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Mboni za Yehova

Chichewa

NSANJA YA OLONDA (YOPHUNZIRA) MAY 2013

Makolo ndi Ana Ayenera Kulankhulana Mwachikondi

Makolo ndi Ana Ayenera Kulankhulana Mwachikondi

“Munthu aliyense akhale wofulumira kumva, wodekha polankhula, wosafulumira kukwiya.”—YAK. 1:19.

1, 2. Kodi makolo ndi ana awo amafunitsitsa kukhala pa ubwenzi wotani? Koma kodi nthawi zina pamakhala vuto lotani?

BUKU lina linanena zotsatira za kafukufuku amene anachitika ku United States. Pa kafukufukuyo, ana ambirimbiri anafunsidwa kuti: “Kodi mutadziwa kuti makolo anu amwalira mawa, n’chiyani chimene mungafune kuwauza?” Poyankha, pafupifupi ana onse sanaganizire za vuto lililonse limene linali pakati pa iwo ndi makolo awo. Koma anangonena kuti angakonde kuwauza kuti: “Pepani” ndiponso kuti: “Ndimakukondani kwambiri.”

2 Makolo ambiri, makamaka achikhristu, amakondana ndi ana awo. Ngakhale kuti makolo ndi ana amafunitsitsa kukhala pa ubwenzi wabwino, nthawi zina kulankhulana kumavuta. Ena amalankhulana momasuka komabe amapeweratu kukambirana nkhani zina. Kodi ndi zinthu ziti zimene zimalepheretsa kulankhulana bwino? Nanga mungatani kuti muzilankhulana bwino m’banja?

Musalole kuti zinthu zina zikulepheretseni kulankhulana m’banja

MUZIPEZA NTHAWI YOLANKHULANA

3. (a) N’chifukwa chiyani mabanja ambiri amavutika kulankhulana bwino? (b) N’chifukwa chiyani kale ku Isiraeli, mabanja sankavutika kupeza nthawi yolankhulana?

3 Mabanja ambiri sapeza nthawi yokwanira yolankhulana bwino. Koma si mmene zinalili m’mbuyomu. Mose analangiza abambo a ku Isiraeli kuti: ‘Muyenera kukhomereza mawu a Mulungu mwa ana anu. Muzilankhula nawo za mawuwo mukakhala pansi m’nyumba mwanu, poyenda pamsewu, pogona ndi podzuka.’ (Deut. 6:6, 7) Pa nthawiyo, ana ankakhala pakhomo ndi mayi awo, apo ayi ankapita kumunda kapena kuntchito ndi bambo awo. Zimenezi zinkathandiza kuti azikhala ndi nthawi yambiri yocheza ndiponso kulankhulana. Choncho, makolo ankatha kudziwa bwino ana awo ndiponso zofuna zawo. Nawonso ana ankatha kudziwa bwino makolo awo.

4. N’chifukwa chiyani mabanja ambiri masiku ano salankhulana?

 4 Koma zinthu zasintha kwambiri masiku ano. Kumayiko ena, ana amayamba sukulu ali aang’ono kwambiri, mwina ali ndi zaka ziwiri zokha. M’mabanja ambiri, makolo onse awiri amapita kuntchito. Ngakhale pa nthawi yochepa imene onse ali limodzi, kawirikawiri salankhulana chifukwa chogwiritsa ntchito zinthu ngati foni, kompyuta kapena kuonera TV. Makolo ndi ana ambiri sachitira zinthu pamodzi ndipo salankhulana bwinobwino moti amangokhala ngati sadziwana.

5, 6. Kodi makolo ena achita zotani kuti azipeza nthawi yambiri yocheza ndi ana awo?

5 Kodi mungasiye kuchita zinthu zina kuti muzipeza nthawi yocheza ndi banja lanu? (Werengani Aefeso 5:15, 16.) Mabanja ena asankha kuti achepetse nthawi yoonera TV kapena kugwiritsa ntchito kompyuta. Ena amayesetsa kuti azidyera limodzi mwina kamodzi tsiku lililonse. Nthawi ya Kulambira kwa Pabanja ndi yabwino kwambiri kuti makolo ndi ana akhale limodzi n’kumakambirana nkhani za m’Baibulo. Kupatula ola limodzi pa mlungu kuti muchite zimenezi n’kothandiza. Koma kuti muyambe kumasuka n’kumakambirana zakukhosi, muyenera kupeza nthawi yambiri yoti muzilankhulana pafupipafupi. Ana anu asanapite kusukulu, mungachite bwino kuwauza zinthu zolimbikitsa, kukambirana lemba la tsiku kapena kupemphera nawo. Izi zingathandize kuti zinthu ziwayendere bwino pa tsikulo.

6 Makolo ena asintha zinthu zina pa moyo wawo n’cholinga choti azipeza nthawi yambiri yocheza ndi ana awo. Mwachitsanzo, mayi wina dzina lake Laura * ali ndi ana awiri ndipo anasiya ntchito n’cholinga choti azisamalira bwino ana ake. Iye anati: “M’mbuyomu, kukangocha ine ndinkathamangira kuntchito ndipo ana anga ankathamangira kusukulu. Pofika kunyumba usiku, ndinkapeza ana anga atagonekedwa kale ndi wantchito. Panopa timapeza ndalama zochepa, koma ndikuona kuti ndimapeza nthawi yosamalira ana anga ndipo ndikuwadziwa bwino. Ndimamvetsera  mapemphero awo, ndimawalangiza, kuwalimbikitsa ndiponso ndimawaphunzitsa.”

KHALANI ‘OFULUMIRA KUMVA’

7. Kodi kawirikawiri makolo komanso ana amadandaula za chiyani?

7 Anthu amene analemba buku limene talitchula m’ndime yoyamba lija, atachita kafukufuku anapezanso chinthu china chimene chimalepheretsa kulankhulana bwino. Iwo anati: “Ana ambiri anadandaula kuti, ‘Makolo athu samvetsera tikamalankhula.’” Koma si makolo okha amene samvetsera. Nawonso makolo nthawi zambiri amadandaula kuti ana awo samva. Kuti anthu azilankhulana bwino m’banja, aliyense ayenera kuyesetsa kumvetsera wina akamalankhula.—Werengani Yakobo 1:19.

8. Kodi makolo angatani kuti azimvetsera ana awo akamalankhula?

8 Ngati ndinu makolo, kodi mumamvetsera ana anu akamalankhula? Kuchita zimenezi kumavuta ngati mwatopa kapena ngati nkhani imene akukuuzani ikuoneka kuti ndi yaing’ono. Koma nkhani imene inuyo mungaione ngati yaing’ono ingakhale yofunika kwambiri kwa mwana wanuyo. Kukhala “wofulumira kumva” kumatanthauza kumvetsera zimene mwana akunena komanso mmene akunenera zinthuzo. Mmene mawu ake akumvekera komanso mmene mwanayo akuonekera zingakuthandizeni kudziwa mmene akumvera mumtima mwake. Kufunsa mafunso kumathandizanso. Pajatu Baibulo limati: “Maganizo a mumtima mwa munthu ali ngati madzi akuya, koma munthu wozindikira ndi amene amawatunga.” (Miy. 20:5) Kuchita zinthu mwanzeru ndiponso mozindikira n’kofunika kwambiri kuti mudziwe maganizo a mwana wanu mukamakambirana nkhani zovuta.

9. N’chifukwa chiyani ana ayenera kumvera makolo awo?

9 Ngati ndinu mwana, kodi mumamvera makolo anu? Pajatu Baibulo limanenanso kuti: “Mwana wanga, tamvera malangizo a bambo ako, ndipo usasiye malamulo a mayi ako.” (Miy. 1:8) Musaiwale kuti makolo anu amakukondani ndipo amakufunirani zabwino, choncho muziwamvera. (Aef. 6:1) Kumvera sikuvuta ngati mumalankhulana bwino komanso ngati mukudziwa kuti makolo anu amakukondani. Muzifotokozera makolo anu maganizo anu pa nkhani zosiyanasiyana. Izi zidzathandiza kuti azikumvetsani. Koma nanunso muyenera kuyesetsa kuwamvetsa.

10. Kodi tikuphunzira chiyani pa nkhani ya Rehabiamu?

10 Muyenera kusamala kwambiri ndi malangizo amene achinyamata anzanu angakupatseni. Malangizo awo akhoza kukusangalatsani koma mwina sangakuthandizeni. Mwinanso mukhoza kukumana ndi mavuto ngati mutatsatira malangizo awo. Nzeru za achinyamata ambiri zimakhala zoperewera choncho saona patali. Iwo saganiziranso mavuto amene angabwere chifukwa chochita zinthu zinazake. Kumbukirani zimene zinachitikira mwana wa Mfumu Solomo, dzina lake Rehabiamu. Pa nthawi imene anali mfumu ya Isiraeli, zinthu zikanamuyendera bwino akanatsatira malangizo a anthu achikulire. Koma anamvera malangizo osathandiza amene achinyamata anzake anamupatsa. Izi zinachititsa kuti anthu ambiri mu ufumu wake asiye kumutsatira. (1 Maf. 12:1-17) M’malo motsatira chitsanzo choipa cha Rehabiamu, yesetsani kuti muzilankhulana momasuka ndi makolo anu. Komanso muziwafotokozera zimene zili mumtima mwanu. Dziwani kuti zinthu zidzakuyenderani bwino mukamatsatira malangizo awo anzeru.—Miy. 13:20.

11. Kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati makolo samasuka ndi ana awo?

11 Makolonu, muyenera kukhala omasuka ndi ana anu chifukwa kupanda kutero, anawo aziyendera maganizo a achinyamata anzawo. Mtsikana wina anati: “Ndikangotchula dzina  la mnyamata, makolo anga amakhumudwa. Izi zimachititsa kuti ndingosiya kulankhula nawo.” Mtsikana winanso analemba kuti: “Achinyamata ambiri amafuna malangizo a makolo awo koma ngati makolowo akuoneka kuti sizikuwakhudza, amakafunsa nzeru kwa ena, mwina achinyamata anzawo.” Makolo, kumbukirani kuti mukamamvetsera bwino pamene mwana wanu akulankhula, mwanayo angamasukenso kukuuzani zakukhosi. Iye angayambenso kutsatira malangizo anu.

KHALANI ‘ODEKHA POLANKHULA’

12. Kodi zochita za makolo zingalepheretse bwanji ana kunena zakukhosi kwawo?

12 Kulankhulana bwino kumasokonezekanso ngati makolo sachedwa kupsa mtima pamene ana awo akawauza zinazake. “Masiku otsiriza” ano, pali zinthu zambiri zoopsa ndipo zina zingawononge ubwenzi wathu ndi Yehova. (2 Tim. 3:1-5) N’zoona kuti makolo achikhristu amafunitsitsa kuteteza ana awo. Komabe, zimene makolo angachite nthawi zina poteteza ana awo, anawo sangasangalale nazo.

13. N’chifukwa chiyani makolo ayenera kusamala kuti asamafulumire kunena maganizo awo?

13 Ndi bwino kuti makolo asamafulumire kunena maganizo awo, ana awo akamawauza zinthu zina. N’zoona kuti nthawi zina zimavuta kuugwira mtima ana anu akamakuuzani nkhani yokhumudwitsa. Koma m’pofunika kumvetsera mwatcheru musanayankhe. Solomo, yemwe anali mfumu yanzeru, analemba kuti: “Munthu aliyense woyankhira nkhani asanaimvetsetse n’ngopusa, ndipo amachita manyazi.” (Miy. 18:13) Mukaugwira mtima, mwana wanu angakuuzeni zambiri. Pamafunika kumva nkhani yonse musanayambe kumuthandiza. Musaiwale kuti mwana akhoza kulankhula zinthu “zopanda pake” chifukwa chakuti akuvutika kwambiri mumtima. (Yobu 6:1-3) Kuti musonyeze kuti ndinu makolo achikondi, muyenera kumvetsera mwatcheru kenako n’kumuthandiza.

14. N’chifukwa chiyani ana ayenera kukhala odekha polankhula?

14 Nanunso ana muyenera kukhala ‘odekha polankhula.’ Izi zikutanthauza kuti musamangofulumira kutsutsa zimene makolo anu akuuzani. Pajatu Mulungu anawapatsa udindo woti azikuphunzitsani. (Miy. 22:6) Mwina nawonso anakumana ndi zimene mukukumana nazo panopa. Komanso, iwo amadandaula akakumbukira zinthu zina zimene analakwitsa pamene anali achinyamata moti safuna kuti inunso mulakwitse zinthu zomwezo. Choncho muziona kuti makolo anu ndi anzanu oti azikulangizani osati adani anu oti muzikangana nawo. (Werengani Miyambo 1:5.) Malemba amati: “Uzilemekeza bambo ako ndi mayi ako.” Musaiwale kuti makolo anu amakukondani, choncho inunso muzichita zinthu zosonyeza kuti mumawakonda. Mukatero, iwo sadzavutika ‘kukulerani m’malangizo a Yehova ndi kukuphunzitsani kaganizidwe kake.’—Aef. 6:2, 4.

‘MUSAMAFULUMIRE KUKWIYA’

15. N’chiyani chingatithandize kuti tiziugwira mtima?

15 Anthufe nthawi zina sitileza mtima ndi anthu amene timawakonda. M’kalata yake yopita kwa Akhristu a ku Kolose, mtumwi Paulo analemba kuti: “Inu amuna, musaleke kukonda akazi anu ndipo musamawapsere mtima kwambiri. Inu abambo, musamakwiyitse ana anu, kuti angakhale okhumudwa.” (Akol. 1:1, 2; 3:19, 21) Paulo analangizanso Akhristu ku Efeso kuti: “Kuwawidwa mtima konse kwa njiru, kupsa mtima, mkwiyo, kulalata ndiponso mawu achipongwe zichotsedwe mwa inu.” (Aef. 4:31) Ngakhale zinthu zitafika povuta tiyenera kuugwira mtima. Kuti zimenezi zitheke, tiyenera kukhala ndi makhalidwe amene  mzimu woyera umatulutsa, monga kuleza mtima, kufatsa ndi kudziletsa.—Agal. 5:22, 23.

16. Kodi Yesu anathandiza bwanji ophunzira ake? N’chifukwa chiyani tinganene kuti zimene anachitazo sizinali zophweka?

16 Yesu ndi chitsanzo chabwino pa nkhaniyi. Usiku woti aphedwa mawa lake, iye anali ndi nkhawa kwambiri pamene ankadya chakudya chamadzulo ndi atumwi ake. Ankadziwa kuti imfa yake ikhala yapang’onopang’ono ndiponso yopweteka kwambiri. Iye ankadziwanso kuti akufunika kukhalabe wokhulupirika kuti dzina la Atate wake liyeretsedwe komanso anthu apulumutsidwe. Koma pa nthawi ya chakudyacho, “panabuka mkangano woopsa” pakati pa atumwiwo za amene anali wamkulu kwambiri. Yesu sanawakalipire kapena kuwapsera mtima. M’malomwake, anakambirana nawo modekha. Iye anawakumbutsa kuti iwo ndi amene anakhalabe naye m’mayesero ake. Yesu anasonyeza kuti ankadziwa zoti atumwiwo akhalabe okhulupirika ngakhale Satana atawapeta ngati tirigu. Iye mpaka anachita nawo pangano.—Luka 22:24-32.

Kodi mumamvetsera mwatcheru ana anu akamalankhula?

17. N’chiyani chingathandize ana kuti akhale odekha?

17 Ananso ayenera kukhala odekha. Ana, makamaka achinyamata, akamapatsidwa malangizo amaona ngati makolo awo sawakhulupirira. Ngakhale kuti nthawi zina zingaoneke choncho, kumbukirani kuti makolo amakulangizani chifukwa chokukondani. Mukamawamvetsera ndiponso kutsatira malangizo awo, iwonso azikulemekezani komanso kukudalirani. Izi zingachititse kuti azikupatsani ufulu wambiri pa zinthu zina. Kukhala odziletsa n’kofunika kwambiri. Mwambi wina umati: “Wopusa amatulutsa mkwiyo wake wonse, koma wanzeru amakhala wodekha mpaka pamapeto.”—Miy. 29:11.

18. Kodi chikondi chimathandiza bwanji kuti anthu azilankhulana bwino?

18 Choncho inu makolo komanso ana musataye mtima ngati mukuona kuti m’banja lanu simulankhulana momasuka. Yesetsani kuti muzilankhulana bwino ndipo muziyendabe m’choonadi. (3 Yoh. 4) Tizikumbukira kuti tizidzalankhulana popanda vuto lililonse m’dziko latsopano tikadzakhala angwiro. Koma panopa, tonsefe timalakwitsa zinthu zina ndipo timamva nazo chisoni. Izi zikachitika tizingopepesana n’kukhululukirana ndi mtima wonse. Tiyeni tiziyesetsa kukhala ogwirizana ndiponso tizikondana. (Akol. 2:2) Muzikumbukira kuti chikondi ndi champhamvu. Paja Baibulo limanena kuti chikondi ‘n’choleza mtima, chokoma mtima, sichikwiya ndiponso sichisunga zifukwa. Chimakwirira zinthu zonse, chimakhulupirira zinthu zonse, chimayembekezera zinthu zonse ndiponso chimapirira zinthu zonse.’ (1 Akor. 13:4-7) Choncho muziyesetsabe kukondana kwambiri. Mukatero, muzilankhulana bwino ndipo banja lanu lidzakhala losangalala komanso lolemekeza Yehova.

^ ndime 6 Dzina lasinthidwa.