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 Chinsinsi cha Banja Losangalala

Muzikambirana ndi Ana Anu Nkhani Zokhudza Kugonana

Muzikambirana ndi Ana Anu Nkhani Zokhudza Kugonana

Mtsikana wina wazaka 17, dzina lake Alicia, * ananena kuti: “Nthawi zina ndimafuna nditadziwa zinazake zokhudza kugonana, koma ndimaona kuti ndikafunsa makolo anga nkhani zimenezi, aganiza kuti ndayamba khalidwe loipa.”

Mayi ake a Alicia, dzina lawo Inezi, anati: “Ndimafuna nditamakhala pansi ndi mwana wanga n’kukambirana naye nkhani zokhudza kugonana. Koma iye amakhala wotanganidwa kwambiri ndi zake basi moti sakhala ndi nthawi yoti tikambirane.” *

MASIKU ano nkhani zokhudza kugonana zili ponseponse. Zikupezeka pa TV, m’mafilimu komanso m’mauthenga otsatsa malonda. Zikuoneka kuti makolo ndi ana awo, ndi anthu okhawo amene amapewa kulankhula za nkhani imeneyi. Mnyamata wina wa zaka 16 wa ku Canada ananena kuti: “Ndikulakalaka makolo akanati azidziwa kuti kukamba nawo nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndi kovuta kwambiri ndiponso n’kochititsa manyazi. Koma ndi zosavuta kulamba nkhani imeneyi ndi mnzanga.”

Nthawi zambiri, makolo nawonso amamangika kuyambitsa nkhani zimenezi. Mphunzitsi wina wa zaumoyo, dzina lake Debra W. Haffner, analemba m’buku lake kuti: “Makolo ambiri anandiuza kuti anagulirapo mwana wawo, wosakwanitsa zaka 13, buku lonena za kugonana kapena kutha msinkhu, n’kungoliika kuchipinda kwa mwanayo osalankhula chilichonse.” (Beyond the Big Talk) Mphunzitsiyu anena kuti makolo akachita zimenezi amakhala akuuza mwanayo kuti: “Tikufuna kuti udziwe nkhani za kugonana komanso mmene thupi lako lilili koma sitikufuna kuti tikambirane nawe nkhani zimenezi.”

Ngati ndinu kholo, simufunika kukhala ndi maganizo amenewa. Ndi zofunika kwambiri kuti inuyo monga kholo muzikambirana ndi ana anu nkhani zokhudza kugonana. Muyenera kuchita zimenezi pa zifukwa zitatu izi:

  1. Anthu m’dzikoli sakuonanso nkhani za kugonana ngati mmene ankazionera poyamba. Mnyamata wina wazaka 20, dzina lake James, ananena kuti: “Masiku ano anthu akamanena za kugonana, samangotanthauza kugonana kumene mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amachita. Koma amakhalanso akunena za kugonana m’kamwa, kugonana kumatako kapenanso kutumizirana mauthenga ogonana kudzera pa Intaneti ndi pa foni za m’manja.”

  2. Ana anu akhoza kuuzidwa zinthu zabodza zokhudza nkhaniyi adakali aang’ono. Mayi wina dzina lake Sheila ananena kuti: “Ana akhoza kumva nkhani zokhudza kugonana akangoyamba sukulu, ndipo zikatere nkhaniyi sangamaionenso mogwirizana ndi mmene inuyo mukufunira.”

  3.   Ana anu amakhala ndi mafunso pa nkhani imeneyi koma mwina sangaiyambitse. Mtsikana wina wazaka 15 wa ku Brazil, dzina lake Ana, ananena kuti: “Kunena zoona, sindidziwa kuti ndingayambe bwanji kukambirana ndi makolo anga nkhani zokhudza kugonana.”

Makolo dziwani kuti kukambirana ndi ana anu nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndi umodzi mwa udindo umene Mulungu anakupatsani. (Aefeso 6:4) N’zoona kuti kuchita zimenezi kungakhale kochititsa manyazi kwa inuyo ndiponso kwa anawo. Komabe achinyamata ambiri amagwirizana ndi zimene mtsikana wina wa zaka 14 dzina lake Danielle ananena. Iye anati: “Timafuna kudziwa zinthu zokhudza kugonana kuchokera kwa makolo athu, osati kwa mphunzitsi wina wake kapena pa TV.” Ndiyeno kodi mungakambirane bwanji ndi ana anu nkhani yofunika imeneyi, ngakhale kuti ndi yochititsa manyazi?

Muziwaphunzitsa Mogwirizana ndi Msinkhu Wawo

Popeza nthawi zambiri kulikonse kumene kumakhala ana kumakhalanso anthu ena, ana amayamba kumva nkhani zokhudza kugonana ali aang’ono. Choopsanso kwambiri n’chakuti, ‘m’masiku otsiriza’ ano, anthu oipa ‘akuipiraipirabe.’ (2 Timoteyo 3:1, 13) Ndi zomvetsa chisoni kwambiri kuti ana ambiri amachitiridwa nkhanza zosiyanasiyana ndi anthu achikulire pa nkhani za kugonana.

Choncho n’zofunika kwambiri kuti makolonu muziyamba kuphunzitsa ana anu kuyambira ali aang’ono. Mayi wina wa ku Germany dzina lake Renate ananena kuti: “Mukadikira kuti akule mpaka kutsala pang’ono kukwanitsa zaka 13, sadzakambirana nanu nkhaniyi momasuka chifukwa cha manyazi amene mwana amakhala nawo akakhala wachinyamata.” Choncho, chinsinsi chagona pa kuuza ana anu nkhani za kugonana mogwirizana ndi msinkhu wawo.

Ana amene sanayambe sukulu:

Aphunzitseni mayina oyenera a ziwalo zawo zobisika ndipo auzeni momveka bwino kuti asamalole kuti wina aliyense awagwire ziwalo zimenezo. Mayi wina wa ku Mexico, dzina lake Julia, ananena kuti: “Ndinayamba kuphunzitsa mwana wanga wamwamuna nkhani zimenezi ali ndi zaka zitatu. Ndinkadziwa kuti aziphunzitsi, anthu olera ana ndiponso ana ena okulirapo akhoza kumuchitira zinthu zoipa ndipo zimenezi zinkandidetsa nkhawa kwambiri. Mwana wangayu ankafunika kudziwa zimene angachite kuti adziteteze.”

TAYESANI IZI: Phunzitsani mwana wanu mmene angakanire mwamphamvu ngati munthu aliyense akufuna kumugwira ziwalo zake zobisika. Mwachitsanzo, mungamuphunzitse kuti azinena kuti: “Osandigwira! Ndikakunenerani!” Mutsimikizireni mwana wanu kuti nthawi zonse ndi bwino kumunenera munthu amene akufuna kuchita zimenezi ngakhale munthuyo atamulonjeza kuti amupatsa mphatso kapena atamuopseza kuti asaulule. *

Ana a ku pulayimale:

Gwiritsani ntchito zaka zimene mwana wanu ali ku pulayimale kumuphunzitsa zinthu pang’onopang’ono. Bambo wina dzina lake Peter, ananena kuti: “Musanayambe kukambirana ndi ana anu nkhani inayake, onani kaye zimene akudziwa kale kuti mudziwe ngati pakufunika kuwauza zina zowonjezera. Musawakakamize ngati sakufuna kukambirana nanu. Ngati mumakonda kucheza ndi ana anu, nthawi ina mpata udzapezeka wokambirana nawo nkhani imeneyi mosavuta.”

TAYESANI IZI: Muzikambirana ndi ana anu kawirikawiri koma mwachidule. (Deuteronomo 6:6-9) Kuchita zimenezi kudzathandiza kuti ana asatope ndi zimene mukuwauzazo. Komanso akamakula, adzadziwa zina ndi zina mogwirizana ndi msinkhu wawo.

Achinyamata:

Nthawi imeneyi ndi yoonetsetsa kuti mwana wanu wadziwa mmene nkhani zokhudza kugonana zimakhudzira thupi lake, maganizo ake komanso khalidwe lake. Mtsikana wina wazaka 15, dzina lake Ana, ananena kuti: “Anyamata ndi atsikana a kusukulu kwathu anayamba kale khalidwe logonana ndi aliyense amene akufuna. Ndikuona kuti ineyo monga Mkhristu, ndiyenera kudziwa zoona pa nkhani imeneyi. Ngakhale kuti nkhani zokhudza kugonana n’zochititsa manyazi, ndiyenerabe kuzidziwa.” *

Chenjezo: Achinyamata angalephere kufunsa mafunso chifukwa choopa kuti makolo awo awakayikira. Zimenezi ndi zimene bambo wina dzina lake Steven anazindikira. Iye anati: “Mwana wathu  wamwamuna sankafuna kukambirana nafe nkhani zokhudza kugonana. Koma kenako tinazindikira kuti iye ankaganiza kuti tikumukayikira. Tinamutsimikizira kuti sikuti tinkakambirana naye nkhani zimenezi chifukwa chomukayikira, koma tinkangofuna kumuthandiza kumvetsa nkhaniyi kuti adzathe kudziteteza.”

TAYESANI IZI: M’malo mofunsa mwana wanu wachinyamata zimene iyeyo amadziwa zokhudza kugonana, mufunseni kuti akufotokozereni zimene anzake a m’kalasi amanena pa nkhani imeneyi. Mwachitsanzo mungamufunse kuti: “Anthu ambiri masiku ano amaganiza kuti kugonana m’kamwa sikugonana kwenikweni. Kodi anzako kusukulu kwanu amaganizanso choncho?” Mafunso ngati amenewa, angathandize kuti mwana wanu wachinyamata amasuke n’kufotokoza maganizo ake.

Zimene Zingakuthandizeni Kuti Musamachite Manyazi

Kunena zoona kulankhula ndi ana anu nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndi imodzi mwa ntchito zovuta kwambiri kwa inu monga kholo. Koma muyenera kuchita khama kuti mukwanitse kuchita zimenezi chifukwa ndi zothandiza kwambiri. Mayi wina dzina lake Diane, ananena kuti: “Kholo likamakambirana ndi mwana wake nkhani zokhudza kugonana, pang’onopang’ono manyazi amachepa ndipo kholo ndi mwanayo amayamba kugwirizana kwambiri.” Steven amene tamutchula kumayambiriro uja akugwirizana ndi maganizo amenewa. Iye anati: “Ngati makolo amakonda kukambirana momasuka nkhani zilizonse zokhudza banjalo, sizimavutanso kukambirana ndi mwana nkhani zokhudza kugonana. Ndi zoona kuti manyazi satheratu, koma kulankhulana momasuka kumathandiza kuti banja lachikhristu likhale logwirizana kwambiri.”

^ ndime 3 Tasintha mayina ena m’nkhani ino.

^ ndime 4 Nkhani ino ikufotokoza kufunika kokambirana ndi ana anu nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndi cholinga chowateteza kuti wina asawaphunzitse zinthu zoipa pa nkhani imeneyi. Magazini ina m’tsogolo muno idzafotokoza mmene makolo angaperekere malangizo abwino pokambirana ndi ana awo za kugonana.

^ ndime 16 Mfundo zimenezi zachokera patsamba 171, m’buku lakuti Phunzirani kwa Mphunzitsi Waluso, lofalitsidwa ndi Mboni za Yehova.

^ ndime 19 Pokambirana ndi ana anu achinyamata zokhudza kugonana, gwiritsani ntchito mitu 1-5, 28, 29 ndi 33 ya m’buku lakuti, Mayankho a Zimene Achinyamata Amafunsa, Buku Lachiwiri. Bukuli ndi lofalitsidwa ndi Mboni za Yehova.

KODI MUNGAYANKHE BWANJI?

Werengani mawu otsatirawa amene ananena ndi achinyamata osiyanasiyana padziko lonse, ndiyeno ganizirani mmene mungayankhire mafunso amene ali m’munsi mwakewo.

“Makolo anga amandiuza kuti ndiwerenge nkhani zokhudza kugonana ndipo kenako ndiwafunse ngati ndingakhale ndi funso lililonse. Koma ndikanakonda akanati azindiuza zambiri zokhudza nkhani zimenezi.”​—Ana, Brazil.

Kodi mukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani ndi zofunika kuti inuyo muzikambirana ndi ana anu nkhani zokhudza kugonana, m’malo mongowauza kuti awerenge okha m’mabuku?

“Pali zinthu zambiri zolakwika zokhudza kugonana zimene ndimazidziwa. Ndikuganiza kuti bambo anga sazidziwa zimenezi. Iwo angadabwe kwambiri nditawafunsa zimenezi.”​—Ken, Canada.

Kodi n’chifukwa chiyani mwana wanu angachite mantha kukufunsani zimene amafunitsitsa atadziwa?

“Nthawi ina ndinalimba mtima n’kuwafunsa makolo anga nkhani zokhudza kugonana, koma zimene anandiyankhazo, anangokhala ngati akundiimba mlandu. Anandifunsa kuti, ‘Funso limeneli labwera bwanji? Pali chimene chachitika kapena?’”​—Masami, Japan.

Mwana wanu akakufunsani nkhani zokhudza kugonana, n’chifukwa chiyani mmene mwayankhira zingachititse kuti mwanayo adzakufunseninso zinthu zina pa nkhaniyi kapena asadzakufunseninso?

“Zikanakhala zothandiza makolo anga akanati azindiuza kuti, pa nthawi imene anali ngati ineyo nawonso ankafunsa mafunso ngati amene ineyo ndimafunsa ndipo palibe vuto nanenso ndikamafunsa mafunso oterowo.”​—Lisette, France.

Kodi mungatani kuti mwana wanu azikhala womasuka kukambirana nanu nkhani zokhudza kugonana?

“Mayi anga ankakonda kundifunsa mafunso okhudza kugonana koma ankandifunsa bwinobwino, osati mokalipa. Ndimaona kuti zimenezi ndi zofunika chifukwa zimathandiza kuti pokambiranapo mwana asaone ngati akuzengedwa mlandu.”​—Gerald, France.

Mukamalankhula ndi mwana wanu nkhani zokhudza kugonana, kodi mawu anu amamveka bwanji? Kodi mungafunike kusintha mmene mumalankhulira?