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ULUTSHA LUYABUZA

Ngaba Ndikulungele Ukuthandana?

Ngaba Ndikulungele Ukuthandana?

 Yintoni ukuthandana?

  • Kukho umfana okanye intombi osoloko uphuma nayo. Ngaba niyathandana?

  • Kukho intombi okanye umfana othile onomdla kuye naye unomdla kuwe. Umthumelela imiyalezo okanye umfowunele kaninzi ngosuku. Ngaba niyathandana?

  • Xa ukunye neetshomi zakho, ixesha elininzi uba kunye nale ntombi okanye lo mfana. Ngaba niyathandana?

Mhlawumbi umbuzo wokuqala ungawuphendula nje lula. Kodwa usenokuba uthe khinkxi ngaphambi kokuba uphendule owesibini nowesithathu. Kuyintoni kanye kanye ukuthandana?

Xa sithetha inyani, ukuthandana kuxa uthe swi ngumntu othile naye abe ethe swi nguwe.

Ngoko impendulo yale mibuzo yomithathu nguewe. Nokuba nincokola efowunini okanye ubuso ngobuso, phambi kwabantu okanye xa ninobabini, ukuba wena nentombi okanye umfana othile nineemvakalelo ezikhethekileyo yaye nisoloko nincokola kunye, niyathandana.

 Yintoni injongo yokuthandana?

Ukuthandana kumele kwenziwe ngenjongo efanelekileyo—ukunceda umfana nentombi babone enoba bayakufanelekela na ukutshata kunye.

Kuyavunywa ukuba kwabanye ootshomi bakho ukuthandana kusenokuba yinto nje yokuchitha ixesha. Mhlawumbi abanamdla wakutshata qha bavuyela nje ukuba netshomi eyintombazana okanye engumfana. Kwabanye loo tshomi isenokuba yinto nje yokuqhayisa ebantwini.

Amaxesh’ amanizi ubutshomi obunjalo abuhlali xesha lide. Enye intombazana egama linguHeather ithi, “Ulutsha oluninzi lwahlukana emva kweveki okanye ezimbini luthandana. Ukuthandana bakujonga njengento yokwexeshana—ebenza basoloko belindele ukwahlukana kunokutshata.”

Kucacile ukuba xa uthandana, uchukumisa iimvakalelo zaloo mntu uthandana naye. Ngoko qiniseka ukuba uneenjongo ezifanelekileyo.—Luka 6:31.

Ukuba uthandana ungenanjongo yokutshata, ufana nomntwana odlala ngethoyi aze aphinde ayilahle

Khawucinge: Ngaba ungathanda xa umntu edlala ngeemvakalelo zakho ekwenza ithoyi yakhe—adlale ngawe okwexeshana emva koko akulahle? Ngoko sukwenza loo nto komnye umntu! IBhayibhile ithi uthando “aluziphathi ngokungandilisekaga.”—1 Korinte 13:4, 5.

UChelsea oselula uthi: “Ngamany’ amaxesha ndiye ndicinge ukuba ukuthandana kumele kube yinto nje yokuzonwabisa, kodwa akubi njalo xa omnye ejonge emtshatweni abe omnye engekho kuloo nto.”

Icebiso: Xa ufuna ukukulungela ukuthandana nokutshata, funda eyesi-2 kaPetros 1:5-7 uze ukhangele uphawu olunye ofanele ube nalo. Kwisithuba esingangenyanga, bona ukuba ufunde waza waphucula kangakanani kolo phawu.

 Ngaba ndimdala ngokwaneleyo ukuba ndithandane?

  •  Ucinga ukuba oselula ufanele athandane xa eneminyaka emingaphi?

  •  Khawubuze omnye wabazali bakho.

Kusenokwenzeka ukuba impendulo yakho yahlukile kweyabo. Okanye ziyafana! Kusenokwenzeka ukuba ungomnye wabaselula abafuna ukuthandana xa sele bebadala ngokwaneleyo, beqinisekile ngento abayifunayo.

Yiloo nto eyenziwa nguDanielle oneminyaka eyi-17. Uthi: “Into endandiyifuna kumntu endiza kutshata naye kwiminyaka emibini edluleyo yahluke gqitha kuleyo ndiyifunayo ngoku. Phofu nangoku andizithembi ukuba ndingasenza kakuhle eso sigqibo. Ndiya kucinga ngokuthandana xa ndibona ukuba ndizinzile.”

Kukho esinye isizathu sokuba kububulumko ukulinda. Xa ichaza ixesha laxa iimvakalelo zomfana okanye zentombi zivutha ngamandla, iBhayibhile ithi elo xesha ‘yintlahla yobutsha.’ (1 Korinte 7:36) Ukusondelelana nentombi okanye umfana ngoxa ukule minyaka, kunokuyandisa le minqweno kuze kukhokelele ekuziphatheni okubi.

Liyinyaniso elokuba leyo isenokuba yinto engenamsebenzi kootshomi bakho. Abaninzi babo basenokuba banomdla wokwazi ukuba kujani ukulala nentombi okanye umfana. Kodwa ufanele ungacingi ngaloo ndlela wena! (Roma 12:2) Ngapha koko, iBhayibhile ithi “kubalekeni ukuziphatha okubi ngokwesini.” (1 Korinte 6:18, iNew International Version) Xa ulinda de udlule kwintlahla yobutsha, ‘unokuyinqanda intlekele.’—INtshumayeli 11:10.

 Kutheni ndimele ndilinde?

Ukunyanzelwa ukuba uthandane ngaphambi kokuba ukulungele kuya kufana nokunyanzelwa ukuba ubhale iimviwo zento ongakhange uyifunde. Yinkqatho leyo! Kufuneka ube nexesha lokufunda ukuze uzazi izinto ezinokukuxaka xa ubhala iimviwo.

Kuyafana ke nokuthandana.

Ukuthandana akuyonto ingenamsebenzi. Ngoko ngaphambi kokuba uthandane, kufuneka uziphe ixesha lokufunda eyona nto ibalulekileyo—indlela yokuzenzela abahlobo.

Kamva, xa udibana nomntu ofanelekayo, uya kukwazi ukwakha ubuhlobo obungagungqiyo kunye naye. Umtshato ophumelelayo ngowabahlobo ababini bokwenene.

Ukulinda ixeshana ngaphambi kokuba uthandane akuyi kukwenza ungonwabi. Ngokwahlukileyo koko, kuya kukunika inkululeko engakumbi ‘yokuba nemihlali ngobutsha bakho.’ (INtshumayeli 11:9) Uya kuba nexesha elaneleyo lokulungisa ubuntu bakho, yaye okona kubaluleke nangakumbi, ulwalamano lwakho noThixo.—IZililo 3:27.

Okwangoku, unako ukuba ngumhlobo nabafana okanye amantombazana. Yiyiphi eyona ndlela yokwenza oko? Citha ixesha nabantu, abancinane nabadala. Enye intombazana egama linguTammy ithi: “Kuba mnandi xa kunjalo. Kubhetele ube nabahlobo abaninzi.” UMonica uyavuma kuba uthi: “Kumnandi ukuba phakathi kweqela labantu kuba ubona iimpawu zabo ezahlukahlukeneyo.”

Ngokwahlukileyo koko, ukuba ingqondo yakho ikhawuleza ibe semntwini omnye, uya kuba uyazichana. Ngoko sukungxama. Sebenzisa eli xesha ekufundeni indlela yokuzenzela abahlobo nokungabalahli. Ekuhambeni kwexesha, ukuba ufuna ukuthandana, uya kube uzazi kakuhle yaye usazi neempawu ozifunayo kulowo ufuna ukutshata naye.

 

Funda Okungakumbi

Ngaba Lo Mntu Undifanele?

Ungazivelela njani zonke iinkalo uze ubone ukuba lo mntu unjani kanye-kanye?