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UVukani!  |  No. 4 2017

 UKUNCEDA IINTSAPHO | UMTSHATO

Xa Abantwana Bephumile Ekhaya

Xa Abantwana Bephumile Ekhaya

INGXAKI

Abantu abatshatileyo badla ngokuba neengxaki ezinkulu xa abantwana bekhulile bengasahlali nabazali. Xa sebehlala bodwa iba ngathi ziindwendwe emzini wabo. Enye ingcali ngemicimbi yentsapho, uM. Gary Neuman, ithi: “Baninzi abantu abatshatileyo endibacebisayo abangasakwaziyo ukuncokola kunye. Ekubeni bengasahlali nabantwana babo, akukho nto ingako abanokuthetha ngayo [abazali].” *

Unjani owakho umtshato? Ukuba iyenzeka into efana nale, ninako ukuyilungisa. Kodwa khaniqale nijonge izinto ezinokuba zibangele ukuba ningakwazi ukuncokola kunye.

KWENZEKE NTONI?

Kangangeminyaka, benisoloko nihoye abantwana. Abazali abaninzi bebesoloko behoye abantwana babo, ezabo izinto zisiza mva. Phofu loo nto beyenza kuba bebathanda. Ngenxa yoko, baye baqhela izinto ekufuneka zenziwe ngutata okanye umama ebantwaneni, bade bazilibala ekufuneka zenziwe yindoda emfazini wayo okanye ngumfazi endodeni yakhe. Loo nto ibonakala kakhulu xa sebehlala bodwa. Omnye umfazi oneminyaka eyi-59 uthi: “Xa besisahlala nabantwana bethu, besisenza izinto kunye.” Kodwa bathi bakumka, “elowo wazenzela into yakhe.” Ngenye imini wade wathi kumyeni wakhe: “Ngoku omnye umi endleleni yomnye.”

Abanye abantu abatshatileyo ababulungelanga obu bomi butsha. Incwadi ethi Empty Nesting ithi: “Abaninzi, iba ngathi basandul’ ukutshata.” Abanye, ngenxa yokuba bengaboni nto ingako ibadibanisayo, elowo uba nomdla wokuzenzela into yakhe, kube ngathi kungokuya babengekatshati. Bade babe ngathi ngabantu nje abahlala egumbini elinye.

 Iindaba ezimnandi zezokuba ungakwazi ukuziphepha ezi ngxaki, uvuyele iinzuzo ozifumana kobu bomi butsha. Makhe sibone ukuba iBhayibhile ingakunceda njani.

OKO UNOKUKWENZA

Zimisele ukulwamkela utshintsho. Ithetha ngabantwana abakhulileyo iBhayibhile ithi: “Indoda iya kumshiya uyise nonina.” (Genesis 2:24) Nina bazali, xa naniqeqesha abantwana benu nanifuna bakwazi ukuphila ngelo xesha, nibanceda babe nobuchule abaza kubusebenzisa xa benishiyile. Ukuba nikujonga ngale ndlela ukuphuma kwabantwana ekhaya, niya kuzidla ngomsebenzi eniwenzileyo.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Marko 10:7.

Asoze niyeke ukuba ngabazali babo. Ngoku anisabalawuli, kodwa niyabacebisa. Le nto inenza nisondelelane nabantwana benu ngoxa nani nikhathalelene. *Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Mateyu 19:6.

Ncokolani ngezinto ezinixhalabisayo. Mxelele umntu otshate naye indlela oziva ngayo ngendlela obutshintshe ngayo ubomi benu, ummamele nawe xa ekuxelela indlela aziva ngayo. Yiba nomonde futhi umcingele. Nisenokungakhawulezi niqhele ukwenza izinto kunye, kodwa qhubekani nizama.—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: 1 Korinte 13:4.

Khanikhangele izinto ezintsha eninokuzenza kunye. Ncokolani ngezinto enifuna ukuzenza kunye okanye eninomdla wokuzibona. Ekubeni ninabo ubulumko bokukhulisa abantwana, kutheni ningancedi abanye ngabo?—Umgaqo weBhayibhile: Yobhi 12:12.

Khawucing’ emva. Cinga ngeempawu ezakutsalayo komnye. Njengabantu abatshatileyo, khanicinge ngobomi enibuphile kunye neengxaki eniye nazoyisa. Ekugqibeleni, niya kubuvuyela obu bomi benu butsha. Phofu, ngoku ninethuba lokuphucula umtshato wenu nelokubuyisa olwaa thando lwanidibanisayo.

^ isiqe. 4 Itsho njalo incwadi ethi Emotional Infidelity.

^ isiqe. 12 Ukuba nisakhulisa abantwana, sanukulibala ukuba ‘ninyama-nye.’ (Marko 10:8) Abantwana baziva bekhuseleke nyhani xa bebona abazali babo bevana.