“Tsiku lina mkulu wanga anandipsetsa mtima moti ndinamulalatira koopsa. Kenako ndinakankha kwambiri chitseko moti mpaka chokoletsera chake chinaboola khoma. Ndikaona pamene panabookapo, pankandikumbutsa kuti ndinachita zinthu mosaganiza bwino.”—Anatero mtsikana wina dzina lake Diane. *

“Tsiku lina ndinakwiya kwambiri chifukwa cha zomwe bambo anga anachita, moti ndinawauza kuti, ‘Ndinu bambo woipa inu.’ Kenako ndinamenyetsa chitseko. Koma nditawayang’ana, ndinaona kuti akhumudwa kwambiri ndi zomwe ndinanenazo. Ndinadzimvera chisoni kwambiri moti ndinayamba kuganiza kuti, ‘Ndaneneranji zimenezi.’”—Anatero mtsikana wina dzina lake Lauren.

Kodi zimene zinachitikira Lauren ndi Diane zinayamba zakuchitikiranipo? Ngati ndi choncho, nkhaniyi ikuthandizani.

Kupsa mtima kungawononge mbiri yanu. Mtsikana wina wazaka 21 dzina lake Briana, anati: “Poyamba ndinkaganiza kuti anthu ayenera kungondizolowera kuti ndine wosachedwa kupsa mtima. Koma kenako anthu anayamba kundiona kuti ndine wovuta.”

Baibulo limati: “Munthu amene amakwiya msanga amachita zinthu zopusa.”—Miyambo 14:17.

Anthu akazindikira kuti simuchedwa kupsa mtima, amayamba kukupewani. Mnyamata wina wazaka 18, dzina lake Daniel anati: “Ukamangoti pang’onong’ono wapsa mtima, anthu amasiya kukulemekeza.” Mtsikana winanso wazaka 18, dzina lake Elaine, anati: “Anthu akaona kuti munthu ndi wosachedwa kupsa mtima, samukonda ndipo amayamba kumupewa.”

Baibulo limati: “Usamagwirizane ndi munthu aliyense wokonda kukwiya, ndipo usamayende ndi munthu waukali.”—Miyambo 22:24.

N’zotheka kusintha. Mtsikana wina wazaka 15 dzina lake Sara, anati: “Nthawi zina palibe chimene ungachite kuti anthu asakukhumudwitse. Komabe, nkhani yagona pa zimene ungachite munthu akakukhumudwitsa. Choncho ndi bwino kumaugwira mtima.”

Baibulo limati: “Munthu wosakwiya msanga ndi wabwino kuposa munthu wamphamvu, ndipo munthu wolamulira mtima wake amaposa munthu wogonjetsa mzinda.”—Miyambo 16:32.

Khalani ndi cholinga choti musinthe. M’malo moganiza kuti, “Ndi mmene ndilili,” yesetsani kusintha. Mungachite bwino kudziikira nthawi. Mwachitsanzo kukhala ndi cholinga choti pomatha miyezi 6 mudzakhale mutasintha. Pa miyezi 6 imeneyo muzilemba zomwe zikuchitika. Nthawi iliyonse yomwe mwalephera kuugwira mtima, lembani (1) zimene zinachitika, (2) zimene munachita, ndiponso (3) zomwe munayenera kuchita komanso chifukwa chake. Ndiyeno ulendo wina munthu wina akadzakukhumudwitsani, mudzayesetse kuchita zoyenerazo. Chinanso chofunika kwambiri, ndi kulemba zomwe mukuchita bwino. Muzilembanso mmene mukumvera pambuyo poti mwayesetsa kuugwira mtima.—Lemba lothandiza: Akolose 3:8.

Khazikani mtima pansi. Munthu wina akakukhumudwitsani, musafulumire kulankhula chilichonse chomwe chabwera m’mutu mwanu. Yesetsani kuugwira mtima. Ena amaona kuti kupuma mokoka mpweya kumathandiza kuti mtima ukhale pansi. Mnyamata wina wazaka 15 dzina lake Erik, anati: “Ndikapuma mokoka mpweya zimandithandiza kuti ndisalankhule kapena kuchita zinthu zoti n’kudzanong’oneza nazo bondo.”—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 21:23.

Ganizirani bwinobwino nkhaniyo. Nthawi zina mungakhumudwe chifukwa choti mukuganizira zomwe zakukhumudwitsanizo basi. Koma yesani kuganizira zomwe zachititsa kuti munthuyo achite zokukhumudwitsanizo. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Jessica anati: “Ngakhale munthuyo atakhala kuti walankhula zamwano, ndimayesetsabe kuganizira zomwe zachititsa kuti alankhule zimenezo.”—Lemba lothandiza: Miyambo 19:11.

Nthawi zina ndi bwino kungochokapo kaye. Baibulo limati: “Mkangano usanabuke, chokapo.” (Miyambo 17:14) Lembali likusonyeza kuti mukaona kuti mwayamba kukangana, ndi bwino kungochokapo. Mukatero yesetsani kupeza zochita zina kuti musamangoganizirabe za nkhaniyo. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Danielle anati: “Ndimaona kuti kuchita masewera olimbitsa thupi kumandithandiza kuti ndisakhale ndi nkhawa kwambiri komanso kuti ndiziugwira mtima.”

Muzingonyalanyaza vutolo. Baibulo limati: “Ngati mwakwiya, musachimwe. Lankhulani mumtima mwanu, . . . ndipo mukhale chete.” (Salimo 4:4) Dziwani kuti nthawi zina munthu akhoza kukwiya. Koma nkhani yagona pa zimene amachita akakwiya komanso kuti amakwiya kwa nthawi yaitali bwanji. Mnyamata wina dzina lake Richard anati: “Ngati mumachita zinazake chifukwa chopsa mtima ndi zomwe munthu wina wachita, ndiye kuti mukulamuliridwa ndi munthuyo. Munthu akakukhumudwitsa, nthawi zina ndi bwino kungozinyalanyaza.” Kuchita zimenezi kungakuthandizeni kuti muzilamulira mkwiyo wanu m’malo moti mkwiyowo uzikulamulirani.