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Kodi Ndafika Poti N’kukhala ndi Chibwenzi?

Kodi Ndafika Poti N’kukhala ndi Chibwenzi?

 Mutu 1

Kodi Ndafika Poti N’kukhala ndi Chibwenzi?

“N’zovuta kwambiri kukhala wopanda chibwenzi, komanso masiku ano kuli tianyamata tambiri tooneka bwino.”—Anatero Whitney.

“Tiatsikana tina timachita kundifunsira tokha, ndipo n’zovuta kukana. Koma ndikudziwiratu zomwe makolo anga anganene nditawauza zimenezi.”—Anatero Phillip.

MAGANIZO ofuna kukhala ndi munthu winawake wapamtima amene ungamamukonde, komanso amene angamakukonde, angakhale amphamvu kwambiri ngakhale uli wamng’ono. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Jenifer anati: “Ndinayamba kufuna kwambiri kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndili ndi zaka 11.” Mtsikana winanso dzina lake Brittany anati: “Kusukulu, umadzimva wotsalira ngati ulibe chibwenzi. Kaya munthuyo akhale wotani, bola chibwenzi basi.”

Nanga bwanji inuyo? Kodi mwafika poti n’kukhala ndi chibwenzi?  Kuti mudziwe yankho la funso limeneli, choyamba tiyeni tikambirane funso lofunika kwambiri ili:

Kodi “Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi” N’kutani?

Chongani yankho lanu pamafunso otsatirawa:

Mumakonda kuyenda ndi winawake amene si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu. Kodi ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi?

□ Inde

□ Ayi

Mwakopeka ndi munthu winawake amene si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu ndipo kangapo patsiku, mumalankhulana kapena kutumizirana mauthenga pafoni. Kodi ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi?

□ Inde

□ Ayi

Nthawi zonse mukakhala pagulu ndi anzanu, mumakhala pamodzi ndi munthu yemweyemweyo, koma si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu. Kodi ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi?

□ Inde

□ Ayi

N’zosakayikitsa kuti simunavutike kuyankha funso loyambalo, koma mwina munaganizira kaye mozama musanayankhe mafunso enawo. Kodi kukhala ndi chibwenzi n’kutani kwenikweni? Kukhala ndi chibwenzi kumatanthauza kucheza m’njira ina iliyonse ndi munthu mmodzi amene mwakopeka naye ndipo nayenso wakopeka nanu. Choncho yankho la mafunso onse atatu amene ali pamwambawa ndi lakuti inde. Ngati mumalankhulana nthawi zonse, kaya pafoni kapena pamasom’pamaso, kaya poyera kapena mobisa, ndipo inuyo ndi mnzanuyo mumadziwa kuti mumakondana m’njira yodziwa awirinu, ndiye kuti muli pachibwenzi. Koma kodi mwafika poti n’kuchita zimenezi? Kuganizira mafunso atatu otsatirawa kungakuthandizeni kupeza yankho la funsoli.

N’chifukwa Chiyani Mukufuna Kukhala ndi Chibwenzi?

M’madera ambiri anthu amaona kuti kukhala ndi chibwenzi ndi njira yovomerezeka yodziwirana bwino. Komatu cholinga chokhalira ndi chibwenzi chiyenera kukhala chabwino, chofuna kudziwana ngati ndinu anthu oyenerana kumanga banja.

N’zoona kuti anzanu ena angamachite zibwenzi alibe cholinga  chabwino. Mwinamwake amangosangalala kukhala ndi chibwenzi popanda cholinga chodzakwatirana. Ena amangoona chibwenzi chawocho ngati chinthu chinachake chodzitamira nacho, mwinanso ngati chikho chimene apambana pampikisano. Nthawi zambiri zibwenzi zotere sizichedwa kutha. Mtsikana wina, dzina lake Heather, anati: “Achinyamata ambiri amene amakhala ndi zibwenzi amathetsa zibwenzizo pakangotha mlungu umodzi kapena iwiri. Motero amayamba kuona chibwenzi ngati chinthu chosakhalitsa, ndipo tingati zimenezi zimawapangitsa kukhala ndi mtima wofuna kudzathetsa banja m’tsogolo, osati mtima wofuna kukhala ndi banja lolimba.”

Dziwani kuti mukakhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu, maganizo ake onse amakhala pa inuyo. Choncho, onetsetsani kuti muli ndi cholinga chabwino mukamayamba chibwenzi. Taganizirani izi: Kodi mungamve bwanji munthu wina ataseweretsa maganizo anu ngati chidole choseweretsa ana? Mtsikana wina dzina lake Chelsea anati: “Nthawi zina ndimaganiza kuti anthu ayenera kuchita chibwenzi pofuna kungosangalala. Koma sizoona chifukwa mnzanuyo amazitenga kuti n’zenizeni.”

Kodi Mwafika Zaka Zoti Mungakhale ndi Chibwenzi?

Kodi mukuganiza kuti wachinyamata angakhale ndi chibwenzi ali ndi zaka zingati? ․․․․․

Ndiyeno funsani bambo kapena mayi anu kapenanso onse pamodzi, kenaka lembani zimene akuyankheni. ․․․․․

N’zosakayikitsa kuti zaka zimene inuyo munalemba n’zochepa kusiyana ndi zaka zimene makolo anu atchula. Kapena mwina sizinasiyane kwenikweni. Mwina muli m’gulu la achinyamata ambiri anzeru amene akudikira kuti adzakhale ndi chibwenzi akadzakula n’kufika podzidziwa bwinobwino. Izi n’zimene mtsikana wina wazaka  17, dzina lake Danielle, anaganiza kuchita. Iye anati: “Ndikakumbukira za mmene ndinkaganizira zaka ziwiri zapitazo ndimaona kuti zinthu zimene ndikanakonda mwa mwamuna woti ndikwatirane naye, n’zosiyana ndi zimene ndingakonde panopo. Ngakhale panopo sindikukhulupirira kuti ndingathe kusankha bwino pankhani imeneyi. Ndikadzafika poona kuti ndasiya kusinthasintha maganizo kwazaka zingapo, m’pamene ndidzayambe kuganiza zokhala pachibwenzi.”

Kudikira n’kwabwino pachifukwa chinanso. Baibulo limatchula mawu oti ‘chimake cha unyamata’ pofotokoza nthawi imene chilakolako cha kugonana chimayamba kukhala champhamvu kwambiri. (1 Akorinto 7:36) Panthawi imeneyi, kumangocheza ndi munthu mmodzimodzi amene si mnyamata kapena mtsikana mnzanu kukhoza kukolezera chilakolako chimenechi mpaka kuchita tchimo. N’zoona kuti anzanu ena sangaone vuto lina lililonse kuchita zimenezi. Ambiri mwa iwo amafunitsitsa atagonana ndi munthu wina n’cholinga choti adziwe kuti zimakhala bwanji anthu akamagonana. Koma mukhoza kupewa maganizo amenewa. (Aroma 12:2) Ndipotu, Baibulo limakulimbikitsani kuti: “Thawani dama.” (1 Akorinto 6:18) Mukadikira mpaka kudutsa pachimake paunyamata, mukhoza kupewa “zoipa.”—Mlaliki 11:10.

Kodi Mwafika Poti N’kulowa M’banja?

Kuti muthe kuyankha funso limeneli, muyenera kuyamba mwadzidziwa bwino. Taganizirani izi:

Mmene mumachitira zinthu ndi achibale anu. Kodi makolo anu ndiponso achibale anu mumakhala nawo bwanji? Kodi mumakonda kuwakwiyira, mwina kuwalankhula mawu okhadzula kapena achipongwe kuti amvetse mfundo yanu? Kodi iwowo anganene  chiyani za inu pankhaniyi? Mmene mumachitira zinthu ndi achibale anu ndi mmenenso muzidzachitira zinthu ndi mwamuna kapena mkazi wanu.—Werengani Aefeso 4:31.

Khalidwe lanu. Zinthu zikavuta, kodi mumataya mtima mwamsanga? Kodi ndinu wololera, kapena ndinu womva zanu zokha? Kodi mumatha kuchita zinthu moyenerera mukapanikizika? Kodi ndinu woleza mtima? Mukamayesetsa kukhala ndi zipatso za mzimu wa Mulungu panopa, zidzakuthandizani kukhala mwamuna kapena mkazi wabwino m’tsogolo.—Werengani Agalatiya 5:22, 23.

Ndalama. Kodi mumatha kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama? Kodi mumakhala ndi ngongole nthawi zonse? Kodi mungathe kukhalitsa pantchito? Ngati simungathe, n’chifukwa chiyani? Kodi n’chifukwa cha ntchitoyo kapena bwana wanu? Kapena n’chifukwa cha khalidwe linalake loipa limene muyenera kusintha? Ngati simutha kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama pamene muli nokha, kodi mungadzakwanitse bwanji kugwiritsa ntchito bwino ndalama m’banja lanu?—Werengani 1 Timoteyo 5:8.

Moyo wauzimu. Ngati ndinu wa Mboni za Yehova, kodi muli ndi makhalidwe otani auzimu? Kodi mumayesetsa panokha kuwerenga Mawu a Mulungu, kuchita utumiki, ndi kutenga nawo mbali pamisonkhano yachikhristu? M’pofunika kuti mukhale munthu wolimba mwauzimu, chifukwa chakuti munthu yemwe mungadzamange naye banja adzafunika munthu woteroyo.—Werengani Mlaliki 4:9, 10.

 Zimene Mungachite

Kukakamizika kukhala ndi chibwenzi musanakonzekere, kuli ngati kukukakamizani kulemba mayeso omaliza a maphunziro enaake omwe mwangoyamba kumene kuphunzira. N’zodziwikiratu kuti zimenezi sizingakusangalatseni. Mungafunike kuphunzira mokwanira kuti mudziwe bwino zinthu zimene zingadzabwere pa mayesowo.

N’chimodzimodzi ndi kukhala pachibwenzi. Monga mmene taonera, kukhala pachibwenzi si nkhani yamasewera. Choncho, musanayambe kuganiza zopeza chibwenzi, muyenera kuphunzira kaye zinthu zofunika kwambiri. Muyenera kuphunzira zimene mungachite kuti muzigwirizana bwino ndi anthu. Zimenezi zingakuthandizeni kuti pamene mwapeza munthu woyenera, chibwenzi chanu chidzayende bwino kwambiri. Ndipotu, kuti anthu akhale ndi ukwati wabwino amafunika kukhala mabwenzi abwino.

 Kudikira kaye musanakhale pachibwenzi, sikuti kumakupherani ufulu. M’malo mwake kumakupatsani ufulu wambiri woti ‘mukondwere ndi unyamata wanu.’ (Mlaliki 11:9) Ndipo mumakhala ndi nthawi yosintha kuti mukhale munthu wabwino ndiponso kuti moyo wanu wauzimu, womwe ndi wofunika kwambiri, ukhale wolimba.—Maliro 3:27.

Pakalipano, mungasangalale kucheza ndi anyamata kapena atsikana osiyanasiyana. Kodi mungacheze nawo motani? Mungacheze nawo pagulu loyang’aniridwa bwino la anthu amisinkhu yosiyanasiyana. Mtsikana wina dzina lake Tammy anati: “Ndimaona kuti kucheza pagulu n’kosangalatsa kwambiri. Zimakhala bwino kukhala ndi anzako ambiri.” Monica nayenso anavomereza kuti: “Kucheza pagulu n’kwabwino kwambiri chifukwa mumatha kudziwana ndi anthu amakhalidwe osiyanasiyana.”

Koma ngati muyamba mudakali wamng’ono kumangocheza ndi munthu mmodzimodzi, mukhoza kudzanong’oneza bondo m’tsogolo. Choncho, fatsani kaye. Gwiritsani ntchito nthawi imeneyi kuphunzira mmene mungakhalire ndi mabwenzi abwino nthawi yaitali. Ndiyeno mukadzayamba kuganiza zokhala ndi chibwenzi, mudzakhala mutadzidziwa bwino ndiponso mutadziwa bwino makhalidwe amene mungafune mwa munthu amene mudzakwatirane naye.

WERENGANI ZAMBIRI PANKHANIYI M’BUKU LOYAMBA, MUTU 29 NDI 30

M’MUTU WOTSATIRA

Kodi mukuganiza zoyamba chibwenzi mobisa n’cholinga choti makolo anu asadziwe? Kuchita zimenezi kungakubweretsereni mavuto ambiri kuposa mmene mungaganizire.

LEMBA LOFUNIKA

Wochenjera asamalira mayendedwe ake.Miyambo 14:15.

MFUNDO YOTHANDIZA

Kuti mukonzekere kukhala pachibwenzi komanso kulowa m’banja, werengani 2 Petulo 1:5-7 ndipo sankhani khalidwe limodzi limene mukufuna kuyesetsa kukhala nalo. Pakatha mwezi umodzi, onani zimene mwaphunzira za khalidwelo ndiponso zimene mwachita kuti mukhale nalo.

KODI MUKUDZIWA . . . ?

Kafukufuku wosiyanasiyana akusonyeza kuti anthu ambiri amene amalowa m’banja asanakwanitse zaka 20 zakubadwa, banja lawo limatha pasanapite zaka zisanu.

ZOTI NDICHITE

Pokonzekera kulowa m’banja, ndiyenera kuyesetsa kukhala ndi makhalidwe awa: ․․․․․

Ndingayesetse kukhala nawo mwa kuchita izi: ․․․․․

Zimene ndikufuna kufunsa makolo anga pankhaniyi ndi izi: ․․․․․

MUKUGANIZA BWANJI?

Kodi ndi pamalo kapena pazochitika zotani pamene mungacheze moyenera ndi anthu amene si anyamata kapena atsikana anzanu?

Kodi mungathandize bwanji m’bale wanu amene akufuna kuyamba chibwenzi adakali wamng’ono kwambiri?

Ngati muli pachibwenzi koma mulibe cholinga chokwatirana, kodi zimenezo zingasokoneze motani maganizo a mnzanuyo?

[Mawu Otsindika patsamba 18]

“Ndikuganiza kuti munthu uyenera kukhala pachibwenzi ndi munthu yemwe umam’kondadi ndipo umaona kuti awirinu mungadzakhale ndi tsogolo labwino. Uyenera kukonda munthuyo osati kungofuna kukhala pachibwenzi.”​—Anatero Amber

[Chithunzi pamasamba 16, 17]

Mukakhala pachibwenzi popanda cholinga chokwatirana, mumafanana ndi mwana yemwe amaseweretsa chidole chake chatsopano kenako n’kuchitaya