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Galamukani!  |  November 2015

 MFUNDO ZOTHANDIZA MABANJA | MAKOLO

Muziyamikira Ana Anu

Muziyamikira Ana Anu

VUTO LIMENE LIMAKHALAPO

Anthu ena amaona kuti palibe vuto kumangoyamikira chilichonse chimene mwana wachita. Pomwe ena amaona kuti zimenezi n’zosamveka chifukwa ngati makolo atamachita zimenezi, mwanayo amayamba kudzimva n’kumaona kuti ndi wofunika kuposa aliyense.

Kodi inuyo mumaona kuti palibe vuto kumangoyamikira mwana wanu chilichonse? Kapena mumaona kuti kuchita zimenezi n’kumusasatitsa? Nanga mungamuyamikire bwanji mwana wanu kuti apitirizebe kumachita zinthu zakupsa?

ZIMENE MUYENERA KUDZIWA

Dziwani kuti si kuyamikira konse komwe kuli kothandiza. Taonani zitsanzo izi.

Kungoyamikira mwana zilizonse. Makolo ena amangoyamikira chilichonse chimene ana awo achita poganiza kuti ziwathandiza kuti asamadziderere. Koma wolemba mabuku wina, dzina lake David Walsh, ananena kuti: “Makolo ayenera kudziwa kuti ana nawonso ndi anzeru, moti amatha kudziwa ngati mukungoyamikira n’cholinga choti muwasangalatse. Ndiye ngati atangokutulukirani, akhoza kusiya kukukhulupirirani.” *

Kumangoyamikira mwana akakhala ndi luso linalake. Tiyerekeze kuti mwana wanu ali ndi luso lojambula. Monga kholo mungaone kuti kuyamikira mwanayo kungamupatse mphamvu kuti akhale katswiri wodziwa kujambula. Komabe, kungoyamikira mwana wanu chifukwa cha luso limene ali nalo kungamusokoneze ndipo kungapangitse kuti aziona kuti moyo ndi wophweka. Angamaganize kuti munthu akangokhala ndi luso, ndiye kuti basi zinthu zizingomuyendera. Ndiyeno akangozindikira kuti alibe luso lochitira chinthu chinachake, akhoza kugwa mphwayi n’kumaganiza kuti sangakwanitse.

Kuyamikira mwana akamachita khama ndiye kofunika. Makolo akamayamikira ana chifukwa cha khama amawathandiza kudziwa kuti munthu safunika kungodalira luso lake lobadwa nalo basi koma amafunikanso kuchita khama komanso kuleza mtima kuti akhalenso waluso pa zinthu zina. Buku  lina linanena kuti: “Ana akaphunzira kukhala akhama komanso oleza mtima, zinazake zikawavuta amaphunzirapo kanthu m’malo modziona kuti ndi olephera.”—Letting Go With Love and Confidence.

ZIMENE MUNGACHITE

Muzimuyamikira akachita khama. Kuuza mwana wanu amene amadziwa kujambula kuti, “Umachita bwino kulimbikira zojambula,” kungamuthandize kwambiri m’malo momuuza kuti, “Iweyo palibenso. Uli ndi luso kwambiri.” N’zoona kuti mawu onsewa ndi oyamikira, koma mawu achiwiriwo angamupangitse mwana wanuyo kuganiza kuti ngati atapanda kukhala ndi luso lochitira zinthu zinazake, ndiye kuti basi sangazikwanitse.

Mukamayamikira mwana wanu akachita khama, mumakhala mukumuthandiza kudziwa kuti, kanthu ndi khama phwiti anakwatira njiwa. Ndiyeno mwana akadziwa zimenezi, sangamaope kuchita zinthu zina ngakhale zinthuzo zitakhala zovuta.—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 14:23.

Thandizani mwana wanu kudziwa kuti masiku sakoma onse. Ngakhale anthu abwino amalakwitsa zinthu nthawi zina. (Miyambo 24:16) Komabe, akalakwitsa samangokhala pansi, koma amaphunzirapo kanthu n’kumayesetsa kuti azichita bwino zinthu. Ndiye kodi mungamuthandize bwanji mwana wanu kuti akalakwitsa asamakhumudwe?

Apanso mungachite bwino kumuyamikira chifukwa cha khama limene wachita. Mwachitsanzo, tiyerekeze kuti mumakonda kumuuza mwana wanu kuti, “Ndiwe wanzeru kwambiri, umadziwa masamu.” Kodi mukuganiza kuti chingachitike n’chiyani ngati atalephera mayeso a masamu? Akhozatu kukhumudwa kwambiri n’kusiya kulimbikira.

Choncho, mukamayamikira mwana wanu chifukwa cha khama lake, mumakhala mukumuthandiza kuti azikhala wopirira. Amazindikira kuti akalephera, si ndiye kuti basi zake zada. Amadziwa kuti ngati atapitirizabe kuchita khama kapena kuyesa njira zina, akhoza kuyambiranso kuchita bwino.—Lemba lothandiza: Yakobo 3:2.

Muzimulangiza akalakwitsa. Mungachitenso bwino kumauza mwana wanu zinthu zimene walakwitsa. Koma muzichita zimenezi mosamala kuti mwanayo asakhumudwe. Komanso ngati mumamuyamikira akachita bwino, angaone kuti mumamufunira zabwino. Ndiyeno mukamamuuza zimene walakwitsa angaone kuti mukufuna kumuthandiza ndipo akhoza kuyesetsa kutsatira zimene mwamuuzazo. Zimenezi zingamuthandize kuti ayambirenso kuchita bwino, ndipo inuyo komanso mwana wanuyo mungakhale osangalala.—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 13:4.

^ ndime 8 Zachokera m’buku lakuti: No: Why Kids—of All Ages—Need to Hear It and Ways Parents Can Say It.

Onaninso

BANJA LANU LIKHOZA KUKHALA LOSANGALALA

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