Sangalalani mu Ukwati Wanu

“Nzeru imangitsa nyumba; luntha liikhazikitsa.”​—MIY. 24:3.

1. Kodi Mulungu anasonyeza bwanji nzeru atalenga munthu woyamba?

ATATE wathu wakumwamba ndi wanzeru ndipo amadziwa zinthu zabwino kwa anthufe. Mwachitsanzo, kuti cholinga chake chikwaniritsidwe, Mulungu anazindikira kuti “si kwabwino kuti munthu akhale yekha” m’munda wa Edene. Mbali yaikulu ya cholinga chimenecho inali yakuti anthu okwatira azikhala ndi ana kuti ‘adzaze dziko lapansi.’​—Gen. 1:28; 2:18.

2. Kodi Yehova anakonza zotani pofuna kuti anthu azisangalala?

² Yehova anati: “Ndidzam’pangira wom’thangatira iye.” Kenako, Mulungu anagonetsa tulo tatikulu mwamuna woyamba uja, ndipo anachotsa nthiti m’thupi lake langwiro. Nthitiyo anaipanga mkazi. Yehova atabweretsa Hava, mkazi wangwiro kwa Adamu, mwamunayo anati: “Uyu tsopano ndiye fupa la mafupa anga, ndi mnofu wa mnofu wanga; ndipo adzatchedwa Mkazi, chifukwa anam’tenga mwa mwamuna.” Hava analidi wom’thangatira Adamu. Aliyense anali ndi mtima ndiponso makhalidwe akeake, koma onsewo anali angwiro ndipo anapangidwa m’chifanizo cha Mulungu. Umu ndi mmene Yehova anakonzera ukwati woyamba. Adamu ndi Hava sanavutike kuvomereza ukwati umene Mulungu anawakonzerawo, womwe unawapatsa mpata wokondana ndi kuthandizana.​—Gen. 1:27; 2:21-23.

3. Kodi anthu ambiri amaiona bwanji mphatso ya ukwati, ndipo zimenezi zikubutsa mafunso ati?

³ N’zomvetsa chisoni kuti masiku ano, dzikoli ladzaza ndi mzimu wachipanduko. Mavuto amene mzimuwu umabweretsa sachokera kwa Mulungu. Anthu ambiri amanyoza mphatso  ya Mulungu ya ukwati ndipo amaiona kuti ndi yachikalekale, yovutitsa kapena yodanitsa anthu. Ambiri amene amakwatirana amasudzulana. M’banja mukakhala mavuto, ana sasonyezedwa chikondi chachibadwa ndipo makolo angagwiritse ntchito anawo kuti apeze zofuna zawo. Makolo ambiri safuna kulolerana, ngakhale kuti kuloleranako kungalimbikitse mtendere ndi umodzi. (2 Tim. 3:3) Ndiyeno kodi zingatheke bwanji kukhalabe osangalala muukwati m’masiku ovuta ano? Kodi kulolerana kungathandize bwanji kuteteza ukwati kuti usawonongeke? Kodi tingaphunzire chiyani kwa anthu amene akhalabe osangalala muukwati wawo?

Gonjerani Malangizo a Yehova

4. (a) Kodi Paulo anapereka malangizo otani a ukwati? (b) Kodi Akhristu omvera amatsatira bwanji malangizo amenewa a Paulo?

⁴ Mtumwi Paulo yemwe anali Mkhristu, mouziridwa ndi Mulungu analangiza akazi amasiye kuti ngati afuna kukwatiwanso, atero koma “kokha mwa Ambuye.” (1 Akor. 7:39) Mfundo imeneyi sinali yatsopano kwa Akhristu amene anali Ayuda. Chilamulo cha Mulungu kwa Aisiraeli chinanena mosapita m’mbali kuti iwo ‘asakwatirane’ ndi aliyense wa mitundu yachikunja. Yehova anapereka chifukwa chosonyeza kuopsa koswa lamulo lake limeneli. Iye anati: “Popeza [munthu amene si Mwisiraeli] adzapatutsa mwana wanu aleke kunditsata Ine, kuti atumikire milungu ina; potero Yehova adzapsa mtima pa inu, ndipo adzakuwonongani msanga.” (Deut. 7:3, 4) Kodi Yehova amafuna kuti atumiki ake masiku ano azichita chiyani pankhani imeneyi? Apa n’zodziwikiratu kuti mtumiki wa Mulungu ayenera kukwatira “mwa Ambuye,” zimene zikutanthauza kukwatira wolambira mnzake wodzipereka ndiponso wobatizidwa. Ndi nzeru kugonjera malangizo a Yehova pankhani imeneyi.

5. Kodi Yehova ndi Akhristu okwatirana amaona bwanji malumbiro a ukwati?

⁵ Mulungu amaona malumbiro a ukwati kukhala opatulika. Pofotokoza za ukwati woyamba, Yesu, Mwana wa Mulungu, anati: “Chimene Mulungu wachimanga pamodzi, munthu asachilekanitse.” (Mat. 19:6) Wamasalmo akutikumbutsa kuti malumbiro, kapena kuti zowinda, zimafunika kuzilemekeza. Iye anati: “Pereka kwa Mulungu nsembe yachiyamiko; num’chitire Wam’mwambamwamba chowinda chako.” (Sal. 50:14) Ngakhale kuti anthu angasangalale atakwatirana, malumbiro amene amachita tsiku la ukwati ndi olemekezeka ndipo amabweretsa udindo waukulu.​—Deut. 23:21.

6. Kodi tikuphunzirapo chiyani pa chitsanzo cha Yefita?

⁶ Taganizirani za Yefita, amene anali woweruza mu Isiraeli zaka za m’ma 1300 B.C.E. Iye anawinda kwa Yehova kuti: “Mukaperekatu ana a Amoni m’dzanja langa, ndipo kudzali kuti chilichonse chakutuluka pakhomo pa nyumba yanga kudzakomana nane pakubweranso ine ndi mtendere kuchokera kwa ana a Amoni, chidzakhala cha Yehova, ndipo ndidzachipereka nsembe yopsereza.” Kodi Yefita ataona kuti mwana wake wamkazi yekhayo ndi amene anatuluka kuti akamuchingamire, pamene iye anali kubwerera kunyumba kwake ku Mizipa, anaganiza kuti asachite zimene anawindazo? Ayi. Iye anati: “Ndam’tsegulira Yehova pakamwa panga ine, ndipo sinditha kubwerera.” (Ower. 11:30, 31, 35) Yefita anasunga lonjezo lake kwa Yehova, ngakhale kuti zimenezi zinatanthauza kuti sadzakhala ndi mbadwa zopitiriza dzina lake. Lumbiro la Yefita ndi losiyana ndi malumbiro a ukwati, koma mwa kulisunga anapereka chitsanzo chabwino kwa amuna ndi akazi achikhristu pankhani ya malumbiro a ukwati.

Kodi Chimafunika N’chiyani Kuti Ukwati Ukhale Wabwino?

7. Kodi anthu amene angokwatirana kumene amafunika kusintha chiyani?

⁷ Anthu ambiri okwatirana akakumbukira nthawi imene anali pa chibwenzi, amasangalala kwambiri. Nthawi imeneyo, zinali zosangalatsa kudziwana ndi munthu amene adzakwatirane naye. Chifukwa chochezera limodzi kwambiri, anadziwana bwino. Kaya anakhala pa chibwenzi asanakwatirane kapena ukwati wawo unangokonzedwa ndi makolo, atakwatirana anafunikira  kusintha moyo wawo. Mwamuna wina anati: “Vuto lalikulu lomwe tinali nalo titangokwatirana linali lakuti tinali kuiwala kuti ndife okwatirana tsopano. Zinativuta kwa nthawi ndithu kudziwa malire ochitira zinthu ndi mabwenzi ndiponso achibale.” Mwamuna wina, yemwe wakhala m’banja zaka 30, anazindikira msanga atangokwatirana kuti ngati akufuna kuchita zinthu mwanzeru, ayenera kuganiza zakuti ndi wokwatira. Anthu akawaitana, asanavomere kapena asanalonjeze kupita kwina, iye amafunsa kaye mkazi wake kenako n’kusankha zochita zokomera onse awiri. Pazinthu ngati zimenezi, kulolerana kumathandiza.​—Miy. 13:10.

8, 9. (a) N’chifukwa chiyani kulankhulana momasuka kuli kofunika? (b) Kodi kukhala okonzeka kusintha kumathandiza pa zinthu ziti, ndipo chifukwa chiyani?

⁸ Nthawi zina anthu osiyana chikhalidwe amakwatirana. Zikatero, pamafunika kulankhulana momasuka kwambiri. Anthu amalankhulana mosiyanasiyana. Mukamaona mmene mkazi kapena mwamuna wanu amalankhulira ndi achibale ake, zingakuthandizeni kumumvetsa. Nthawi zina maganizo enieni a munthu amadziwika ndi mmene iye akulankhulira osati zimene akulankhula. Ndipo ungadziwe zambiri ngakhale ngati mnzako sananene chilichonse. (Miy. 16:24; Akol. 4:6) Choncho, kuti mukhale osangalala pamafunika kukhala ozindikira.​—Werengani Miyambo 24:3.

⁹ Anthu ambiri aona kuti m’pofunika kukhala okonzeka kusintha pankhani ya zosangalatsa ndi zizolowezi zawo. Mwina musanakwatirane, mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu anali kukonda masewera kapena zosangalatsa zinazake. Kodi pazinthu zimenezi m’pofunikanso kusintha? (1 Tim. 4:8) Nanga bwanji pankhani ya nthawi imene munali kuthera pochita zinthu zina ndi achibale? N’zodziwikiratu kuti anthu okwatirana afunika kukhala ndi nthawi yochitira limodzi zinthu zauzimu ndi zinthu zina.​—Mat. 6:33.

10. Kodi kukhala ololera kumathandiza bwanji kuti makolo ndi ana awo amene ali m’banja azigwirizana?

¹⁰ Mwamuna akakwatira, amasiya atate ake ndi mayi ake ndipo mkazi nayenso amachita chimodzimodzi. (Werengani Genesis 2:24.) Komabe, lamulo la Mulungu lolemekeza makolo awo silisintha ngakhale atalowa m’banja. Choncho ngakhale pamene awiriwo akwatirana, afunika kupeza nthawi yochezera limodzi ndi makolo, apongozi ndi alamu awo. Mwamuna  wina amene wakhala m’banja zaka 25 anati: “Nthawi zina zimavuta kudziwa malire ochitira zinthu zosiyanasiyana zimene makolo, achibale ako ndi achibale a mnzako akufuna popanda kunyalanyaza zofuna za mnzakoyo. Posankha zochita, lemba la Genesis 2:24 limandithandiza. Munthu afunika kukhala wokhulupirika ndipo ayenera kusamalira achibale ake, koma vesili landithandiza kuona kuti kukhala wokhulupirika kwa mkazi wanga ndi kofunika koposa.” Choncho makolo achikhristu amene ndi ololera amazindikira kuti ana awo tsopano ali m’banja ndipo mwamuna wa m’banjamo ndi amene ali ndi udindo wotsogolera banjalo.

11, 12. N’chifukwa chiyani phunziro la banja ndiponso kupemphera zili zofunika m’banja?

¹¹ Kukhala ndi chizolowezi chabwino cha phunziro la banja ndi kofunika kwambiri. Zimene mabanja ambiri achikhristu akumana nazo zimatsimikizira mfundo imeneyi. Zingakhale zovuta kuyamba phunziro limeneli ndi kumalichita nthawi zonse. Mwamuna wina wa pabanja anavomereza kuti: “Zikanakhala zotheka kuti kale limabwerera ndipo tapatsidwa mpata wosintha zinthu, tikanayesetsa kukhala ndi chizolowezi chochita phunziro la banja kuyambira tsiku lomwe tinakwatirana.” Anapitiriza kuti: “N’zosangalatsa kwambiri kuona mmene mkazi wanga amasangalalira akazindikira mfundo ya choonadi cha m’Baibulo imene tapeza pa phunziro lathu.”

¹² Kupemphera limodzi ndi kothandizanso. (Aroma 12:12) Mwamuna ndi mkazi akamalambira Yehova limodzi, ubale wawo ndi Mulungu ungawathandize kukhala ogwirizana kwambiri muukwati wawo. (Yak. 4:8) Mwamuna wina wachikhristu anati: “Kupepesa msanga ukalakwitsa ndiponso kutchula zolakwazo mukamapemphera limodzi, ndi njira yosonyezera kuti ukumvadi chisoni ndi zimene walakwitsa ngakhale zitakhala zinthu zazing’ono zimene zingakhumudwitse winayo.”​—Aef. 6:18.

Khalani Ololerana Muukwati Wanu

13. Kodi Paulo anapereka malangizo otani pankhani ya kugonana muukwati?

¹³ Akhristu okwatirana ayenera kupewa zizolowezi za kugonana zosalemekeza ukwati zimene zafala m’dziko lokonda chiwerewereli. Pankhani imeneyi Paulo analangiza kuti: “Mwamuna azipereka kwa mkazi wake mangawa ake; mkazinso achite chimodzimodzi kwa mwamuna wake. Mkazi asachite ulamuliro pa thupi lake la iye mwini, ulamulirowo ukhale ndi mwamuna wake; mwamunanso asachite ulamuliro pa thupi lake la iye mwini, koma ulamulirowo ukhale ndi mkazi wake.” Kenako Paulo anapereka malangizo omveka bwino akuti: “Musamanane, kupatulapo ngati mwagwirizana kuimitsa mangawawo kwa nthawi yoikika.” Chifukwa chiyani? “Kuti muthere nthawi pa kupemphera, kenako mukhalenso mwa nthawi zonse, kuopera kuti Satana angamakuyesenibe pamene mulephera kudzigwira.” (1 Akor. 7:3-5) Pamene Paulo ananena za kupemphera, anasonyeza zinthu zimene ziyenera kukhala patsogolo kwa Akhristu. Koma anasonyezanso kuti Mkhristu  aliyense wokwatira afunika kukumbukira kuti mnzake amakhala ndi chilakolako ndipo amafunika kumukonda.

14. Kodi mfundo za m’Malemba ndi zothandiza bwanji pankhani ya kugonana muukwati?

¹⁴ Mwamuna ndi mkazi wake afunika kulankhulana momasuka ndiponso kuzindikira kuti kuchita zinthu mosaganizirana pankhani ya kugonana kungayambitse mavuto. (Werengani Afilipi 2:3, 4; yerekezerani ndi Mateyo 7:12.) Zimenezi zaoneka m’mabanja amene Mkhristu ali pabanja ndi munthu wa chipembedzo china. Ngakhale patakhala kusiyana maganizo, Mkhristu angathandize kuti zinthu ziyende bwino mwa kukhala ndi khalidwe labwino, kukhala wokoma mtima ndiponso womvera. (Werengani 1 Petulo 3:1, 2.) Kukonda Yehova, kukonda mkazi kapena mwamuna wako ndiponso mtima wololera ndi zothandiza kwambiri pambali imeneyi ya ukwati.

15. Kodi ulemu umathandiza bwanji kuti ukwati ukhale wosangalatsa?

¹⁵ Mwamuna wokoma mtima amalemekeza mkazi wake pa zinthu zinanso. Mwachitsanzo, amaganizira zofuna zake ngakhale pazinthu zing’onozing’ono. Mwamuna wina amene wakhala m’banja zaka 47 anavomereza kuti: “Ndikuphunzirabe pankhani imeneyi.” Akazi achikhristu akulangizidwa kukhala ndi ulemu waukulu kwa amuna awo. (Aef. 5:33) Kulankhula monyoza kapena kunena pagulu zimene mwamuna amalakwitsa, n’kupanda ulemu. Lemba la Miyambo 14:1 limatikumbutsa kuti: “Mkazi yense wanzeru amanga banja lake; koma wopusa alipasula ndi manja ake.”

Musagonjere Mdyerekezi

16. Kodi anthu okwatirana angagwiritse ntchito motani Aefeso 4:26, 27 muukwati wawo?

¹⁶ “Kwiyani, koma musachimwe. Dzuwa lisalowe muli chikwiyire, ndipo musam’patse malo Mdyerekezi.” (Aef. 4:26, 27) Kugwiritsa ntchito mawu amenewa kungatithandize kuthetsa kapena kupewa mikangano m’banja. Mlongo wina anati: “Sindikukumbukira nthawi imene tinakangana ndi kungokhala osathetsa nkhaniyo ndi mwamuna wanga, ngakhale kuti kuthetsa nkhaniyo kunafuna kukambirana nthawi yaitali.” Atangokwatirana, iye ndi mwamuna wake anagwirizana kuti sadzalola tsiku kudutsa popanda kuthetsa nkhani zimene alakwirana. “Tinagwirizana kuti kaya tilakwirana zotani, tizikhululukirana ndi kuiwala zonse kuti tiziyamba bwino tsiku lotsatira.” Motero ‘sanamupatse malo Mdyerekezi.’

17. Ngati mwamuna kapena mkazi akuona kuti sanasankhe bwino, kodi chingathandize ndi chiyani?

¹⁷ Koma bwanji ngati pokwatira simunasankhe bwino? Mwina panopa mungaone kuti simukukondana ngati mmene ena amachitira. Komabe mukamakumbukira mmene Mlengi amaonera ukwati, zidzakuthandizani. Mouziridwa ndi Mulungu, Paulo analangiza Akhristu kuti: “Ukwati ukhale wolemekezeka pakati pa onse, ndi kama wa ukwati akhale wosaipitsidwa, pakuti Mulungu adzaweruza achiwerewere ndi achigololo.” (Aheb. 13:4) Komanso musaiwale kuti: “Chingwe cha nkhosi zitatu sichiduka msanga.” (Mlal. 4:12) Ngati mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amafunitsitsa kuyeretsa dzina la Yehova, amakondana kwambiri ndipo amakondanso Mulungu. Amayesetsa kuti ukwati wawo ukhale wabwino podziwa kuti ukwati wotero umalemekeza Yehova, amene anayambitsa ukwati.​—1 Pet. 3:11.

18. Kodi ndi zotheka ukwati kukhala wotani?

¹⁸ N’zothekadi kwa Akhristu kusangalala muukwati wawo. Zimenezi zimafuna khama ndiponso makhalidwe achikhristu monga kulolerana. M’mipingo ya Mboni za Yehova padziko lonse, muli mabanja ambirimbiri amene akusonyeza kuti zimenezi n’zotheka.

Kodi Mungayankhe Bwanji?

• N’chifukwa chiyani ndi zotheka kukhala osangalala muukwati?

• N’chiyani chingathandize kuti ukwati ukhale wabwino?

• Kodi mwamuna ndi mkazi afunika kukhala ndi makhalidwe otani?

[Mafunso]

[Chithunzi patsamba 9]

Anthu akawaitana, banja lanzeru limakambirana lisanavomere kapena kulonjeza kupita kwina

[Chithunzi patsamba 10]

Yesetsani kuthetsa mikangano tsiku lomwelo ndipo “musam’patse malo Mdyerekezi”