Soma ibirimo

Jya kuri meni ya kabiri

Reba urutonde rw'ibirimo

Abahamya ba Yehova

Ikinyarwanda

Umunara w’Umurinzi  |  Nyakanga 2014

Wagombye guhana abana bawe ute?

Wagombye guhana abana bawe ute?

“Uko numvaga imodoka ihise, nagiraga ngo araje. Bwari ubwa gatatu Jordan arenza isaha yo gutaha. Naribazaga nti ‘ubu koko ari he? Ese ubu nta bwoba afite? Ese nta nubwo atekereza ko duhangayitse?’ Yagiye kuhagera numva umutima ugiye guturika.”​—GEORGE.

“Umukobwa wanjye yavugije induru numva ubwoba buranyishe. Narahindukiye mbona yifashe mu mutwe kandi arira cyane. Musaza we w’imyaka ine yari amaze kumukubita.”​—NICOLE.

“Umukobwa wacu w’imyaka itandatu witwa Natalie yaravuze ati ‘ni ukuri iyi mpeta sinayibye; ni iyo nitoraguriye.’ Kandi koko iyo wamurebaga, wabonaga ibyo avuga ari ukuri. Twababajwe cyane n’ukuntu yaduhakaniye akadutsembera, maze turaturika turarira, kuko twari tuzi neza ko atubeshya.”​—STEPHEN.

ESE niba uri umubyeyi, ibyabaye kuri abo babyeyi nawe bijya bikubaho? Ese iyo bikubayeho, wibaza uko wahana umwana wawe cyangwa ukibaza niba bikwiriye ko umuhana? Ese guhana abana bawe ni bibi?

GUHANA BIKUBIYEMO IKI?

Muri Bibiliya, ijambo “impanuro” cyangwa guhana ntiryerekeza gusa ku gikorwa cyo gutanga igihano. Ahubwo risobanura mbere na mbere gutanga inyigisho, uburere no gukosora. Nta ho rihuriye no kugirira umuntu nabi cyangwa kumukorera ibikorwa by’ubugome.​—Imigani 4:​1, 2.

Guhana abana byagereranywa no guhinga. Umuhinzi ahinga umurima neza, akuhira, agafumbira, agatera imiti irinda udukoko kandi akabagara. Uko ibihingwa bigenda bikura, umuhinzi ashobora kubikonorera kugira ngo bikure neza. Uwo muhinzi aba azi ko kwita ku bihingwa akoresheje uburyo butandukanye, ari byo bizatuma bikura neza. Ababyeyi na bo bita ku bana babo mu buryo bwinshi. Ariko hari igihe biba ngombwa ko babahana. Kimwe n’uko umuhinzi akonorera ibihingwa, hari igihe na bo bakosora abana hakiri kare, maze bakabafasha gukura bagendera mu nzira nziza. Icyakora, gukonorera ibihingwa bigomba gukorwa mu buryo bwitondewe kugira ngo bitangirika. Ababyeyi na bo bagomba guhana abana babo babigiranye urukundo.

Imana ivugwa muri Bibiliya ari yo Yehova, yahaye ababyeyi urugero rwiza mu birebana no guhana. Ihana abagaragu bayo bo ku isi mu buryo bwiza kandi bakabyishimira, ku buryo bituma ‘bakunda igihano’ (Imigani 12:​1). Mu yandi magambo, ‘bagundira igihano ntibakirekure’ (Imigani 4:​13). Kugira ngo ufashe umwana wawe kwitabira igihano, hari ibintu bitatu biranga igihano Imana itanga wagombye gukurikiza. Igihano cyayo (1) kirangwa n’urukundo, (2) gishyize mu gaciro, kandi (3) ntigihindagurika.

 IGIHANO KIRANGWA N’URUKUNDO

Imana itanga igihano ibitewe n’urukundo kandi ikagitangana urukundo. Bibiliya igira iti “Yehova acyaha uwo akunda, nk’uko se w’umwana acyaha umwana we yishimira” (Imigani 3:​12). Nanone Yehova ni Imana “y’imbabazi n’impuhwe, itinda kurakara” (Kuva 34:​6). Ni yo mpamvu Yehova nta we agirira nabi cyangwa ngo amukorere ibikorwa by’urugomo. Nta nubwo ajya akoresha amagambo akomeretsa, ngo ahore atunenga, cyangwa ngo akoreshe imvugo isesereza, kuko ibyo byose bishobora gukomeretsa “nk’inkota.”​—Imigani 12:​18.

MUTEGE AMATWI

Ni iby’ukuri ko ababyeyi badashobora kwigana Imana mu buryo bwuzuye, ngo bagaragaze umuco wayo wo kumenya kwifata. Hari igihe umubyeyi agera mu mimerere igoranye cyane, maze kwihangana bikamugora. Mu gihe bigenze bityo, ujye uhora wibuka ko akenshi igihano utanganye umujinya gituma urenganya umwana, ukamuha igihano kirenze urugero kandi ntikigire icyo kimumarira. Uretse n’ibyo, igihano umuntu atanganye umujinya cyangwa uburakari, mu by’ukuri ntikiba ari igihano. Ahubwo agitanga bitewe n’uko yananiwe kwifata.

Ku rundi ruhande, iyo utanze igihano ubigiranye urukundo kandi bidatewe n’uburakari, gishobora kugira akamaro. Reka dusuzume uko ababyeyi bavuzwe mbere ari bo George na Nicole babigenje.

MUSENGE

“Igihe Jordan yageraga mu rugo, jye n’umugore wanjye umujinya wari waturenze. Ariko twaje gutuza, turabanza twumva uko yisobanura. Kubera ko bwari bwije, twafashe umwanzuro wo kuganira kuri icyo kibazo mu gitondo. Twese twarasenze maze tujya kuryama. Bukeye bwaho, twabonye uburyo bwiza bwo kuganira n’umuhungu wacu dutuje kandi tumugera ku mutima. Yiyemereye ko amabwiriza twamuhaye akwiriye kandi ko yayarenzeho. Twishimira kuba twaratahuye ko iyo umuntu arakaye ahubuka, kandi ko nta cyo ageraho. Twiboneye ko buri gihe iyo twabanzaga gutega amatwi, ibintu byarushagaho kugenda neza.”​—George.

MUGANIRE

“Nababajwe cyane no kubona umuhungu wanjye akubita mushiki we amuhoye ubusa. Aho kugira ngo mpite ngira icyo nkora, namwohereje mu cyumba cye kuko nkurikije uburakari nari mfite ntiyari kunkira. Nyuma yaho, ubwo nari maze gucururuka, namubwiye ntaciye ku ruhande ko kugira urugomo bidakwiriye, kandi mwereka ko yababaje mushiki we. Ubwo buryo nakoresheje bwatumye abyakira neza. Yasabye mushiki we imbabazi maze aramuhobera.”​—Nicole.

Koko rero, buri gihe igihano gikwiriye cyagombye gutangwa bitewe n’urukundo, nubwo cyaba ari igihano kibabaza.

 IGIHANO GISHYIZE MU GACIRO

Buri gihe Yehova ahana “mu rugero rukwiriye” (Yeremiya 30:​11; 46:​28). Asuzuma imimerere yose icyaha cyakozwemo, hakubiyemo n’itagaragara. Ababyeyi bamwigana bate? Stephen wavuzwe mu ntangiriro y’iyi ngingo, yabisobanuye agira ati “nubwo tutiyumvishaga ukuntu Natalie akomeza guhakana ko atibye iyo mpeta, kandi bikaba byaratubabaje cyane, twagerageje kuzirikana imyaka ye n’ikigero agezemo.”

Umugabo wa Nicole witwa Robert na we yagerageje gusuzuma imimerere yose ikosa ryakozwemo. Iyo abana bitwaye nabi, akunda kwibaza ati “ese iri kosa akoze ryamugwiririye cyangwa bimaze kuba ingeso? Ese aho ntiyaba ananiwe cyangwa akaba atamerewe neza? Ese iyi myitwarire ye nta kindi kibazo kiyihishe inyuma?”

Nanone ababyeyi bashyira mu gaciro bazirikana aho ubushobozi bw’abana bugarukira. Intumwa Pawulo wari Umukristo yagaragaje ukuri kwabyo agira ati “nkiri uruhinja, navugaga nk’uruhinja, ngatekereza nk’uruhinja” (1 Abakorinto 13:​11). Robert yagize ati “kwibuka ibyo nakoraga nkiri umwana, bimfasha gushyira mu gaciro kandi bikandinda kurakara.”

Babyeyi, ni iby’ingenzi ko mwitega ibintu bishyize mu gaciro ku bana banyu. Ariko nanone ntimwagombye korora ibibi, ngo mushyigikire amakosa cyangwa imyitwarire idahwitse. Kuzirikana ibyo umwana ashoboye n’imimerere ikosa ryakozwemo, bizatuma mumuha igihano gikwiriye kandi gishyize mu gaciro.

IGIHANO KIDAHINDAGURIKA

Muri Malaki 3:​6 hagira hati “ndi Yehova; sinigeze mpinduka.” Abagaragu b’Imana bemera ko ayo magambo ari ukuri, kandi kuba babizi birabarinda. Abana na bo bakeneye guhabwa igihano kidahindagurika, kuko bibarinda. Babyeyi, iyo muhindaguye amahame mwashyiriyeho abana banyu bitewe n’uko mwaramutse, bishobora kubatera urujijo kandi bikabarakaza.

Mwibuke ko Yesu yagize ati “Yego yanyu ijye iba Yego, na Oya yanyu ibe Oya” (Matayo 5:​37). Ababyeyi bakwiriye kuzirikana ibivugwa muri uwo murongo. Mbere yo kwihanangiriza umwana, mujye mubanza mutekereze niba koko muzakurikiza ibyo mumubwira. Mu gihe mumubwiye ko nakora ikosa azahanwa, mujye mumuhana.

Kugira ngo ababyeyi batange igihano badahuzagurika, ni iby’ingenzi ko bashyikirana neza hagati yabo. Robert yagize ati “iyo abana bacu batumye mbemerera ikintu nyina yababujije ntabizi maze nkaza kubimenya, nisubiraho ngashyigikira umugore wanjye.” Mu gihe ababyeyi batemeranya ku kibazo runaka, byaba byiza babiganiriyeho biherereye, bagafata umwanzuro bemeranyijeho.

IGIHANO NI NGOMBWA

Nimwigana ukuntu Yehova ahana abigiranye urukundo, agashyira mu gaciro kandi igihano cye ntigihindagurike, muzizere ko imihati mushyiraho izagirira abana banyu akamaro. Ubuyobozi bwuje urukundo mubaha bushobora kuzabafasha gukura neza, bakavamo abantu bashyira mu gaciro kandi bakuze mu bitekerezo. Bibiliya ibivuga neza igira iti “toza umwana inzira akwiriye kunyuramo; ndetse n’igihe azaba amaze gusaza, ntazateshuka ngo ayivemo.”​—Imigani 22:​6.