bafune ukukhusela abantwana babo. Kodwa ke ezi meko zichazwe ngasentla zavulela aba bazali sithetha ngabo ithuba lokufundisa abantwana babo ukuba bakwazi ukuzimela. Kakade ke, izifundo ezinokufundwa ngumntwana oneminyaka emine noneminyaka eli-13 ziyahlukana.

Inyaniso kukuba awunakusoloko ukwazi ukumkhusela umntwana wakho xa kuvela iingxaki. Liza kufika ithuba lokuba umntwana ashiye uyise nonina aze ‘athwale owakhe umthwalo.’ (Galati 6:5; Genesis 2:24) Ukuze umntwana akwazi ukuzimela, abazali kufuneka bahlale beyikhumbula imbopheleleko yabo  yokufundisa abantwana babo ukuba bangabi ngabantu abazingcayo kunoko babe ngabantu abadala abakwaziyo ukuzimela. Ukuqeqesha umntwana ngaloo ndlela asingomdlalo!

Ngethamsanqa abazali banomzekelo omhle wendlela uYesu awabaqeqesha ngayo abafundi bakhe. UYesu wayengenabantwana. Kodwa xa wayekhetha yaye eqeqesha abafundi bakhe wayefuna ze bakwazi ukuqhubeka nomsebenzi, nokuba yena sele engasekho. (Mateyu 28:19, 20) Into eyaphunyezwa nguYesu iyafana noko kufuna ukwenziwa ngabazali xa beqeqesha abantwana babo. Masithethe ngeenkalo ezintathu zomzekelo uYesu awawumisela abazali.

‘Mmisele Umzekelo Omhle’ Umntwana Wakho

Ngasekupheleni kobomi bakhe basemhlabeni uYesu wathi kubalandeli bakhe: “Kuba ndinibekela umzekelo, ukuze, kanye njengoko ndenjenjalo kuni, nenjenjalo nani.” (Yohane 13:15) Ngokufanayo, abazali kufuneka bachaze baze bamisele umzekelo waloo nto babafundisa yona abantwana babo.

Zibuze: ‘Ngaba ndithetha kakuhle ngomsebenzi wam endifanele ndiwenze? Ngaba ndithetha ngolwaneliseko endilufumanayo xa ndiye ndasebenza nzima ukuze ndincede abanye? Okanye ngaba ndisoloko ndikhalaza ndize ndizithelekise nabantu abaphila kamnandi?’

Kuyavunywa ukuba akakho umntu ofezekileyo. Sonke sikhe sizive sitsala nzima. Kodwa umzekelo wakho ngowona unokunceda abantwana bakho babone ukubaluleka kokuzibhokoxa ebomini.

KHAWUZAME OKU: Ukuba kunokwenzeka, mhlawumbi ungamana usiya nomntwana wakho emsebenzini ukuze abone indlela osebenza ngayo nzima ukuze uxhase intsapho. Hamba naye naxa uye kuncedisa abamelwane bakho kwimisebenzi yabo. Emva koko mxelele indlela oye wonwaba ngayo ngenxa yokwenza loo msebenzi.—IZenzo 20:35.

Ungalindeli Okungaphaya Kwamandla Akhe

UYesu wayesazi ukuba kwakuza kuthath’ ixesha ngaphambi kokuba abafundi bakhe bakwazi ukwenza umsebenzi awayelindele ukuba bawenze. Wakha wathi kubo: “Ziseninzi izinto endinokuzithetha kuni, kodwa aninakukwazi ukuzithwala okwangoku.” (Yohane 16:12) UYesu akazange afune ukuba abafundi bakhe bazimele ngenkqay’ elangeni ngoko nangoko. Kunoko wachitha ixesha ebafundisa izinto ezininzi. UYesu wabavumela ukuba bahambe bodwa abafundi kuphela esakubona ukuba babeqeqesheke kakuhle.

Ngendlela efanayo akunakuba kuhle ngabazali ukunika abantwana babo imisebenzi yabantu abakhulu ngaphambi kwexesha. Nakuba kunjalo abazali bafanele babone ukuba yiyiphi imisebenzi ebafaneleyo abantwana njengoko besiya bekhula. Ngokomzekelo, abazali kufuneka bafundise abantwana babo ukuba bacoceke, bacoce izindlu zabo baze bayiphathe kakuhle imali. Xa umntwana eqalisa ukuya esikolweni abazali bafanele balindele ukuba azi ukuba akayi kumelwa ngasemva ukuba enze umsebenzi wakhe wesikolo.

Abazali akufuneki baphelele ekubanikeni umsebenzi nje kuphela abantwana babo. Bafanele babaxhase njengoko bezama ukuphumelela. UGeorge, utata ebekuthethwe ngaye ekuqaleni, waqonda ukuba esinye sezizathu ezazimenza angabi nantsebenziswano uMichael sasikukuba lo msebenzi wawubonakala unzima. Uthi: “Ndayeka ukumngxolisa uMichael ndaza ndamfundisa indlela yokucoca.”

Wenza ntoni? UGeorge uthi: “Okokuqala, ndamisela ixesha lokuyeka ukudlala nelokuqokelela izinto zokudlala. Emva koko, ndamfundisa ukucoca igumbi lakhe. Loo msebenzi ndawenza umdlalo, sikhuphisana ngokuba ngubani oza kukhawuleza agqibe. Kungekudala loo nto wayesele eyenza engathunywanga. Ndandiye ndimthembise ukuba ndiza kumfundela ibali ngaphambi kokuba aye kulala. Kodwa ke ndandiye ndimxelele  ukuba xa eye warhuq’ iinyawo ibali laliza kuba lifutshane.”

KHAWUZAME ELI CEBISO: Khawuhlole ukuba yintoni enokwenziwa ngumntwana ngamnye ukuze afak’ isandla kwimisebenzi yasekhaya. Zibuze, ‘Ngaba kukho izinto endibenzela zona abantwana bam ebebefanele bazenze ngokwabo?’ Ukuba zikhona zenze kunye nabo de uqiniseke ukuba banokuzenza ngaphandle kwakho. Yenza kucace ukuba indlela awenza ngayo imisebenzi yakhe iza kuba nemiphumo enokuba mihle okanye mibi. Emva koko, qiniseka ukuba uyabambelel’ elizwini lakho.

Mnike Imiyalelo Ecacileyo

UYesu, njengaye nabani na okwaziyo ukufundisa kakuhle wayesazi ukuba eyona ndlela yokufundisa umntu ukwenza into ethile kukumvumela ayenze ngokwakhe. Ngokomzekelo, xa uYesu wayebona ukuba lalifikile ixesha wathumela abafundi bakhe ‘ngababini phambi kwakhe kwizixeko neendawo zonke ezo yena awayeza kuya kuzo.’ (Luka 10:1) Noko ke, akazange athi mabazibonele. Ngaphambi kokuba abathume wabanika imiyalelo ecacileyo. (Luka 10:2-12) Xa abafundi babuya baza babalisa ngempumelelo yabo uYesu wabancoma waza wabakhuthaza. (Luka 10:17-24) Wabaxelela ukuba wayebathembile yaye ebaxabisa.

Wenza ntoni xa kufuneka abantwana bakho benze umsebenzi onzima? Ngaba uyabakhusela abantwana bakho kwizinto abazoyikayo ukuze bangaphoxeki okanye boyisakale? Usenokufuna ukumnceda umntwana wakho ngokumenzela loo msebenzi.

Kodwa ke nanku umbuzo: Yintoni aya kuyifunda umntwana ukuba usoloko umenzela izinto? Ngaba loo nto ibonisa ukuba uyamthemba? Ngaba loo nto ayiyi kubonisa ukuba usamjonga njengohata osafuna ukufunzwa nguwe yonke into?

Ngokomzekelo, uEmily ebesithethe ngaye ekuqaleni wayilungisa njani ingxaki yentombi yakhe? Kunokuba angenelele wakhuthaza uJenny ukuba athethe notitshala wakhe. UEmily noJenny babhala phantsi imibuzo eyayiza kubuzwa nguJenny kutitshala wakhe. Emva koko wamcebisa ngexesha awayefanele aye ngalo kutitshala. Bade baqhelisela nendlela awayeza kuthetha ngayo. UEmily uthi: “UJenny waqweba isibindi sokuthetha notitshala wakhe yaye utitshala wamncoma ngokuza kuthetha naye. UJenny waziva enelunda ibe nam ndaziva ngaloo ndlela.”

KHAWUZAME ELI CEBISO: Yibhale phantsi ingxaki anayo umntwana wakho. Ecaleni kwaloo ngxaki bhala into anokuyenza ukuze ayilungise ngokwakhe ngaphandle kwakho. Qheliselani izinto ekufuneka azenze ukuze ayilungise. Mxelele ukuba uyamthemba.

Ukuba uhlala ubakhusela kwiingxaki abantwana bakho unokubenza bangakwazi ukujamelana nobomi. Kunoko benze babe nesibindi ngokubakhulisa ngendlela yokuba bazimele. Ngokwenza kanjalo uya kuba ubanika esona sipho sixabisekileyo.

^ isiqe. 3 Amagama atshintshiwe.

ZIBUZE . . .

  • Ngaba andilindelanga ukuba abantwana bam benze okungaphezu kwamandla abo?

  • Ngaba ndiyabaxelela ndize ndibabonise izinto ekufuneka bazenze ukuze baphumelele?

  • Ndagqibela nini ukukhe ndimkhuthaze okanye ndimncome umntwana wam?