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Nsanza ya Mulindiri—Yakupfunzira  |  Agosto 2016

Kucitisa Malowozi Yacikristau Kukhala Yabwino

Kucitisa Malowozi Yacikristau Kukhala Yabwino

‘Munthu ali-wense ambafune mkazace, ninga momwe an’bzifunira iye yekha; . . . mkazimbo ambalemekezembo mwamuna wace.’WAYEFEZO 5:33.

NYIMBO: 87, 3

1. Napo kuti kawiri-kawiri malowozi yambayamba na cikondweso, kodi wale omwe ankupita m’banja an’funika kudikhirira ciyani? (Onani cithunzi-thunzi pa tsamba lino.)

PA NSIKU ya malowozi pomwe mwamuna na mkazi ankuyamba kuwonana, cikondweso cawo cimbakhala cakusaya kuleweka. Pomwe akhali pa umakhadzi, lufoyi lawo likhakula kwene-kwene mwakuti akhafunisisa kulowolana ndipo adapicirana kuti ali-wense an’dzakhala wakukhulupirika kwa mwanzace. Pomwe nsiku yawo ya malowozi idapita, iwo adayamba kukhalira pabodzi ndipo akhafunika kucinja bzinthu pa moyo wawo kuti apitirize kukhala wakubverana. Yahova, omwe Adayambisa malowozi, ambafuna kuti banja liri-lense likhale lakukondwa na kuti bzinthu bzifambe bwino pa moyo wawo wa banja, ndipopa iye adapereka malango ya nzeru mu Fala lace, Bibliya. (Mimwani 18:22) Napo bziri tenepo, Bibliya limbatiuza kuti wanthu wakusaya kulungama omwe ankupita m’banja an’dzakhala na mabvuto, ayai ‘matsautso m’thupi mwawo.’ (1 Wakolinto 7:28) Kodi anyakulowolana angacepese tani  mabvutoyo? Ndipo kodi akristau angacite tani kuti malowozi yawo yambawafambire bwino?

2. Ni mtundu uponi wa lufoyi omwe wanthu omwe ali pa banja angaulatize?

2 Bibliya limbapfunzisa kuti lufoyi ni khalidwe lakufunika kwene-kwene. Koma ziripo njira zizinji za lufoyi zomwe wanthu wakulowolana an’funika kulatiza m’banja. Mwa ciratizo, iwo an’funika kulatizana lufoyi cairo la ubale pabodzi na lufoyi lomwe kokha limbalatizidwa kwa mwamuna na mkazi. Ndipo penu iwo ana wana, lufoyi pakati pawo likhale cinthu cakufunika kwene-kwene. Koma lufoyi lakutsogoledwa na mitemo ya m’Bibliya, ndilo lomwe limbacitisa kuti banja likhaledi labwino. Mpostolo Paulo adafotokoza bza mtundu umweyu wa lufoyi pomwe adalewa kuti: ‘Munthu ali-wense ambafune mkazace, ninga momwe an’bzifunira iye yekha; ndipo mkazimbo ambalemekezembo mwamuna wace.’—Wayefezo 5:33.

KUPENDA MWAKUSAMALA UDINDO BOMWE WANTHU WAKULOWOLANA ANABO

3. Kodi lufoyi lin’funika kukhala lakulimba tani m’banja?

3 Paulo adanemba kuti: ‘Amuna, mbafunani akazanu, ninga momwe Kristu ambalifunira gwere lace, acibzipereka thangwe ra iro.’ (Wayefezo 5:25) Akristau nsiku zino ambatewezera ciratizo ca Jezu mwa kufunana winango na mwanzace ninga momwe Jezu adafunira anyakupfunza wace. (Werengani Juwau 13:34, 35; 15:12, 13.) Mwamuna pabodzi na mkazi wace an’funika kufunana kwene-kwene mpaka ali-wense kukhala wakukonzeka kufera mwanzace. Koma m’banja mukawoneka mabvuto makulu, winango angabzibve ninga kuti lufoyi lawo ndakucepa. N’ciyani comwe cingawathandize? Lufoyi lakutsogoleredwa na mitemo ‘limbalekerera bzinthu bzense, limbakhulupira bzinthu bzense, limbadikhira bzinthu bzense, limbapirira bzinthu bzense.’ Lufoyi la mtundu umweyu ‘limbamala lini.’ (1 Wakolinto 13:7, 8) Wanthu wakulowolana an’funika kumbakumbukira kuti iwo adalumbira. Iwo adapicira kuti an’dzafunana na kukhala wakukhulupirika kwa winango na mwanzace. Kukumbukira bzimwebzi kun’dzalimbisa banja lacikristau kulinga thandizo la Yahova na kucitira pabodzi bzinthu kuti amalise bvuto liri-lense.

4, 5. (a) Kodi mwamuna ana udindo buponi ninga msolo wa banja? (b) Kodi mkazi wakulowodwa an’funika kuwona tani msolo wace wa banja? (c) Kodi ni kucinja kuponi komwe banja linango lidafunika kucita?

4 Paulo adafotokoza bza udindo bwa wanthu awiri wakulowolana pomwe adalewa kuti: ‘Akazi ambabvere amuna wawo, ninga momwe ambabvera Mbuya; thangwe mwamuna ni msolo wa mkazi wace, ninga momwe Kristu aliri msolo wa gwere.’ (Wayefezo 5:22, 23) Bzimwebzi bzinkuthandauza lini kuti mwamuna ndiye ali bwino kuposa mkazi wace. Yahova adalewa kufunika kwa mbali ya mkazi pomwe adalewa kuti: ‘Bziri lini bwino kuti mwamuna apitirize kukhala yekha. Ndinimukonzera mthandizi, ninga mwanzace wakumuthemera.’ (Ciyambo 2:18) Mkazi an’funika kuthandiza mwamuna wace kuti akhale msolo wabwino wa banja. Ndipo mwamuna an’funika kutewezera ciratizo ca lufoyi la Jezu, omwe ni ‘msolo wa gwere.’ Mwamuna akacita bzimwebzi, mkazi wace an’dzabzibva kukhala wakukhotcerereka ndipo bzin’dzapusa kuti amulemekeze na kumuthandiza.

‘Timbakhala wakuphatana kwene-kwene ninga banja mwa kucita bzinthu ninga momwe Yahova ambafunira’

5 Cathy, omwe adalowodwa na Fred, adati: “Pomwe ndikhanati kulowodwa, ndikhabzicitira bzinthu ndeka na kubzisamalira. Kulowodwa kudandicinja ndipo ndidapfunza kumbathemba mwamuna wangu. Kucita bzimwebzi kukhali lini kwakupusa, koma tidakhala wakufendererana kwene-kwene ninga banja mwa kucita bzinthu ninga momwe Yahova ambafunira.” [1] (Onani mafala yakuthumizira.) Fred adati: “Kwa ine, kucita bzakusankhula kukhali  lini kwakupusa. M’banja bzimbakhala bzakunesa kucita cakusankhula cakubverana na wanthu awiri. Koma mwa kulinga kutsogoleredwa na Yahova mu mpembo na kubva bzomwe mkazi wangu angalewe, bzimbakhala bzakuthandiza nsiku iri-yense. Ndimbabzibvadi kuti tiri mu thimu libodzi!”

6. Kodi lufoyi limbakhala tani ninga cinthu comwe ‘cimbaphatanidzisa wanthu mwamphamvu kwene-kwene kuposa cinthu ciri-cense’ pakawoneka mabvuto m’banja?

6 Banja lingakhale lakulimba penu wanthu wakulowolanawo ‘an’pitiriza kupirirana na kulekererana na mtima wense.’ Pakuti awiriwo mbakusaya kulungama, ali-wene angaphonye. Bzimwebzi bzikacitika, iwo angapfunze na kuphonyako, agapfunzembo kukhala wakulekerera na kulatiza lufoyi mwakutsogoleredwa na mitemo ya m’Bibliya. Lufoyi limweri ‘limbaphatanidzisa wanthu mwamphamvu kwene-kwene kuposa cinthu ciri-cense.’ (Wakoloso 3:13, 14) Wanthu wakulowolana angalatize lufoyi limweri mwa kukhala wakupirira na wa kudeka mtima mwa kuleka kumbapitiriza ‘kukoyerana mathangwe.’ (1 Wakolinto 13:4, 5) Pakawoneka kusaya kubvesesana, anyakulowolana an’funika kumalisa bvutolo mwakamfulumize nsikuyo inati kumala. (Wayefezo 4:26, 27) Bzimbafuna kubzicepswa na kukhwimika kuti munthu alewe kuti “Ndinkupepesa thangwe ra kukukhumudwisa,” koma kucita bzimwebzi kumbathandiza kuti mabvuto yamale ndipo kumbacitisa kuti wanthu wakulowolana akhale wakuphatana.

KUFUNIKA KWA KULATIZA NSISI

7, 8. (a) Kodi ni malango yaponi yomwe Bibliya limbapereka pakulewa bza kugonana m’banja? (b) N’thangwe ranyi anyakulowolana an’funika kulatizana nsisi?

7 Bibliya limbapereka malango yabwino yomwe yangathandize wanthu wakulowolana kuwona nkhani yakugonana mu njira yakuthemera. (Werengani 1 Wakolinto 7:3-5.) Mwamuna na mkazi an’funika kumbakumbukira bzakusaya bza mwanzace na momwe mwanzaceyo ankubvera. Penu mwamuna alibe nsisi na mkazi wace, mkaziyo bzingamunese kupfatsa pa nkhani yakugonana. Amuna an’funika kucita bzinthu na akazi wawo ‘mwa kuwadziwa bwino.’ (1 Pedru 3:7) Kugonana kun’funika lini kukhala kwa kucita kuxixana ayai kungingimirana koma kun’funika kucitidwa mwacibadwa. Ndipo kawiri-kawiri, amuna napo pa nthawe yomwe an’funa lini, iwo ambafulumiza kucinja kusiyana na akazi. Koma bzin’funika kucitika pa nthawe yomwe wense awiri, mwamuna na mkazi, ankubva bwino.

8 Bibliya limbapereka lini mitemo yakulungamiratu pa mitundu na malire ya kulatizana lufoyi pakati pa mwamuna na mkazi. Koma limbalewa bza lufoyi limweri. (Nyimbo ya Salomau 1:2; 2:6) Akristau wakulowolana an’funika kucitirana bzinthu na mtima wa nsisi.

9. N’thangwe ranyi n’bzakubvumizika lini kulatiza cikhumbo ca kugonana kwa munthu omwe si mwanzathu wa m’banja?

9 Tikakhala na lufoyi likulu na Mulungu pabodzi na anzathu, tin’dzabvuma lini kuti ciri-cense ayai munthu ali-wense aikhe pa ngozi banja lathu. Winango aipisa ayai kudzonga banja lawo thangwe ra kukhala na cizolowezi ca kumbawona bza maika. Tin’funika kutcenkha mtima uli-wense wa kufuna kumbawona bza maika ayai mitundu inango ya bzinthu yomwe  inganyose cikhumbo cakusaya kuthemera ca kugonana. Tin’funikambo kutcenkha kucita cinthu ciri-cense comwe cingaticitise kuwoneka ninga tiri pa umakhadzi na munthu omwe ni mwanzathu lini wa m’banja thangwe kucita bzimwebzi ni kusaya lufoyi. Tin’funika kukumbukira kuti Mulungu ambadziwa makumbukidwe yathu yense pabodzi na bzicito bzathu. Bzimwebzi bzin’dzatithandiza kulimbisa cikhumbo cathu cakufuna kumukondwesa na kupitiriza kukhala wakukhulupirika kwa mwanzathu wa m’banja.—Werengani Mateu 5:27, 28; Wahebereu 4:13.

PAKAWONEKA MABVUTO M’BANJA

10, 11. (a) Kodi azinji ambawona tani kulambana? (b) Kodi Bibliya limbalewa ciyani bza kupumirana? (c) N’ciyani cin’dzathandiza banja kuti lireke kufulumiza kulekana?

10 M’banja mukawoneka mabvuto makulu yakunesa kuyamalisa, mabanja manango yambasankhula kupumirana ayai kulambana. M’madziko manango, mabanja mazinjisa yambalambana. Koma msambo umweyu umbacitika lini kawiri-kawiri mu gwere lacikristau. Na tenepo, mabanja mazinji yacikristau yambakhala na mabvuto makulu m’mabanja mwawo.

11 Bibliya limbapereka malango aya: ‘Mkazi aleke kusiya mwamuna wace; tsono penu angamusiye, apitirize kukha wakusaya kulowodwa, penu an’kwanisa lini, abwererane na mwamuna waceyo. Mwamunambo aleke kusiya mkazi wace.’ (1 Wakolinto 7:10, 11) Mabanja manango yangawone ninga kuti mabvuto yawo njakunyanya kwene-kwene ndipo ambawona kuti n’bzakufunikira kusiyana. Na tenepo Jezu adalatiza momwe kupumirana kuliri nkhani ikulu pomwe adabwerezera bzomwe Mulungu akhadalewa kale pakuyambirira pakulewa bza banja ndipo adathumizira kuti: ‘Comwe Mulungu wacimanga pabodzi, munthu aleke kucilekanisa.’ (Mateu 19:3-6; Ciyambo 2:24) Bzomwe Yahova ambafuna n’bzakuti amuna na akazi apitirize kukhala pabodzi. (1 Wakolinto 7:39) Tensenefe tin’funika kukumbukira kuti tin’dzatawira kwa Yahova pa bzakucita bzathu. Bzimwebzi bzingatithandize kuti timbafulumize kumalisa mabvuto pomwe yanati kufika m’khosi.

Mabanja yacikristau yambakwanisa kumalisa mabvuto yawo thangwe yambabvuma kutsogoledwa na Mulungu

12. Kodi n’ciyani cingacitise kuti wanthu wakulowolana akumbukire bza kupumirana?

12 Kodi n’thangwe ranyi mabanja manango yambagumana na mabvuto makulu? Winango, ambawona kuti malowozi yawo ndibzo lini bzomwe akhadikhirira ndipo ambakhumudwa ayai kukalipa. Kawiri-kawiri, mabvuto yambabwera thangwe ra kusiyana kwa momwe iwo adaleredwera ayai momwe ambacitira bzinthu. Mabvuto na amibzala ayai kusaya kubverana pa nkhani ya kobiri ayai ya kuthumizira wana, bzingayambisembo mabvuto. Tsono, n’bzabwino kuwona kuti mabanja mazinji yacikristau yana njira zakumalisira mabvuto yawo thangwe yambabvuma kuti Mulungu awatsogolere.

13. Kuti anyakulowolana apumirane, kodi pan’funika kukhala na thangwe liponi lakubveka?

13 Lingakhale liripo thangwe lakubveka lakucitisa kuti wanthu wakulowolana apumirane. Khalidwe lakunyanya ninga kuleka kusamalalira banja, ciwembu ayai ndewo pabodzi na ngozi yakucita kuwoneka pa moyo wauzimu wacikristau ndiyo mathangwe yomwe yambacitisa winango kusankhula kupumirana. Pakawoneka  mabvuto makulu, wanthu wakulowolana an’funika kukumbira thandizo kuna akulu wa gwere. Amuna amwewa ana cidziwiso ndipo angathandize anyakulowolanawo kuphatisa basa malango ya Mulungu pa moyo wawo. Ndipo wanthu wakulowolana akakumbira Yahova mzimu wace wakucena, ungawathandize kuphatisa basa malango ya Bibliya na kulatiza makhalidwe yacikristau. (Wagalata 5:22, 23) [2]—Onani mafala yakuthumizira.

14. Kodi Bibliya limbalewa ciyani bza akristau omwe ali pa banja na munthu omwe ambatumikira lini Yahova?

14 Bibliya limbalatiza kuti pana mathangwe yakubveka bwino yakuti wanthu wakulowolana apitirize kukhala pabodzi napo penu m’bodzi ambanamata lini Yahova. (Werengani 1 Wakolinto 7:12-14.) Munthu wakusaya kukhulupirayo ‘ngwakucenesedwa’ thangwe ngwakulowolana na mtumiki wa Mulungu. Wana wawo ang’ono ambawonedwa kukhala ‘wakucena’ ndipo ambakhala wakukhotcereredwa na Mulungu. Paulo adalimbisa mabanja yacikristau kuti: ‘Mkaziwe, un’dziwa tani pinango ungapulumuse mwamuna wako? Ayai Mwamunawe, un’dziwa tani, pinango ungapulumuse mkazi wako?’ (1 Wakolinto 7:16) Pana bziratizo bzabwino kwene-kwene bza amuna na akazi wacikristau omwe adathandiza mwanzawo wa m’banja kukhala mtumiki wa Yahova.

15, 16. (a) Kodi ni malango yaponi yomwe Bibliya limbapereka kwa akazi wacikristau omwe amuna wawo mbatumiki lini wa Mulungu? (b) Kodi mkristau an’funika kucita ciyani ‘Penu nyakusaya kukhulupirayo wacoka?’

15 Mpostolo Pedru ambapereka malango kwa akazi wacikristau kuti ambabvere amuna wawo, ‘kuti winango akakhala wakusaya kukhulupira fala, atengeke sikuti na mafala, koma na makhalidwe ya azikazi wawo, thangwe ra kuwona wokha na maso yawo makhalidwe yawo yakucena pabodzi na ulemu bwawo bukulu.’ M’mbuto mwa kumbalewalewa bza cikhulupiro cawo nthawe zensene, akazi angathandize kwene-kwene amuna wawo kubvuma cadidi penu iwo angalatize ‘mzimu wakuderekha na wakupfatsa, omwe ngwakufunika kwene-kwene pamaso pa Mulungu.’—1 Pedru 3:1-4.

 16 Tani penu nyakusaya kukhulupira an’sankhula kupumirana? Bibliya limbati: ‘Penu nyakusaya kukhulupirayo wacoka, mulekeni acoke; bzimwebzi bzikacitika, m’bale ayai mpfumakazi ali lini wakumangika, koma Mulungu ankukucemerani kuti mukhale mu mtendere.’ (1 Wakolinto 7:15) Napo kuti nthawe zinango kulekana kungabwerese mtendere, mkristauyo mwakubverana na Bibliya, ali lini wakutsudzuka kuti alowolane na munthu munango. Koma an’funika lini kungingimira mwanzaceyo kuti apitirize kukhala naye. Na nthawe, pakufuna kubwezeresa malowoziyo, nyakusaya kukhulupirayo angasankhule kubwererana. Na kupita kwa nthawe, nyakusaya kukhulupirayo pinango angadzayambe kutumikira Yahova.

KODI N’CIYANI COMWE TIN’FUNIKA KUIKHA PA MBUTO YAKUYAMBA M’MALOWOZI?

Tikaikha patsogolo kunamata kwathu Yahova, mtendere m’banja mwathu un’dzathumizirika (Onani ndime 17)

17. Kodi n’ciyani cin’funika kukhala pa mbuto yakuyamba pa banja lacikristau?

17 Pakuti tinkukhala ‘m’nsiku zakumalizira,’ tinkugumana na ‘nthawe zakupambulika na zakunesa.’ (2 Timotio 3:1-5) Ndipopa tin’funika kukhala wakukhotcerereka pa mbverano wathu wakulimba na Yahova. Paulo adanemba kuti: ‘Nthawe yomwe yasalayi yafupika. Kuyambira tsapano, omwe ana akazi ambakhale ningati alibe . . . ndipo omwe ankuphatisa basa dzikoli akhale ninga omwe ankuliphatisa lini basa mwakukwana.’ (1 Wakolinto 7:29-31) Paulo akhathandauza lini kuti munthu wakulowola ayai kulowodwa an’funika kuwona mwanzaceyo ninga kuti alibe basa. Koma pakuti tinkukhala mu nsiku zakumalizira, tin’funika kuikha pa mbuto yakuyamba kunamata kwathu Yahova.—Mateu 6:33.

18. N’thangwe ranyi bzingakwanisike kwa akristau kukhala na mtendere ndipo bzinthu bziciwafambira bwino m’banja?

18 Mu nsiku zakunesa zino, timbawona kuti bzinthu bzinkufamba lini bwino m’mabanja mazinji. Tsono kodi bzingakwanisike kuti bzinthu bzifambire bwino mabanja, yacigumana mpfatso? Inde, bzingakwanisike tikapitiriza kukhala pa mbverano wabwino na Yahova pabodzi na wanthu wace, tikaphatisa basa mitemo ya m’Bibliya na kubvuma kutsogoledwa na mzimu wakucena wa Yahova. Tikacita bzimwebzi, tin’dzalemekeza ‘comwe Mulungu wacimanga pabodzi.’—Marko 10:9.

^ [1] (ndime 5) Madzina yacinjidwa.

^ [2] (ndime 13) Onani bukhu lakuti “Kodi Mungatani Kuti Mulungu Apitirize Kukukondani?”, zakumapeto, “Zimene Baibulo Limanena pa Nkhani Yothetsa Banja ndi Kupatukana,” matsamba 219-221.