“Usangalale ndi mkazi wapaunyamata wako.”—MIYAMBO 5:18.

1, 2. Kodi tikambirana nkhani yotani, nanga n’chifukwa chiyani?

KODI muli pa banja? Ngati ndi choncho, kodi mukusangalala kwambiri ndi banja lanu, kapena mukukumana ndi mavuto aakulu a m’banja? Kodi chikondi chanu chayamba kuchepa pang’onopang’ono? Kodi mumangokhalira kupirira? Ngati zili choncho, ndiye kuti simukusangalala chifukwa chikondi chimene munali nacho poyamba chachepa. Monga Mkhristu, muyenera kuti mukufuna kuti banja lanu lizilemekeza Yehova, Mulungu amene mumam’konda. Choncho muyenera kuti muli ndi nkhawa ndipo mumadandaula kwambiri ndi mmene banja lanu likuyendera. Ngakhale zili choncho, musaganize kuti palibenso chimene mungachite kuti banja lanu liziyenda bwino.

2 Pali mabanja ambiri achikhristu amene akuyenda bwino omwe nthawi ina sankayenda bwino ngakhale pang’ono. Koma iwo anapeza njira yolimbitsira mabanja awo. Inunso mungathe kukhala wosangalala kwambiri ndi banja lanu. Kodi zimenezi zingatheke bwanji?

MUZIKONDA KWAMBIRI MULUNGU NDIPONSO MWAMUNA KAPENA MKAZI WANU

3, 4. N’chifukwa chiyani anthu okwatirana amakondana kwambiri ngati akuyesetsa kuyandikira kwa Mulungu? Perekani chitsanzo.

3 Inuyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mungathe kuyamba kukondana kwambiri ngati nonse mumakonda kwambiri Mulungu. N’chifukwa chiyani zili choncho? Taganizirani chitsanzo ichi: Tiyerekeze kuti pali phiri lalitali losongoka ngati denga la nkhokwe. Mwamuna ali m’mphepete mwenimweni kum’mawa kwa phirilo ndipo mkazi alinso m’mphepete mwa phiri lomweli kumadzulo. Onse awiri akuyamba kukwera  phirilo. Onsewa akangoyamba kumene kukwera, pakati pawo pamakhalabe mtunda wautali. Koma aliyense akamakwerabe n’kumayandikira kunsonga kwa phirilo, mtunda wa pakati pawo umayamba kuchepa. Kodi mwaona mfundo yolimbikitsa imene ili m’chitsanzochi?

4 Khama limene mumachita potumikira Yehova ndi mtima wanu wonse tingalifanizire ndi khama limene limafunika kuti munthu akwere phiri. Popeza kuti mumakonda Yehova, tinganene kuti mwayamba kale kuyesetsa kukwera phiri limeneli. Koma ngati simumagwirizana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, ndiye kuti mukukwera phiri limeneli m’mbali zosiyana ngati mmene zilili m’chitsanzochi. Kodi mukuganiza kuti chingachitike n’chiyani ngati mukupitiriza kukwera phiri limeneli? N’zoona kuti poyamba pangakhale mtunda wautali pakati panu. Komabe, mukachita khama kuyandikira kwa Mulungu, kapena kuti kukwera  phiri limeneli, m’pamene mumayandikana kwambiri ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Choncho, kuti muzikondana ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, muyenera kuyesetsa kuyandikira kwa Mulungu. Koma kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi?

Mfundo za m’Baibulo zingathe kulimbitsa banja lanu ngati muzigwiritsa ntchito

5. (a) Kodi njira imodzi imene mungayandikirire kwa Yehova ndi kwa mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu ndi iti? (b) Kodi Yehova amauona bwanji ukwati?

5 Njira imodzi yofunika kwambiri yokwerera phiri loyerekezera limeneli ndi yakuti mwamuna ndi mkazi wake azitsatira malangizo okhudza banja opezeka m’Mawu a Mulungu. (Salimo 25:4; Yesaya 48:17, 18) Choncho, taganizirani malangizo amene mtumwi Paulo anapereka. Iye anati: “Ukwati ukhale wolemekezeka kwa onse.” (Aheberi 13:4) Kodi zimenezi zikutanthauza chiyani? Mawu akuti “wolemekezeka” akutanthauza chinthu chamtengo wapatali. Ndipo umu ndi mmene Yehova amaonera ukwati, iye amauona kuti ndi wamtengo wapatali.

KUKONDA YEHOVA NDI MTIMA WONSE KUNGAKUTHANDIZENI

6. Kodi mawu amene Paulo ananena popereka malangizo okhudza ukwati akusonyeza chiyani, nanga n’chifukwa chiyani muyenera kukumbukira zimenezi?

6 Monga atumiki a Mulungu, inuyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu mumadziwa kuti ukwati ndi wolemekezeka ndiponso wopatulika. Yehova ndi amene anayambitsa ukwati. (Werengani Mateyu 19:4-6.) Koma ngati mukukumana ndi mavuto a m’banja, kungodziwa kuti ukwati ndi wolemekezeka sikungakuthandizeni kuti muzikondana ndi kulemekezana. Nanga kodi chimene chingakuthandizeni n’chiyani? Taonani zimene Paulo ananena pa nkhani yosonyeza ulemu. Iye sananene kuti “ukwati ndi wolemekezeka,” koma anati, “ukwati ukhale wolemekezeka.” Sikuti Paulo ankafotokoza zimene anaona zikuchitika, koma ankanena zimene anthu ayenera kuchita. * Kumvetsa zimenezi kungakuthandizeni kudziwa zimene mungachite kuti  muyambirenso kulemekeza kwambiri mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. N’chifukwa chiyani zili choncho?

7. (a) Kodi timamvera malamulo ati a m’Malemba, nanga n’chifukwa chiyani? (b) Kodi kumvera kumabweretsa madalitso otani?

7 Taganizirani mmene mumaonera malamulo ena a m’Malemba, monga lamulo loti tiziphunzitsa anthu kapena loti tizisonkhana pamodzi kuti tilambire Mulungu. (Mateyu 28:19; Aheberi 10:24, 25) Kunena zoona, kutsatira malamulo amenewa nthawi zina kumakhala kovuta. Mwachitsanzo, anthu amene mumawalalikira angakhale osamvetsera, kapena mumakhala otopa kwambiri ndi ntchito yanu moti zimakhala zovuta kuti mupite kumisonkhano yachikhristu. Ngakhale zili choncho, mumapitirizabe kulalikira uthenga wa Ufumu ndi kupezeka pamisonkhano yachikhristu nthawi zonse. Ndipo palibe amene angakuletseni kuchita zimenezi, ngakhale Satana weniweniyo. N’chifukwa chiyani? Chifukwa mumakonda Yehova kuchokera pansi pa mtima ndipo zimenezi zimakuchititsani kumvera malamulo ake. (1 Yohane 5:3) Kodi mumapeza madalitso otani mukamachita zimenezi? Kugwira ntchito yolalikira ndi kupezeka pamisonkhano kumakupatsani mtendere wamumtima ndipo mumakhala osangalala kwambiri podziwa kuti mukuchita chifuniro cha Mulungu. Ndipo zimenezi zimakuwonjezerani mphamvu. (Nehemiya 8:10) Kodi tikuphunzirapo chiyani pamenepa?

8, 9. (a) Kodi n’chiyani chimene chingatilimbikitse kumvera lamulo loti tizilemekeza ukwati, nanga n’chifukwa chiyani? (b) Kodi tsopano tikambirana mfundo ziwiri ziti?

8 Monga taonera, kukonda kwambiri Mulungu kumakupangitsani kumvera malamulo ake onena za kulalikira ndi kusonkhana ngakhale mutakumana ndi mavuto. Kukonda Yehova kungakupangitseninso kumvera lamulo la m’Malemba lakuti, “ukwati [wanu] ukhale wolemekezeka,” ngakhale zimenezi zitaoneka kuti ndi zovuta. (Aheberi 13:4; Salimo 18:29; Mlaliki 5:4) Kuwonjezera pamenepa, mofanana ndi mmene Yehova amakudalitsirani mukamalalikira komanso kupezeka pamisonkhano, adzakudalitsaninso mukamayesetsa kulemekeza ukwati wanu. 1 Atesalonika 1:3; Aheberi 6:10.

 9 Kodi mungatani kuti ukwati wanu ukhale wolemekezeka? Muyenera kupewa makhalidwe amene angawononge ukwati wanu. Komanso, muyenera kuchita zinthu zimene zingalimbitse ukwati wanu.

PEWANI KALANKHULIDWE NDI MAKHALIDWE OSALEMEKEZA UKWATI

10, 11. (a) Kodi ndi makhalidwe ati amene salemekeza ukwati? (b) Kodi tiyenera kufunsa mwamuna kapena mkazi wathu funso liti?

10 Mkazi wina wachikhristu anati: “Ndimam’pempha Yehova kuti andipatse mphamvu kuti ndithe kupirira.” Kupirira chiyani? Iye anafotokoza kuti: “Mwamuna wanga sandilankhula bwino. Simungaone kuti ndili ndi mabala, koma mtima wanga uli ndi mabala obwera chifukwa cha mawu okhadzula a mwamuna wanga. Iye amakonda kunena kuti, ‘Umandisowetsa mtendere,’ kapena, ‘Ndilibe nawe ntchito.’” Mkazi ameneyu watchula vuto limene lakula kwambiri m’mabanja. Vutoli ndi kulankhulana mwachipongwe.

11 Zimakhala zomvetsa chisoni mwamuna ndi mkazi wachikhristu akamalankhulana mawu opweteka omwe amasiya mabala ovuta kupola m’maganizo. Kunena zoona, banja limene limadziwika ndi kulankhulana mokhadzula si lolemekezeka. Kodi inuyo m’banja lanu mumalankhulana bwanji? Njira imodzi imene mungadziwire zimenezi ndi kufunsa mwaulemu mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu kuti, “Kodi mumaona kuti ineyo ndimakulankhulani bwanji?” Ngati mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu wanena kuti nthawi zambiri mawu anu amam’pweteketsa mtima, yesetsani kusintha.—Agalatiya 5:15; werengani Aefeso 4:31.

12. Kodi zingatheke bwanji kuti kulambira kwathu kukhale kopanda pake pamaso pa Mulungu?

12 Dziwani kuti mmene mumalankhulira m’banja mwanu zimakhudza ubwenzi wanu ndi Yehova. Baibulo limati: “Ngati munthu akudziona ngati wopembedza, koma salamulira lilime lake, ndipo akupitiriza kunyenga mtima wake, kupembedza kwa munthu ameneyu n’kopanda pake.” (Yakobo 1:26) Choncho, zimene mumalankhula zimakhudza kwambiri  kulambira kwanu. Baibulo siligwirizana ndi maganizo oti zimene munthu amachita panyumba zilibe ntchito kwenikweni bola ngati munthuyo amatumikira Mulungu. Musamadzinamize, imeneyi ndi nkhani yaikulu. (Werengani 1 Petulo 3:7.) Ngakhale mutakhala aluso kapena akhama pochita zinthu zauzimu koma ngati mumalankhula dala mawu opweteketsa mtima mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, ndiye kuti simukulemekeza ukwati ndipo Mulungu angaone kuti kulambira kwanu n’kopanda pake.

13. Kodi anthu apabanja angakhumudwitse bwanji mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo?

13 Anthu okwatirana ayeneranso kukhala osamala kuti asachite zinthu zimene zingaoneke ngati zazing’ono koma zimene zingakhumudwitse mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo. Taganizirani zitsanzo ziwiri izi: Mayi amene sali pabanja amakonda kuimbira foni mwamuna wachikhristu wokwatira kumufunsa nzeru, ndipo amakambirana kwa nthawi yaitali. M’bale wosakwatira amathera nthawi yambiri mlungu uliwonse akulalikira ndi mlongo wokwatiwa. Zitha kukhala zoona kuti anthu amene ali pabanja m’zitsanzo ziwirizi ali ndi zifukwa zabwino zochitira zimenezi, koma kodi mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo angamve bwanji ndi zimenezo? Mkazi wina amene anakumanapo ndi zimenezi anati: “Zimandipweteka kwambiri kuona kuti mwamuna wanga amatha nthawi yaitali akuthandiza mlongo wina wa mumpingo mwathu. Zimenezi zimandipangitsa kudziona ngati wosafunika.”

14. (a) Kodi lemba la Genesis 2:24 likusonyeza kuti udindo waukulu wa okwatirana ndi uti? (b) Kodi tiyenera kudzifunsa funso lotani?

14 N’zomveka kuti mkazi ameneyu ndi ena amene amakumananso ndi mavuto ngati amenewa amapwetekedwa mtima. Amuna kapena akazi awowo amaiwala malangizo a Mulungu ofunika kwambiri okhudza ukwati akuti: ‘Mwamuna adzasiya bambo ake ndi mayi ake, n’kudziphatika kwa mkazi wake.’ (Genesis 2:24) N’zoona kuti anthu amene alowa m’banja amalemekezabe makolo awo, komabe Mulungu amafuna kuti udindo wawo waukulu ukhale kusamalira mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo. Akhristu amakondanso kwambiri okhulupirira anzawo, komabe udindo wawo waukulu ndi kukonda mkazi kapena mwamuna wawo. Choncho, ngati Akhristu apabanja amakhala  nthawi yambiri kapena amazolowerana kwambiri ndi Akhristu ena, makamaka amene si mkazi kapena mwamuna mnzawo, amabweretsa mavuto ambiri m’banja mwawo. Kodi mwina zimenezi n’zimene zikubweretsa mavuto m’banja mwanu? Dzifunseni kuti, ‘Kodi ndimapeza nthawi yokwanira yocheza ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga, kumusamalira ndi kumusonyeza chikondi chimene amafunikira?’

15. Malinga ndi lemba la Mateyu 5:28, n’chifukwa chiyani Akhristu ayenera kupewa kutha nthawi yambiri ndi munthu amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi mnzawo?

 15 Komanso, Akhristu apabanja amene amatha nthawi yambiri ali ndi ena omwe si amuna kapena akazi anzawo, amadziika dala pangozi. N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti Akhristu ena apabanja ayamba kukondana ndi ena omwe si amuna kapena akazi awo chifukwa chozolowerana kwambiri. (Mateyu 5:28) Zimenezi zapangitsa ena kuchita makhalidwe osalemekeza ukwati ngakhale pang’ono. Taganizirani zimene Paulo ananena pa nkhani imeneyi.

“POGONA PA ANTHU OKWATIRANA PAKHALE POSAIPITSIDWA”

16. Kodi Paulo anapereka lamulo lotani lokhudza ukwati?

16 Paulo atangopereka malangizo akuti, “ukwati ukhale wolemekezeka,” anawonjezera chenjezo lakuti: “Pogona pa anthu okwatirana pakhale posaipitsidwa, pakuti Mulungu adzaweruza adama ndi achigololo.” (Aheberi 13:4) Ponena kuti “pogona pa anthu okwatirana,” Paulo ankatanthauza kugonana. Kugonana kumakhala ‘kosaipitsidwa’ ngati anthuwo ali okwatirana. Choncho, Akhristu amatsatira mawu ouziridwa akuti: “Usangalale ndi mkazi wapaunyamata wako.”—Miyambo 5:18.

17. (a) N’chifukwa chiyani Akhristu sayenera kutengera maganizo a dzikoli pa nkhani ya chigololo? (b) Kodi tingatsanzire bwanji chitsanzo cha Yobu?

17 Anthu amene amagonana ndi wina amene si mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo, amasonyeza kuti salemekeza ngakhale pang’ono malamulo a Mulungu onena za makhalidwe abwino. Koma anthu ambiri masiku ano amaona kuti palibe vuto kuchita chigololo. Komabe, kaya anthu ena amaiona bwanji nkhani imeneyi, Akhristu sayenera kutengera maganizo amenewa. Iwo amadziwa kuti “Mulungu [ndi amene] adzaweruza adama ndi achigololo,” osati anthu. (Aheberi 10:31; 12:29) Choncho, Akhristu oona amatsatira maganizo a Yehova pa nkhani imeneyi. (Werengani Aroma 12:9.) Kumbukirani kuti Yobu anati: “Ndachita pangano ndi maso anga.” (Yobu 31:1) Pofuna kupeweratu chilichonse chimene chingawapangitse kuchita chigololo, Akhristu oona amateteza  maso awo ndipo sayesa kuyang’ana mosirira munthu amene si mkazi kapena mwamuna wawo.—Onani Zakumapeto, “Zimene Baibulo Limanena pa Nkhani Yothetsa Banja ndi Kupatukana.”

18. (a) Kodi Yehova amaona kuti tchimo la chigololo ndi lalikulu bwanji? (b) Kodi kuchita chigololo ndi kulambira mafano ndi kofanana bwanji?

18 Kodi Yehova amaona kuti chigololo ndi tchimo lalikulu bwanji? Chilamulo cha Mose chimatithandiza kumvetsa mmene Yehova amaionera nkhaniyi. Kale ku Isiraeli, kuchita chigololo ndi kulambira mafano anali ena mwa machimo amene chilango chake chinali kuphedwa. (Levitiko 20:2, 10) Kodi mukuona kufanana kwa chigololo ndi kulambira mafano? Nthawi imeneyo, munthu akalambira fano ankakhala kuti waswa pangano lake ndi Yehova. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, munthu akachita chigololo ndiye kuti waswa pangano ndi mkazi kapena mwamuna wake. Anthu awiriwo, wolambira fano ndi wochita chigololo, ankakhala kuti achita zinthu mosakhulupirika. (Ekisodo 19:5, 6; Deuteronomo 5:9; werengani Malaki 2:14.) Choncho, Yehova yemwe ndi Mulungu wokhulupirika ndi wodalirika, ankadana ndi anthu otere.—Salimo 33:4.

19. Kodi n’chiyani chingamuthandize munthu kupeweratu chigololo, nanga n’chifukwa chiyani?

19 N’zoona kuti Akhristu satsatira Chilamulo cha Mose. Koma kudziwa kuti kale ku Isiraeli kuchita chigololo kunali tchimo lalikulu kungathandize Akhristu kutsimikiza kupewa khalidwe limeneli. N’chifukwa chiyani tikutero? Taganizirani izi: Kodi mungayerekeze kulowa m’tchalitchi, kugwada n’kuyamba kupemphera kutsogolo kwa fano? Mwina munganene kuti, ‘Sindingachite zimenezo.’ Nanga kodi mungachite zimenezi mutauzidwa kuti mupatsidwa ndalama zambiri? Mwina munganenenso kuti, ‘Sindingayerekeze ngakhale pang’ono.’ N’zoona, Mkhristu woona safuna ngakhale pang’ono kuganiza zolambira mafano chifukwa zingakhumudwitse Yehova. Mofanana ndi zimenezi, Akhristu ayenera kupeweratu kukhumudwitsa Mulungu wawo, Yehova, komanso mwamuna kapena mkazi wawo, popewa kuchita chigololo. Ayenera kuchita zimenezi ngakhale atayesedwa bwanji. (Salimo 51:1, 4; Akolose 3:5) Sitikufuna kuchita zinthu zimene  zingakondweretse Satana ndi kunyozetsa Yehova amene anayambitsa ukwati.

KODI MUNGATANI KUTI MULIMBITSE UKWATI WANU?

20. Kodi mabanja ena ali ndi vuto lotani? Perekani chitsanzo.

20 Kuwonjezera pa kupewa kuchita zinthu zosalemekeza ukwati, kodi mungachite chiyani kuti muyambirenso kulemekeza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu? Kuti muyankhe funso limeneli, yerekezerani kuti ukwati ndi nyumba. Ndiyeno, mawu abwino, makhalidwe osonyeza kuganizirana, ndiponso zinthu zina zosonyeza kulemekeza ukwati zimene okwatirana amachitirana, zili ngati zinthu zokongoletsa nyumbayo. Ngati mumakondana kwambiri, banja lanu lingafanane ndi nyumba imene ili ndi zinthu zabwino ndi zokongola. Koma ngati chikondi chanu chayamba kuchepa, ndiye kuti zinthu zokongolazi zayamba kutha ndipo zikuchititsa kuti banja lanu likhale ngati nyumba yosasiririka chifukwa ilibe zokongoletsera. Popeza kuti mumafuna kumvera lamulo la Mulungu lakuti “ukwati ukhale wolemekezeka,” mudzayesetsa kukonza zinthu. Ndipotu, chinthu chamtengo wapatali ndi cholemekezeka, chimafunika kuchikonza. Kodi mungachite bwanji zimenezi? Mawu a Mulungu amati: “Nzeru zimamanga banja la munthu, ndipo kuzindikira kumachititsa kuti lilimbe kwambiri. Kudziwa zinthu kumachititsa kuti zipinda zamkati mwa nyumba zidzaze ndi zinthu zonse zamtengo wapatali ndiponso zosangalatsa.” (Miyambo 24:3, 4) Kodi mungatsatire bwanji malangizo amenewa mu ukwati wanu?

21. Kodi tingachite chiyani kuti banja liyambenso kuyenda bwino? (Onaninso bokosi “ Kodi Ndingatani Kuti Banja Langa Liziyenda Bwino?”)

21 Zina mwa zinthu zamtengo wapatali zimene zimadzaza nyumba yabwino ndi makhalidwe monga chikondi chenicheni, kuopa Mulungu, ndiponso chikhulupiriro cholimba. (Miyambo 15:16, 17; 1 Petulo 1:7) Zimenezi zimalimbitsa banja. M’lemba la Miyambo lomwe taligwira mawuli, kodi mwaona chimene chimachititsa kuti zipinda zidzaze ndi zinthu zamtengo  wapatali? Ndi “kudziwa” zinthu. Inde, munthu akamagwiritsa ntchito zinthu zimene wadziwa kuchokera m’Baibulo, zingathe kusintha kaganizidwe kake ndi kumulimbikitsa kuyambiranso kukonda mwamuna kapena mkazi wake mmene ankachitira poyamba. (Aroma 12:2; Afilipi 1:9) Choncho, inuyo ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu muzipeza nthawi yolankhulana ndi kukambirana mofatsa mfundo za m’Baibulo, monga za m’lemba la tsiku, kapena nkhani zokhudza banja zopezeka mu Nsanja ya Olonda kapenanso mu Galamukani! Mukamachita zimenezi ndiye kuti mukukonza chinthu chamtengo wapatali chokongoletsera nyumba yanu. Ngati kukonda Yehova kukukulimbikitsani kugwiritsa ntchito malangizo amene mwaphunzira m’Baibulo m’banja mwanu, ndiye kuti mukulowetsa ‘m’chipinda’ cha nyumba yanu chinthu chokongoletsera nyumba chimene mwakonza chija. Pamapeto pake, mudzayambiranso kukondana ngati mmene munkachitira poyamba.

22. Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani tingakhale osangalala ngati tikuyesetsa kuchita mbali yathu pofuna kulimbitsa ukwati wathu?

22 N’zoona kuti zingatenge nthawi yaitali ndipo zingafune khama kuti mubwezeretse chokongoletsera chilichonse m’malo mwake. Koma ngati mukuyesetsa kuchita mbali yanu, mudzakhala osangalala kwambiri podziwa kuti mukumvera lamulo la m’Baibulo lakuti: “Posonyezana ulemu, khalani patsogolo.” (Aroma 12:10; Salimo 147:11). Chinthu chofunika kwambiri kukumbukira n’choti mukamachita khama kulemekeza ukwati wanu, zidzathandiza kuti Mulungu apitirize kukukondani.

^ ndime 6 Mavesi ena amene ayandikana ndi vesi 4 pamene pali malangizo a Paulo okhudza ukwati, akusonyeza kuti mawu a m’vesili ndi opempha anthu kuchita zinazake.—Aheberi 13:1-5.