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UVUKANI! JULAYI 2013

 UKUNCEDA IINTSAPHO | UKUBA NGUMZALI

Oko Unokukwenza Xa Umntwana Wakho Enomsindo

Oko Unokukwenza Xa Umntwana Wakho Enomsindo

INGXAKI

Xa enomsindo, umntwana wakho oneminyaka emibini uyagxwala, akhabalaze aze athathe yonk’ into ephambi kwakhe ayiphose phantsi. Uyazibuza: ‘Ngaba kukho undonakele kumntwana wam? Ngaba ucatshukiswa ndim? Ngaba uya kuze ayiyeke le nto?’

Unako ukumqeqesha umntwana wakho ukuze ayiyeke le nto. Kodwa kuqala kuza kufuneka wazi isizathu sokuba abe nomsindo.

ISIZATHU SOKUBA OKU KUSENZEKA

Abantwana abakwazi ukulawula iimvakalelo zabo. Loo nto inokubenza babe nomsindo. Kodwa ke akuphelelanga apho.

Khawucinge ngotshintsho olwenzekayo emntwaneni xa ekwiminyaka emibini. Ukususela ekuzalweni kwakhe, abazali bebemenzela yonke into ayifunayo. Ngokomzekelo, ebekhala nje kube kanye, abazali bagilane ukuza kuye. ‘Ngaba uyagula? Ulambile? Akafuni kutshintshwa bethu?’ Abazali bebesenza konke okusemandleni abo ukuze umntwana onwabe, ibe bebefanele benjenjalo kuba umntwana uxhomekeke kubo ngento yonke.

Noko ke, xa emalunga neminyaka emibini, umntwana uye aphawule ukuba abazali abasamenzeli yonke into ayifunayo. Endaweni yokuba bamenzele yonke into ayifunayo, bafuna ibe nguye othobela imithetho yabo. Izinto zitshintshile, ibe usana oluminyaka mibini aluyiginyi ncam le nto, mhlawumbi yiloo nto lusenza izinto ngolu hlobo.

Ekuhambeni kwexesha, umntwana udla ngokufunda ukuba abazali asingobantu bokwenza izinto azifunayo kodwa ngabokumqeqesha. Mhlawumbi uza kude azi ukuba ufanele ‘athobele abazali.’ (Kolose 3:20) Noko ke, ebudeni beli xesha umntwana usenokuqalisa ukuba nomsindo, nto leyo enokubacaphukisa abazali bakhe.

 OKO UNOKUKWENZA

Yiba nolwazi. Umntwana wakho usemncinci. Ekubeni engekabi namava obomi, usenokucaphuka xa izinto zingenzeki ngendlela yakhe. Zama ukujonga imeko nganye ngendlela umntwana wakho ayibona ngayo.Umgaqo weBhayibhile: 1 Korinte 13:11.

Musa ukucaphuka. Xa umntwana wakho egqajukelwa ngumsindo, musa ukucaphuka. Zola kangangoko kunokwenzeka. Ukwazi isizathu sokuba umntwana abe nomsindo kuya kukunceda uhlale uzolile.Umgaqo weBhayibhile: IMizekeliso 19:11.

Musa ukumtefisa. Ukuba uyamtefisa umntwana wakho, usenokuqalisa ukuzifuna ngetshova izinto. Zola, uze ubonise umntwana wakho ukuba akuzukuva ngaye.Umgaqo weBhayibhile: ­Mateyu 5:37.

Yiba nomonde. Musa ukulindela ukuba umntwana wakho atshintshe ngokukhawuleza, ingakumbi ukuba ubusoloko ugoba uphondo xa efuna izinto ngetshova. Noko ke, umntwana usenokuqalisa ukuba nembeko xa ebona ukuba uyema kwinto oyithethayo. Ekuhambeni kwexesha uza kuyeka ukuba nomsindo. IBhayibhile ithi: “Uthando luzeka kade umsindo.”1 Korinte 13:4.

Nanga amanye amacebiso onokuwazama:

  • Xa umntwana eqalisa ukuba nomsindo, mbambe (ukuba kunokwenzeka) ukuze angakwazi ukuphosa izinto phantsi. Musa ukumngxolisa. Mlinde nje de azole. Ekugqibeleni uza kude abone ukuba umsindo awumenzeli nto.

  • Khetha indawo oza kumbeka kuyo umntwana xa enomsindo. Mxelele ukuba uya kuphuma apho xa ezolile, uze umshiye.

  • Ukuba uyenza le nto phambi kwabantu abaninzi, msuse phambi kwamehlo abantu. Musa ukumvumela enze unothanda kuba nje usonqena amehlo abantu. Loo nto iza kumenza acinge ukuba kufuneka azifune ngetshova ­izinto.

Ukwazi isizathu sokuba umntwana abe nomsindo kuza kukunceda uhlale uzolile