“Chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu sichingaduke msanga.”​—MLALIKI 4:12.

1, 2. (a) Kodi anthu amene angokwatirana kumene amayembekezera zotani? (b) Kodi tikambirana chiyani?

ZIMAKHALA zosangalatsa kuona mkwati ndi mkwatibwi pa tsiku la ukwati wawo. Amakhala osangalala kwambiri ndipo amaoneka kuti akuyembekezera kuti banja lawo lidzakhala lolimba komanso losangalala mpaka kalekale.

2 Komabe mabanja ambiri amene ankayenda bwino poyamba, amasintha m’kupita kwa nthawi. Kuti banja lisathe komanso likhale losangalala, pamafunika kuti okwatiranawo azitsatira malangizo a Mulungu. Tiyeni tikambirane mayankho a m’Baibulo a mafunso awa: Kodi ubwino wokhala pa banja ndi wotani? Ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, kodi mungasankhe bwanji munthu woyenera? Kodi mungatani kuti mukhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino? Nanga n’chiyani chingathandize kuti banja lanu likhale lolimba?​—Werengani Miyambo 3:5, 6.

KODI NDIKWATIRE?

3. Kodi munthu angakhale wosangalala pokhapokha akakhala pa banja? Fotokozani.

3 Anthu ambiri amakhulupirira kuti munthu sangakhale wosangalala pokhapokha ngati atakwatira kapena kukwatiwa. Koma zimenezi si zoona. Yesu ananena kuti kusakhala pa banja ndi mphatso. (Mateyu 19:11, 12) Nayenso mtumwi  Paulo ananena kuti kusakhala pa banja kuli ndi ubwino wake. (1 Akorinto 7:32-38) Koma munthu aliyense ayenera kusankha yekha ngati akufuna kukhala pa banja kapena ayi. Simuyenera kukakamizika kulowa m’banja chifukwa cha anzanu, achibale anu kapena chikhalidwe chanu.

4. Kodi banja labwino lili ndi ubwino wotani?

4 Baibulo limanena kuti kukhala pa banjanso ndi mphatso yochokera kwa Mulungu ndipo kuli ndi ubwino wake. Ponena za Adamu, yemwe anali munthu woyamba, Yehova anati: “Si bwino kuti munthu akhale yekha. Ndimupangira womuthandiza, monga mnzake womuyenerera.” (Genesis 2:18) Yehova analenga Hava kuti akhale mkazi wa Adamu ndipo limeneli linakhala banja loyamba. Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ali ndi ana, banja lawo liyenera kukhala malo abwino olereramo anawo. Koma cholinga cha banja sikungobereka ana.​—Salimo 127:3; Aefeso 6:1-4.

5, 6. Kodi banja lingakhale bwanji ngati “chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu”?

5 Mfumu Solomo inalemba kuti: “Awiri amaposa mmodzi, chifukwa amapeza mphoto yabwino pa ntchito yawo imene amaigwira mwakhama. Ngati mmodzi wa iwo atagwa, winayo akhoza kum’dzutsa mnzakeyo. Koma kodi zingakhale bwanji munthu mmodzi atagwa popanda wina woti am’dzutse? . . . Ndipo chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu sichingaduke msanga.”​—Mlaliki 4:9-12.

6 Banja likamayenda bwino, mwamuna kapena mkazi amaona kuti wapeza mnzake wapamtima yemwe amamuthandiza, kumulimbikitsa ndiponso kumuteteza. Chikondi chingathandize kuti banja likhale lolimba komabe banja limalimba kwambiri ngati mwamuna ndi mkaziyo amalambira Yehova. Banja lotere limakhala ngati “chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu.” Chingwe chotere chimakhala cholimba kwambiri kuposa chingwe  chopotedwa ndi zingwe ziwiri zokha. Banjanso limakhala lolimba ngati m’banjamo muli Yehova.

7, 8. Kodi Paulo anapereka malangizo otani okhudza mabanja?

7 Anthu akakwatirana, angathe kukwaniritsa chilakolako chawo chogonana. (Miyambo 5:18) Komabe ngati munthu akufuna kulowa m’banja chifukwa chongofuna kukwaniritsa chilakolako chogonana, sangasankhe mwanzeru munthu woyenera kukwatirana naye. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limati munthu ayenera kukwatira kapena kukwatiwa akapitirira “pachimake pa unyamata,” chifukwa munthu akakhala wachinyamata chilakolako chogonana chimakhala champhamvu kwambiri. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Ndi bwino kudikira kaye n’kudzalowa m’banja pa nthawi imene chilakolako chogonana sichikhala champhamvu. Pa nthawi imeneyi munthu amaganiza bwino ndipo angathe kusankha mwanzeru.​—1 Akorinto 7:9; Yakobo 1:15.

8 Ngati mukuganiza zolowa m’banja, muyenera kuzindikira kuti banja lililonse limakumana ndi mavuto. Paulo ananena kuti anthu onse amene amalowa m’banja “adzakhala ndi nsautso m’thupi mwawo.” (1 Akorinto 7:28) Ngakhale mabanja amene akuyenda bwino, nthawi zina amakumanabe ndi mavuto. Choncho ngati mukufuna kukwatira, muyenera kusankha mwanzeru munthu wokwatirana naye.

KODI NDIKWATIRANE NDI MUNTHU WOTANI?

9, 10. Kodi chingachitike n’chiyani ngati titakwatirana ndi munthu amene salambira Yehova?

9 Posankha munthu woti adzakhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, muyenera kukumbukira mfundo ya m’Baibulo iyi: “Musamangidwe m’goli ndi osakhulupirira, chifukwa ndinu osiyana.” (2 Akorinto 6:14) Chitsanzo chimenechi ndi chochokera pa zimene alimi omwe ankagwiritsa  ntchito nyama polima ankachita. Mlimi sankatenga nyama zosiyana mphamvu komanso kukula kwake n’kuzimangirira ku goli limodzi. Ankadziwa kuti akachita zimenezi ndiye kuti nyama iliyonse izivutika. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, ngati munthu amene amalambira Yehova wakwatirana ndi munthu wosalambira Yehova, banja lawo likhoza kukhala ndi mavuto ambiri. N’chifukwa chake Baibulo limatiuza kuti tiyenera kukwatira kapena kukwatiwa “mwa Ambuye.”​—1 Akorinto 7:39.

10 Akhristu ena amaona kuti bola kukwatirana ndi munthu amene salambira Yehova kusiyana n’kukhala okha. Koma tikanyalanyaza malangizo a m’Baibulo, zotsatira zake zimakhala zowawa komanso sitikhala osangalala. Akhristufe timaona kuti kutumikira Mulungu ndi kofunika kwambiri kuposa chilichonse. Ndiye mungamve bwanji ngati simukuchitira limodzi ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu zinthu zokhudza kulambira Mulungu? Ena akaganizira zimenezi, amaona kuti kuli bwino kukhala wosakwatira kapena wosakwatiwa kusiyana ndi kukhala pa banja ndi munthu amene sakonda Yehova ndiponso kumutumikira.​—Werengani Salimo 32:8.

11. Kodi mungasankhe bwanji munthu wokwatirana naye?

11 Izi sizikutanthauza kuti munthu aliyense amene amatumikira Yehova angakhale mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino. Ngati mukufuna kulowa m’banja, fufuzani munthu amene mungamukondedi komanso amene mungamvane naye. Muyenera kufufuzabe mpaka mutapeza munthu amene ali ndi zolinga zofanana ndi zanu komanso zochita zake zimasonyeza kuti amaona kuti kutumikira Mulungu n’kofunika kwambiri. Muziwerenga komanso kuganizira kwambiri malangizo okhudza mabanja amene amapezeka m’mabuku athu.​—Werengani Salimo 119:105.

12. Kodi makolo amene akufuna kupezera mwana wawo munthu wokwatirana naye angaphunzire mfundo iti m’Baibulo?

 12 M’zikhalidwe zina makolo ndi amene amasankhira mwana wawo munthu woti akwatirane naye. Anthu a zikhalidwezi amaona kuti makolo ndi amene amadziwa munthu amene angakhale woyenera kwa mwana wawo. Kale anthu ankakonda kutsatira njira imeneyi. Choncho ngati banja lanu lingasankhe kuti litsatire njira imeneyi, Baibulo lingathandize makolo kudziwa makhalidwe omwe munthu amene akufunira mwana wawoyo ayenera kukhala nawo. Mwachitsanzo, pamene Abulahamu ankafufuza mkazi wa Isake, cholinga chake sichinali kupeza mkazi wandalama  kapena wotchuka, koma wokonda Yehova.​—Genesis 24:3, 67; onani Mawu Akumapeto 25.

KODI NDINGAKONZEKERE BWANJI BANJA?

13-15. (a) Kodi mwamuna angakonzekere bwanji kuti adzakhale mwamuna wabwino? (b) Kodi mkazi angakonzekere bwanji kuti adzakhale mkazi wabwino?

13 Ngati mukuganiza zokwatira kapena kukwatiwa, onetsetsani kuti ndinu wokonzekadi. Mukhoza kumaona ngati mwakonzekera, koma tiyeni tikambirane zinthu zimene zingasonyezedi kuti munthu wakonzekera banja. Zina zikhoza kukhala zoti simunaziganizire.

Muzipeza nthawi yowerenga komanso kuganizira malangizo a m’Mawu a Mulungu okhudza ukwati

14 Baibulo limasonyeza kuti amuna ndi akazi ali ndi maudindo osiyana m’banja. Zimenezi zikusonyeza kuti mmene mwamuna angakonzekerere banja zingasiyane ndi mkazi. Ngati mwamuna akuganiza zokwatira, ayenera kudzifunsa ngati ali wokonzeka kukhala mutu wa banja. Yehova amafuna kuti mwamuna azipezera mkazi wake komanso ana ake zofunika pa moyo ndiponso aziwasonyeza chikondi. Koma chofunika kwambiri n’chakuti mwamuna ayenera kutsogolera banja lake polambira Mulungu. Baibulo limanena kuti mwamuna amene sasamalira banja lake ndi “woipa kuposa munthu wosakhulupirira.” (1 Timoteyo 5:8) Choncho ngati ndinu mwamuna ndipo mukufuna kukwatira, muyenera kuganizira mfundo ya m’Baibulo iyi: “Konzekera ntchito yako yapanja, ndipo konza munda wako. Ukatero ukamange banja lako.” M’mawu ena tinganene kuti musanakwatire, muyenera kutsimikiza kuti mungakwanitse kusamalira mkazi wanu ngati mmene Yehova amafunira.​—Miyambo 24:27.

15 Mkazi amene akuganiza zokwatiwa ayenera kutsimikizira kuti ndi wokonzeka kukwaniritsa udindo wake monga mkazi komanso mayi. Baibulo limafotokoza zinthu zosiyanasiyana zimene mkazi angachite posamalira  mwamuna wake komanso ana ake. (Miyambo 31:10-31) Masiku ano amuna ndi akazi ambiri amangoganizira zimene mnzawoyo angawachitire. Koma Yehova amafuna kuti tiziganizira zimene ifeyo tingachitire mnzathuyo.

16, 17. Ngati mukuganiza zolowa m’banja, kodi muyenera kuganizira za chiyani?

16 Musanalowe m’banja, muyenera kuganizira kwambiri zimene Yehova amafuna kuti amuna komanso akazi azichita. Kukhala mutu wa banja sikutanthauza kuti mwamuna azizunza mkazi wake. Mwamuna yemwe ndi mutu wa banja wabwino amatsanzira Yesu, amene amachita zinthu mwachikondi komanso mokoma mtima. (Aefeso 5:23) Nayenso mkazi ayenera kuganizira zimene angachite kuti azitha kuthandiza mwamuna wake komanso kugwirizana naye. (Aroma 7:2) Ayenera kudzifunsa kuti, ‘Kodi ndingakwanitse kugonjera mwamuna wanga woti si wangwiro?’ Ngati akuona kuti sangakwanitse, angachite bwino kudikira kaye.

17 Mwamuna komanso mkazi ayenera kuganizira kwambiri zinthu zimene zingathandize kuti mnzakeyo azisangalala, osati zongodzisangalatsa yekha. (Werengani Afilipi 2:4.) Paulo analemba kuti: “Aliyense wa inu akonde mkazi wake ngati mmene amadzikondera yekha, komanso mkazi azilemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wake.” (Aefeso 5:21-33) Onse amuna ndi akazi amafuna kukondedwa ndiponso kulemekezedwa. Koma kuti banja liziyenda bwino, chimene mwamuna amafuna kwambiri ndi kuona kuti mkazi wake amamulemekeza, pamene mkazi amafuna kwambiri kukondedwa ndi mwamuna wake.

18. N’chifukwa chiyani anthu amene ali pa chibwenzi ayenera kusamala?

18 Nthawi ya chibwenzi iyenera kukhala yosangalatsa kwa onse ndipo imeneyi ndi nthawi imene amadziwana bwino. Pa nthawiyi ayenera kumakambirana zinthu  zanzeru komanso kuchita zinthu moona mtima. Zimenezi zingawathandize kuona ngati ndi nzeru kusankha kuti adzakhale ndi mnzawoyo mpaka kalekale. Pa nthawi ya chibwenzi, mwamuna ndi mkazi amaphunzira njira yabwino yolankhulirana ndipo amayesetsa kudziwa zimene zili mumtima mwa mnzawoyo. M’kupita kwa nthawi, angayambe kufuna kuti azisonyezana chikondi m’njira zina. Koma ayenera kusamala kuti asachite khalidwe losayenera. Ngati amakondanadi, angayesetse kukhala odziletsa ndipo angapewe kuchita zinthu zimene zingasokoneze chibwenzi chawo komanso ubwenzi wawo ndi Yehova.​—1 Atesalonika 4:6.

Pa nthawi ya chibwenzi, mwamuna ndi mkazi amaphunzira njira yabwino yolankhulirana

 KODI NDINGATANI KUTI BANJA LANGA LIDZAKHALE LOLIMBA?

19, 20. Kodi Akhristu ayenera kuona bwanji ukwati?

19 Nkhani za m’mabuku ndi m’mafilimu ambiri zonena za anthu omwe ali pa chibwenzi, zimathera poti anthuwo achita ukwati wapamwamba komanso wosangalatsa. Koma zoona ndi zoti kupanga ukwati ndi chiyambi chabe. Yehova anakonza zoti anthu akakwatirana azikhala limodzi mpaka kalekale.​—Genesis 2:24.

20 Masiku ano anthu ambiri saona kuti okwatirana ayenera kukhala limodzi mpaka kalekale. Amaona kuti kupeza banja n’kosavuta ndipo kuthetsa banjalo n’kosavutanso. Anthu ena amaona kuti m’banja mukangoyambika mavuto, ndi bwino kungolithetsa. Koma kumbukirani zimene Baibulo limanena zokhudza chingwe chopotedwa ndi zingwe zitatu. Chingwe choterechi sichiduka msanga. Tikamadalira Yehova kuti atithandize, banja lathu limakhala lolimba. Yesu anati: “Chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.”​—Mateyu 19:6.

21. Kodi n’chiyani chingathandize kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi wake azikondana?

21 Munthu aliyense ali ndi zimene amachita bwino komanso zimene amalakwitsa. N’zosavuta kumangoganizira zimene ena amalakwitsa, makamaka akakhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu. Komabe tikamachita zimenezi, sitingakhale osangalala. Koma tikamaganizira kwambiri zimene mnzathuyo amachita bwino, banja lathu lingakhale losangalala. Kodi zimenezi n’zotheka? Inde n’zotheka. Yehova amadziwa kuti si ife angwiro koma amaona zabwino zimene timachita. Kodi mukuganiza kuti zikanakhala bwanji akanakhala kuti amangokhalira kuyang’ana zimene timalakwitsa? Munthu wina amene analemba nawo buku la Masalimo anati: “Inu Ya, mukanakhala kuti mumayang’anitsitsa  zolakwa, ndani akanaima pamaso panu, inu Yehova?” (Salimo 130:3) Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake ayenera kutsanzira Yehova pomaganizira kwambiri zabwino zimene mnzakeyo amachita komanso pokhala wokonzeka kukhululuka.​—Werengani Akolose 3:13.

22, 23. N’chifukwa chiyani tinganene kuti Abulahamu ndi Sara ndi chitsanzo chabwino kwa anthu okwatirana?

22 Zaka zikamapita, nalonso banja lingayambe kulimba  kuposa poyamba. Abulahamu ndi Sara anakhala m’banja kwa zaka zambiri ndipo banja lawo linali losangalala. Pamene Yehova ankauza Abulahamu kuti achoke kwawo ku Uri, n’kutheka kuti Sara anali ndi zaka 60. Ziyenera kuti zinali zovuta kwa iye kusiya nyumba yake yabwino n’kumakakhala m’matenti. Koma Sara anali mkazi wabwino komanso anali mnzake wapamtima wa Abulahamu ndipo ankalemekeza kwambiri mwamuna wakeyu. Choncho anagwirizana ndi zimene mwamuna wake anasankha ndipo anamuthandiza kuti zitheke.​—Genesis 18:12; 1 Petulo 3:6.

23 Koma kukhala ndi banja labwino sikutanthauza kuti mwamuna ndi mkazi amagwirizana pa chilichonse. Pa nthawi ina Abulahamu ndi Sara anasemphana maganizo pa nkhani inayake ndipo Yehova anauza Abulahamu kuti: “Mvera mawu ake.” Abulahamu anamveradi ndipo zotsatira zake zinali zabwino. (Genesis 21:9-13) Nanunso ngati simukugwirizana ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu pa nkhani inayake, musamataye mtima. Chofunika ndi choti ngakhale pamene mwasemphana maganizo, muzichitabe zinthu zosonyeza kuti mumakonda mnzanuyo komanso mumamulemekeza.

Onetsetsani kuti mukutsatira Mawu a Mulungu m’banja mwanu kuyambira pa chiyambi

24. Kodi tingatani kuti banja lathu lidzakhale lolemekeza Yehova?

24 Mumpingo wachikhristu muli mabanja ambiri osangalala. Ngati inuyo mukuganiza zokwatira kapena kukwatiwa, kumbukirani kuti kusankha munthu wokhala naye pa banja ndi chimodzi mwa zinthu zofunika kwambiri zimene muyenera kuchita. Zimene mungasankhe zidzakhudza moyo wanu wonse. Choncho muyenera kudalira Yehova kuti akuthandizeni. Mukatero mudzatha kusankha mwanzeru munthu wokwatirana naye, mudzakonzekera bwino komanso mudzakhala ndi banja labwino lomwe lidzathandize kuti Yehova azilemekezeka.