‘Make every man love im wife as e take love imself; and make the wife respect im husband well well.’—EPH. 5:33.

SONG: 87, 3

1. Even if marriage dey sweet when e start, wetin fit happen? (Check the first picture.)

THE way belle dey sweet man and woman when dem see each other for their wedding day, no be small! When dem start to know each other, their love come dey grow, sotey dem want marry and dem ready to stay with each other. The truth be sey, some things for their life go change because dem come from different different family and dem want start their own family. But the advice wey dey Bible fit help anybody wey want marry. This na because Jehovah, the Person wey start marriage, want make husband and wife enjoy their marriage. (Prov. 18:22) But because we dey make mistake, problem fit still dey marriage. (1 Cor. 7:28) How people wey don marry fit manage their problem? And wetin go make dem enjoy their marriage?

2. Wetin be the different kind of love wey husband and wife suppose get for each other?

2 Bible tell us why e good make love dey marriage. E talk about the different kind of love wey husband and wife suppose get for each other. (1) Love wey friend get for each other (Greek, phi·liʹa); (2) love wey man and woman get for each other (eʹros);  (3) love wey people for family get for each other (stor·geʹ). But the kind love wey go make dem enjoy their marriage pass na (4) love wey dey make person do wetin Bible talk (a·gaʹpe). Na this kind love apostle Paul talk about for Bible, when e write sey: ‘Make every man love im wife as e take love imself; and make the wife respect im husband well well.’—Eph. 5:33.

WETIN HUSBAND AND WIFE SUPPOSE DEY DO FOR THEIR MARRIAGE

3. How the love wey dey marriage suppose strong reach?

3 Paul write sey: ‘Husband, make una continue to dey love una wife as Christ take love the congregation, come even die for am.’ (Eph. 5:25) To do like Jesus, people wey dey follow am suppose love theirself as e take love dem. (Read John 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) The love wey husband and wife suppose get for each other, go strong sotey dem even ready to die for theirself. But this one go hard dem to do if serious problem dey the marriage. A·gaʹpe love na love wey dey ‘bear everything, believe everything, put mind sey everything go better, endure everything.’ True true, ‘love no dey ever end.’ (1 Cor. 13:7, 8) E good make husband and wife wey dey serve God no forget wetin dem promise sey dem go love theirself and dem no go leave each other. This one go help dem use Bible settle any problem wey fit dey the marriage.

4, 5. (a) Wetin husband suppose dey do as head for family? (b) How wife suppose see im husband? (c) Wetin be the change wey one husband and wife make for their marriage?

4 When Paul dey talk about wetin husband and wife suppose do for their marriage, e write sey: ‘Make wife dem dey respect their husband well well because of the Lord, because na husband be head of im wife as Christ be head for congregation.’ (Eph. 5:22, 23) This one no mean sey the husband better pass im wife. But e go help the woman fit do the work wey God get for am as wife, when e sey: ‘E no good make only the man [Adam] continue to dey stay. I go make person wey go help am, wey go make am complete.’ (Gen. 2:18) As Jesus wey be ‘head for congregation’ take dey show love, na so husband as head of im wife, suppose dey show am love. If husband dey do like that, im wife no go dey fear and e go trust am. And e go easy for the wife to dey respect, to support and do wetin im husband like.

5 One sister wey im name na Cathy [1] agree sey things go change when person marry. E sey: ‘When I never marry, na me dey choose wetin I go do and dey take care of myself.’ But things change for am as e marry. E still sey: ‘No be every time e easy, but we don near each other well well as husband and wife because we dey do things the way Jehovah want.’ Fred, im husband talk sey: ‘Before I marry, e no easy for me to choose wetin to do. Now wey we be two, e come even hard more. But as I dey pray and dey listen to wetin my wife dey talk, e come easy for us every day. I know sey we be one!’

6. Why we fit talk sey love ‘dey join everything together to make am complete’?

6 Marriage go strong well well if husband and wife dey forgive each other. Dem no go dey ‘carry wetin dem do theirself for mind and dem go use all their mind forgive theirself.’ Na true sey, sometimes dem fit make each other vex. But if that one happen, na chance for dem to forgive, to learn from wetin don happen and to let love control their marriage. Na im make love ‘dey join everything together to make am complete.’ (Col. 3:13, 14) Another thing be sey, ‘love dey patient and e get good mind. E no dey count how many times person  do am bad.’ (1 Cor. 13:4, 5) E good make dem quick settle any problem wey dem get before day go dark. (Eph. 4:26, 27) For person to get the mind to sey “No vex for wetin I do you,” show sey e no dey carry shoulder up. But na that kind mind dey help settle problem and make marriage strong.

THINK HOW E DEY FEEL AND WETIN E NEED

7, 8. (a) Which advice Bible give about sex for marriage? (b) Why e good make husband and wife know how the other person dey feel and wetin e need?

7 Bible give better advice about sex to people wey don marry. (Read 1 Corinthians 7:3-5.) E good make love dey make the two of dem think about how the other person dey feel and wetin e need. If husband no get this kind love for im wife, e go hard the wife to enjoy sex for the marriage. Bible tell husband sey make dem ‘dey sabi how dem suppose live with their wife.’ (1 Pet. 3:7) E no good make dem force each other but make their body first move dem to do am. Many times, e fit be sey na the man body dey first move am before the woman. But dem need to wait until two of dem want am.

8 Even though sey Bible talk about love play, e no talk about the kind love play wey husband and wife go play or where dem go play am reach. (Song of Sol. 1:2; 2:6) Jehovah servant wey don marry suppose dey think about how im husband or wife dey feel and wetin e need.

9. Why e bad to ‘eye’ person wey no be our husband or wife?

9 When we get strong love for God and other people, we no go allow anybody or anything scatter our marriage. Some people marriage don get problem or don even scatter because the husband or the wife dey look people wey naked. If any of dem don dey get this kind mind or dey ‘eye’ person wey no be their husband or wife, make dem quick comot am for mind. Make dem no do anything wey go make person wey no be their husband or wife feel sey dem want friend am. When we get am for mind sey God know wetin we dey think and do, e go make us want do wetin e like and wetin clean for im eye.—Read Matthew 5:27, 28; Hebrews 4:13.

IF MARRIAGE DON DEY GET PROBLEM

10, 11. (a) Wetin show sey people dey end their marriage anyhow? (b) Wetin Bible talk about people wey don marry wey want leave their husband or wife go stay their own? (c) Wetin go help dem no quick do this one?

10 If husband and wife no quick settle problem wey dey their marriage, one or the two of dem fit want go stay im own or end the marriage. For some place, e pass half of the people wey don marry wey dey end their marriage. This kind thing no too dey happen for congregation. But the number of people for congregation wey their marriage dey get problem, dey go up and this one no be better thing.

11 This na wetin Bible talk: ‘Make wife no leave im husband. But if e leave im husband, make e no marry instead make e settle with im husband; and make husband no leave im wife.’ (1 Cor. 7:10, 11) For person wey don marry to leave im husband or wife go stay im own, no be wetin we go take play. Even if e be like sey na that one go end the problem, many times, the problem fit even serious pass when e start. Jesus repeat wetin Jehovah talk for garden of Eden about man wey go leave im papa and mama, go stay with im wife. After, e come sey: ‘The thing wey God don join together make nobody separate am.’ (Matt. 19:3-6; Gen. 2:24) One thing wey this one mean  be sey, make the husband or the wife ‘no separate wetin God don join.’ Jehovah want make husband and wife continue to stay together as one. (1 Cor. 7:39) When husband and wife remember sey God go judge dem for wetin dem do, e go make dem do everything wey dem suppose do to settle any problem quick quick before e serious.

12. Wetin fit make some people wey don marry to want leave their husband or wife go stay their own?

12 Some things fit make some people wey don marry want leave their husband or wife go stay their own. For example, some people fit think sey marriage na only enjoyment. But when dem marry, dem come see sey no be so e be. E fit make dem come dey vex and even tire for the marriage. Another thing wey fit cause problem be sey, dem no train dem the same way and no be the same way dem dey feel about things; or e fit be money matter, their in-law and how to train their pikin. But we happy sey many of our brothers and sisters wey don marry dey let wetin dey Bible help dem so that this kind thing no go dey cause problem.

13. Which kind things fit make person leave im husband or wife go stay im own?

13 Sometimes, e no bad for person to leave im marriage go stay im own. For example, the man no want take care of im family, even when e fit do am; the man want use beating kill im wife or one of dem want make the other one stop to serve Jehovah. Make husband and wife wey get serious problem for their marriage go meet elders for congregation make dem help dem. Because elders don sabi how Bible dey help people, dem go know how to help the husband and wife follow wetin Bible talk. When we want settle problem for marriage, make we pray make Jehovah give us im holy spirit. Holy spirit go help us do wetin Bible talk and we go fit show sey we get the different character wey Jehovah dey use im spirit give person.—Gal. 5:22, 23. [2]

14. Wetin Bible talk about Jehovah servant wey im husband or wife no dey serve Jehovah?

14 E fit be sey the husband or wife of one of Jehovah servant never start to serve Jehovah. If na so, Bible talk why e good make dem no end their marriage. (Read 1 Corinthians 7:12-14.) Whether the person wey no be Jehovah servant know or e no know, im wife or husband wey dey serve Jehovah make am ‘holy.’ God dey protect any pikin wey dem get because the pikin ‘holy’ for im eye. Paul talk wetin go help this kind marriage. E sey: ‘Wife, you know whether na you go save your husband? Or, husband, you know whether na you go save your wife?’ (1 Cor. 7:16) For many congregation today, we get people wey don marry wey be sey na their husband or wife ‘save’ dem or make dem come dey serve Jehovah.

15, 16. (a) Which advice Bible give Jehovah servant wey im husband or wife no dey serve Jehovah? (b) Wetin Jehovah servant go do ‘if the one wey no dey serve God sey e want stay im own’?

15 Apostle Peter advise sisters wey don marry sey make dem dey respect their husband, ‘so that if any of dem no dey serve God, dem fit change because of their wife character even if their wife no talk anything; because dem don see sey una dey live clean life and una dey respect dem well well.’ If the woman dey ‘quiet’ and e ‘no dey make trouble’—character wey God like well well—e fit make the husband come dey serve Jehovah. This one good pass to preach give the man every time.—1 Pet. 3:1-4.

16 What if the husband or wife wey no dey serve Jehovah want leave the marriage  go stay im own? Bible talk sey: ‘But if the one wey no dey serve God sey e want stay im own, make e stay im own; that kind condition no tie the brother or sister, but God don call una enter peace.’ (1 Cor. 7:15) This one no mean sey the husband or wife wey dey serve Jehovah don free to marry another person. But, no need to force the husband or wife wey no be Jehovah servant to stay. If e comot, small peace fit dey. The one wey be Jehovah servant fit get hope sey the husband or wife wey comot, go come back with the mind to make the marriage work. E fit even come be Jehovah servant.

WETIN BE THE FIRST THING FOR MARRIAGE?

If people wey don marry dey first do wetin Jehovah want, dem go enjoy their marriage more (Check paragraph 17)

17. Wetin be the first thing wey husband and wife go do?

17 Because we dey the ‘last days,’ things dey ‘hard to manage.’ (2 Tim. 3:1-5) But if our faith strong, the world no go fit control us. Apostle Paul write sey: ‘The time wey remain no reach anything.’ E come still sey: ‘Make people wey get wife be like sey dem no get and people wey dey use the things wey dey the world, make dem no use am too much.’ (1 Cor. 7:29-31) Paul no dey talk for here sey make people forget their husband or wife. Because this world go soon end, make husband and wife dey first do wetin Jehovah want.—Matt. 6:33.

18. Why e be sey people wey dey serve Jehovah fit enjoy their marriage?

18 Even if people marriage dey scatter for this last days, we fit still enjoy our own. True true, if husband and wife continue to follow Jehovah people, dey do wetin Bible talk and dem let Jehovah spirit direct dem, dem no go scatter ‘wetin God don join together.’—Mark 10:9.

^ [1] (paragraph 5) No be their real name be that.

^ [2] (paragraph 13) Go check the topic “The Bible’s View on Divorce and Separation,” for the appendix wey dey back of “Keep Yourselves in God’s Love” book, pp. 219-221.”