Soma ibirimo

Jya kuri meni ya kabiri

Reba urutonde rw'ibirimo

Abahamya ba Yehova

Ikinyarwanda

Umunara w’Umurinzi  |  Gicurasi 2013

 ICYO WAKORA KUGIRA NGO UGIRE IBYISHIMO MU MURYANGO

Uko imiryango irimo abana badahuje ababyeyi yabana neza na bene wabo

Uko imiryango irimo abana badahuje ababyeyi yabana neza na bene wabo

UMUBYEYI WITWA MARGARET * WO MURI OSITARALIYA URERA ABANA B’UMUGABO WE, yaravuze ati “nyina w’abo bana yababujije gukora ikintu cyose mbasabye, kabone nubwo cyaba cyoroheje, urugero nko kubabwira nti ‘mwibuke koza amenyo.’” Margaret atekereza ko ayo mayeri ya nyina w’abo bana ari yo yateye ibibazo mu muryango we.

Abagize imiryango irimo abana badahuje ababyeyi bahura n’ibibazo byihariye mu mishyikirano bagirana n’incuti na bene wabo. * Abenshi mu babyeyi baba bagomba gushyikirana n’ababyeyi b’abana barera ku birebana no kubasura, kubahana cyangwa kubabonera amafaranga. Incuti na bene wabo b’imiryango irimo abana badahuje ababyeyi, na bo bahangana n’ikibazo cyo kumenyerana n’umuryango mushya. Dore inama Bibiliya itanga zafasha umuryango wawe guhangana n’ibyo bibazo.

ICYA 1: GUSHYIKIRANA N’UNDI MUBYEYI

Umubyeyi wo muri Namibiya witwa Judith urera abana b’umugabo we, yaravuze ati “nyina w’abana ndera yabwiye abana be ko ndi muka se, kandi ko abana  bose nzabyarana na se nta cyo bazaba bapfana na bo. Ayo magambo yarambabaje cyane kuko nkunda abana be, nkabafata nk’abanjye.”

Impuguke zemeza ko imishyikirano ababyeyi bagirana ishobora kugorana kandi igateza amacakubiri mu muryango urimo abana badahuje ababyeyi. Akenshi ababyeyi b’abagore ni bo bagirana ibibazo bikomeye. Ni iki cyabafasha kubikemura?

Icyo mwakora: Mujye mwishyiriraho imipaka ishyize mu gaciro. Niwanga ko undi mubyeyi agira uruhare mu burere bw’umwana, uwo mwana ashobora kuzahababarira. * Ababyeyi b’umwana, ni ukuvuga ‘abamubyaye,’ bafite umwanya wihariye mu buzima bwe (Imigani 23:22, 25). Ku rundi ruhande ariko, guha uburenganzira busesuye uwo mwari mwarashakanye mu rugo rwawe, bishobora kubabaza uwo muri kumwe, ndetse bikamurakaza. Jya wihatira gushyira mu gaciro, ushyireho imipaka yo kurinda urugo rwawe, ari na ko ukomeza gushyikirana neza n’undi mubyeyi uko bishoboka kose.

INAMA ZIGENEWE ABABYEYI

  • Mu gihe uvugana n’uwo mwari mwarashakanye, ujye wibanda ku bana aho kujya mu bindi bibazo. Urugero, ushobora kumubwira ubigiranye amakenga ko wifuza ko mwashyiraho isaha mwazajya muvuganira kuri telefoni ku manywa. Ibyo ni byo byiza kuruta guterefonera igihe ushakiye cyangwa mu gicuku.

  • Niba udafite uburenganzira bwo kurera abana bawe, ushobora gukomeza gushyikirana na bo ukoresheje telefoni, amabaruwa, ubutumwa bugufi cyangwa interineti (Gutegeka kwa Kabiri 6:6, 7). Hari n’abaganira barebana bakoresheje interineti. Ibyo bishobora kugufasha kumenya ibibazo abana bawe bafite n’ibyo bakeneye, kandi ushobora kubagira inama zikabagirira akamaro.

INAMA ZIGENEWE ABAGORE BARERA ABANA BATARI ABABO

  • Jya ‘wishyira mu mwanya’ wa nyina w’abana urera, kandi umwizeze ko utagamije kumusimbura (1 Petero 3:8). Jya umubwira amakuru y’abana be, ariko wibande ku byiza (Imigani 16:24). Jya umugisha inama kandi umushimire mu gihe azikugiriye.

  • Ujye wirinda gukabya kugaragariza abana urukundo, mu gihe bari kumwe na nyina ubabyara. Beverly, umubyeyi wo muri Amerika urera abana batari abe, yaravuze ati “abo bana bashakaga kujya banyita nyina. Numvikanye na bo ko bajya banyita batyo turi mu rugo, ariko ko batagomba kubinyita igihe bari kumwe na nyina witwa Jane cyangwa bene wabo. Nyuma yaho jye na Jane twarushijeho kubana neza, kandi dufatanya kwita ku bana mu gihe bari ku ishuri cyangwa bagiye gutembera.”

Gushyikirana n’abana bawe bishobora kubagirira akamaro

INAMA ZABAFASHA KUMVIKANA

    Ikinyabupfura no kubaha byimakaza amahoro

  • Ujye wirinda kunegura umubyeyi mugenzi wawe abana bumva. Nubwo kwinjira mu biganiro nk’ibyo byoroshye, bitera abana agahinda. Wenda hari igihe ibyo wavuze byabwirwa abandi cyangwa bakaba banabivuga uko bitari (Umubwiriza 10:20). Mu gihe umwana akubwiye ko undi mubyeyi cyangwa umurera yakuvuze nabi, ujye wibanda ku byiyumvo by’umwana. Ushobora nko kumubwira uti “mbabajwe n’uko wumvise ibyo yavuze. Mama wawe yarandakariye, kandi  rimwe na rimwe iyo abantu barakaye, bavuga ibintu bitari byiza.”

  • Mujye mwihatira gushyiriraho abana bo mu ngo zombi amategeko amwe kandi mubahane kimwe. Niba ibyo bidashoboka, ujye ubasobanurira impamvu ayo mategeko atandukanye udashebeje undi mubyeyi. Reka dufate urugero:

    Umubyeyi urera Tim: Tim, manika iyo sume dore yatose.

    Tim: None se iyo ndi kwa mama ko dusiga amasume hasi akayimanikira?

    Umubyeyi urera Tim (arakaye): Nyoko se ko abarera bajeyi!

    Ese icyo gisubizo cyaba gikwiriye?

    Umubyeyi urera Tim (atuje): Ese ni uko mubigenza? Ihangane, twe hano buri wese arayimanikira.

  • Ntugateganyirize abana bawe imirimo runaka, mu gihe bazaba bari kumwe n’undi mubyeyi (Matayo 7:12). Niba ibyo bidashoboka, ujye ubanza usabe undi mubyeyi uruhushya, mbere yo kubwira abana icyo ubateganyiriza gukora.

GERAGEZA GUKORA IBI BIKURIKIRA: Niwongera kubonana n’uwahoze ari umugabo cyangwa umugore w’uwo mwashakanye, cyangwa uwashakanye n’uwahoze ari umugabo wawe cyangwa umugore wawe, uzabigenze utya:

  1. Uzamurebe maze umwenyure. Uzirinde kwiruhutsa, guterura intugu cyangwa kumureba ikijisho.

  2. Uzamusuhuze mu izina. Urugero, uzamubwire uti “uraho Jane?”

  3. Niba muri mu bandi bantu, ujye utuma na we yisanzura agire uruhare mu biganiro.

ICYA 2: GUSHYIKIRANA N’ABANA BAKURU

Hari igitabo cyavuze iby’umugore winubiye ko abana b’umugabo we bamusuzugura, kandi se akabashyigikira. Yaravuze ati “ibyo birandakaza cyane” (Step Wars). Mwakora iki ngo mwirinde ko abana babasenyera?

Icyo mwakora: Mujye mwishyira mu mwanya w’abandi. Bibiliya igira iti “buri wese ntakomeze gushaka inyungu ze bwite, ahubwo ashake iza mugenzi we” (1 Abakorinto 10:24). Jya ugerageza gusobanukirwa uko mugenzi wawe amerewe, kandi wibaze uko wabyifatamo ari wowe bibayeho. Abana bakuru bashobora kuba bahangayikishijwe n’uko umubyeyi ubabyara atazakomeza kubakunda. Nanone bashobora kumva ko baramutse bishimiye uwashakanye n’umubyeyi wabo, baba bahemukiye bene wabo b’undi mubyeyi wababyaye. Hagati aho, ababyeyi b’abo bana bashobora kwanga kubacyaha, batinya ko babanga.

Aho guhatira abana b’uwo mwashakanye kugukunda, jya ureka byizane. Muri rusange, guhatira umuntu kugukunda ntibihuje n’ubwenge (Indirimbo ya Salomo 8:4). Ku bw’ibyo, mu gihe wihatira gushyikirana n’abana b’uwo mwashakanye ujye witega ibintu bishyize mu gaciro.

Ntukababwire ibyo utekereza byose, nubwo waba wumva ko bagufashe uko bidakwiriye (Imigani 29:11). Mu gihe kwifata mu byo uvuga bikugora, ujye usenga nk’uko Dawidi Umwami wa Isirayeli yasenze agira ati “Yehova, shyiraho umurinzi wo kurinda akanwa kanjye, shyira umuzamu ku muryango w’iminwa yanjye.”—Zaburi 141:3.

Nufata umwanzuro wo kuba mu nzu abana b’uwo mwashakanye barerewemo, ushobora kuzatangazwa n’uko bazaba bakiyikunda. Ku bw’ibyo, uzakore uko ushoboye ntuyihindureho byinshi, cyane cyane mu byumba bahozemo. Byarushaho kuba na byiza wimukiye mu yindi nzu.

 GERAGEZA GUKORA IBI BIKURIKIRA: Nubona abana b’uwo mwashakanye bakomeje kugusuzugura cyangwa kwigira kagarara, ujye ubiganiraho na we kandi utege amatwi ibitekerezo aguha. Ntukamuhatire guhana abo bana. Ahubwo mujye mubiganiraho mwembi, kandi mugerageze kubyumvikanaho. Nimubiganiraho mugatangira ‘gutekereza kimwe,’ mushobora kurebera hamwe icyakorwa kugira ngo urusheho kubana neza na bo.—2 Abakorinto 13:11.

Garagariza abana bose ko ubakunda

ICYA 3: GUSHYIKIRANA N’IZINDI NCUTI N’ABAVANDIMWE

Umubyeyi witwa Marion wo muri Kanada urera abana b’umugabo we, yaravuze ati “ababyeyi banjye bakunze guha impano umuhungu wanjye ariko ntibazihe abana b’umugabo wanjye. Hari igihe na bo tuzibagurira, ariko hari n’igihe tubura amafaranga.”

Icyo mwakora: Mujye mushyira mu mwanya wa mbere umuryango wanyu mushya. Menyesha bene wanyu n’incuti ko umuryango wawe mushya ari wo uza mu mwanya wa mbere (1 Timoteyo 5:8). Nubwo utakwitega ko bene wanyu n’incuti zawe bazahita bakunda umuryango wawe mushya, ushobora kubasaba kubaha abawugize no kurangwa n’ikinyabupfura. Basobanurire ko mu gihe abana banyu basuzuguwe kandi ntibagaragarizwe ineza, bishobora kubababaza.

Kora uko ushoboye kugira ngo ababyeyi b’uwo mwari mwarashakanye bakomeze kubana neza n’abana bawe. Umubyeyi wo mu Bwongereza witwa Susan, yaravuze ati “nongeye gushaka nyuma y’umwaka umwe n’igice umugabo wanjye wa mbere apfuye, ariko ababyeyi be bari barananiwe kwemera umugabo nari maze gushaka. Ibintu byatangiye guhinduka igihe twabahaga umwanya mu muryango wacu, tugasaba abana kujya babaterefona kandi tukabashimira ko batuba hafi.”

GERAGEZA GUKORA IBI BIKURIKIRA: Mugerageze gutahura incuti cyangwa mwene wanyu mutabanye neza, maze wowe n’uwo mwashakanye muganire ku cyakorwa ngo murusheho kubana neza.

Imiryango irimo abana badahuje ababyeyi ishobora guhura n’ingorane mu gihe yihatira kubana neza n’abandi. Icyakora wowe n’umuryango wawe nimushyira mu bikorwa inama ziboneka mu Byanditswe, muzibonera isohozwa ry’ibyo Bibiliya idusezeranya igira iti “ubwenge ni bwo bwubaka urugo kandi ubushishozi ni bwo burukomeza.”—Imigani 24:3.

^ par. 3 Amazina amwe n’amwe yarahinduwe.

^ par. 4 Niba wifuza ibisobanuro ku birebana n’uko wahangana n’ibindi bibazo imiryango ifite abana badahuje ababyeyi ihura na byo, reba ingingo z’uruhererekane zifite umutwe ugira uti “Uko imiryango ifite abana badahuje ababyeyi yabana neza,” zasohotse mu igazeti ya Nimukanguke! yo muri Mata 2012, yanditswe n’Abahamya ba Yehova.

^ par. 8 Birumvikana ko mu gihe uwo mwari mwarashakanye agira amahane cyangwa ari umuntu mubi, ugomba gufata ingamba zitajenjetse zo kurinda umuryango wawe.

IBAZE UTI . . .

  • Nakora iki ngo ndusheho kubana neza n’uwahoze ari umugabo cyangwa umugore w’uwo twashakanye?

  • Twakora iki ngo incuti n’abavandimwe bacu batadusenyera nubwo baba batabigambiriye?