Dlulela kokumunyethweko

Dlulela erhelweni leenhloko

AboFakazi BakaJehova

Khetha ilimi IsiNdebele

 ISAHLUKO 10

Marriage​—A Gift From a Loving God

Marriage​—A Gift From a Loving God

“Intambo emiqu mithathu angekhe irathuke msinyana.”—UMTJHUMAYELI 4:12.

1, 2. (a) Malungana neemtjhado emitjha, khuyini ngezinye iinkhathi okungenzeka sizibuze yona, begodu kubayini? (b) Ngimiphi iimbuzo esizokucoca ngayo esahlukwenesi?

UYAKUTHABELA ukuya emtjhadweni? Abanengi bayakuthabela, ngombana umnyanya onjalo ungaba ngothabisa khulu. Ubona abatjhadi bakarisa khulu. Ingasi lokho kwaphela, babonakala bathabile! Mhlokho, boke bayamomotheka, begodu ingomuso labo lizele amathemba.

2 Namtjhana kunjalo, kufuze kuvunywe bona ngeendlela ezinengi imitjhado isemrarweni namhlanjesi. Namtjhana sibafisela okuhle labo abatjhadako, ngezinye iinkhathi kungenzeka sizibuze: ‘Umtjhado lo uzokuba nethabo? Uzokuhlala isikhathi eside?’ Iimpendulo zeembuzo le zizokuyama ekutheni indoda nomfazi bayasithemba begodu bayasiberegisa isiluleko sakaZimu emtjhadweni. (Funda Izaga 3:5, 6) Kufuze benze njalo bona bahlale ethandweni lakaZimu. Kwanje akhe siqale iimpendulo zeBhayibhili zeembuzo emine le: Ngimaphi amabanga enza umuntu atjhade? Nengabe ngiyatjhada, ngubani okufuze ngimkhethe njengomlingani womtjhado? Ngingawubhincela njani umtjhado? Khuyini engarhelebha abatjhadi bahlale bathabile emtjhadwenabo?

NGIMAPHI AMABANGA AMAHLE WOKUTJHADA?

3. Kubayini ngeze kwaba kuhlakanipha ukutjhada ngamabanga angazwakaliko?

3 Abanye bakholelwa bona umtjhado uqakathekile bonyana  umuntu athabe—bathi angeze wafumana ukwaneliseka namtjhana ithabo ekuphileni ngaphandle kobana ufumane umlingani womtjhado. Lokho akusilo iqiniso! UJesu, indoda engakatjhadi, wakhuluma ngokungatjhadi njengesipho begodu wakhuthaza labo okungenzeka bakghone ukwenza njalo. (Matewu 19:11, 12) Umpostoli uPowula naye wakhuluma ngeenzuzo zokungatjhadi. (1 KwebeKorinte 7:32-38) UJesu noPowula akhenge babeke umthetho malungana nokungatjhadi; eqinisweni, ‘abalela abanye bona batjhade’ izinto ezinjalo zibalwa hlangana “neemfundiso zamadimoni.” (1 KuThimothi 4:1-3) Namtjhana kunjalo, ukungatjhadi kubanikela ithuba labo abafuna ukukhonza uJehova ngaphandle kokuthikaziseka. Ngalokho, ngeze kwaba kuhlakanipha, ukutjhada ngamabanga angazwakaliko, njengokugandelelwa bangani.

4. Umtjhado ophumelelako ubeka siphi isisekelo ekukhuliseni abantwana?

4 Ngakelinye ihlangothi, akhona na amabanga azwakalako wokutjhada? Iye, akhona. Umtjhado nawo sisipho esivela kuZimethu onethando. (Funda UGenesisi 2:18) Ngalokho uneenzuzo ezithileko begodu ungaletha neembusiso. Isibonelo, umtjhado ophumelelako usisekelo esihle sokuphila komndeni. Abantwana batlhoga indawo enzinzileko bona ababelethi babakhulise, babanikele ithando, isiyalo, nesinqophiso. (AmaRhalani 127:3; Kwebe-Efesu 6:1-4) Nokho, ukukhulisa abantwana akusilo kwaphela ibanga lokutjhada.

5, 6. (a) NgokukaMtjhumayeli 4:9-12, ngiziphi ezinye iinzuzo zamambala zobungani obutjhideleneko? (b) Umtjhado ungaba njani njengentambo emiqu mithathu?

5 Cabangela umtlolo osihloko esahlukwenesi nalokho okumumetheko: “Ababili babhedere kunoyedwa, ngombana banomvuzo omuhle ngomsebenzi wabo obudisi. Nengabe omunye wabo uyawa, omunye angakghona ukumvusa. Kodwana kuzokuba njani nengabe omunye uyawa kungekho omvusako? Nokho, nengabe ababili balele ndawonye, bayafuthumala; kodwana oyedwa angafuthumala njani? Nengabe omunye angahlula oyedwa, ababili bangakghona ukujamelana  naye. Intambo emiqu mithathu angekhe irathuke msinyana.”—UMtjhumayeli 4:9-12.

6 Ngokuyihloko umtlolo lo ukhuluma ngokuqakatheka kobungani. Kwamambala, umtjhado ubandakanya ubungani obutjhidelene khulu. Njengombana umtlolo lo utjengisa, ukutjhidelana okunjalo kungaba yirhelebho, induduzo nesivikelo. Umtjhado uqina khulu nengabe ungaphezu kwesibopho sabantu ababili kwaphela. Intambo emiqu mbili, njengombana indima le itjho, ingarathuka phakathi. Kodwana intambo emiqu mithathu enghadiweko kungaba budisi bona uyirathule. Nengabe ukuthabisa uJehova kuqathekile endodeni nemfazini, umtjhadwabo ufana nentambo emiqu mithathu. UJehova uba nendima eqakathekileko emtjhadweni loyo, ngalokho umtjhado uqina kwamambala.

7, 8. (a) Ngisiphi isiluleko uPowula asitlolela amaKrestu angakatjhadi alwa neenkanuko zomseme? (b) IBhayibhili isinikela muphi umbono wamambala malungana nomtjhado?

7 Umtjhado kuphela kwendawo lapho iinkanuko zomseme zinganeliswa khona ngendlela efaneleko. Emtjhadweni, ubuhlobo bomseme buqalwa njengomthombo wethabo. (Izaga 5:18) Nengabe umuntu ongakatjhadi udlulile kilokho okubizwa ngokobana ziinkanuko zobutjha—lapho iinkanuko zomseme ziba namandla khulu—kungenzeka usalwa neenkanuko zomseme. Nezingalawulwako, iimfiso ezinjalo zingadosela emikghweni esilapheleko namtjhana ukuziphatha kumbi. UPowula waphefumulelwa bona atlolele abantu abangakatjhadi isinqophiswesi: “Kodwana nengabe bahlulwa mizimba yabo, kungcono batjhade kunobanyana batjhiswe yikanuko.”—1 KwebeKorinte 7:9, 36; KaJakobosi 1:15.

8 Namtjhana ngimaphi amabanga enza bona umuntu atjhade, kuhle ukuqalana namaqiniso. Njengombana uPowula atjho, labo abatjhadako bazokuba ‘neenkathazo.’ (1 KwebeKorinte 7:28) Abantu abatjhadileko baqalana nobudisi lobo abantu abangakatjhadi abangekhe baqalane nabo. Nokho, nengabe ukhetha ukutjhada, ungayinciphisa njani iimraro begodu  wandise iimbusiso? Enye indlela kukhetha umngani womtjhado ngokuhlakanipha.

NGUBANI ONGABA MNGANI WOMTJHADO OFANELEKO?

9, 10. (a) UPowula wabufanisa njani ubungozi bokwakha ubungani obuseduze nabangakholwako? (b) Kanengi iba yini imiphumela yokutjhalazelela isiluleko sakaZimu sokutjhada nongakholwako?

9 UPowula waphefumulelwa bona atlole ikambisolawulo eqakathekileko leyo ekufuze iberegiswe nekukhethwa umngani womtjhado: “Ningabotjhelwa ejogini linye nabangakholwako.” (2 KwebeKorinte 6:14, NW) Umfanekiswakhe gade usekelwe ekulimeni. Nengabe iinlwana eembili ezingalinganiko ngobukhulu zipanwe ndawonye, zombili zizokudosa emhlweni. Ngokufanako, ukubotjhelwa ndawonye ngomtjhado, kokholwako nongakholwako ngokunganakuzaza bazokuba nokungavumelani nobudisi. Nengabe omunye umngani womtjhado ufuna ukuhlala ethandweni lakaJehova begodu omunye akukhathalela kancani namtjhana angakukhathaleli lokho, izinto eziza qangi ekuphileni kwabo angekhe zifane, begodu kuzokuba namatlhuwo. UPowula wakhuthaza amaKrestu bona atjhade “eKosini kwaphela.”—1 KwebeKorinte 7:39NW.

10 Ngezinye iinkhathi, amaKrestu angakatjhadi afika esiquntweni sokobana ukubotjhelwa ejogini nongakholwako kuzokuba bhedere kunesizungu aqalene naso nje. Abanye bakhetha ukusitjhalazelela isiluleko seBhayibhili, batjhada nomuntu ongamkhonziko uJehova. Esikhathini esinengi, umphumela uba ngodanisako. Abantu abanjalo batjhada nomuntu engekhe bahlanganyela naye izinto eziqakatheke khulu ekuphileni. Isizungu ababa naso singaba sikhulu kunaleso ebebanaso ngaphambi kobana batjhade. Ngokuthabisako, kuneenkulungwana ezinengi zamaKrestu angakatjhadi asithembako isiluleko sakaZimu endabeni le. (Funda AmaRhalani 32:8) Namtjhana athemba bona azokutjhada langelinye, ahlala angakatjhadi bekube kulapho afumana umlingani hlangana nabakhulekeli bakaJehova uZimu.

11. Khuyini engakurhelebha ekukhetheni umngani womtjhado ngokuhlakanipha? (Qala godu ibhoksi elithi, “ Khuyini Engiyifunako Kumlingani Womtjhado?”)

 11 Yiqiniso, akusizo zoke iinceku zakaJehova ngokuzenzakalelako ezingaba mngani womtjhado ofaneleko. Newucabangela ukutjhada, qala umuntu ubuntu bakhe, iminqopho yakhe engokomoya nethando lakhe ngoZimu ezifana nezakho. Isigaba senceku ethembekileko sigadangise iincwadi ezinengi ngesihlokwesi, begodu uzabe wenza kuhle ngokucabangela isiluleko esinjalo soMtlolo ngomthandazo, usivumele sikunqophise ekwenzeni isiqunto esiqakathekilekwesi. *Funda AmaRhalani 119:105.

12. Ngimaphi amasiko enziwako eenarheni ezinengi malungana nomtjhado, begodu ngisiphi isibonelo seBhayibhili esinikela isinqophiso?

12 Eenarheni ezinengi, kulisiko bona ababelethi bakhethele abantwababo abalingani. Kujayelekile emasikweni la bona ababelethi bahlakaniphile begodu banelemuko efunekako ekwenzeni ukukhetha okuqakathekilekokhu. Imitjhado ehleliweko esikhathini esinengi iyaphumelela, njengombana bekunjalo eenkhathini zeBhayibhili. Isibonelo saka-Abrahama sokuthumela incekwakhe bona iyokufunela u-Isaka umfazi sirhelebha ababelethi abangaba sebujamweni obufanako namhlanjesi. Imali nobujamo obuhle emphakathini bekungasizo izinto u-Abrahama egade aziqalileko. Kunalokho, wenza umzamo omkhulu ukufumanela u-Isaka umfazi hlangana nabakhulekeli bakaJehova. *Genesisi 24:3, 67.

UNGAWUBHINCELA NJANI UMTJHADO OPHUMELELAKO?

13-15. (a) Ikambisolawulo efumaneka kuZaga 24:27 ilirhelebha njani isokana elicabangela ukutjhada? (b) Intombi ingawubhincela njani umtjhado?

13 Nengabe ucabanga ngokutjhada, wenza kuhle ngokuzibuza, ‘Kwamambala ngikulungele ukutjhada?’ Ipendulo  ayikayami kwaphela emazizwenakho ngethando, ubuhlobo bomseme, ubungani namtjhana ukukhulisa abantwana. Kunalokho, kuneminqopho ethileko leyo indoda namtjhana umfazi wengomuso okufuze acabange ngayo.

14 Isokana elifuna umfazi kufuze licabangisise malungana nekambisolawulo le: “Lungisa umsebenzakho ngaphandle, uzilungisele wona esimini. Ngemva kwalokho wakhe indlwakho godu.” (Izaga 24:27) Lokhu kugandelela liphi iphuzu? Ngeenkhathezo nengabe indoda ifuna ‘ukwakha indlwayo,’ namtjhana ukuthoma umndeni ngokutjhada, bekufuze izibuze, ‘Ngikulungele ukutjheja nokondla umfazi nabantwana okungenzeka babe khona?’ Bekufuze ithome iberege, itlhogomele amasimayo, namtjhana iintjalo. Ikambisolawulo efanako iyaberega nanamhlanjesi. Indoda efuna ukutjhada kufuze ikulungele ukuthwala umthwalo. Nengabe iphilile emzimbeni, kufuze iberege. ILizwi lakaZimu lithi indoda engazitjhejiko iinthlogo ezingokwenyama, ezingokomoya namazizo womndenayo yimbi khulu ukudlula engakholwako!—Funda 1 KuThimothi 5:8.

15 Ngokufanako umfazi okhetha ukutjhada uvuma ukuthwala iimthwalo ebudisi. IBhayibhili ibuka amanye amakghono neemfanelo lezo umfazi okungenzeka azitlhoge njengombana arhelebha indodakhe begodu atlhogomela nomndenakhe. (Izaga 31:10-31) Indoda nomfazi abarhabela ukutjhada ngaphandle kokulungela ukuthwala umthwala obandakanyekileko bamarhamaru, babhalelwa kucabanga bona khuyini abangayenzela umlingani wengomuso. Nokho, okuqakatheke khulu, labo abacabangela ukutjhada kufuze baberegise iinkambisolawulo zakaZimu emtjhadwenabo.

16, 17. Labo ababhincela ukutjhada kufuze bacabange ngaziphi iinkambisolawulo zoMtlolo?

16 Ukubhincela umtjhado kubandakanya ukuzindla ngendima uZimu ayabele indoda nomfazi. Indoda kufuze yazi  bona kutjho ukuthini ukuba yihloko yomndeni wamaKrestu. Indima le akusiyo ilayisensi yokuba ngulizwi lakhe. Kunalokho, kufuze ilingise indlela uJesu abuberegisa ngayo ubuhloko. (Kwebe-Efesu 5:23) Ngokufanako, umfazi omKrestu kufuze azi indima ehloniphekileko yomfazi. Uzozimisela na ukuthobela “umthetho wendodakhe.”? (KwebeRoma 7:2, NW) Selangaphasi komthetho kaJehova noKrestu. (KwebeGalatiya 6:2) Igunya lendodakhe emndenini litjho omunye umthetho. Uzokwazi na ukusekela nokuthobela igunya lendoda engakapheleli? Nengabe akakuthandi lokho, uzabe wenza kuhle ngokungatjhadi.

17 Ukuragela phambili, umlingani ngamunye kufuze akulungele ukutlhogomela iintlhogo ezikhethekileko zomunye. (Funda KwebeFilipi 2:4) UPowula watlola: “Ngokunjalo namadoda kufanele athande abafazi bawo njengombana athanda imizimba yawo, ngokunjalo nabafazi bathobele amadoda wabo ngakho koke.” Ngaphasi kokuphefumulelwa kwaphezulu, uPowula wabona bona indoda inefuneko ekhethekileko yokuzwa ihlonipho ekulu yomkayo. Nomfazi unefuneko ekhethekileko yokuzwa ithando lendodakhe.—Kwebe-Efesu 5:21-33.

Phakathi nokuthembisana, iinthandani ezinengi ngokuhlakanipha zihlela bona kube nomphekeleli

18. Kubayini abathandanako kufuze bafunde ukuzibamba nebathembiseneko?

18 Ukuthembisana, akusiso isikhathi sokudlala. Sikhathi sokobana indoda nomfazi bafunde bona bangaphathana njani nokubona bona ukutjhada kungaba kukhetha okuhlakaniphileko na. Godu sikhathi sokufunda ukuzibamba! Isilingo sokufuna ukutjhidelana ngokomzimba singaba namandla—ngaphezu kwalokho, ukukhanukelana kungokwemvelo. Nokho, labo abathandana kwamambala bazokubalekela ukwenza izinto ezingalimaza umuntu abamthandako ngokomoya. (1 KwebeTesalonika 4:6) Ngalokho newuthembiseneko, funda ukuzibamba; ungazuza efanelweni leyo ukuphila kwakho koke, utjhadile namtjhana ungakatjhadi.

 UNGAWENZA NJANI UMTJHADWAKHO UHLALE ISIKHATHI ESIDE?

19, 20. Umbono womKrestu ngomtjhado uhluke njani kowabanengi ephasini namhlanjesi? Tjengisa.

19 Nengabe isibili sifuna ukwenza umtjhado waso uhlale isikhathi eside, kufuze sibe nombono omuhle ngesibophweso. Eencwadini nemabhayisikobheni, kanengi umtjhado uba nesiphetho esithabisako abantu abasirhalelako. Epilweni yamambala umtjhado awusiso isiphetho; kodwana sithomo—kuthoma into uJehova ayiklamela bona ihlale. (Genesisi 2:24) Ngokudanisako, akusimbono ojayelekileko ephasini namhlanjesi. Kwamanye amasiko, abantu bakhuluma ngomtjhado “njengokubopha ifindo.” Kungenzeka bangatjheji bona isibonelweso sihlathulula umbono ojayelekileko ngomtjhado. Njani? Namtjhana ifindo elihle kufuze liqine ngho nengabe lisafuneka, enye ifuneko yalo kukobana lingabotjhwa begodu litjhatjhululwe bulula.

20 Abanengi namhlanjesi baqala umtjhado njengento yesikhatjhana. Bangena kiwo bawulungele khulu ngombana badlumbanyana uzokuzalisa iinthlogo zabo, kodwana balindele nokukghona ukuphuma msinyana nebabona ngasuthi kuba nobudisi. Nokho, khumbula isibonelo iBhayibhili esiberegisileko ngesibopho esinjengomtjhado—intambo. Iintambo nofana iinrobho ezenzelwe isikepe zenzelwe bona zihlale isikhathi eside, zingararuluki nanyana kungaba nesiwuruwuru esikhulu. Ngokufanako, umtjhado wenzelwe bona uhlale isikhathi eside. Khumbula, uJesu wathi: “Umuntu akangakuhlukanisi okuhlanganiswe nguZimu.” (Matewu 19:6) Nengabe uyatjhada, kufuze ube nombono ofanako ngomtjhado. Isibopho esinjalo senza bona umtjhado ube mthwalo? Awa.

21. Indoda nomfazi kufuze babe namuphi umbono ngomunye nomunye, begodu khuyini engabarhelebha bona benze njalo?

21 Indoda nomfazi kufuze babulunge umbono omuhle ngomunye nomunye. Nengabe umuntu ngamunye ulwela ukuqala iimfanelo ezihle nemizamo yomunye, umtjhado ungaba mthombo wethabo nokuqabuleka. Kutjhalazelela  amaqiniso ukuba nombono onjalo ngomlingani ongakapheleli? UJehova akwenzeki atjhalazelele amaqiniso, ngalokho singathembela kuye bona uzokuba nombono omuhle ngathi. Umrhubi wabuza: “Sokulunga, ingathana wena bewubulunga umlando wezono, ngubani obegade angaqalana nawe, Kosi, na?” (AmaRhalani 130:3) Amadoda nabafazi kufuze babe nombono omuhle begodu balibalelane.—Funda KwebeKholose 3:13.

22, 23. U-Abrahama noSara bababekela njani isibonelo esihle abantu abatjhadileko namhlanjesi?

 22 Umtjhado ungaba sibusiso esikhulu njengombana ukghodlhelela iimnyaka eminengi. IBhayibhili isitjela ngomtjhado ka-Abrahama noSara nesele basibili esikhulileko. Ukuphila kwabo bekungasikho okunganabo ubudisi neemraro. Cabanga bona bekunjani ngoSara, umfazi okungenzeka gade sele aneemnyaka ema-60, ukutjhiya ikhaya lakhe elihle edorobheni elinothileko le-Uri begodu wayokuhlala ematendeni ipilo yakhe yoke. Nokho, wazithoba ngaphasi kobuhloko bendodakhe. Umphelelisi wamambala nomrhelebhi ka-Abrahama, gade amrhelebha ngehlonipho ukwenza iinqunto zakhe bona ziphumelele. Ukuzithoba kwakhe bekungasikho kokuzenzisa. Ngitjho “ngaphakathi,” bekambiza bona yikosi yakhe. (Genesisi 18:12; 1 KaPitrosi 3:6) Ihlonipho yakhe ngo-Abrahama beyivela ehliziyweni.

23 Eqinisweni, lokho akutjho bona u-Abrahama noSara bebahlala babona izinto ngendlela efanako. USara wakhe watjho umbono “obewungathandeki” ku-Abrahama. Namtjhana kunjalo, ngesinqophiso sakaJehova u-Abrahama ngokuzithoba walalela ilizwi lomkakhe, elaphetha ngokuletha iimbusiso emndenini. (Genesisi 21:9-13) Namhlanjesi amadoda nabafazi, ngitjho nalabo esele baneemnyaka eminengi batjhadile, bangafunda okunengi kusibili esisaba uZimesi.

24. Mitjhado enjani edumisa uJehova uZimu, begodu kubayini kunjalo?

24 Ebandleni lobuKrestu, kuneenkulungwana ezinengi zeemtjhado ethabileko—iimtjhado lapho umfazi anehlonipho ekulu ngendodakhe, indoda ethanda begodu idumise umkayo, bobabili baberega ndawonye bona benze intando kaJehova ize qangi kizo zoke izinto. Nengabe ukhetha ukutjhada, kwanga ungakhetha umlingani ngokuhlakanipha, uwubhincele kuhle umtjhado, begodu wenze umtjhado onokuthula, nethando oletha idumo kuJehova uZimu. Ebujamwenobo, umtjhadwakho uzokurhelebha kwamambala bona uhlale ethandweni lakaZimu.

^ isig. 11 Qala isahluko-2 sencwadi ethi Imfihlo Yenjabulo Yomkhaya, (efumaneka ngesiZulu) egadangiswe boFakazi bakaJehova.

^ isig. 12 Ezinye iinhloko zeemndeni ezithembekileko bezinabafazi abangaphezu koyedwa. UJehova nekaberegelana neenhloko zeemndeni nama-Israyeli, gade asivumela isithembu. Akhenge asithome, kodwana wasivumela. Nokho, amaKrestu ayazi bona isithembu asisavumeleki hlangana nabakhulekeli bakaJehova.—Matewu 19:9; 1 KuThimothi 3:2.