Kuthandiza Achinyamata Kuti Akule Bwino

TAYEREKEZANI kuti mwachoka dera lotentha m’kupita kudera lozizira kwambiri. Mutangotsika ndege mukuona kuti nyengo ya kumeneko ndi yosiyana kwambiri ndi nyengo ya kwanu moti madzi amakhala oundana nthawi zonse. Kodi mungatani kuti mupitirize kukhala kumaloko? Mungafunikire kusintha zina ndi zina kuti muzolowere moyo wa kumaloko.

Zimenezi n’zofanana ndi zimene zimachitikira makolo mwana wawo akamakula. Zinthu zimasintha mwadzidzidzi. Mwana yemwe poyamba sankasiyana nanu, amapezeka kuti akungocheza ndi anzake basi. Mwinanso mwana yemwe poyamba ankakuuzani chilichonse chimene chamuchitikira kusukulu, mukamufunsa funso amapezeka kuti akungoyankha mwachidule.

Mukamufunsa kuti, “Kusukulu kunali bwanji?”

Iye amangoyankha kuti, “Kunali bwino.”

Kenako amakhala duu.

Mukamufunsanso kuti, “Kodi ukuganiza chiyani?”

Iye amangoyankha kuti, “Palibe.”

Kenako amakhalanso duu.

Zinthu zoterezi zimachititsa kholo kuyamba kudabwa kuti chikuchitika n’chiyani. Buku lina linanena kuti, pa nthawi imeneyi kholo limene poyamba linkadziwa chilichonse chokhudza mwana wake limapezeka kuti likudziwa zochepa kwambiri zokhudza mwanayo, moti mwinanso anthu ena angamadziwe zochulukirapo kuposa kholo lake.—Breaking the Code.

Kodi muyenera kungokhala osachitapo kanthu? Ayi. Pali zimene mungachite kuti mwana wanu ayambirenso kumasuka nanu ngati mmene ankachitira kale. Koma choyamba, muyenera kumvetsa zimene zikumuchitikira pa moyo wake pa nthawi yovuta imeneyi ya unyamata.

Kuchoka pa Mwana Kufika pa Munthu Wamkulu

Poyamba akatswiri ochita kafukufuku ankaganiza kuti mwana akamafika zaka zisanu, ubongo wake umakhala utamaliza kukula ndipo susintha kwenikweni mmene umagwirira ntchito. Koma panopa azindikira kuti mwana akafika zaka zimenezi, ubongo wake umasintha kwambiri mmene umagwirira ntchito ngakhale kuti sukula kwenikweni. Mwana akangotha msinkhu, amasintha kwambiri kaganizidwe kake. Mwachitsanzo, mwana wamng’ono amangoona zinthu mwachibwanabwana, pamene wachinyamata amaganiza mwakuya, n’kudziwa zifukwa zenizeni zimene zikuchititsa kuti chinachake chichitike. (1 Akorinto 13:11) Amakhala ndi mfundo zimene amatsatira ndipo sachita manyazi kuuza ena mfundozo.

Bambo wina wa ku Italy, dzina lake Paolo, ataona mmene mwana wake wasinthira, ananena kuti: “Ndikakhala ndi mwana wanga wazaka 15, ndimaona ngati ndili ndi munthu wachikulire, osati mwananso. Ndimagoma kwambiri ndi mmene amaganizira. Iye saopa kufotokoza maganizo ake ndipo amakhala ndi zifukwa zomveka zotsatirira maganizo akewo.”

Kodi nanunso mwaona kuti mwana wanu wasintha kwambiri? Mwina poyamba ali wamng’ono ankangotsatira chilichonse chimene mwamuuza. Ndipo akafunsa chifukwa chake, munkangomuuza kuti, “Chifukwa ndanena ndi ineyo.” Koma panopa amafuna kuti muzimupatsa zifukwa zomveka bwino, ndipo nthawi zina amaona kuti mfundo  zina zimene mumayendera si zabwino kwenikweni. Nthawi zina zinthu zimene amachita, zikhoza kukupangitsani kuganiza kuti wayamba kukupandukirani.

Koma musathamangire kuganiza kuti mwana wanu sakufuna kutsatira mfundo zimene banja lanu limayendera. Iye angakhale kuti akufunitsitsa kuti azitsatira mfundozo koma kungoti kuchita zimenezi si kophweka kwa iyeyo. Zili ngati zimene zimachitika posamuka. Munthu akamasamuka nyumba yakale n’kukalowa nyumba yatsopano, pamakhala chintchito kuti katundu aliyense amupezere malo m’nyumba yatsopanoyo. Komabe, mulimonse mmene zingakhalire munthuyo sataya katundu amene akumuona kuti ndi wofunika kwambiri.

Zimenezi n’zimenenso zimachitikira mwana pa nthawi ya unyamata pamene akukonzekera ‘kusiyana ndi bambo komanso mayi ake.’ (Genesis 2:24) Mwina kwatsala zaka zingapo kuti mwana wanu adzachoke pakhomo panu n’kukakhala payekha, komabe dziwani kuti panopa zili ngati kuti akulongedza katundu wake. Pa nthawi imeneyi, iye apitirizabe kuunika ngati mfundo zimene mwamuphunzitsa zili zabwino kapena ayi, ndipo ali pa ntchito yaikulu yosankha mfundo zoti apitirize kuzitsatira pa moyo wake. *

Mwina mfundo yakuti pa nthawi imeneyi mwana wanu amakhala akupanga zosankha zake ingakuchititseni mantha. Komabe muyenera kukumbukira kuti iye akadzachoka, azidzatsatira mfundo zokhazo zimene akuziona kuti n’zofunika kwambiri. Choncho panopa, pamene mwana wanu adakali pakhomo panu, ndi nthawi yakuti aunike bwinobwino mfundo zimene azidzatsatira akadzakula.—Machitidwe 17:11.

N’zofunika kwambiri kuti mwana wanu achite zimenezi, chifukwa ngati atamangotsatira mfundo zanu popanda kuziunika bwino, m’tsogolo azidzangotsatiranso mfundo za anthu ena m’chimbulimbuli. (Ekisodo 23:2) Baibulo limafotokoza kuti wachinyamata amene amangotsatira mfundo za ena ndi “wopanda nzeru mumtima mwake.” (Miyambo 7:7) Wachinyamata amene sadziwa bwinobwino mfundo zofunika kutsatira pa moyo wake, ‘amatengekatengeka ngati kuti akukankhidwa ndi mafunde, ndiponso amatengeka kupita uku ndi uku ndi mphepo iliyonse ya chiphunzitso chonyenga cha anthu.’—Aefeso 4:14.

Kodi mungathandize bwanji mwana wanu kuti zimenezi zisamuchitikire? Onetsetsani kuti ali ndi zinthu zitatu zotsatirazi:

1 MPHAMVU ZA KUZINDIKIRA

Mtumwi Paulo anafotokoza kuti “anthu okhwima mwauzimu” amagwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zawo za kuzindikira, ndipo amaphunzitsa mphamvuzo kusiyanitsa choyenera ndi chosayenera. (Aheberi 5:14) Koma mwina munganene kuti: “Ndinaphunzitsa kale mwana wanga kusiyanitsa choyenera ndi chosayenera.” Ngati munachitadi zimenezi, n’zosakayikitsa kuti zimene munamuphunzitsazo zakhala zikumuthandiza mpaka pano. (2 Timoteyo 3:14) Komabe, Paulo ananena kuti anthu okhwima mwauzimu ndi amene amasonyeza mphamvu za kuzindikira. Ana amafunika  kukhala ndi nzeru zotha kusiyanitsa choyenera ndi chosayenera. Koma achinyamata amafunikanso kukhala “aakulu msinkhu” pa nkhani yokhala ndi “luntha la kuzindikira.” (1 Akorinto 14:20; Miyambo 1:4; 2:11) Muyenera kuthandiza mwana wanu kuti aziganiza mwakuya m’malo momangotsatira zimene inuyo mukumuuza. (Aroma 12:1, 2) Kodi mungamuthandize bwanji kuchita zimenezi?

Njira yoyamba ndi kumulola kufotokoza maganizo ake. Pamene akulankhula, musamamudule mawu kapena kupsa mtima ngati walankhula zinazake zimene inuyo simumayembekezera. Baibulo limanena kuti: “Munthu aliyense akhale wofulumira kumva, wodekha polankhula, wosafulumira kukwiya.” (Yakobo 1:19; Miyambo 18:13) Komanso Yesu ananena kuti: “Pakamwa pamalankhula zosefukira mumtima.” (Mateyu 12:34) Ngati mumatchera khutu ku zimene mwana wanu amanena, zidzakhala zosavuta kudziwa zinthu zimene zimamudetsa nkhawa.

Mukamalankhula naye muziyesetsa kumufunsa mafunso m’malo momangomuuza zochita. Yesu nthawi zina ankafunsa ophunzira ake kuti, “Kodi mukuganiza bwanji?” Iye ankachita zimenezi n’cholinga chodziwa zimene zinali m’maganizo mwawo. (Mateyu 21:23, 28) Inunso mungachite chimodzimodzi ndi ana anu, ngakhale pamene iwo ali ndi maganizo osiyana ndi anu. Mwachitsanzo:

Mwana wanu akanena kuti: “Ndikukayikira zoti kuli Mulungu.”

M’malo momuuza kuti: “Ifeyo takhala tikukuphunzitsa kuti Mulungu alipo ndipo iweyo uyenera kukhulupirira zimenezi.”

Munganene kuti: “N’chifukwa chiyani ukukayikira zoti kuli Mulungu?”

N’chifukwa chiyani muyenera kumulimbikitsa kulankhula zakukhosi kwake? Ngakhale kuti mwamva kale zimene wanena, muyenerabe kufufuza n’kumvetsa zimene zili m’maganizo mwake. (Miyambo 20:5) Mwina vuto lingakhale lakuti akukayikira phindu lotsatira mfundo za Mulungu, osati kukayikira kuti Mulungu alipo.

Mwachitsanzo, wachinyamata amene akukopeka kuti achite zinthu zoipa, akhoza kungonena kuti sakhulupirira Mulungu n’cholinga choti amasuke kuchita zimene akufunazo. (Salimo 14:1) Iye anganene kuti, ‘Popeza kuti kulibe Mulungu, palibe chifukwa chotsatirira mfundo za m’Baibulo.’

Ngati mwana wanu wayamba kuganiza choncho, angafunike kudzifunsa kuti, Kodi ndimakhulupirira kuti kutsatira malamulo a Mulungu n’kothandiza pa moyo wanga? (Yesaya 48:17, 18) Ngati yankho lake lili lakuti mfundo za m’Baibulo n’zothandiza, mulimbikitseni kuti aziyesetsa kuzitsatira ngakhale ngati anthu ena akumukopa kuchita zinthu zosiyana ndi mfundozo.—Agalatiya 5:1.

Mwana wanu akanena kuti: “Chimenechi n’chipembedzo chanu, osati changa.”

M’malo momuuza kuti: “N’chipembedzo cha tonsefe. Chifukwa chakuti iweyo ndi mwana wathu, uyenera kukhulupirira zimene ifeyo timakhulupirira.

Munganene kuti: “Zimene ukunena zikumveka. Komabe ngati sukukhulupirira zimene ife timakhulupirira, payenera kukhala mfundo zinazake zimene umakhulupirira. Ndiye tatiuza, iweyo umakhulupirira zotani? Kodi ndi mfundo ziti zimene ukuona kuti n’zabwino kuzitsatira?”

N’chifukwa chiyani muyenera kumulimbikitsa kulankhula zakukhosi kwake? Chifukwa kukambirana naye mwanjira imeneyi kungamuthandize kuti aganizire nkhaniyo bwinobwino. Iye akhoza kudabwa kuona kuti inuyo ndi iyeyo mumakhulupirira  zinthu zofanana, kungoti pali zinthu zina zimene zikumudetsa nkhawa.

Mwachitsanzo, mwina mwana wanuyo akunena zimenezo chifukwa chakuti akulephera kufotokozera anzake zimene amakhulupirira. (Akolose 4:6; 1 Petulo 3:15) Kapenanso zikhoza kutheka kuti iye wakopeka ndi mtsikana kapena mnyamata wa chipembedzo china. Choncho, fufuzani chifukwa chenicheni chimene chikumuchititsa kukayikira zimene amakhulupirira n’cholinga choti mumuthandize. Akamayesetsa kugwiritsa ntchito mphamvu zake za kuzindikira adakali wamng’ono, sadzavutika kuchita zinthu mwanzeru akadzakula.

2 KUCHEZA NDI ANTHU ACHIKULIRE

M’mayiko ena, achinyamata sakumana ndi mavuto aakulu ngati amene akatswiri ena amanena kuti achinyamata amakumana nawo. Anthu ochita kafukufuku apeza kuti m’mayiko amenewo, achinyamata sakumana ndi mavuto chifukwa chakuti amayamba kucheza ndi anthu achikulire kuyambira ali aang’ono. Achinyamatawa amagwira ntchito ndi anthu achikulire, kucheza nawo komanso amapatsidwa ntchito zikuluzikulu zofunika anthu achikulire. M’mayiko amenewa achinyamata amachita zinthu zodalirika.

Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, taganizirani za ana a m’mayiko ena ambiri amene amangodzazana m’masukulu ndipo sacheza kwenikweni ndi anthu achikulire. Ana amenewa akaweruka n’kubwerera kunyumba, amakapeza kuti kulibe aliyense chifukwa bambo ndi mayi awo amakhala ali kuntchito. Ndipo achibale awo amakhala kutali. Anthu amene angathe kucheza nawo ndi ana anzawo basi. * Kodi mukutha kuona kuopsa kwa zimenezi? Si kuti vuto ndi kucheza ndi anthu olakwika ayi. Anthu ena ochita kafukufuku anapeza kuti ngakhale ana akhalidwe labwino ngati sakukhala limodzi ndi anthu achikulire, amayamba khalidwe lotayirira.

Pa chikhalidwe cha Aisiraeli, achinyamata ankachita zinthu pamodzi ndi anthu achikulire. * Mwachitsanzo, m’Baibulo muli nkhani ya Uziya, amene anakhala mfumu ya ku Yuda ali wachinyamata. Kodi n’chiyani chinathandiza Uziya kukwaniritsa udindo waukulu umenewu? N’kutheka kuti chinthu chimodzi chimene chinamuthandiza ndi kucheza ndi munthu wina wachikulire dzina lake Zekariya. Baibulo limanena kuti Zekariya anali “kumulangiza kuti aziopa Mulungu woona.”—2 Mbiri 26:5.

Kodi mwana wanu amacheza ndi anthu enaake achikulire amene amatsatira mfundo zabwino? Ngati ndi choncho, musamamuletse kucheza ndi anthu amenewo chifukwa akhoza kumuthandiza kukhala ndi khalidwe labwino. Baibulo limati: “Munthu woyenda ndi anthu anzeru adzakhala wanzeru, koma wochita zinthu ndi anthu opusa adzapeza mavuto.”—Miyambo 13:20.

3 KUGWIRA NTCHITO

Mayiko ena anakhazikitsa malamulo amene salola ana ang’ono kugwira ntchito zinazake kapena kugwira ntchito kwa maola ambiri. Malamulo amenewa anaikidwa n’cholinga choteteza ana kuti asamagwire ntchito zimene zingaike moyo wawo pangozi. Malamulowa anakhazikitsidwa kale kwambiri m’zaka za ma 1700 ndi 1800, pa nthawi imene mafakitale ambiri ankatsegulidwa.

 Ngakhale kuti malamulowa anathandizadi kuti ana asamagwire ntchito m’malo oopsa komanso asamazunzidwe, akatswiri ena amanena kuti malamulowa achititsa kuti ana azikhala aulesi. Buku lina linanena kuti malamulo amenewa achititsa kuti achinyamata ambiri “azingofuna kuti azichitiridwa chilichonse popanda iwowo kugwira ntchito.” Anthu amene analemba bukuli ananena kuti m’pake kukhala ndi maganizo amenewa chifukwa chakuti “anthu ambiri amangofuna kuchita zinthu zosangalatsa achinyamata, m’malo mowalimbikitsa kuti azichita zinthu zinazake zothandiza anthu ena.”—Escaping the Endless Adolescence.

Mosiyana ndi zimenezi, Baibulo limanena za achinyamata amene ankachita zinthu zazikulu ali aang’ono. Mwachitsanzo, Timoteyo ayenera kuti anali asanakwanitse zaka 20 pamene anakumana ndi mtumwi Paulo. Mtumwi Paulo anamuthandiza kwambiri Timoteyo, moti nthawi ina anamulimbikitsa kuti ‘akolezere ngati moto mphatso ya Mulungu imene inali mwa iye.’ (2 Timoteyo 1:6) Mwina atangotsala pang’ono kufika zaka 20 kapena atangopitirira pang’ono, anachoka kwawo n’kuyamba kuyenda ndi mtumwi Paulo, ndipo ankamuthandiza kukhazikitsa mipingo yatsopano ndi kulimbikitsa Akhristu anzake. Atayenda ndi Timoteyo kwa zaka pafupifupi 10, Paulo anauza Akhristu a ku Filipi kuti: “Ndilibe wina wamtima ngati iye, amene angasamaledi za inu moona mtima.”—Afilipi 2:20.

Nthawi zambiri achinyamata amakhala ofunitsitsa kugwira ntchito inayake, makamaka ngati aona kuti ntchitoyo ndi yofunika komanso yothandiza anthu ena. Zimenezi zimawathandiza kukhala ndi khalidwe labwino komanso akadzakula amadzakhala anthu odalirika.

Mukhoza Kumamvana Bwinobwino ndi Mwana Wanu

Monga mmene tinanenera kumayambiriro kwa nkhani ino, makolo ambiri amaona kuti zinthu zimasintha mwadzidzidzi ndipo sakugwirizananso ndi mwana wawo ngati mmene ankachitira poyamba. Ngati inunso mukuona chimodzimodzi, dziwani kuti mukhoza kuyambanso kumvana ndi mwana wanu.

Pamene mwana wanu akukula, muzidziwa kuti muli ndi udindo womuthandiza (1)  kukhala ndi luso la kuzindikira, (2) kucheza ndi anthu achikulire, komanso (3) kugwira ntchito. Mukatero, mwana wanu adzakula bwino.

[Mawu a M’munsi]

[Bokosi/Chithunzi patsamba 20]

“MAKOLO ANGA NDI ANTHU ABWINO KWAMBIRI”

Makolo a Mboni za Yehova amaphunzitsa ana awo kutsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo. Amachita zimenezi powalangiza komanso kuwasonyeza chitsanzo. (Aefeso 6:4) Komabe, sikuti amachita kuwakakamiza kuti azitsatira mfundozo. Makolo a Mboni za Yehova amadziwa kuti mwana aliyense akakula, amafunika kusankha yekha mfundo zimene ayenera kutsatira pa moyo wake.

Mtsikana wina wazaka 18, dzina lake Aislyn, anasankha kutsatira mfundo zimene makolo ake anamuphunzitsa. Iye anati: “Ineyo sindimangopita kopemphera tsiku limodzi, ndipo ndikabwera basi ndathana nazo. Ndimatsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo tsiku lililonse. Zimene ndimaphunzira zimakhudza mmene ndimasankhira zochita monga anzanga ocheza nawo, maphunziro amene ndimatenga kusukulu komanso mabuku amene ndimawerenga.”

Aislyn amathokoza kwambiri makolo ake chifukwa chomuphunzitsa mfundo zachikhristu. Iye anati: “Ndimaona kuti makolo anga ndi anthu abwino kwambiri ndipo ndimawathokoza chifukwa chondithandiza kukhala wa Mboni za Yehova. Ndidzapitirizabe kutsatira mfundo zimene makolo anga anandiphunzitsa kwa moyo wanga wonse.”

[Chithunzi patsamba 17]

Muzilimbikitsa mwana wanu kukuuzani zakukhosi kwake

[Chithunzi patsamba 18]

Mwana wanu akhoza kuphunzira zambiri akamacheza ndi munthu wachikulire

[Chithunzi patsamba 19]

Mukaphunzitsa mwana wanu kugwira ntchito samadzavutika akakula