Pitani ku nkhani yake

MFUNDO ZOTHANDIZA MABANJA

Zimene Mungachite Ngati Mumaona Zinthu Mosiyana

Zimene Mungachite Ngati Mumaona Zinthu Mosiyana

Kuona zinthu mosiyana pa nkhani ya zinthu zomwe amakonda, khalidwe ndiponso zizolowezi kungayambitse mavuto ena kwa anthu okwatirana. Komabe pali nkhani zina zovuta kwambiri kuposa zimenezi. Mwachitsanzo:

  • Kuchuluka kwa nthawi yoyenera kukhala ndi achibale

  • Kagwiritsidwe ntchito ka ndalama

  • Kusankha kukhala ndi ana kapena ayi

Kodi mungatani ngati mumaona zinthu mosiyana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu?

 Zimene muyenera kudziwa

Kugwirizana sikutanthauza kuti ndinu ofanana pa chilichonse.Ngakhale mwamuna ndi mkazi amene amagwirizana kwambiri, si kuti amaona zinthu mofanana, ngakhale pa nkhani zofunika kwambiri.

“Ndinakulira m’banja limene tinkakonda kuchitira zinthu limodzi. Kumapeto kwa wiki iliyonse tinkakacheza ndi agogo, ankolo, azakhali ndi achibale ena ambiri. Pamene kubanja lomwe mwamuna wanga anachokera, sankakonda kuchita zinthu limodzi. Zimenezi zimachititsa kuti tiziona zinthu mosiyana pa nkhani ya kuchuluka kwa nthawi yoyenera kucheza kapena kulankhulana ndi achibale athu omwe amakhala kutali.”—Tamara.

“Chifukwa chosiyana kokulira, ine ndi mkazi wanga tinkasemphana maganizo pa nkhani ya zinthu zoyenera kugula. Miyezi yoyambirira titangokwatirana kumene, tinkakangana pa nkhaniyi. Tinafunika kukambirana nkhaniyi kwa maulendo angapo kuti ithe.”—Tyler.

Anthu awiri akhoza kupita kumalo amodzi ofanana koma n’kukaona zinthu zosiyana. Zimenezi n’zomwenso zingachitikire mwamuna ndi mkazi, omwe asemphana maganizo pa nkhani inayake

Nkhani zina n’zovuta kungogonjera. Mwachitsanzo, kodi mungatani ngati apongozi anu adwala ndipo akusowa wowasamalira? Nanga bwanji ngati wina akufuna kukhala ndi ana pomwe wina sakufuna? *

“Maulendo angapo, ine ndi mkazi wanga takambiranapo kwa nthawi yaitali nkhani yokhudza kukhala ndi ana. Iye akufunitsitsa titakhala ndi ana, pomwe ine sindikufuna. Ndikuona kuti imeneyi si nkhani yoti n’kungogonjera.”—Alex.

Musalole kuti kusemphana maganizo kusokoneze banja lanu. Akatswiri ena amanena kuti ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake sakugwirizana pa nkhani inayake yaikulu, aliyense ayenera kungopanga zoti zimuthandize, ngakhale kuthetsa banja kumene. Koma kutsatira njira imeneyi kungasonyeze kuti ndinu odzikonda ndipo simukuona kufunika kwa zomwe munalonjeza kwa Mulungu, zoti mudzakhalabe ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo ngakhale zinthu zitavuta bwanji.

 Zimene mungachite

Muzikumbukira lumbiro limene munachita pa ukwati wanu. Mukamayesetsa kuchita zimene munalonjezana, zidzakuthandizani kuti muzichita zinthu mogwirizana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu pothana ndi mavuto.

Lemba lothandiza: “Chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”—Mateyu 19:6..

Muziganizira zomwe zingafunike. Mwachitsanzo, ngati wina akufuna kukhala ndi ana pomwe wina sakufuna, mungachite bwino kuganizira zinthu zingapo zofunika, monga:

  • Kulimba kwa banja lanu.

    Mukaganizira mmene zinthu zilili m’banja mwanu, kodi mungakwanitse kuwonjezeranso udindo wolera mwana?

  • Udindo umene makolo amakhala nawo.

    Kuwonjezera pa zakudya, zovala ndi malo ogona, pamafunikanso zinthu zina zambiri.

  • Mmene mumapezera ndalama.

    Kodi mungakwanitse kumagwira ntchito, kusamalira banja komanso maudindo ena apakhomo?

Lemba lothandiza: “Ndani wa inu amene akafuna kumanga nsanja sayamba wakhala pansi ndi kuwerengera ndalama zimene adzawononge?”—Luka 14:28.

Muziganizira mbali zonse za nkhaniyo. Mukatero mukhoza kukwanitsa kuthetsa nkhani zina zomwe mumasemphana maganizo. Mwachitsanzo, ngati nkhani yomwe yavuta ndi yokhudza kukhala ndi ana, amene sakufuna kukhala ndi anayo angadzifunse kuti:

  • ‘Ndikamanena kuti sindikufuna ana, kodi ndikutanthauza mpaka kalekale, kapena pano pokha?’

  • ‘Kodi ndikukayikira kuti sindingadzakhale kholo labwino?’

  • ‘Kodi ndikuopa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga adzachepetsa chikondi chimene amandipatsa?’

Kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi amene akufuna kukhala ndi ana ayenera kudzifunsa kuti:

  • ‘Kodi ndife okonzeka kukhala ndi udindo wosamalira ana?’

  • ‘Kodi tili ndi ndalama zokwanira zodzasamalirira mwana wathuyo?’

Lemba lothandiza: “Nzeru yochokera kumwamba . . . ndi yololera.”—Yakobo 3:17.

Muziganizira ubwino womwe ungakhalepo ngati mutatsatira maganizo a mnzanuyo. Anthu awiri akhoza kupita kumalo amodzi ofanana koma n’kukaona zinthu zosiyana. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi mmene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake angamaonere zinthu pa nkhani inayake. Mwachitsanzo, wina akhoza kumaona zinthu mosiyana ndi mnzake pa nkhani ya kagwiritsidwe ntchito ka ndalama. Choncho musanakambirane nkhani zomwe mumasemphana maganizo, yambani ndi zomwe mukuona mofanana. Mungaganizire zinthu ngati izi.

  • Kodi ndi zolinga ziti zomwe timafanana?

  • Kodi zimene mnzangayu akufuna zili ndi ubwino wotani?

  • Kuti banja lanu likhalebe lolimba, kodi sizingatheke kuti mmodzi kapena nonse musintheko pang’ono maganizo anu kuti agwirizane ndi a mnzanuyo?

Lemba lothandiza: “Aliyense asamangodzifunira zopindulitsa iye yekha basi, koma zopindulitsanso wina.”—1 Akorinto 10:24.

^ ndime 14 Nkhani zikuluzikulu ngati zimenezi zimafunika kuzikambirana musanakwatirane. Komabe nthawi zina zinthu zikhoza kusintha mosayembekezereka, kapenanso nthawi ikamapita wina akhoza kusintha maganizo amene anali nawo poyamba.—Mlaliki 9:11.