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IBIBAZO URUBYIRUKO RWIBAZA

Ni iki nkwiriye kumenya ku ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina?—Igice cya 2: Gukira ibikomere

Ni iki nkwiriye kumenya ku ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina?—Igice cya 2: Gukira ibikomere

 Kumva wicira urubanza

Abenshi mu bantu bakorewe ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina, baterwa ipfunwe n’ibyababayeho. Hari nubwo bumva barabigizemo uruhare. Iyumvire ibya Karen, ufite imyaka 19, wahohotewe igihe yari afite imyaka iri hagati ya 6 na 13. Agira ati “ikibazo gikomeye mpanganye na cyo ni ukumva nicira urubanza. Njya ntekereza nti ‘ariko ubundi kuki nemeye ko nkomeza guhohoterwa igihe kingana gityo?’”

Niba ari uko ujya wiyumva, suzuma ibi bikurikira:

  • Ubundi, umubiri w’abana n’ibitekerezo byabo, ntibiba byiteguye gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina. Ntibaba bumva icyo gukora imibonano mpuzambitsina bikubiyemo kandi baba bataragera igihe cyo gufata umwanzuro wo kuyikora babyishakiye. Ubwo rero, mu gihe umwana yakorewe ihohoterwa, si ikosa rye.

  • Ubusanzwe, abana bizera abantu bakuru kandi ntibabasha gutahura amayeri y’abantu babi, ari na byo bituma bakorerwa ihohoterwa. Hari igitabo cyagize kiti “abantu bahohotera abana bagira akarimi karyoshye, kandi umwana aba akiri muto ku buryo atabasha gutahura amayeri yabo.”—The Right to Innocence.

  • Igihe umwana akorewe ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina, irari rye ry’ibitsina rishobora kuzamuka. Niba ibyo byarakubayeho, zirikana ko ari ibintu bisanzwe biba ku mubiri w’umuntu kandi byikora, igihe cyose hagize umukoraho mu buryo runaka. Ntibishatse kuvuga ko wahohotewe ubishaka cyangwa ko wabigizemo uruhare.

Igitekerezo: Fata akanya utekereze ku mwana ubu ufite imyaka nk’iyo wari ufite igihe wakorerwaga ihohoterwa. Ibaze uti “ese nk’ubu uyu mwana akorewe ihohoterwa, byaba bikwiriye kumva ko ari we nyirabayazana w’ibimubayeho?”

Ibyo Karen yigeze kubitekerezaho igihe yakoraga akazi ko kurera abana batatu, umwe muri bo akaba yari afite hafi imyaka itandatu, mbese nk’iyo Karen yari afite igihe yakorerwaga ihohoterwa. Karen agira ati “niboneye ukuntu umwana uri muri icyo kigero aba ashobora guhohoterwa, bituma niyumvisha ukuntu nanjye nta cyo nari gukora igihe nari mfite iyo myaka.”

Ukuri: Ibyakubayeho biri ku mutwe w’uwaguhohoteye. Bibiliya igira iti “ububi bw’umuntu mubi buzamugaruka.”—Ezekiyeli 18:20.

 Akamaro ko kugira uwo ubwira ibyakubayeho

Kugira umuntu mukuru wizeye ubwira ibyakubayeho, bishobora kugufasha. Bibiliya igira iti “incuti nyakuri igukunda igihe cyose, kandi ikubera umuvandimwe mu gihe cy’amakuba.”—Imigani 17:17.

Birumvikana ko hari ubwo ushobora kuba wumva guceceka ntuvuge ibyakubayeho, ari byo biguha amahoro. Ushobora kuba wumva ko guceceka, ari nk’urukuta wubatse rukurinda kubabazwa cyane n’ibyakubayeho. Ariko ukwiriye kuzirikana ko urwo rukuta rukurinda kubabazwa n’ibyakubayeho, nanone rushobora gutuma utabona ubufasha.

Urukuta rukurinda kubabazwa n’ibyakubayeho, nanone rushobora gutuma utabona ubufasha

Umukobwa witwa Janet yiboneye ko kuvuga ibyamubayeho igihe yakorerwaga ihohoterwa, byamugiriye akamaro cyane. Yagize ati “nkiri muto, nahohotewe n’umuntu nari nzi kandi nizeraga, nuko mara imyaka myinshi nararyumyeho. Ariko igihe nabibwiraga mama, numvise ntuye umutwaro wari undemereye cyane.”

Iyo Janet ashubije amaso inyuma, bituma yiyumvisha impamvu hari bamwe batinya kuvuga ibyababayeho. Agira ati “kuvuga ko wakorewe ihohoterwa bitera ipfunwe. Ariko nkurikije ibyambayeho, gukomeza kubiceceka ni byo byambereye bibi. Kubivuga hakiri kare ni byo byari kuba byiza.”

 ‘Igihe cyo gukira’

Gukorerwa ihohoterwa rishingiye ku gitsina, bishobora kugusigira imitekerereze idakwiriye, wenda nko kumva ko wangiritse, ko nta cyo umaze cyangwa ko ubereyeho kumara abandi irari ry’ibitsina. Ariko kandi, iki ni cyo gihe cyo kwikuramo iyo mitekerereze itari yo, ‘ugakira’ (Umubwiriza 3:3). Ni iki wakora ngo ubigereho?

Kwiga Bibiliya. Bibiliya ikubiyemo ibitekerezo byaturutse ku Mana, kandi bifite ‘imbaraga . . . zisenya ibintu byashinze imizi,’ hakubiyemo na ya mitekerereze idakwiriye yo kumva ko nta gaciro ufite (2 Abakorinto 10:4, 5). Urugero, soma iyi mirongo y’Ibyanditswe kandi uyitekerezeho: Yesaya 41:10; Yeremiya 31:3; Malaki 3:16, 17; Luka 12:6, 7; 1 Yohana 3:19, 20.

Isengesho. Mu gihe wumva nta gaciro ufite cyangwa wicira urubanza, ujye usenga Yehova ‘umwikoreze umutwaro wawe’ (Zaburi 55:22). Nturi wenyine.

Abasaza b’itorero. Abo bagabo b’Abakristo batojwe kuba “nk’aho kwikinga umuyaga n’aho kugama imvura y’amahindu” (Yesaya 32:2). Bashobora kugufasha ntukomeze kwitekerezaho mu buryo budakwiriye kandi bakagufasha ubuzima bugakomeza.

Incuti nziza. Jya witegereza abagabo n’abagore bafite imico myiza ya gikristo. Jya ureba uko babanye. Amaherezo, uzabona ko atari ko abantu bose bahohotera abo bavuga ko bakunda.

Umukobwa witwa Tanya na we yarabyiboneye. Kuva akiri muto, yakorewe ihohoterwa n’abagabo batandukanye. Yagize ati “ikibabaje ni uko abampohohoteye bari abantu banjye ba bugufi.” Icyakora, igihe cyaje kugera Tanya amenya ko burya hari abagabo baba bakunda umuntu nta buryarya. Yabimenye ate?

Igihe yabaga incuti y’umuryango w’umugabo n’umugore bari bafite imico myiza ya gikristo, ni bwo yahinduye uko yabonaga ibintu. Agira ati “nitegereje ibikorwa by’uwo mugabo maze mbona ko atari ko abagabo bose bahohotera abandi. Umugabo arinda umugore we, kandi ibyo ni ko Imana yari yarabiteganyije.” *Abefeso 5:28, 29.

^ par. 27 Niba hari ibibazo uhanganye na byo, urugero nko kumva wihebye, kugira ibibazo mu mirire, kwibabaza, gakoresha ibiyobyabwenge, ikibazo cy’ibitotsi, cyangwa ukumva wakwiyahura, byaba byiza wiyambaje umuganga w’inzobere muri byo.