Pitani ku nkhani yake

Pitani ku mitu ya nkhani

 Chinsinsi cha Banja Losangalala

Kulangiza Ana

Kulangiza Ana

John: * Makolo anga asanandilange pa zimene ndalakwa, ankayesetsa kudziwa chifukwa chake ndachita zimenezo komanso mmene zinakhalira. Inenso ndimayesetsa kutsanzira chitsanzo chawo polera ana anga. Koma mkazi wanga, Alison, analeredwa mosiyana ndi ine. Makolo ake anali opupuluma ndipo zikuoneka kuti ankangolanga ana awo popanda kufufuza kuti zinakhala bwanji. Nthawi zina ndimaona kuti nayenso amalanga ana athu mwankhanza.

Carol: Bambo anasiyana ndi mayi anga ndili ndi zaka 5 zokha. Ndipo anafe sankatisamalira. Amayi ankagwira ntchito zolimba kuti athe kusamalira ine ndi azing’ono anga atatu. Ndipo ine ndinali ndi udindo woyang’anira azing’ono angawo. Sindinadyerere ubwana wanga popeza ndinkagwira ntchito zimene makolo amachita. Mpaka pano, sindikonda kucheza. Ngati ana anga akufunika kuwalangiza, ndimaganizira kwambiri zimene alakwitsazo. Ndimafuna kudziwa chifukwa chake anachita zimenezo ndiponso kuti zinakhala bwanji. Koma mwamuna wanga, Mark, savutika nazo maganizo kwambiri. Iye analeredwa ndi bambo wachikondi koma wosalekerera ana, amene ankasamalira bwino amayi ake. Polera ana athu, mwamuna wanga sachedwa kuthetsa nkhani. Iye amazindikira msanga chimene anawo alakwitsa, n’kuwalangiza, akatero zimathera pomwepo.

MALINGA ndi zimene ananena John ndi Carol, mmene makolo anu anakulererani zingakhudze kwambiri mmene mumalangizira ana anu. Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi analeredwa mosiyana, mosakayikira amasiyana maganizo kwambiri pankhani yolangiza ana. Ndipo nthawi zina kusiyana maganizo kumeneku kumabweretsa mavuto m’banja.

Nthawi zina mavutowa amakula chifukwa chotopa. Makolo amene akulera mwana wawo woyamba angaone kuti kulera mwana ndi ntchito yotopetsa komanso yofuna nthawi yambiri. Joan ndi mwamuna wake, Darren, ali ndi ana awiri. Ndipo Joan anati: “Ndimawakonda kwambiri ana anga, koma nthawi zambiri safuna kukagona nthawi imene ndinawauza. Iwo amadzuka usiku m’malo moti azigona. Komanso amandidula mawu ndikamalankhula. Iwo  amasiya nsapato, zovala, ndiponso zidole paliponse komanso sachotsa mbale akatha kudya.”

Mkazi wa Jack, atabereka mwana wachiwiri anadwala matenda a maganizo amene azimayi ena amadwala akabereka. Ndipo Jack anati: “Nthawi zambiri ndinkaweruka kuntchito nditatopa ndipo usiku mwana wathu wakhanda amandichezeretsa. Zimenezi zinkapangitsa kuti zikhale zovuta kulangiza mokhazikika mwana wathu wamkulu. Iye sankasangalala poona kuti nthawi imene tinkathera ndi iye tayamba kuithera ndi mng’ono wake.”

Ngati makolo amene atopa sagwirizana pankhani yolangiza ana, nkhani ing’onong’ono imakhala yaikulu kwambiri. Ngati nkhaniyo siitha ingapangitse makolowo kusagwirizana ndipo zingapereke mpata woti mwanayo azipeza kodzera akafuna chinachake. Kodi ndi mfundo za m’Baibulo ziti zimene zingathandize banja kukhalabe logwirizana pamene likulera ana awo?

Muzikhala Ndi Nthawi Yocheza ndi Mwamuna Kapena Mkazi Wanu

Mulungu anakonza zoti anthu azikhala pabanja asanayambe kubereka ana, ndiponso kuti banjalo lizikhalapobe ngakhale anawo atachoka pakhomopo. Pankhani ya banja, Baibulo limati: “Chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.” (Mateyo 19:6) Komabe, chaputala chomwechi chimasonyeza kuti Mulungu anakonza zoti mwana akakula ‘azisiya atate wake ndi amayi wake.’ (Mateyo 19:5) Ndithudi, banja silidalira pa kulera ana. Makolo ayenera kukhala ndi nthawi yambiri yolangiza ana, komanso ndibwino kukumbukira kuti makolowo afunika kugwirizana kuti zimenezi zitheke.

Kodi n’chiyani chingathandize anthu okwatirana kukhala ogwirizana panthawi imene ali ndi ana? Ngati n’kotheka, muzikhala ndi nthawi yongocheza ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu basi, popanda ana. Kuchita zimenezi kudzakuthandizani kuti mucheze ndiponso mukambirane nkhani zofunika zokhudza banja lanu. Kunena zoona, n’kovuta kupeza nthawi yongocheza ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu. Alison, mayi amene tamutchula koyambirira kuja, anati, “Pamene zikuoneka kuti ndi nthawi yoti ine ndi mwamuna wanga ticheze, mwana wathu wamg’ono amafuna kuti timusamalire kapena mwana wathu wa zaka 6 amakhala ali ndi vuto linalake, monga kusowetsa chekeni.”

Joan ndi Darren, amene tawatchulanso koyambirira kuja, ankapeza nthawi yocheza poika nthawi yoti ana awo azigona. Joan anati: “Ana athu ankafunika kugona ndiponso kuthimitsa magetsi panthawi imene tinawauza. Zimenezi zinkathandiza kuti ine ndi mwamuna wanga tikhale ndi nthawi yopuma komanso yokambirana zina ndi zina.”

Kuwaikira ana nthawi yeniyeni yogonera, kumathandiza mwamuna ndi mkazi wake kupeza nthawi yocheza komanso kumathandiza anawo ‘kusadziganizira koposa mmene ayenera kudziganizira.’ (Aroma 12:3) Ndipo ana amene aphunzitsidwa kukhala ndi nthawi yogonera amazindikira kuti si okhawo amene ali ofunika m’banjamo. Amaphunziranso kuti ayenera kutsatira malamulo a banjalo osati kuti banjalo lizitsatira zofuna zawo.

TAYESANI IZI: Aikireni ana anu nthawi yogonera ndipo onetsetsani kuti akuitsatira nthawi zonse. Ngati mwana wanu sakufuna kukagona pachifukwa china, monga kumwa madzi, mungamulore ulendo umodzi wokha basi. Koma musalore kuti mwana wanu azingotchula zifukwa zosiyanasiyana n’cholinga choti asakagone. Ngati mwana wanu wakupemphani kuti akagona pakatha mphindi 5, mungamulore, koma tcherani wotchi kuti ikukumbutseni nthawiyo ikatha. Wotchiyo ikalira, muuzeni mwanayo kuti akagone popanda zokambirana. Mawu anu akuti “Inde akhaledi Inde, ndipo mukati Ayi akhaledi Ayi.”​—Mateyo 5:37.

Khalani Ogwirizana

Mwambi wina wanzeru umati: “Mwananga, tamva mwambo wa atate wako, ndi kusasiya  chilangizo cha amako.” (Miyambo 1:8) Lemba la m’Baibulo limeneli limasonyeza kuti udindo wolangiza ana ndi wa makolo onse awiri. Komabe, ngakhale makolo atakhala oleredwa mofanana, angasiyane maganizo pankhani ya mmene angalangizire ana awo komanso pa malamulo a banja amene angagwire ntchito pazochitika zina. Kodi makolo angathetse bwanji vuto limeneli?

John, amene tamutchula koyambirira uja, anati, “Ndimaona kuti sibwino kuyambana pali ana.” Komabe, iye akuvomereza kuti zimenezi n’zovuta. John anati: “Ana amaona msanga zinthu. Ngakhale atapanda kumva kuti tayambana, mwana wathu amatha kuzindikira kuti zinthu sizili bwino.”

Kodi John ndi Alison amathetsa bwanji vuto limeneli? Alison anati: “Ngati sindikugwirizana ndi mmene mwamuna wanga akulangizira mwana wathu, ndimadikira kaye kuti mwanayo achoke ndisananene maganizo anga. Sindifuna kuti mwana wathu aziganiza kuti angatiyambanitse n’cholinga choti azichita zimene akufuna. Mwanayo akadziwa kuti makolofe tikusiyana maganizo, ndimamuuza kuti aliyense m’banja amafunika kumvera malangizo a Yehova pankhani ya umutu. Ndimamuuzanso kuti ndimagonjera mosangalala umutu wa bambo ake ndipo iyenso ayenera kugonjera makolofe.” (1 Akorinto 11:3; Aefeso 6:1-3) John anati: “Tikakhala pamodzi monga banja, ine ndi amene ndimalangiza ana athu. Koma ngati Alison ndi amene akuidziwa bwino nkhaniyo, ndimamulola kulangiza anawo ndipo ine ndimangomuthandiza. Ngati sindikugwirizana ndi chinachake, ndimakambirana naye nthawi ina.”

Kodi mungatani kuti musamayambane chifukwa chosiyana maganizo pankhani yolangiza ana komanso kuti ana anu azikulemekezani?

TAYESANI IZI: Khalani ndi nthawi yeniyeni mlungu uliwonse yokambirana mmene mungalangizire ana ndipo kambiranani momasuka kusiyana maganizo kulikonse kumene kungakhalepo. Muziyesetsa kumva maganizo a mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu, ndipo kumbukirani kuti nayenso ali ndi udindo wolangiza anawo.

Kulera Ana Kulimbitse Banja Lanu

Mosakayikira, kulera ana ndi ntchito yaikulu. Nthawi zina, ntchitoyi imaoneka kuti ndi yotopetsa. Komabe, n’kupita kwa nthawi ana anu adzachoka pakhomopo, ndipo mudzatsalanso anthu awiri. Kodi banja lanu lidzalimba kapena lidzasokonekera chifukwa cha zochitika polera ana? Yankho lanu likudalira ngati mumatsatira mfundo ya pa Mlaliki 4:9, 10, yakuti: “Awiri aposa mmodzi; pakuti ali ndi mphoto yabwino m’ntchito zawo. Pakuti akagwa, wina adzautsa mnzake.”

Ngati makolo alera ana mothandizana, zinthu zimayenda bwino kwambiri. Carol, amene watchulidwa koyambirira uja, ananena maganizo ake motere: “Ndinkadziwa kuti mwamuna wanga ali ndi makhalidwe abwino kwambiri, koma kulerera ana pamodzi kwandisonyeza makhalidwe ena abwino amene ali nawo. Panopo ndimamulemekeza ndi kumukonda kwambiri chifukwa choona mmene anasamalirira ana athu mwachikondi.” John ananena za mkazi wake, Alison, kuti: “Kuona mmene mkazi wanga wakhalira mayi wachikondi kwandipangitsa kumukonda ndi kumulemekeza kwambiri.”

Ngati mumakhala ndi nthawi yocheza ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu komanso ngati mukhala ogwirizana polera ana, banja lanu lidzalimba pamene ana anu akukula. Komanso ndiye kuti mukuwapatsa ana anu chitsanzo chabwino kwambiri.

^ ndime 3 Mayina tawasintha.

DZIFUNSENI KUTI . . .

  • Kodi pamlungu ndimacheza kangati ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga popanda ana?

  • Kodi ndimam’thandiza bwanji mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga akamalangiza ana athu?