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NSANJA YA OLONDA OCTOBER 2013

Zimene Mungachite Ngati Banja Latha

Zimene Mungachite Ngati Banja Latha

“Banja langa litatha ndinasokonezeka maganizo kwambiri. Poyamba zinthu zinkayenda bwinobwino koma kenako zinangosintha kamodzin’kamodzi.”—ANATERO MARK, * patatha chaka chimodzi banja lake litatha.

“Mwamuna wanga ankachita chibwenzi ndi mtsikana wa msinkhu wa mwana wathu. Banja lathu litatha ndinkaona kuti ndapulumuka ku nkhanza zake komabe ndinkaonanso kuti wandichititsa manyazi ndipo ndinkadziona kuti ndine munthu wosafunika.”—ANATERO EMMELINE, patatha zaka 17 banja lake litatha.

Anthu ena amathetsa banja lawo poganiza kuti zinthu ziyamba kuyenda bwino pa moyo wawo akasiyana, pamene ena amafunitsitsa banja lawo litapitirira koma mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo amakhala asakufuna kuti banjalo lipitirire. Komabe anthu ambiri amene amathetsa banja amaona kuti zinthu siziyendabe bwino ngati mmene amaganizira. Ndipo ngati banja lanu latha posachedwapa, n’kutheka kuti mungakumane ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana amene simunakumanepo nawo. Choncho mungachite bwino kuwerenga nkhaniyi kuti mudziwe mfundo za m’Baibulo zomwe zingakuthandizeni kupirira mavuto amene mungakumane nawo chifukwa chakuti banja lanu latha.

VUTO LOYAMBA: KUGANIZIRA KWAMBIRI ZA MAVUTO AMENE MUKUKUMANA NAWO

Nthawi zambiri mukhoza kumavutika ndi nkhawa imene imabwera chifukwa cha mavuto a zachuma, kulera ana komanso kusowa wocheza naye, ndipo nthawi zina mavuto amenewa samatha msanga. Dokotala wina, dzina lake Judith Wallerstein, anaona kuti ngakhale patapita zaka zambiri banja litatha, anthu ena amaonabe kuti mnzawoyo anawapusitsa. Amaonanso kuti “moyo ndi wosapanganika moti zinthu sizingawayendere ngakhale atayesetsa kuchita zabwino.”

 ZIMENE MUNGACHITE

  • Nthawi zina ndi bwino kulira chifukwa cha zimene zasokonekera. N’kutheka kuti mwamusowa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu chifukwa mumamukondabe. Ngakhale zitakhala kuti banja lanu linali ndi mavuto mukhoza kulira chifukwa choti chisangalalo chimene munkaganizira kuti mudzakhala nacho m’banja sichinatheke. (Miyambo 5:18) Musamachite manyazi kupeza “nthawi yolira.”—Mlaliki 3:1, 4.

  • Musamadzipatule. N’zoona kuti nthawi zina mungafunike kukhala panokha kuti mulire, komabe si bwino kudzipatula nthawi yaitali. (Miyambo 18:1) Musamakonde kulankhula mawu onyoza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mukakhala ndi anzanu, ngakhale zomwe mukunenazo zitakhala zoona, chifukwa zimenezi zikhoza kupangitsa kuti anthu ena azikupewani. Ngati mukufuna kusankha zochita pa nkhani yaikulu, ndi bwino kupeza munthu wina amene mumamudalira kuti akuthandizeni.

  • Muzisamalira thanzi lanu. Nkhawa imene munthu amakhala nayo banja lake likatha, nthawi zambiri imayambitsa matenda ngati kupweteka kwa mutu komanso kuthamanga kwa magazi. Choncho, muzidya zakudya zopatsa thanzi, muzichita masewera olimbitsa thupi komanso muzigona mokwanira.—Aefeso 5:29.

  • Chotsani zinthu zimene zingamakukumbutseni za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu komanso zimene simudzazigwiritsanso ntchito. Koma sungani mapepala ofunika. Ngati zinthu zina monga zithunzi za ukwati wanu zikukukumbutsani za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, zichotseni koma musazitaye kuti ana anu adzazione m’tsogolo.

  • Muzipewa kumangoganizira zimene zinakuchitikiranizo. Mwachitsanzo, Olga amene anathetsa banja lake mwamuna wake atachita chigololo ananena kuti: “Nthawi zonse ndinkadzifunsa kuti ‘Kodi mkaziyo ali ndi chiyani chomwe ine ndilibe?’” Koma kenako Olga anazindikira kuti kumangoganizira zimene zinamuchitikira kukhoza kumupangitsa kuti akhale wosweka mtima.—Miyambo 18:14.

    Anthu ena amaona kuti kulemba mmene akumvera kumawathandiza kuti aziganiza bwino. Amachita zimenezi polemba maganizo olakwika amene anali nawo, kenako n’kulemba maganizo oyenera. (Aefeso 4:23) Taonani zitsanzo izi:

    Maganizo olakwika: Ineyo ndi amene ndinapangitsa kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga azichita zibwenzi.

    Maganizo oyenera: Ndi zoona kuti ndinkalakwitsa zinthu zina, komabe chimenechi si chifukwa chokwanira choti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga azichita zibwenzi.

    Maganizo olakwika: Ndinakwatirana ndi munthu wolakwika moti ndinangowononga nthawi yanga.

    Maganizo oyenera: Ndikhoza kukhala wosangalala ndikamaganizira kwambiri zam’tsogolo m’malo momangodandaula za zinthu zoti zinachitika kale.

  • Muzingonyalanyaza zinthu zokhumudwitsa zimene anthu ena angakuuzeni. Anzanu kapena achibale anu anganene zinthu zokukhumudwitsani kapena zosayenera, monga zakuti: ‘Amene uja sankakukhalanso ndikale’ kapena ‘Mulungu amadana ndi zoti anthu azithetsa banja.’ * N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limatichenjeza kuti: “Usamaganizire kwambiri mawu onse amene anthu amalankhula.” (Mlaliki 7:21) Martina, yemwe banja lake linatha zaka ziwiri zapitazo, ananena kuti: “M’malo moganizira kwambiri mawu okhumudwitsa, yesetsani kuona nkhaniyo mmene Mulungu akuionera. Maganizo ake ndi apamwamba kuposa maganizo athu.”—Yesaya 55:8, 9.

  • Muzipemphera kwa Mulungu chifukwa amalimbikitsa anthu amene amamulambira kuti ‘azimutulira nkhawa zawo zonse,’ makamaka akamakumana ndi mavuto osiyanasiyana.—1 Petulo 5:7.

TAYESANI IZI: Lembani mavesi a m’Baibulo amene mukuona kuti amakulimbikitsani ndipo muwaike pamalo osiyanasiyana pomwe mukhoza kumawaona mosavuta. Kuwonjezera pa mavesi amene alembedwa m’mwambamu, anthu ambiri amene mabanja awo anatha apindula kwambiri ndi mavesi otsatirawa: Salimo 27:10; 34:18; Yesaya 41:10; komanso Aroma 8:38, 39.

Muziwerenga Mawu a Mulungu kuti azikulimbikitsani

VUTO LACHIWIRI: MUMAFUNIKABE KUMALANKHULANA PA ZINTHU ZINA

Juliana, yemwe anakhala m’banja kwa zaka 11, ananena kuti: “Ndinam’chonderera mwamuna wanga kuti asachoke.  Koma atachoka ndinamukwiyira kwambiri komanso ndinakwiyira mkazi watsopano amene anakwatirayo.” Anthu ambiri amene banja lawo latha amakwiyira kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi amene anali naye pa banja ndipo amakhalabe okwiya kwa zaka zambiri. Komabe nthawi zina amakakamizika kulankhula naye, makamaka ngati ali ndi ana.

ZIMENE MUNGACHITE

  • Muzilankhulanabe mwaulemu. Muzingokambirana nkhani zofunika kwambiri ndipo musamafotokoze zinthu mozungulira. Anthu ambiri aona kuti kuchita zimenezi kumathandiza kuti akhalebe pa mtendere ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo wakale.—Aroma 12:18.

  • Muzipewa kulankhula zinthu zopsetsa mtima. Mnzanuyo akamakuimbani mlandu, mungachite bwino kutsatira malangizo a m’Baibulo akuti: “Aliyense wosalankhulapo mawu ake ndi wodziwa zinthu.” (Miyambo 17:27) Ngati mukuona kuti mukulephera kusintha nkhaniyo kuti musapsetsane mtima, mukhoza kunena kuti: “Ndikaganize kaye zomwe mwanenazo. Ndikuyankhani tsiku lina.”

  • Mukhale ndi mapepala anuanu a zakuchipatala, a ndalama komanso makalata a katundu amene muli naye.

TAYESANI IZI: Ulendo wina mukamadzalankhulana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale, mudzakhale tcheru kuona ngati mmodzi wa inu wayamba kudziikira kumbuyo kapena kuumirira mfundo zake. Ngati mukuona kuti zimenezi zikuchitika, muuzeni kuti mudzakambirane nkhaniyo nthawi ina. Kapena mungagwirizane zomalizitsa nkhaniyo pa imelo, kalata kapena uthenga wa pafoni.—Miyambo 17:14.

VUTO LACHITATU: KUTHANDIZA ANA ANU KUTI AZOLOWERE MOYO WATSOPANO

Maria anafotokoza zimene zinachitika banja lake litangotha. Iye ananena kuti: “Mwana wanga wamng’ono ankangolira nthawi zonse ndipo anayambiranso kukodza pogona. Mwana wanga wamkulu ankayesetsa kubisa kuti ndisadziwe mmene akumvera koma ndinkaona kuti nayenso anakhudzidwa kwambiri.” N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti banja likangotha kumene makolo ambiri amaona kuti alibe nthawi komanso mphamvu zothandizira ana awo, koma nthawi imeneyi ndi imene amafunika thandizo lawo kwambiri.

ZIMENE MUNGACHITE

  • Muzilimbikitsa ana anu kuti azikuuzani zakukhosi kwawo, ngakhale kuti nthawi zina zimenezi zingachititse kuti alankhule “zopanda pake.”—Yobu 6:2, 3.

  • Musamasenzetse ana udindo woti si wawo. N’zoona kuti mungafunike munthu womuuza nkhawa zanu ndipo mwina mwana wanu angamafune kukuthandizani, koma sibwino kupempha mwana kuti akuthandizeni pa mavuto akuluakulu osagwirizana ndi msinkhu wake. (1 Akorinto 13:11) Musamauze mwana wanu zachinsinsi ndipo musamamugwiritse ntchito ngati mkhalapakati kapena wotumiza mauthenga pakati pa inuyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale.

  • Yesetsani kusasintha zinthu zambiri pa moyo wa mwana wanu. Ndi bwino kusasintha malo okhala komanso kupitiriza kuchita zinthu mmene munkachitira kale. Komabe chinthu chofunika kwambiri ndi kupitiriza kuchitira limodzi zinthu zauzimu, monga kuwerenga Baibulo komanso kulimbitsa ubwenzi wanu ndi Mulungu.—Deuteronomo 6:6-9.

TAYESANI IZI: Pezani nthawi mlungu womwe uno yowatsimikizira ana anu kuti mumawakonda komanso kuti iwowo sanachititse kuti banja lanu lithe. Ayankheni mafunso amene ali nawo koma musaimbe mlandu mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu wakale.

Mukhoza kumakhala bwinobwino ngakhale banja lanu litatha. Melissa yemwe anakhala m’banja zaka 16, ananena kuti: “Banja langa litatha ndinadandaula kwambiri chifukwa sindinkafuna kuti zimenezi zidzandichitikire. Koma nditangovomereza kuti n’zosatheka kusintha zinthu zimene zinachitika kale, ndinasiya kukhala wokhumudwa.”

^ ndime 2 Tasintha maina ena m’nkhaniyi.

^ ndime 18 Mulungu amadana ndi zothetsa banja mwachinyengo kapena popanda zifukwa zomveka. Ngati wina wachita chigololo, Mulungu amapereka mwayi kwa wosalakwayo wothetsa banjalo ngati akufuna. (Malaki 2:16; Mateyu 19:9) Onani nkhani yakuti “Lingaliro la Baibulo—Kodi Nkusudzula kwa Mtundu Wotani Kumene Mulungu Amada?” m’Galamukani! ya February 8, 1994, yofalitsidwa ndi Mboni za Yehova.

DZIFUNSENI KUTI:

  • Kodi ndinalirapo chifukwa chakuti banja langa linatha?

  • Kodi ndingatani kuti ndisapitirize kukwiyira mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga wakale?