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Kodi Ndife Okonzekadi Kulowa M’banja?

Kodi Ndife Okonzekadi Kulowa M’banja?

Mutu 30

Kodi Ndife Okonzekadi Kulowa M’banja?

Tiyerekeze kuti mwapeza munthu woyenerera woti n’kumanga naye banja ndipo mwakhala muli pa chibwenzi kwa kanthawi ndithu moti mwadziwa kuti mumakondanadi. Panopa mwayamba kuganizira za ukwati. Koma pamene mukuganizira zimenezi mukuyamba kudzifunsa kuti . . .

Kodi ndife okonzekadi kulowa m’banja?

ALIYENSE amakhala ndi mafunso ambirimbiri akamaganizira za ukwati ngakhale atakhala kuti amakondana ndi chibwenzi chakecho. Ukwati ndi chosankha chachikulu chomwe chimasinthiratu moyo wa munthu. Choncho, ndi nzeru kuchita zinthu mosamala pamene mukuganizira zolowa m’banja chifukwa masiku ano mabanja ambiri sakuyenda bwino komanso anthu ambiri mabanja awo akutha. Koma kodi mungadziwe bwanji kuti ndinu okonzeka kulowa m’banja? Panopa mukufunika kusintha kaganizidwe kanu. M’malo momangoganizira kwambiri za maloto kapena kuti zinthu zimene mumalakalaka koma zomwe ndi zosatheka, muziganizira kwambiri zoona zenizeni kapena kuti zinthu zomwe zingachitikedi. Mwachitsanzo:

MALOTO 1 “Timakondana moti tikhoza kumakhala bwinobwino opanda ndalama.”

Zoona zake: Chikondi sichingalipire ngongole zimene muli nazo kapena kuthetsa mavuto azachuma amene mungakhale nawo. Ndipotu kafukufuku amasonyeza kuti ndalama ndi zimene zimayambitsa mavuto ambiri a m’banja komanso kuti mabanja azitha. Kuona ndalama molakwika kukhoza kusokoneza maganizo anu, ubwenzi wanu ndi Yehova komanso banja lanu. (1 Timoteyo 6:9, 10) Zimenezi zikutiphunzitsa kuti si bwino kudikira mpaka tidzalowe m’banja tisanayambe kukambirana za mmene tizidzagwiritsira ntchito ndalama.

Zimene Baibulo limanena: “Ndani wa inu amene akafuna kumanga nsanja sayamba wakhala pansi ndi kuwerengera ndalama zimene adzawononge.”​—Luka 14:28.

Zimene mungachite: Muzikambirana ndi chibwenzi chanucho panopa za mmene muzidzagwiritsira ntchito ndalama mukadzalowa m’banja. (Miyambo 13:10) Kambiranani mafunso ngati awa: Kodi ndalama zimene tizidzapeza tizidzazigawa bwanji? Kodi ndalama zimene aliyense amapeza tizidzaziphatikiza, kapena aliyense azidzasunga yekha? Kodi ndani amene akuoneka kuti akhoza kukwanitsa bwino kumayang’anira nkhani za ndalama komanso kuonetsetsa kuti mwalipira zonse zofunikira? * Kodi ndi ndalama zingati zimene aliyense akhoza kungotenga n’kugwiritsa ntchito popanda kuuza kaye mnzake? Panopa ndi nthawi yabwino yoyamba kuchitira zinthu limodzi.​—Mlaliki 4:9, 10.

MALOTO 2 “Banja lathu lidzakhala logwirizana kwambiri chifukwa sitimatsutsana ngakhale pang’ono.”

Zoona zake: Ngati panopa simumatsutsana, n’kutheka kuti mumapewa kukambirana nkhani zimene zingachititse kuti mutsutsane kapena musiyane maganizo. Koma mukadzalowa m’banja simudzakhalanso ndi mwayi umenewo. Choyenera kudziwa n’chakuti, n’zosatheka kuti anthu awiri opanda ungwiro azigwirizana pa chilichonse, choncho muzidzatsutsanabe pa zinthu zina. (Aroma 3:23; Yakobo 3:2) Musamangoganizira za kugwirizana kwanu koma muziganiziranso zimene mumachita mukasemphana maganizo. Kuti anthu awiri azigwirizana kwambiri ayenera kuvomereza kuti ali ndi maganizo osiyana pa zinthu zina kenako n’kuthandizana kuthetsa vutolo moyenera komanso mwamtendere.

Zimene Baibulo limanena: “Dzuwa lisalowe muli chikwiyire.”​—Aefeso 4:26.

Zimene mungachite: Ganizirani mofatsa mmene mwakhala mukuchitira ndi makolo anu komanso abale anu mukasemphana maganizo. Lembani tchati chofanana ndi chimene chili patsamba 93 m’bukuli kapena chimene chili patsamba 221, m’Buku Lachiwiri. Lembani zinthu zenizeni zimene zinachititsa kusagwirizanako, zimene munachita komanso njira yabwino imene mukanathetsera nkhaniyo. Mwachitsanzo, tiyerekeze kuti nthawi zambiri mukasemphana maganizo ndi munthu mumangonyamuka mokwiya kupita kuchipinda kwanu n’kumenyetsa chitseko, lembani zinthu zoyenera zimene mukanachita. Zimene mulembezo zikhale zimene zingathandize kuthetsa nkhaniyo m’malo mowonjezera kusagwirizanako. Ngati panopa mutaphunzira kuthetsa moyenera kusagwirizana, mudzakhala ndi luso limene lingadzakuthandizeni kwambiri kuti mudzakhale ndi banja losangalala.

MALOTO 3 “Ndikadzangolowa m’banja sindidzavutikanso ndi chilakolako.”

Zoona zake: Kulowa m’banja sikutanthauza kuti muzidzagonana nthawi iliyonse imene mwafuna. Kumbukirani kuti mkazi kapena mwamuna wanuyo nayenso ndi munthu ndipo muyenera kuchita zinthu momuganizira. Ndipotu nthawi zina azidzapezeka kuti ali ndi zifukwa zomveka zomuchititsa kusafuna kugona nanu. Kukhala pa banja sikukupatsani ufulu wokakamira zimene mukufuna. (1 Akorinto 10:24) Kudziletsa n’kofunika kwa munthu amene sali pa banja komanso amene ali pa banja.​—Agalatiya 5:22, 23.

Zimene Baibulo limanena: “Aliyense wa inu akhale woyera mwa kudziwa kulamulira thupi lake m’njira yoyera kuti mukhale olemekezeka pamaso pa Mulungu, osati mwa chilakolako chosalamulirika cha kugonana.”​—1 Atesalonika 4:4, 5.

Zimene mungachite: Ganizirani mofatsa zimene mumachita mukakhala ndi chilakolako ndipo ganizirani mmene zimenezi zingadzakhudzire banja lanu. Mwachitsanzo, kodi muli ndi chizolowezi choseweretsa maliseche? Kodi muli ndi chizolowezi choonera zolaula? Kapena kodi mumakonda kuyang’anitsitsa anyamata kapena atsikana mowasirira? Dzifunseni kuti, ‘Ngati ndimalephera kudziletsa ndikakhala ndi chilakolako panopa, kodi ndidzakwanitsa kuchita zimenezi ndikadzalowa m’banja?’ (Mateyu 5:27, 28) Kapena kodi anthu amakudziwani monga munthu amene amakonda kukopa anyamata kapena atsikana? Ngati muli ndi chizolowezi chimenechi, kodi mudzatani mukadzalowa m’banja popeza mudzafunika kumaganizira za mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu yekha?​—Miyambo 5:15-17.

MALOTO 4 “Ndidzayamba kusangalala ndikadzalowa m’banja.”

Zoona zake: Munthu yemwe sasangalala ali yekha nthawi zambiri amakhalabe wosasangalala ngakhale atalowa m’banja. N’chifukwa chiyani tikutero? Tikutero chifukwa kwenikweni munthu amakhala wosangalala chifukwa cha mmene amaonera zinthu osati mmene zinthu zilili pa moyo wake. (Miyambo 15:15) Anthu amene amakonda kuganizira za mavuto amene akukumana nawo nthawi zambiri amangoganizira za zinthu zimene sizikuyenda bwino m’banja lawo m’malo moganizira zinthu zimene zikuyenda bwino. Choncho ndi bwino kuti muphunzire kukhala munthu wosangalala mukadali nokha. Kenako mukadzakwatira mudzapitiriza kukhala wosangalala ndiponso mudzathandiza mwamuna kapena mkazi wanuyo kukhala wosangalala.

Zimene Baibulo limanena: “Kuona ndi maso kuli bwino kuposa kulakalaka ndi mtima. Izinso n’zachabechabe ndipo zili ngati kuthamangitsa mphepo.”​—Mlaliki 6:9.

Zimene mungachite: Nthawi zina munthu umakhala wosasangalala chifukwa chakuti umayembekezera zinthu zosatheka. Pezani pepala lapadera ndipo mulembepo zinthu ziwiri kapena zitatu zimene mukuyembekezera mukadzalowa m’banja. Kenako dzifunseni kuti: ‘Kodi zimene ndikuyembekezerazi n’zotheka kapena ndi maloto chabe? Kodi maganizo amenewo abwera chifukwa cha zimene mumaonera pa TV, m’mafilimu achikondi kapena zimene zimalembedwa m’mabuku? Kodi ndikungoyembekeza zinthu zongopindulitsa ineyo, monga kundithandiza kuti ndisamasowe wocheza naye, ndisamavutike ndi chilakolako kapena kuti anzanga ayambe kundipatsa ulemu?’ Ngati zili choncho mukufunika kusintha maganizo anu. Musamaganizire kwambiri za inu nokha, koma za nonse awiri. Kuti muchite zimenezi, lembani zinthu ziwiri kapena zitatu zomwe mukuyembekezera mukadzalowa m’banja zimene zikukhudza inuyo komanso mkazi kapena mwamuna amene mudzakwatirane naye.

Maloto amene atchulidwa m’mwambamu akhoza kusokoneza kwambiri banja lanu moti simungakhale osangalala. Choncho yesetsani kuchotsa maganizo oterowo ndipo muyambe kuganiza za zinthu zomwe zingachitikedi. Zimene zili patsamba 216 ndi 217 zingakuthandizeni inuyo komanso munthu amene mudzakwatirane naye pokonzekera kuti mudzakhale ndi banja losangalala, yomwe ndi mphatso ya mtengo wapatali.​—Deuteronomo 24:5; Miyambo 5:18.

M’MUTU WOTSATIRA

Chibwenzi chikatha umamva ngati waferedwa. Ndiye kodi mungatani ngati chibwenzi chanu chitatha?

[Mawu a M’munsi]

^ ndime 9 “Mkazi wabwino” wotchulidwa pa Miyambo 31:10-28 amaoneka kuti anali ndi maudindo angapo akuluakulu okhudza za ndalama. Onani vesi 13, 14, 16, 18 ndi 24.

LEMBA

“Mwamuna adzasiya bambo ake ndi mayi ake, n’kudziphatika kwa mkazi wake, ndipo iwo adzakhala thupi limodzi.”​—Genesis 2:24.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Funsani anthu achikulire omwe akhala m’banja kwa nthawi yaitali kuti akuuzeni malangizo omwe angapereke kwa achinyamata omwe angokwatirana kumene owathandiza kuti banja lawo liziyenda bwino.​—Miyambo 27:17.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

M’banja limene limayenda bwino, mwamuna ndi mkazi wake amaonana ngati munthu ndi mnzake. Amalankhulana bwino, amapeza njira yabwino yothetsera mavuto awo komanso amadziwa kuti adzakhala limodzi monga banja mpaka kalekale.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Chizolowezi chimene ndikufunika kuyesetsa kusintha kuti ndikadzalowa m’banja ndizidzakhala bwinobwino ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanga ndi ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pa nkhaniyi ․․․․․

KODI INUYO MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

● Kodi mukuganiza kuti n’chifukwa chiyani m’mayiko ena mabanja ambiri amatha?

● Kodi kukwatira kapena kukwatiwa chifukwa chothawa mavuto apakhomo pa makolo kuli ndi mavuto otani?

● Kodi mukadzakwatira n’chifukwa chiyani ndi bwino kudzayesetsa kumatsatira mfundo za m’Baibulo m’banja lanulo?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 220]

“Kulowa m’banja ndi nkhani yaikulu. Simukuyenera kungodziwa kuti banja limayenda bwanji, koma muyeneranso kudziwana bwino ndi munthu amene mukulowa naye m’banjayo.”​—Anatero Audra

[Bokosi/​Chithunzi patsamba 216, 217]

Zoti Muchite

Kodi Ndinu Wokonzeka Kulowa M’banja?

Yankhani mafunso otsatirawa. Mukhozanso kugwiritsa ntchito mafunsowa pokambirana ndi munthu amene mukufuna kudzakwatirana naye. Yesetsani kuwerenga malemba amene asonyezedwawo.

Nkhani za Ndalama

◻ Kodi mumaona bwanji ndalama?​—Aheberi 13:5, 6.

◻ Kodi mumasonyeza bwanji kuti mumaona ndalama moyenera?​—Mateyu 6:19-21.

◻ Kodi panopa muli ndi ngongole? Ngati muli nazo, kodi mukuchita chiyani kuti mubweze ngongoleyo?​—Miyambo 22:7.

◻ Kodi mudzagwiritsa ntchito ndalama zingati pa ukwati wanu? Kodi mungalole kubwereka ndalama zochuluka bwanji kuti mudzagwiritse ntchito pa ukwati wanu?​—Luka 14:28.

◻ Mukadzakwatirana, kodi nonse mudzafunika kugwira ntchito? Ngati ndi choncho, kodi muzidzatani kuti muzidzakhala ndi nthawi ina yochitira zinthu limodzi, nanga muzidzayenda bwanji popita kuntchitoko?​—Miyambo 15:22.

◻ Kodi muzidzakhala kuti? Kodi mukuganiza kuti zinthu monga lendi, chakudya, zovala ndiponso zinthu zina zizidzafuna ndalama zochuluka bwanji, nanga muzidzalipira bwanji zinthu zonsezo?​—Miyambo 24:27.

Nkhani za Banja

◻ Kodi mumachita bwanji zinthu ndi makolo anu komanso abale anu?​—Ekisodo 20:12; Aroma 12:18.

◻ Kodi mumatani mukasemphana maganizo ndi abale anu?​—Akolose 3:13.

◻ Ngati ndinu mtsikana, kodi mungasonyeze bwanji “mzimu wabata ndi wofatsa”?​—1 Petulo 3:4.

◻ Kodi mukufuna kudzakhala ndi ana? (Salimo 127:3) Ngati ayi, kodi muzidzagwiritsira ntchito njira iti ya kulera?

◻ Ngati ndinu mnyamata, kodi muzidzatsogolera bwanji banja lanu mwauzimu?​—Mateyu 5:3.

Makhalidwe

◻ Kodi mumasonyeza bwanji kuti ndinu munthu wolimbikira ntchito?​—Miyambo 6:9-11; 31:17, 19, 21, 22, 27.

◻ Kodi mumasonyeza bwanji mtima wololera kuvutikira ena?​—Afilipi 2:4.

◻ Ngati ndinu mnyamata, kodi mumasonyeza bwanji kuti mukhoza kutsogolera zinthu moyenera ngati mmene Khristu ankachitira?​—Aefeso 5:25, 28, 29.

◻ Ngati ndinu mtsikana, kodi mumasonyeza bwanji kuti mungathe kugonjera ulamuliro?​—Aefeso 5:22-24.

[Chithunzi patsamba 219]

Musafulumire kulowa m’banja musanakonzeke. Kuchita zimenezi kuli ngati kudumphira m’madzi musakudziwa kuti m’madzimo muli chiyani