“Umugozi w’inyabutatu ntucika vuba.”​—UMUBWIRIZA 4:12.

1, 2. (a) Ni ibihe bibazo dushobora kwibaza ku birebana n’abantu baba bakimara gushyingiranwa, kandi kuki? (b) Ni ibihe bibazo turi busuzume muri iki gice?

ESE ukunda gutaha ubukwe? Abenshi barabikunda kuko ibihe nk’ibyo bijya bishimisha cyane. Usanga abageni bambaye, baberewe. Uretse n’ibyo kandi, ubona na bo ubwabo bishimye pe! Kuri uwo munsi, baba bishimye cyane kandi uba ubona bazagira ishya n’ihirwe.

2 Ariko kandi, tugomba kwemera ko muri iki gihe hari ibintu byinshi bigaragaza ko ishyingiranwa riri mu mazi abira. Nubwo tuba twifuriza abamaze kurushinga kuzagira urugo ruhire, rimwe na rimwe dushobora kwibaza tuti “ese mama bazagira ibyishimo mu ishyingiranwa ryabo? Ese aho bazabana akaramata?” Ibyo bizaterwa n’uko umugabo n’umugore baziringira inama zirebana n’ishyingiranwa zituruka ku Mana, kandi bakazishyira mu bikorwa. (Soma mu Migani 3:5, 6.) Ibyo ni ngombwa kugira ngo bagume mu rukundo rw’Imana. Reka noneho twibande ku bisubizo Bibiliya itanga kuri ibi bibazo bine: ni izihe mpamvu zagombye gutuma umuntu ashaka? Mu gihe ugiye gushaka, ni nde wagombye guhitamo gushyingiranwa na we? Wakwitegura ute ishyingiranwa? Ni iki cyafasha abashyingiranywe gukomeza kubana bishimye?

NI IZIHE MPAMVU ZAGOMBYE GUTUMA UMUNTU ASHAKA?

3. Kuki bidakwiriye ko umuntu ashaka abitewe n’impamvu zidahwitse?

3 Hari abantu bibwira ko ari ngombwa gushaka kugira ngo  umuntu agire ibyishimo, bagatekereza ko umuntu utarashatse adashobora kunyurwa cyangwa kugira ibyishimo mu buzima. Ibyo ni ukwibeshya rwose! Yesu, wari ingaragu, yavuze ko gukomeza kuba ingaragu ari impano, kandi yashishikarije abashoboraga kwemera ubwo buzima kubwemera (Matayo 19:11, 12). Intumwa Pawulo na we yasobanuye ibyiza byo kuba ingaragu (1 Abakorinto 7:32-38). Icyakora ari Yesu cyangwa Pawulo, nta n’umwe washyizeho itegeko ryo kudashaka. Mu by’ukuri, ‘kubuzanya gushyingiranwa’ byashyizwe ku rutonde rw’ ‘inyigisho z’abadayimoni’ (1 Timoteyo 4:1-3). Ariko kandi, kuba ingaragu bifitiye akamaro kenshi abantu bashaka gukorera Yehova badafite ikibarangaza. Bityo rero, ntibyaba bikwiriye umuntu agiye gushaka abitewe n’impamvu zidahwitse, wenda abitewe n’uko abona abo bangana barashatse.

4. Ishyingiranwa ryiza rigira uruhe ruhare ku burere bw’abana?

4 Ariko se haba hari impamvu zumvikana zatuma umuntu ashaka? Zirahari rwose. Ishyingiranwa na ryo ni impano ikomoka ku Mana yacu yuje urukundo. (Soma mu Ntangiriro 2:18.) Bityo rero, rifite ibyiza byaryo kandi rishobora no kuba isoko y’ibyishimo byinshi. Urugero, ishyingiranwa ryiza ni ngombwa ku bantu bifuza kubyara bakagira umuryango. Abana baba bakeneye kurererwa mu muryango urimo ababyeyi babanye neza, babakunda, babaha inama kandi bakabahana (Zaburi 127:3; Abefeso 6:1-4). Icyakora, kubyara abana ukanabarera si yo mpamvu yonyine yagombye gutuma abantu bashaka.

5, 6. (a) Dukurikije ibivugwa mu Mubwiriza 4:9-12, ni izihe nyungu zifatika zizanwa no kugirana ubucuti bukomeye? (b) Ni mu buhe buryo ishyingiranwa rishobora kumera nk’umugozi w’inyabutatu?

5 Reka dusuzume amagambo agize umurongo w’ifatizo w’iki gice, turebe n’indi mirongo iwukikije. Iyo mirongo igira iti “ababiri baruta umwe, kuko babona ingororano nziza y’imirimo bakorana umwete. Kuko iyo umwe muri bo aguye, undi aramuhagurutsa. Ariko se bizagendekera bite umuntu umwe ugwa adafite uwo kumuhagurutsa? Nanone kandi, iyo ababiri baryamanye barasusurukirwa; ariko se umuntu umwe  yasusurukirwa ate? Niyo umuntu yanesha umwe, ababiri bamunanira, kandi umugozi w’inyabutatu ntucika vuba.”​—Umubwiriza 4:9-12.

6 Uyu murongo ugaragaza mbere na mbere agaciro ko kugirana ubucuti. Birumvikana kandi ko mu ishyingiranwa ari ho abantu bagirana ubucuti bukomeye cyane kurusha ubundi. Nk’uko uyu murongo ubigaragaza, umugabo n’umugore bashobora gufashanya, bagahumurizanya kandi umwe akabera undi uburinzi. Ishyingiranwa rirushaho guhama iyo hagize ikindi kintu cyiyongeramo. Nk’uko uwo murongo ubyumvikanisha, umugozi w’inyabubiri ushobora gucika. Ariko umugozi w’inyabutatu wo uba ukomeye cyane ku buryo udapfa gucika. Iyo umugabo n’umugore baharanira mbere na mbere gushimisha Yehova, ishyingiranwa ryabo riba rimeze nk’umugozi w’inyabutatu. Yehova na we aba ari umwe mu bagize iryo shyingiranwa. Icyo gihe riba rikomeye rwose!

7, 8. (a) Ni iyihe nama Pawulo yandikiye Abakristo batarashaka baba bahanganye n’irari ry’ibitsina? (b) Ni mu buhe buryo bushyize mu gaciro Bibiliya igaragazamo ishyingiranwa?

7 Nanone, mu ishyingiranwa ni ho honyine irari ry’ibitsina rishobora guhazwa mu buryo bukwiriye. Ku bashyingiranywe, imibonano mpuzabitsina ni isoko y’ibyishimo, kandi birakwiriye (Imigani 5:18). Nubwo umuntu utarashaka yaba yararenze igihe Bibiliya yita icy’ “amabyiruka,” igihe irari ry’ibitsina riba ari ryinshi, ashobora gukomeza guhangana n’irari ry’ibitsina. Umuntu aramutse atifashe, iryo rari rishobora gutuma yadukwaho n’imyitwarire mibi cyangwa idakwiriye. Pawulo yarahumekewe maze yandika inama ireba abantu batarashaka agira ati “niba badashoboye kwifata, nibashake, kuko ibyiza ari ugushaka kuruta kugurumanishwa n’iruba.”​—1 Abakorinto 7:9, 36; Yakobo 1:15.

8 Uko impamvu zatuma umuntu ashaka zaba ziri kose, ni byiza gushyira mu gaciro. Nk’uko Pawulo yabivuze, abashyingiranwa “bazagira imibabaro mu mubiri wabo” (1 Abakorinto 7:28). Abantu bashatse bahura n’ibibazo bikomeye abatarashaka badahura na byo. Ariko se mu gihe waba uhisemo gushaka, wakora  iki kugira ngo ugabanye ibibazo maze urusheho kugira ibyishimo kandi unyurwe? Uburyo bumwe ni uguhitamo neza uwo muzabana.

NI NDE WAKUBERA UMUGABO CYANGWA UMUGORE MWIZA?

9, 10. (a) Ni uruhe rugero Pawulo yatanze agaragaza akaga gaterwa no kugirana ubucuti bukomeye n’abatizera? (b) Ni izihe ngaruka zikunze guterwa no kwirengagiza inama yatanzwe n’Imana yo kudashyingiranwa n’umuntu utizera?

9 Pawulo yarahumekewe maze yandika ihame ry’ingenzi umuntu yashingiraho ahitamo uwo bazabana. Yaranditse ati “ntimukifatanye n’abatizera kuko mudahuje” (2 Abakorinto 6:14). Urugero yatanze rwari rushingiye ku bintu bikorwa mu buhinzi. Iyo amatungo abiri atanganya ubunini n’imbaraga afatanyishijwe umugogo umwe, yombi arahazaharira. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, iyo umuntu wizera ashyingiranywe n’utizera, byanze bikunze hari ibintu batumvikanaho. Iyo umwe ashatse kuguma mu rukundo rwa Yehova undi ntabihe agaciro cyangwa akumva nta cyo bimubwiye, ibintu bashyira mu mwanya wa mbere mu mibereho yabo biratandukana kandi ibyo bishobora kubakururira imibabaro myinshi. Ni yo mpamvu Pawulo yateye Abakristo inkunga yo gushyingiranwa n’ “uri mu Mwami gusa.”​—1 Abakorinto 7:39.

10 Hari Abakristo batarashaka bibwira ko gushakana n’utizera biruta gukomeza kuba mu bwigunge barimo ubu. Hari abahitamo kwirengagiza iyo nama ya Bibiliya, bagashyingiranwa n’umuntu udakorera Yehova. Incuro nyinshi, ibyo bigira ingaruka zibabaje. Bene abo bantu basanga barashakanye n’umuntu badashobora kuganira ibintu by’ingenzi kurusha ibindi mu buzima. Ubwigunge ibyo bibatera bushobora kuba buruta kure ubwo bari barimo mbere yo gushaka. Ariko igishimishije ni uko hari Abakristo batarashaka babarirwa mu bihumbi biringira inama Imana yatanze kuri icyo kibazo kandi bakayikurikiza. (Soma muri Zaburi ya 32:8.) Nubwo bifuza gushaka, bakomeza gutegereza kugeza igihe baboneye uwo bazabana mu basenga Yehova Imana.

11. Ni iki cyagufasha guhitamo neza uwo muzabana? (Reba n’agasanduku gafite umutwe uvuga ngo “ Ni ibiki nifuza ko uwo tuzabana yaba yujuje?”)

 11 Birumvikana ko atari buri mugaragu wa Yehova wese ushobora kuba umugabo cyangwa umugore ukwiriye. Ku bw’ibyo, niba utekereza gushaka, shaka umuntu ufite kamere ushobora kwihanganira, umuntu mufite intego zimwe zo mu buryo bw’umwuka kandi ukunda Imana nk’uko uyikunda. Ku birebana n’iyo ngingo, umugaragu wizerwa kandi w’umunyabwenge yaduhaye inama nyinshi dushobora gutekerezaho, kandi byaba byiza ugiye usuzuma izo nama zishingiye ku Byanditswe ukabishyira no mu isengesho, ukareka zikakuyobora mu gihe ufata uwo mwanzuro ukomeye. *​—Soma muri Zaburi ya 119:105.

12. Ni uwuhe muco urebana n’ishyingiranwa ugikurikizwa mu bihugu byinshi, kandi se ni uruhe rugero rwo muri Bibiliya rugaragaza uko byakorwa?

12 Mu bihugu byinshi, umuco wemerera ababyeyi guhitiramo umwana wabo uwo bazabana. Muri iyo mico, abantu muri rusange baba bemera ko ababyeyi bafite ubwenge bwinshi kandi ko ari inararibonye ku buryo bashobora guhitamo neza uwo muntu. Incuro nyinshi, ingo zishinzwe muri ubwo buryo ziba nziza, nk’uko byagiye bigenda mu bihe bya Bibiliya. Urugero rwa Aburahamu wohereje umugaragu we gushakira Isaka umugore, rushobora kugira icyo rwigisha ababyeyi bari mu mimerere nk’iyo muri iki gihe. Icyari gihangayikishije Aburahamu si umutungo n’urwego rw’imibereho by’umuryango yari agiye gushakiramo Isaka umugeni. Ahubwo yashyizeho imihati myinshi kugira ngo abonere Isaka umugore mu bwoko bwasengaga Yehova. *​—Intangiriro 24:3, 67.

 WAKORA IKI KUGIRA NGO UZAGIRE ISHYINGIRANWA RYIZA?

13-15. (a) Ni mu buhe buryo ihame riboneka mu Migani 24:27 rishobora gufasha umusore witegura kurushinga? (b) Umukobwa yakora iki mu gihe yitegura gushaka?

13 Niba koko utekereza gushaka, byaba byiza wibajije uti “ese nditeguye koko?” Igisubizo ntigishingiye ku byo utekereza ku birebana n’urukundo, imibonano mpuzabitsina, kugira umuntu mubana cyangwa kubyara abana no kubarera. Ahubwo, hari intego zihariye umugabo cyangwa umugore witeguye gushaka yagombye gutekerezaho.

14 Umusore ushaka umugore yagombye gutekereza yitonze kuri iri hame rigira riti “tegura imirimo yawe yo hanze, utunganye imirimo yo mu murima wawe, hanyuma uzubake n’urugo rwawe” (Imigani 24:27). Igitekerezo cy’ingenzi kirimo ni ikihe? Mu gihe Bibiliya yandikwaga, iyo umugabo yabaga ashaka gushinga umuryango, yagombaga kwibaza ati “ese niteguye kwita ku mugore no kumutunga we n’abana dushobora kuzabyara?” Yagombaga kubanza agakora, akita ku mirima cyangwa ku myaka yo mu mirima. Iryo hame n’ubu rirakurikizwa. Umugabo wifuza gushaka agomba kwitegura kuzasohoza iyo nshingano. Igihe cyose afite amagara mazima, aba agomba gukora. Ijambo ry’Imana rigaragaza ko umugabo utita ku byo abagize umuryango we bakeneye kandi ntiyite ku byiyumvo byabo no ku byo bakeneye mu buryo bw’umwuka, aba ari mubi cyane hanyuma y’utizera.​—Soma muri 1 Timoteyo 5:8.

15 Umukobwa uhisemo gushaka umugabo na we aba yemeye gusohoza inshingano zimwe na zimwe ziremereye. Bibiliya ishimagiza ubuhanga n’imico imwe n’imwe umugore agomba kuba afite kugira ngo afashe umugabo we kandi yite ku rugo rwe (Imigani 31:10-31). Abagabo n’abagore bihutira gushaka batabanje kwitegura inshingano z’umuryango baba bikunda, badatekereza ku cyo bashobora kungura uwo bazabana. Ariko kandi, icy’ingenzi kurushaho ni uko abateganya kurushinga baba bagomba kwitegura mu buryo bw’umwuka.

16, 17. Ni ayahe mahame ari mu Byanditswe abitegura gushyingiranwa bagombye gutekerezaho?

16 Mu kwitegura gushaka hakubiyemo no gutekereza ku nshingano  Imana yahaye umugabo n’umugore. Umugabo aba agomba kumenya icyo kuba umutware mu muryango ugizwe n’Abakristo bisobanura. Iyo nshingano ntiha umugabo uburenganzira bwo gutegekesha igitugu. Ahubwo, agomba kwigana uburyo Yesu yakoreshaga ubutware bwe (Abefeso 5:23). Mu buryo nk’ubwo, umugore w’Umukristo agomba kwiyumvisha inshingano yiyubashye y’umugore. Ese azagandukira “itegeko ry’umugabo we” abikunze (Abaroma 7:2)? Umugore aba asanzwe agengwa n’amategeko ya Yehova hamwe n’aya Kristo (Abagalatiya 6:2). Ubutware bw’umugabo we mu rugo na bwo ni irindi tegeko. Ese ashobora gushyigikira ubutware bw’umugabo udatunganye kandi akamugandukira? Niba yumva atazabishobora, byaba byiza abaye aretse gushaka.

17 Ikindi kandi, buri mugabo cyangwa umugore agomba kuba yiteguye kwita ku bintu byihariye mugenzi we akeneye. (Soma mu Bafilipi 2:4.) Pawulo yaranditse ati “umuntu wese muri mwe abe ari ko akunda umugore we nk’uko yikunda; ku rundi ruhande, umugore agomba kubaha cyane umugabo we.” Pawulo ahumekewe n’Imana yasobanukiwe ko umugabo aba ashaka kwiyumvamo ko umugore we amwubaha cyane. Kandi umugore na we aba ashaka kwiyumvamo ko umugabo we amukunda cyane.​—Abefeso 5:21-33.

Mu gihe cyo kurambagizanya, abasore n’inkumi benshi bahitamo kuba bari hamwe n’undi muntu

18. Kuki abasore n’inkumi barambagizanya bagombye kugira umuco wo kumenya kwifata?

18 Ku bw’ibyo, igihe cyo kurambagizanya si igihe cyo kwinezeza. Ahubwo ni igihe umugabo n’umugore baba bagomba gusuzuma niba bazashobokana, bakareba niba bakwiriye gushyingiranwa. Nanone ni igihe cyo kumenya kwifata. Bashobora kwifuza cyane kugaragarizanya urukundo mu buryo bwemerewe gusa abashakanye. Kandi koko iyo abantu bakundana cyane ni ko bimera. Icyakora, abantu bakundana by’ukuri birinda igikorwa cyose cyakwangiza imishyikirano uwo bakunda afitanye n’Imana (1 Abatesalonike 4:6). Ku bw’ibyo, niba urimo urambagiza cyangwa urambagizwa, jya umenya kwifata. Uwo muco ushobora kuzakugirira akamaro mu buzima bwawe bwose, washaka cyangwa utashaka.

 WAKORA IKI KUGIRA NGO UZABANE AKARAMATA N’UWO MUZASHAKANA?

19, 20. Ni mu buhe buryo uko Umukristo abona ishyingiranwa byagombye kuba bitandukanye n’uko abantu benshi baribona muri iki gihe? Tanga urugero.

19 Kugira ngo umusore n’inkumi bazabane akaramata, bagomba gusobanukirwa neza icyo kwiyemeza ari cyo. Inkuru zo mu bitabo na filimi zivuga iby’urukundo, zirangira umusore n’inkumi bashyingiranywe, bishimye cyane nk’uko abantu bose babyifuza. Ariko mu buzima busanzwe, ishyingiranwa si iherezo; ahubwo ni intangiriro ya gahunda Yehova yashyizeho ateganya ko umugabo n’umugore bazabana akaramata (Intangiriro 2:24). Ikibabaje ni uko muri iki gihe atari ko abantu bose babibona. Mu mico imwe n’imwe, abantu babona ko gushaka ari nko “gupfundika ipfundo.” Bashobora kuba batiyumvisha ukuntu urwo rugero rugaragaza neza uko abantu muri rusange babona ishyingiranwa. Kuki twabivuga dutyo? Ipfundo ryiza rishobora gukomera igihe cyose bikenewe. Ariko nanone, ipfundo ryiza, ni iryo umuntu ashobora gupfundika akanaripfundura bitamugoye.

20 Muri iki gihe abantu benshi babona ko ishyingiranwa riba rigomba kumara igihe gito. Bashakana babyishimiye cyane, batekereza ko ishyingiranwa ryabo rizatuma babona ibyo bakeneye byose, ariko baba baniteze ko nibahura n’ibibazo bazahita batandukana. Icyakora, wibuke ko iyo Bibiliya ivuga ubumwe nk’ububa hagati y’abashakanye ikoresha ijambo “umugozi.” Imigozi bazirikisha imyenda y’amato iba yaraboshywe neza ku buryo iramba, ntihambuke nubwo haba hari inkubi ikaze y’umuyaga. Mu buryo nk’ubwo, Yehova yashyizeho gahunda y’ishyingiranwa ateganya ko rizaramba. Ibuka amagambo Yesu yavuze agira ati “icyo Imana yateranyirije hamwe ntihakagire umuntu ugitandukanya” (Matayo 19:6). Iyo umaze gushaka, uba ugomba kubona ishyingiranwa nk’uko uwo murongo ubivuga. Ese ibyo bivuze ko ishyingiranwa ari umutwaro? Oya.

21. Ni iyihe myifatire umugabo n’umugore bagomba kugaragaza, kandi se ni iki cyabafasha kubigenza batyo?

21 Umugabo agomba gukomeza kubona umugore we mu buryo bukwiriye, kandi n’umugore agomba kubigenza atyo. Buri  wese nakomeza kwibanda ku mico myiza ndetse no ku mihati undi ashyiraho, ishyingiranwa ryabo rizaba isoko y’ibyishimo kandi ribagarurire ubuyanja. Ese twaba dukabije turamutse twiteze ibintu byiza ku wo twashakanye udatunganye? Yehova ntajya yitega ibintu bidashoboka. Nyamara tuba twiringiye ko abona ibyiza dukora. Umwanditsi wa Zaburi yarabajije ati “Yah Yehova, uramutse ugenzuye amakosa, ni nde wahagarara adatsinzwe” (Zaburi 130:3)? Abagabo n’abagore na bo bakwiriye kujya bita ku byiza bakorerana kandi bakababarirana.​—Soma mu Bakolosayi 3:13.

22, 23. Ni mu buhe buryo Aburahamu na Sara basigiye urugero rwiza abashakanye muri iki gihe?

 22 Uko imyaka abashakanye bamaranye igenda yiyongera, ni ko ishyingiranwa ryabo rishobora kurushaho kubabera isoko y’ibyishimo no kunyurwa. Bibiliya itubwira iby’ishyingiranwa rya Aburahamu na Sara igihe bari bageze mu za bukuru. Ntibaburaga guhura n’ingorane n’ibibazo bikomeye. Gerageza kwiyumvisha uko Sara, umugore wari mu kigero y’imyaka 60, yumvise ameze ubwo yasigaga urugo rwe rwarimo ibintu byose mu mugi wari ukungahaye wa Uri, maze agatangira kuba mu mahema ubuzima bwe bwose. Nubwo byari bimeze bityo ariko, yakomeje kugandukira ubutware bw’umugabo we. Kubera ko yari umufasha nyakuri wa Aburahamu, yaramwubahaga kandi akamufasha kugira ngo imyanzuro ye igire icyo igeraho. Kandi yagandukaga abikuye ku mutima. Ndetse “mu mutima we” yemeraga ko umugabo we yari umutware we (Intangiriro 18:12; 1 Petero 3:6). Yubahaga Aburahamu abikuye ku mutima.

23 Birumvikana ko ibyo bidashaka kuvuga ko Aburahamu na Sara bahoraga babona ibintu kimwe. Hari igihe Sara yatanze igitekerezo ‘cyababaje Aburahamu cyane.’ Ariko kandi, Aburahamu yakurikije amabwiriza yahawe na Yehova maze yumvira umugore we yicishije bugufi, kandi ibyo byabereye umuryango wose umugisha (Intangiriro 21:9-13). Muri iki gihe, abagabo n’abagore, ndetse n’abamaze imyaka ibarirwa muri za mirongo bashakanye, bashobora kwigira byinshi kuri uwo mugabo n’umugore we bubahaga Imana.

24. Ishyingiranwa rihesha Yehova Imana icyubahiro ni irimeze rite, kandi kuki?

24 Mu itorero rya gikristo, hari abagabo n’abagore bashakanye babarirwa mu bihumbi bishimye. Muri iyo miryango, umugore agandukira umugabo we cyane, umugabo na we agakunda umugore we kandi akamwubaha, bose bagashyira mu mwanya wa mbere gukora ibyo Yehova ashaka bunze ubumwe. Niba ufashe umwanzuro wo gushaka, byaba byiza uhisemo neza uwo muzabana, ukitegura neza ishyingiranwa ryawe, kandi ugakora uko ushoboye kugira ngo urugo rwawe ruzarangwe n’amahoro n’urukundo, bityo uheshe Yehova Imana icyubahiro. Nubigenza utyo, ishyingiranwa ryawe rizagufasha kuguma mu rukundo rw’Imana.

^ par. 11 Reba igice cya 2 cy’igitabo Ibanga ryo kugira ibyishimo mu muryango, cyanditswe n’Abahamya ba Yehova.

^ par. 12 Hari abakurambere b’indahemuka bari bafite abagore barenze umwe. Igihe Yehova yagiranaga imishyikirano n’abo bakurambere hamwe n’ishyanga rya Isirayeli, yarabaretse bakomeza gutunga abagore benshi. Si we watangije ibyo gushaka abagore benshi, ahubwo yashyizeho amategeko abigenga. Icyakora, Abakristo bazirikana ko Yehova atacyemera ko abamusenga bagira abagore benshi.​—Matayo 19:9; 1 Timoteyo 3:2.