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Kuyini Okungakunceda Ukuthi Ubekezele?

Kuyini Okungakunceda Ukuthi Ubekezele?

“Nsukuzonke kuba lezimo ezenza kube lesidingo sokuthi indoda lomfazi babekezelelane. Ukubekezela kungakhanya kungaqakathekanga kangako nxa ungakatshadi, kodwa kwabatshadileyo kuqakathekile ngoba kuzabenza bathokoze.”—UJohn.

 Kungani kumele ubekezele?

  • Kulula kakhulu ukubona amaphutha omuntu otshade laye.

    “Nxa usulesikhathi esithile utshadile kulula ukuthi utshone usukhangela amaphutha omunye wakho. Lokho kungenza kube nzima ukuthi umbekezelele.”—UJessena.

  • Ukwehluleka ukubekezela kungenza ukhulume ungacabanganga.

    “Ngiyaphangisa ukukhuluma ukuthi ngizwa njani okokuthi kwesinye isikhathi ngicina sengizisola ngengiyabe ngikukhulumile. Aluba bengingumuntu obekezelayo bengizazibamba, hatshi ukuhle ngithi bhadla indlela engizizwa ngayo.”—UCarmen.

    IBhayibhili lithi: “Uthando luyabekezela njalo lulomusa.” (1 KwabaseKhorinte 13:4) Sandise ukukhangelela ukuthi abantu abathandanayo babekezelelane. Kodwa akujayelanga ukuba njalo. UJohn oke waqanjwa phezulu uthi: “Kunzima ukuba ngumuntu obekezelayo njengoba nje kunzima ukuba lezinye izimpawu zobuntu ezinhle. Yikho kumele sisebenze nzima ukuze sibe ngababekezelayo.”

 Ungatshengisa njani ukuthi uyabekezela?

  • Nxa kungenzakala into ekucaphulayo.

    Ngokwesibonelo: Nxa umkakho angakhuluma amazwi angakuphathi kuhle, kujayelekile ukuthi lawe uhle uphendule kubi.

    Isimiso esiseBhayibhilini: “Ungaphangisi ukufuthelana ngaphakathi, ngokuba ulaka luhlezi lugonwe yiziwula.”UmTshumayeli 7:9.

    Ungatshengisa njani ukuthi uyabekezela? Ungakaphenduli, zitshele ukuthi umkakho ubengahlosanga ukukuzwisa ubuhlungu. Ibhuku elithi Fighting for Your Marriage lithi okwandise ukucaphula abantu abanengi yindlela abathatha ngayo lokho okuyabe kukhulunywe ngumuntu abatshade laye hatshi lokho ayabe ekutshilo sibili.

    Lanxa kuyikuthi umkakho ubefuna ukukucaphula, ukubekezela kwakho kungenza ukuthi kungadaleki ingxabano. IBhayibhili lithi: “Nxa kungaselankuni umlilo uyacima.” —IZaga 26:20.

    “Nxa usubona inkosikazi yakho isiyisitha sakho, mana ucabange ukuthi kuyini okwenza wamthanda futhi uhle uzame ukumenzela okuthile okuhle masinyane.”—U-Ethan.

    Ongacabanga ngakho:

    • Ujayele ukwenzani nxa umkakho angakhuluma kumbe enze into ecaphulayo?

    • Ungatshengisa njani ukuthi uyabekezela nxa angaphinda into efananayo?

  • Nxa umkakho angaqhubeka ephinda into ecaphulayo.

    Ngokwesibonelo: Umkakho uhlala ephuzile, akwenze umlindele isikhathi eside uze ucaphuke.

    Isimiso esiseBhayibhilini: “Qhubekani libekezelelana futhi lithethelelana ngenhliziyo yonke.”—KwabaseKholose 3:13.

    Ungatshengisa njani ukuthi uyabekezela? Qakathekisa umtshado wakho ukwedlula indlela ozizwa ngayo. Zibuze, ‘Ukuvusa ingxabano ngento eyenziwe ngumkami, kuzawuqinisa yini umtshado wethu kumbe kuzawubhidliza?’ Khumbula lokuthi “sonke siyaphambanisa izikhathi ezinengi.” (UJakhobe 3:2) Lokhu kutsho ukuthi lawe uyawenza amaphutha.

    “Kwezinye izikhathi kulula ukubekezelela umngane wami ukwedlula umkami. Ngicabanga ukuthi lokhu kubangelwa yikuthi ngitshona lomkami futhi amaphutha akhe ngiyabe ngiwabona. Kodwa nxa ngibekezela, ngiyabe ngimtshengisa ukuthi ngiyamthanda futhi ngiyamhlonipha. Yikho ukubekezela kuqakatheke kakhulu emtshadweni wami.”—UNia.

    Ongacabanga ngakho:

    • Uyambekezelela yini umkakho nxa esenza amaphutha?

    • Ungenzani ukuze uthuthuke endabeni yokubekezela?