Sizophweka kupeza mphatso imene ingakhale yabwino kwambiri kwa munthu. Ndipotu kuti mphatso ikhale yabwino, zimadalira mmene munthu wopatsidwayo akuionera. Komanso mphatso imene ingakhale yamtengo wapatali kwa munthu wina, ingakhale yosafunika kwenikweni kwa wina.

Mwachitsanzo, mphatso imene wachinyamata angaone kuti ndi yabwino kwambiri, ingasiyane ndi imene munthu wamkulu angaone kuti ndi yabwino. Koma m’zikhalidwe zina, ana ndi akulu omwe amasangalala akapatsidwa mphatso ya ndalama n’cholinga choti asankhe okha zimene angafune kugula.

Ngakhale kuti si zophweka kudziwa mphatso imene ingakhale yabwino kwa munthu, ambiri amayesetsa kufufuza mphatso yoyenera yoti apatse munthu amene amamukonda. N’zoona kuti nthawi zina, ngakhale mutayesetsa bwanji, zingakhalebe zovuta kupeza mphatso yoteroyo. Komabe kuganizira zinthu zina zokhudza munthuyo kungakuthandizeni kuti mupeze mphatso imene ingamusangalatse. Tiyeni tikambirane zinthu 4 zomwe mungaziganizire mukamafufuza mphatso yoti mupatse munthu.

Zimene munthuyo amalakalaka. Bambo wina wamumzinda wa Belfast ku Northern Ireland anapatsidwa njinga ali ndi zaka 10 kapena 11. Iye amaona kuti imeneyi inali mphatso yamtengo wapatali kwambiri. N’chifukwa chiyani zili choncho? Iye anati: “Chifukwa choti ndinkalakalaka nditakhala ndi njinga imeneyi.” Zimenezi zikusonyeza kuti munthu amasangalala akapatsidwa chinthu chimene wakhala akuchilakalaka kwa nthawi yaitali. Choncho muziganizira za munthu amene mukufuna kumupatsa mphatsoyo kuti muzindikire zinthu zimene amazilakalaka. Mwachitsanzo, agogo ambiri amaona kuti ndi chinthu chamtengo wapatali kukhala ndi nthawi yocheza komanso kusangalala ndi achibale awo. Komanso amalakalaka atamapeza mwayi wocheza ndi ana komanso zidzukulu zawo pafupipafupi. Choncho ngati mungakonze zoti pa nthawi ya tchuthi inuyo limodzi ndi achibale ena mukacheze nawo, angaone kuti imeneyo ndi mphatso yamtengo wapatali kwambiri.

Kuti muzindikire zimene munthu amalakalaka, pamafunika kumamumvetsera akamalankhula. Baibulo limati ‘tizikhala ofulumira kumva, odekha polankhula.’  (Yakobo 1:19) Mukamacheza ndi anzanu kapena achibale anu, muzimvetsera zimene akunena kuti mudziwe zomwe amakonda ndi zimene sakonda. Mukatero zingakhale zosavuta kuti mupeze mphatso imene ingawasangalatse.

Zimene munthuyo akufunikira. Ngati munthu wapatsidwa chinthu chomwe chingamuthandize kwambiri, angaone kuti imeneyo ndi mphatso yamtengo wapatali ngakhale zitakhala kuti si yodula. Koma kodi mungadziwe bwanji zimene munthu akufunikira?

Mwina mungaganize kuti njira yosavuta yodziwira zimenezi ndi kungomufunsa. Koma anthu ambiri amaona kuti zimenezi zimachititsa kuti wopereka mphatsoyo asasangalale kwambiri. Zili choncho chifukwa ambiri amasangalala akapereka mphatso pa nthawi imene munthu sakuyembekezera, makamakanso mphatsoyo ikakhala yogwirizana ndi zimene munthuyo akufunikira. Komanso kumufunsa sikungathandize kwenikweni. Tikutero chifukwa ngakhale kuti anthu ambiri amanena momasuka zimene amakonda ndi zimene amadana nazo, nthawi zambiri safotokoza zimene akusowa pa moyo wawo.

Choncho muyenera kukhala tcheru komanso kumachita chidwi ndi munthuyo kuti mumudziwe bwino. Kodi ndi mwana, wachikulire, sali pa banja, ali pa banja, banja lake linatha, mwamuna kapena mkazi wake anamwalira, ali pa ntchito kapena anapuma pa ntchito? Kenako ganizirani kuti ndi mphatso iti yomwe ingayenerere munthu wotero.

Kuti mudziwe zimene munthuyo akufunikira, funsani anthu ena amene anakumanapo ndi zimene munthuyo akukumana nazo. Angakuuzeni zinthu zina zimene anthu ambiri sazidziwa. Zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kupeza mphatso yoti munthuyo sanapatsidwepo, komanso yogwirizana ndi zimene akusowa pa moyo wake.

Nthawi yoyenera kumupatsa mphatsoyo. Baibulo limati: “Mawu onenedwa pa nthawi yoyenera ndi abwino kwambiri.” (Miyambo 15:23) Lembali likusonyeza kuti tikalankhula mawu abwino pa nthawi yoyenera, mawuwo amakhala othandiza komanso osangalatsa kwa munthu amene tikulankhula nayeyo. N’chimodzimodzinso ndi zimene timachita. Ngati tingapereke mphatso kwa munthu pa nthawi yoyenera kapena pa zochitika zoyenera, munthuyo angasangalale kwambiri ndi mphatsoyo.

Kodi mnzanu akulowa m’banja? Kapena wachinyamata akuchita mwambo womaliza maphunziro? Kapenanso banja lina likuyembekezera kubadwa kwa mwana? Izi ndi nthawi zina zimene anthu amakonda kupatsana mphatso. Ena amaona kuti zimawathandiza akalemba ndandanda ya zinthu zonse zapadera zimene zidzachitike chaka chamawa. Akatero amatha kukonzeratu mphatso yabwino yoti adzapereke. *

Komabe sikuti muyenera kupatsa ena mphatso pa zochitika zapadera zokha. Munthu amasangalala akapereka mphatso pa nthawi iliyonse. Komabe m’pofunika kusamala. Mwachitsanzo, ngati mnyamata angapereke mphatso kwa mtsikana popanda chifukwa chomveka, mtsikanayo angaganize kuti mnyamatayo akumufuna. Ndiyeno ngati cholinga cha mnyamatayo si chimenecho, pangakhale kusamvetsetsana kapenanso mavuto ena. Zimenezi zikutifikitsa pa mfundo ina yofunika kuiganizira tikafuna kupatsa wina mphatso. Mfundo yake ndi cholinga choperekera mphatsoyo.

Cholinga choperekera mphatsoyo. Chitsanzo chomwe tatchulachi, chikusonyeza kuti tiyenera kumaganiza kaye tisanapereke mphatso kuti tisachititse munthuyo kukhala ndi maganizo olakwika. Komanso tikamafuna kupereka mphatso, tiziyamba taganizira cholinga chimene tikuperekera mphatsoyo. Anthu ambiri amakakamizika kupereka mphatso pa zochitika zina chifukwa choti amaona kuti sangachitire mwina. Ndiye pali enanso amene amapereka mphatso n’cholinga choti apezepo kenakake kapena kuti nawonso adzapatsidwe mphatso.

Ndiye kodi mungatani kuti muzipereka mphatso ndi cholinga choyenera? Baibulo limati: “Zonse zimene mukuchita, muzichite mwachikondi.” (1 Akorinto 16:14) Ngati mwapatsa munthu mphatso chifukwa chomukonda komanso kumuganizira, n’zosachita kufunsa kuti munthuyo angasangalale kwambiri ndi mphatsoyo. Inunso mumasangalala kwambiri chifukwa chosonyeza mtima wowolowa manja. Komanso mukamapereka ndi mtima wonse, mumasangalatsa Atate wathu wakumwamba. Mtumwi Paulo anayamikira Akhristu a ku Korinto chifukwa anathandiza  Akhristu a ku Yudeya mowolowa manja komanso mosangalala. Anawauza kuti: “Mulungu amakonda munthu wopereka mokondwera.”​—2 Akorinto 9:7.

Mfundo zimene tatchula m’nkhaniyi zingakuthandizeni kuti muzipereka mphatso zimene munthu angasangalale nazo kwambiri. Mulungu anaganizira mfundo zimenezi komanso zina zambiri pamene ankapereka mphatso yaikulu kwambiri kwa anthufe. Tikukupemphani kuti muwerenge nkhani yotsatira kuti mudziwe mphatso imeneyi.