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GALAMUKANI! NA. 6 2016

 Mfundo Zothandiza Mabanja | Mwamuna Ndi Mkazi Wake

Kodi Mungasonyezane Bwanji Ulemu?

Kodi Mungasonyezane Bwanji Ulemu?

VUTO LIMENE LIMAKHALAPO

Mwamuna ananena kuti: “Titangokwatirana kumene, ine ndi mkazi wanga tinali ndi maganizo osiyana pa nkhani ya mmene tingamasonyezerane ulemu. Sikuti pali amene anali ndi maganizo olakwika ayi, tinkangoona zinthu mosiyana basi. Nthawi zambiri ndinkaona kuti mkazi wanga sankandilankhula mwaulemu ngati mmene ndikanafunira.”

Mkazi ananena kuti: “Kumene ine ndinakulira tinkakonda kulankhulana ndi mawu okweza, kupanga tsinya kapena zinazake pankhope polankhula komanso kudulana mawu. Kuchita zimenezi sitinkakuona ngati kupanda ulemu. Koma ndi zosiyana kwambiri ndi chikhalidwe cha kwawo kwa mwamuna wanga.”

Kusonyezana ulemu m’banja ndi chinthu chofunika kwambiri. Koma kodi mungasonyeze bwanji mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu kuti mumamulemekeza?

ZIMENE MUYENERA KUDZIWA

Amuna amafuna kulemekezedwa. Baibulo limauza amuna kuti: “Aliyense wa inu akonde mkazi wake ngati mmene amadzikondera yekha.” Koma kenako limapitiriza kuti: “Mkazi azilemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wake.” (Aefeso 5:33) Ngakhale kuti amuna ndi akazi omwe amafuna kukondedwa ndiponso kulemekezedwa, amuna ndi amene amasangalala kwambiri akamalemekezedwa. Mwamuna wina dzina lake Carlos * anati: “Amuna amafuna kuti azidzimva kuti amatha kuthetsa mavuto ndiponso kusamalira banja lawo.” Mkazi akamalemekeza mwamuna wake chifukwa choti amachita bwino zinthu zimenezi, mwamunayo amasangalala ndipo mkaziyonso zimamuyendera bwino. Mkazi wina dzina lake Corrine anati: “Ndikamalemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wanga, iyenso amandikonda kwambiri.”

Nawonso akazi amafuna kulemekezedwa. Zimenezi ndi zomveka chifukwa ngati mwamuna salemekeza mkazi wake, n’zovuta kuti amukonde. Mwamuna wina dzina lake Daniel anati: “Ndikufunika kumalemekeza maganizo a mkazi wanga komanso mmene akumvera pa nkhani inayake. Sindiyenera kunyalanyaza mmene akumvera, ngakhale pamene sindikumvetsa chifukwa chake zinazake zamukhudza kwambiri.”

Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amaonadi kuti mumamulemekeza? Nkhani yagona pa mmene mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu amaonera ulemu umene mumamupatsa, osati pa mmene inuyo mumaonera zimene mumachita. Mkazi amene tamutchula pakamutu kakuti “Vuto Limene Limakhalapo” uja anazindikira mfundo imeneyi ndipo anati: “Ngakhale kuti ineyo sindinkaona kuti zimene ndikuchitazo ndi kupanda ulemu, ndinkafunikabe kusintha chifukwa zinkamupangitsa mwamuna wanga kuona kuti sakulemekezedwa.”

 ZIMENE MUNGACHITE

  • Lembani zinthu zitatu zokhudza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu zimene zimakusangalatsani. Zinthu zimenezi ndi zomwe zingachititse kuti muzimulemekeza.

  • Kwa mlungu umodzi, ganizirani mmene inuyo (osati mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu) mumachitira pa zinthu zotsatirazi:

Zimene mumalankhula. Kafukufuku wina anasonyeza kuti “anthu amene ali ndi banja losangalala komanso lolimba, akamakambirana za vuto linalake amanena zinthu 5 zabwino pa chinthu chimodzi chilichonse cholakwika. Koma mabanja osalimba amakonda kumangokambirana zinthu zolakwika zokhazokha.” *Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 12:18.

Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimalankhula mwaulemu kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga? Ndikayerekezera nthawi zimene ndimamuyamikira ndi zimene ndimatchula zomwe walakwitsa, kodi zikuchuluka ndi ziti? Kodi mawu anga amamveka bwanji ndikamafotokoza maganizo anga?’ Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu angavomereze zimene mwayankhazo?—Lemba lothandiza: Akolose 3:13.

Tayesani izi: Yesetsani kuti tsiku lililonse muziyamikira mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu pa chinthu chinachake. Mungachite izi: Onaninso zinthu zimene zimakusangalatsani zomwe munalemba zija. Khalani ndi chizolowezi chouza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu zinthu zimene amakusangalatsani.—Lemba lothandiza: 1 Akorinto 8:1.

Zimene mumachita. Mkazi wina dzina lake Alicia anati: “Zimanditengera nthawi yambiri kuti ndigwire ntchito zonse zapakhomo ndipo mwamuna wanga akamaika pamalo pake zinthu zimene wagwiritsa ntchito kapena akamatsuka mbale zimene wadyera, ndimamva kuti amayamikira ntchito imene ndagwira komanso kuti amandiganizira.”

Dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi ndimasonyezadi kuti ndimalemekeza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga? Kodi ndimacheza naye mokwanira ndiponso kumumvetsera akamafotokoza maganizo ake?’ Kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu angavomereze zimene mwayankhazo?

Tayesani izi: Lembani zinthu zitatu zimene mukufuna kuti mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu azichita posonyeza kuti amakulemekezani. Pemphani mnzanuyo kuti nayenso alembe zimene akufuna. Kenako aliyense apatse mnzake zimene walemba n’cholinga choti aliyense azichita zimene mnzakeyo akufuna. Muziganizira kwambiri zimene inuyo muyenera kuchita posonyeza kuti mumalemekeza mnzanuyo. Mukayamba inuyo kulemekeza mnzanuyo, nayenso akhoza kuyamba kukulemekezani.

^ ndime 8 Mayina ena asinthidwa m’nkhaniyi.

^ ndime 14 Mfundozi n’zochokera m’buku lakuti, Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage.

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