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Ntuhe umwana ico asavye cose

Ntuhe umwana ico asavye cose

INGORANE

Umwana wawe ntiyemera ko umwima ico ashaka. Igihe cose umwimye ikintu, aca yishavuza gushika n’aho bikugora kwihangana. Uragerageza kumuhendahenda kugira ngo aturure ariko bikaba ivy’ubusa, amaherezo ukabona ko ata kundi uri bubigire atari ukumuha ico ashaka. Naho wari wamwankiye, uruhiye kugondozwa nk’uko vyama bigenda, ukamuha ico ashaka.

Birashoboka ko ugira ico ukoze kugira ntuze uremerera umwana ico agusavye cose. Ariko banza urimbure ibintu bimwebimwe ukwiye kumenya ku bijanye no kwankira umwana ico ashaka.

ICO UKWIYE KUMENYA

Kwankira umwana ikintu si ukumwanka. Hari abavyeyi batokwemera ico ciyumviro, kumbure bakavuga ko ukwiye gufasha umwana kuzirikana, ukisigura, canke mbere mukagerageza kwumvikana. Bavuga ko udakwiye kwima umwana ico agusavye kuko ngo vyotuma agushavurira.

Ni ivy’ukuri ko mu ntango umwana wawe ashobora kubabara umwimye ico ashaka. Naho ari ukwo, biramwigisha icigwa gihambaye cane c’uko mu buzima hariho uturimbi ntarengwa. Ariko umuhaye ico asavye cose, uba uriko uratuma atakwubaha cane kandi ukaba uriko uramwigisha ko ashobora gutuma ukora ico ashaka cose yirijije. Umaze kumumenyereza gutyo, yoshobora kugushavurira uramutse umwimye ico ashaka. Nakare, wumva umwana yokwubaha gute umuvyeyi yama akora ico umwana ashaka cose?

Kwankira umwana ikintu biramutegura kugira azovyifatemwo neza ageze mu buyabaga no mu bigero. Birigisha umwana kubona ko kwiyima ibintu bimwebimwe igihe bikenewe bifise akamaro. Umwigishije ico kintu gihambaye, niyagera mu buyabaga ntazopfa kugondozwa hagize abamwosha kunywa ibiyayuramutwe canke guhuza ibitsina atarubaka.

Ikindi kandi, kwankira umwana ico ashaka biramutegura kugira azovyifatemwo neza ageze mu bigero. Umuhinga yitwa David Walsh yanditse ati: “Turazi neza ko twebwe [abakuze] tutama turonka ivyo twipfuza vyose.” Yongerako ati: “Nta co tuba turiko turafasha abana bacu igihe tubigisha ko bazokwama baronka ivyo bashaka vyose bitabagoye.” *

 ICO WOKORA

Niwibuke intumbero yawe. Wipfuza ko umwana wawe azoba umuntu akuze azi kwigumya no kuvyifatamwo neza mu buzima, bikamugendera neza. Ariko ntuzoshika kuri iyo ntumbero nimba umwemerera ico asavye cose. Bibiliya ivuga yuko umuntu “[afyinishijwe] . . . kuva mu buto, mu buzima bwiwe bwo mu nyuma azocika intashima.” (Imigani 29:21) Kwankira rero umwana ico asavye, ni kimwe mu bigize indero nziza akeneye guhabwa. Iyo ndero ntizomugirira nabi ahubwo izomufasha.—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Imigani 19:18.

Nufate ingingo ntabanduka. Umwana wawe ntimungana. Ntibikenewe rero ko muharira ku gituma umwankiye ikintu nk’aho umengo birakenewe ko avyemera. Ariko ntiwumve, uko abana bakura barakenera ko “ububasha bwabo bwo gutegera bumenyerezwa gutandukanya iciza n’ikibi.” (Abaheburayo 5:14) Rero gufasha umwana kuzirikana nta kibi birimwo. Ariko rero, ntibikenewe ko wokwama uriko uraharira n’umwana mutoyi ku gituma wamwankiye ico ashaka. Uko muguma muharira ni ko arushiriza kubona ko ingingo wafashe ishobora guhinduka.—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Abanyefeso 6:1.

Oya yawe nibe oya. Umwana wawe yoshobora kwiriza canke akaguma akubuza amahoro kugira arabe ko woteba ukagondozwa. Biramutse bishitse muri muhira, wovyifatamwo gute? Igitabu kimwe (Loving Without Spoiling) gitanga impanuro igira iti: “Ntagume iruhande yawe. Numubwire uti: ‘Nimba ushaka kuba uririza birakuraba, ariko sinkeneye kukwumva uriko uririza. Genda uririre hariya ugaruke wanumye.’” Mu ntango vyokugora kubigenza gutyo, eka n’umwana wawe vyomugora kwemera. Ariko amaze kubona ko iyo uvuze ikintu utisubirako, arateba akareka kuza arakugora cane.—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Yakobo 5:12.

Ntiwankire umwana ico agusavye kugira gusa umwereke ko ari wewe umugaba

Nukore ibitegereka. Ntiwankire umwana ico agusavye kugira gusa umwereke ko ari wewe umugaba. Ahubwo riho ‘nugire ibitegereka.’ (Abafilipi 4:5) Rimwe na rimwe woha umwana ico agusavye, ukire gusa kuba utakimuhaye kubera ukwiriza kwiwe canke ngo ukimuhe bitari bibereye.—Iciyumviro co muri Bibiliya cofasha: Abakolosayi 3:21.

^ par. 10 Vyakuwe mu gitabu No: Why Kids—of All Ages—Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It.

Raba n'ibindi

Ingene wofata umwana akunda kwishavuza

Wokora iki igihe umwana wawe yishavuje? Ivyiyumviro vyo muri Bibiliya birashobora kugufasha gutorera umuti iyo ngorane.

Niwigishe umwana kugamburuka

Woba wama ugwa inzura n’umwana wawe adashaka kukwumvira, kandi kenshi akaba ari we atsinda? Raba ibintu bitanu vyogufasha.