Nangona ezinye iingcali zisithi kukho izinto ezilindelekileyo nezimele zenzeke ngokwamanqanaba athile xa umntu esentlungwini, indlela abantu abayinyamezela ngayo intlungu ayifani. Ngaba into yokuba abantu beyinyamezela ngeendlela ezahlukahlukeneyo intlungu ithetha ukuba kukho abangakhathazeki kangako okanye abayifihlayo intlungu abakuyo? Akunjalo. Nangona ukuyamkela into yokuba siswelekelwe nokubonisa indlela esibuhlungu ngayo kunokusinceda, ayikho eyona ndlela yokuba buhlungu ekunokuthiwa ichanile. Ezinye izinto zisenokuxhomekeka kwinkcubeko, ubuntu bomntu, izinto ezenzekileyo ebomini bakhe, nendlela asweleke ngayo loo mntu amthandayo.

KUZA KUBA BUHLUNGU KANGAKANANI?

Abantu abasentlungwini basenokungazazi izinto abamele bazilindele emva kokuswelekelwa ngumntu abamthandayo. Kodwa ke, kuqhelekile kwaye kulindelekile ukuziva ngeendlela ezithile nokuba neengxaki. Nazi ezinye zazo:

Ukothuka kakhulu. Usenokukhalela lowo uswelekileyo, kuze kubekho amaxesha apho uthi usonwabile utshintshe ungonwabi. Enye into esenokubangela ukuba ukhathazeke kakhulu kukumane ukhumbula lowo uswelekileyo nokuphupha ngaye. Ekuqaleni usenokothuka uze ungakholelwa. UTiina ukhumbula indlela awaziva ngayo xa umyeni wakhe uTimo, wasweleka ngendlela engalindelekanga. Uthi: “Ekuqaleni, ndavela ndamatha. Zange ndikwazi nokukhala. Ndandothuke kakhulu kangangokuba ngamanye amaxesha kwakuba nzima nokuphefumla. Ndandingayikholelwa le nto yenzekileyo.”

Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba nexhala, umsindo nokuzibeka ityala. UIvan uthi: “Kwadlula ixesha mna nenkosikazi yam uYolanda sinomsindo kakhulu emva kokuba kusweleke unyana wethu uEric oneminyaka eyi-24! Le nto yasothusa, kuba sasicinga ukuba asingobantu abanomsindo. Saziva sinetyala, sisithi mhlawumbi ngesasizame nangakumbi ukunceda unyana wethu.” UAlejandro owaswelekelwa yinkosikazi yakhe emva kokugula ixesha elide, naye wayezibeka ityala: “Ekuqaleni ndandisithi inoba ndingumntu ombi le nto uThixo evumele ukuba ndehlelwe yile ntlungu. Emva koko ndazibeka ityala, ngokungathi ndityhola uThixo ngento endehleleyo.” UKostas ebekuthethwe ngaye kwinqaku elingaphambili uthi: “Ngamanye amaxesha noSophia lowo wayekhe andicaphukise ndizibuza, ufeleni. Emva koko ndandiye ndibe buhlungu ngokucinga ngolo hlobo. Kaloku, yayingelotyala lakhe.”

Ukungakwazi ukucinga kakuhle. Ngamanye amaxesha umntu usenokucinga izinto ezingenakwenzeka. Ngokomzekelo, abanye abantu abasentlungwini bakhe bacinge ukuba bangamva okanye bambone umntu wabo oswelekileyo. Ingqondo yomntu osentlungwini isenokuthatha ibeka, kuze kube nzima nokukhumbula izinto. UTiina uthi: “Ngamanye amaxesha ndandisithi xa ndincokola, ndifumanise ukuba ingqondo yam ayikho apho! Yayingazinzanga, isoloko icinga ngokufa kukaTimo. Yayindihlupha into yokuba ingqondo yam ithatha ibeka.”

Ukungafuni ukuhlala nabantu. Umntu oswelekelweyo usenokudikwa okanye angakhululeki xa ehleli nabanye abantu. UKostas uthi: “Kwakungabi mnandi tu ukuhlala nabantu abatshatileyo. Phofu ke, kwakuba njalo naxa ndihleli nabantu abangatshatanga.” UYolanda inkosikazi kaIvan uthi: “Kwakunzima ukuhlala nabantu abakhalaza ngeengxaki zabo ezazibonakala zincinci xa zithelekiswa nezethu! Kwakukho nabanye ababedla ngokusixelela ngendlela abaqhuba kakuhle ngayo abantwana babo. Ndandibavuyela, kodwa ke kwangaxeshanye kwakusiba nzima ukubamamela. Mna nomyeni wam sasiyazi ukuba ubomi bumele buqhubeke, kodwa ke sasingenawo umonde wokumelana naloo meko.”

 Iingxaki zempilo. Iqhelekile into yokuba ungabi namdla wokutya, uhle emzimbeni uze ungalali ngokwaneleyo. Emva konyaka kusweleke utata wakhe, uAaron uthi: “Kwakunzima ukulala. Ndandivuka ngexesha elinye qho ebusuku ndicinga ngokusweleka kukatata.”

UAlejandro uthi xa ethetha ngeengxaki zempilo yakhe ezingaqhelekanga: “Ugqirha wayendihlola amaxesha amaninzi kwaye wayendiqinisekisa ukuba ndisempilweni. Ndandisithi iingxaki zempilo endandinazo zibangelwa yile ntlungu.” Ezo ngxaki zaye zaphela. Nakubeni kunjalo, uAlejandro wazinceda ngokuya kugqirha. Intlungu yokuswelekelwa isenokuwenza buthathaka umzimba, isigulo onaso siqatsele okanye uqalwe sesinye.

Kuba nzima ukwenza izinto eziyimfuneko. UIvan uthi: “Emva kokusweleka kukaEric kwafuneka sichazele izalamane, izihlobo nabanye abantu, njengomqeshi wakhe nomntu awayerenta kuye. Kwakukho neempepha zomthetho esasimele sizisayine. Loo nto yayifuna ukuba sihlole izinto zikaEric. Yonke le nto yayifuna simise ingqondo ngelona xesha sasidinwe ngalo.”

Kodwa ke, kwabanye abantu, ingxaki ibakho emva kwexesha xa kufuneka benze izinto ebezisenziwa ngulowo uswelekileyo. Loo nto yenzeka kuTiina. Uthi: “NguTimo owayesoloko ehoye izinto ezidibene nebhanki nezoshishino. Ngoku ezo zinto zazimele mna, nto leyo eyongeza istres endandisele ndinaso. Ndandiza kukwazi njani ukuyenza yonke le nto ndingakhange ndimoshe?”

Ezi ngxaki sele zichaziwe, zisenokwenza kubonakale kunzima ukunyamezela intlungu yokuswelekelwa. Yinyaniso kona ukuba kubuhlungu ukuswelekelwa ngumntu omthandayo, kodwa ukwazi ezi zinto kusengaphambili kunokumnceda umntu oswelekelweyo akwazi ukunyamezela. Ukhumbule ukuba, ayinguye wonke umntu owehlelwa zizo zonke ezi zinto. Enye into, isenokubathuthuzela abantu abaswelekelweyo into yokwazi ukuba indlela abaziva ngayo ngenxa yentlungu yokuswelekelwa iqhelekile.

NGABA NDIYA KUZE NDIPHINDE NDONWABE KWAKHONA?

Izinto onokuzilindela: Indlela oziva ngayo ngenxa yentlungu yokuswelekelwa ayihlali injalo, ekuhambeni kwexesha iba bhetele. Le nto ayithethi kuthi umntu uyayeka kwaphela ukuba buhlungu okanye amlibale lowo uswelekileyo. Kodwa ke, kancinci kancinci, le ntlungu iyaphola. Idla ngokumane ibuya xa ukhumbula izinto ezithile okanye ibuye ngamaxesha athile, njengomhla womtshato, umhla awasweleka ngawo loo mntu okanye eminye imihla ebalulekileyo. Kodwa ke, ekugqibeleni abantu abaninzi bayaxola baze baqhubeke nobomi. Le nto yenzeka nangakumbi xa lowo uswelekelweyo exhaswa yintsapho nabahlobo ibe naye kukho izinto azenzayo ukuze anyamezele.

Iza kuthatha ixesha elingakanani? Kwabanye inokuthatha iinyanga. Ukanti kwabanye kusenokudlula unyaka okanye emibini ngaphambi kokuba bazive bhetele. Bakho nekubathatha ixesha elingakumbi. * UAlejandro uthi: “Mna ndaqhubeka ndibuhlungu kangangeminyaka emithathu.”

Zinike ixesha. Yithi chu wena ngesantya sakho, usazi ukuba intlungu okuyo iza kugqitha ngenye imini. Ngaba zikho izinto onokuzenza ukuze upholise intlungu okuyo nokuze uyenze ingathathi ixesha elide kakhulu?

Kuyinto eqhelekileyo ukuba umntu owehlelwe yinto ebuhlungu akhathazeke

^ isiqe. 17 Kukho abantu abambalwa ababa sentlungwini kakhulu ixesha elide. Abantu abanjalo kusenokufuneka badibane nogqirha wengqondo.