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 INAMA ZIGENEWE UMURYANGO | ABASHAKANYE

Uko wabana neza na sobukwe na nyokobukwe

Uko wabana neza na sobukwe na nyokobukwe

AHO IKIBAZO KIRI

“Iyo twabaga dufite ibibazo, umugore wanjye yabibwiraga ababyeyi be. Najyaga kumva nkumva se arampamagaye maze akangira inama kuri icyo kibazo. Ibyo ntibyanshimishaga rwose.—James. *

“Mabukwe akunda kuvuga ati ‘nkumbuye umuhungu wanjye cyane.’ Avuga ukuntu bari babanye neza, maze nkicuza icyatumye mushaka kuko numva narateye nyina agahinda.”—Natasha.

Ese ushobora gukemura ibibazo ugirana na sobukwe na nyokobukwe utisenyeye?

ICYO WAGOMBYE KUMENYA

Iyo ushatse uba ushinze umuryango mushya. Bibiliya ivuga ko iyo umugabo ashatse ‘asiga se na nyina akomatana n’umugore we.’ Umugore na we asiga ababyeyi be akomatana n’umugabo we. Bibiliya ivuga ko iyo ashatse, we n’umugabo we baba “umubiri umwe.” Bombi bashinga umuryango mushya.Matayo 19:5.

Uwo mwashakanye ni we ugomba kuza mbere y’ababyeyi bawe. Umujyanama witwa John M. Gottman, yaravuze ati “kimwe mu bintu by’ingenzi umugabo n’umugore we basabwa ni ugushyira hamwe. Hari igihe bishobora kuba ngombwa ko uhagarika imishyikirano ufitanye n’ababyeyi bawe cyangwa ukayireka, kugira ngo wunge ubumwe n’uwo mwashakanye.” *

Hari ababyeyi bishobora kugora kwakira ubwo buzima. Hari umugabo ukiri muto wagize ati “mbere yo gushaka, umugore wanjye yashyiraga imbere ibyifuzo by’ababyeyi be. Tumaze gushakana, nyina yaje kubona ko hari undi muntu wamusimbuye. Kubyakira ntibyamworoheye.”

Bamwe mu bamaze igihe gito bashakanye na bo bishobora kubagora. James twigeze kuvuga yaravuze ati “nyokobukwe na sobukwe si nk’incuti wihitiyemo.” Ni nk’uko umuntu yakubwira ati ‘wungutse izindi ncuti ebyiri, kandi nta cyo wabihinduraho.’ Nubwo batakubera beza, ni abo mu muryango wawe.”

 ICYO WAKORA

Mu gihe hari ibyo wowe n’uwo mwashakanye mutumvikanaho ku birebana na sobukwe na nyokobukwe, mwagombye kubikemura mu bumwe. Mujye mukurikiza inama ya Bibiliya igira iti “ushake amahoro kandi uyakurikire.”Zaburi 34:14.

Kugira ngo ubigereho, suzuma ibintu bikurikira bishobora kubaho. Buri kibazo cyagaragajwe nk’aho cyabaye ku mugabo cyangwa ku mugore, ariko icyabaye kuri umwe gishobora no kuba ku wundi. Nanone kandi amahame akubiyemo ashobora gufasha abashakanye gukemura ibibazo bafitanye na ba sebukwe cyangwa ba nyirabukwe.

Umugore wawe yifuza ko wabana neza na nyina, ariko ubona nyina agoye.

Gerageza gukora ibi bikurikira: Biganireho n’umugore wawe, mugire umwanzuro mwumvikanaho. Ikibazo si uko ubanye na nyokobukwe, ahubwo ni uko ubanye n’umugore wawe, ari na we wasezeranyije ko uzakunda. Musuzumire hamwe ikintu kimwe cyangwa bibiri byagufasha kongera kubana neza na nyokobukwe, hanyuma ubikurikize. Umugore wawe nabona imihati ushyiraho nta gushidikanya ko azarushaho kukubaha.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: 1 Abakorinto 10:24.

Umugabo wawe avuga ko uhora ushaka gushimisha ababyeyi bawe aho kumushimisha.

Gerageza gukora ibi bikurikira: Biganireho n’umugabo wawe, kandi ugerageze kumwumva. Birumvikana ko umugabo wawe atagombye guhangayikishwa n’uko uha ababyeyi bawe icyubahiro bakwiriye (Imigani 23:22). Wowe mwizeze gusa ko aza mbere y’ababyeyi bawe, mu magambo no mu bikorwa. Iyo umugabo wawe abyizeye, ntiyongera kumva ko ubitaho kumurusha ngo abe yabiharanira.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abefeso 5:33.

Umugore wawe agisha ababyeyi be inama aho kuzikugisha.

Gerageza gukora ibi bikurikira: Biganireho n’umugore wawe mwumvikane imipaka mutagombye kurenga. Ujye ugerageza gushyira mu gaciro. Ibaze uti “ese buri gihe kubwira ababyeyi be ikibazo mufite ni bibi? Ni ryari byaba ari ngombwa?” Nimwemeranya ku mipaka ishyize mu gaciro mutagomba kurenga, ibyo ntibizongera kubatera ikibazo.—Ihame rya Bibiliya: Abafilipi 4:5.

^ par. 4 Muri iyi ngingo amazina yarahinduwe.

^ par. 9 Byavuye mu gitabo The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work.