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OFakazi bakaJehova

Ndebele (Zimbabwe)

INqabayokulinda  |  January 2015

Kuyini Okungaqinisa Umtshado Wenu Kulenze Lithokoze?

Kuyini Okungaqinisa Umtshado Wenu Kulenze Lithokoze?

“Ngaphandle kokuba uJehova ayakhe indlu, abakhi bayo basebenzela ize.”HUBO. 127:1a.

1-3. Yiziphi izinhlupho ezihlasela abatshadileyo? (Khangela umfanekiso osekuqaliseni.)

ENYE indoda esileminyaka engu-38 itshadile njalo ithokoza emtshadweni wayo yathi: “Nxa lizama ngazo zonke izindlela njalo litshengisa ukuthi lifuna ukuthi umtshado wenu uphumelele, uJehova angalibusisa.” Lokhu kutshengisa ukuthi amadoda labomkawo bangaba lezikhathi ezimnandi njalo bangabambisana langezikhathi besebunzimeni.Zaga. 18:22.

2 Lanxa kunjalo, kujayelekile ukuthi abantu abatshadileyo babe ‘lezinhlupho ezinengi kulokhukuphila.’ (1 Khor. 7:28) Ngenxa yani? Izinhlupho zansuku zonke zingenza ukuthi kube lokungazwanani. Ulimi lwethu thina abantu abalesono lungenza ukuthi emtshadweni kube lokungazwisisani kumbe ukukhuluma ngendlela ezwisa omunye ubuhlungu njalo lokhu kungenzakala lasebantwini abathokozayo emtshadweni. (Jak. 3:2, 5, 8) Kanti njalo abanye kuyabanzimela ukuthi ngapha bayasebenza, ngapha banakekela abantwana. Ukukhathazeka kanye lokudinwa lakho kwenza ukuthi kubenzima kwabanye abatshadileyo ukuthi bazinike isikhathi sokuba ndawonye ukuze baqinise umtshado wabo. Izinhlupho zemali, impilakahle kanye lezinye nje izinhlupho zingenza  ukuthi uthando lwabo luqande lokuthi bacine bengasahloniphani. Okunye okungaxegisa umtshado oqinileyo ‘yizenzo zemvelo yesono,’ ngokwesibonelo ubufebe, ukuxhwala, inzondo, ukuxabana, umona, intukuthelo lokungavumelani.Gal. 5:19-21.

3 Okunye okwenza kube lezinhlupho emtshadweni yikuthi “ezinsukwini zokucina” esiphila kuzo kugcwele abantu abangelandaba lomunye umuntu njalo abangamesabiyo uNkulunkulu. (2 Tim. 3:1-4) Okokucina, emitshadweni yonke nje kuyabe kumele abatshadileyo balwisane lesitha esilomona esiyabe silokhu sibaphosela imitshoko elimazayo. Yikho umphostoli uPhetro esixwayisa esithi: “Isitha senu, uSathane, siyazulazula njengesilwane esibhongayo sidinga esingamudla.”1 Phet. 5:8; Isam. 12:12.

4. Kuyini okunganceda abantu abatshadileyo ukuthi bahlalisane kuhle njalo bathokoze?

4 Enye indoda yaseJapan ithi: “Ngangikhathazeke kakhulu ngendaba yemali. Umkami ngangingamcaciseli ukuthi izinto zimi njani, kwasekubangela ukuthi laye akhathazeke kakhulu okokuthi khathesi usehlala egulagula. Kwezinye izikhathi ukukhathazeka kwethu kwakusenza ukuthi sixabane.” Obunye ubunzima obubakhona emtshadweni asingeke sibubalekele kodwa singabunqoba. UJehova anganceda indoda lomkayo ukuthi babe lomtshado oqinileyo futhi bathokoze. (Bala iHubo 127:1.) Ake sixoxe ngezinto ezinhlanu esingazifanisa lezitina zokwakha ezinganceda ukuthi indoda lomkayo babe lomtshado oqinileyo njalo ongasoze udilike. Sizaxoxa langokuthi uthando lungasetshenziswa njani njengesamende sokuhlanganisa izitina lezi.

VUMELANI UJEHOVA ALIKHOKHELE EMTSHADWENI WENU

5, 6. Kuyini okungenziwa ngamadoda labomkawo ukuze bakhokhelwe nguJehova emtshadweni wabo?

5 Into enkulu kulazo zonke engenza ukuthi umtshado uqine yikuba qotho kulowo owawusungulayo kanye lokuzithoba kuye. (Bala umTshumayeli 4:12.) Amadoda labomkabo bangavuma ukukhokhelwa nguJehova emtshadweni wabo ngokulandela izeluleko zakhe. IBhayibhili likhuluma ngabantu bakaNkulunkulu basendulo lithi: “Loba liphambukele kwesokudla kumbe kwesenxele lizalizwa ilizwi ngemuva kwenu lisithi, ‘Le yiyo indlela; hambani ngayo.’ ” (Isaya. 30:20, 21) Lamuhla abatshadileyo ‘bangalizwa’ ilizwi likaJehova ngokubala iLizwi lakhe, iBhayibhili bendawonye. (Hubo. 1:1-3) Okunye abangakwenza ukuze baqinise umtshado wabo yikuba loKukhonza Kwemuli bezikholisela nje, futhi beqinisa ubuhlobo babo loNkulunkulu. Kanti njalo ukuthandaza ndawonye nsuku zonke lakho kuqakatheke kakhulu ukuze benelise ukumelana lezilingo ezisemhlabeni kaSathane.

Abatshadileyo bayasondela eduze kukaNkulunkulu njalo babe ngamathe lolimi nxa behlala besenza izinto eziphathelane lokukhonza bendawonye (Khangela izindima 5 lo-6)

6 UGerhard waseGermany uthi: “Nxa kuyikuthi asisathokozi ngenxa yobunzima obuthile obusehleleyo kumbe ngenxa yokungazwisisani, iseluleko esiseLizwini likaNkulunkulu siyasinceda ukuthi sibekezelelane futhi sithethelelane. Ukubekezela lokuthethelelana kuqakatheke kakhulu ukuze abatshadileyo baphumelele.” Ngakho-ke abatshadileyo bayasondela eduze loNkulunkulu njalo babe ngamathe lolimi nxa bezama ngamandla onke ukuthi bahlale bekhokhelwa nguye emtshadweni wabo ngokwenza izinto eziphathelane lokukhonza bendawonye.

MADODA WOBANI ZINHLOKO EZILOTHANDO

7. Amadoda kumele abaphathe njani omkawo?

7 Nxa indoda ikhokhela kuhle kuba lokuthokoza njalo umtshado uyaqina. IBhayibhili lithi: “Inhloko yamadoda wonke nguKhristu, lenhloko yowesifazana yindoda.” (1 Khor. 11:3) Okutshiwo lapha yikuthi amadoda kumele aphathe omkawo ngendlela uKhristu ayephatha ngayo abafundi bakhe. Wayelothando zikhathi zonke, elomusa, ezwisisa,  emnene njalo ethobekile enhliziyweni. Wayengelasihluku njalo wayengayisuye ntandokayiphikiswa.Mat. 11:28-30.

8. Indoda ingenzani nxa ifuna ukuthi umkayo ayihloniphe futhi ayithande?

8 Amadoda angamaKhristu akumelanga babambe omkawo ngenkani ukuthi kumele bawahloniphe. Kodwa kumele abe ‘lozwelo, abaphathe ngenhlonipho njengababuthakathaka.’ (1 Phet. 3:7) Amadoda atshengisa ukuthi omkawo baligugu ngokukhuluma labo ngenhlonipho kanye lokubaphatha ngozwelo kungelani lokuthi baphakathi kwabantu kumbe babodwa. (Zaga. 31:28) Ukuba zinhloko ezinjalo kwenza ukuthi omkawo bawahloniphe futhi bawathande, kuphinde kwenze lokuthi uNkulunkulu abusise imitshado yawo.

BAFAZI, ZEHLISENI

9. Umfazi angatshengisa njani ukuthi uyazehlisa?

9 Sonke siyazithoba ngaphansi kwesandla sikaJehova esilamandla ngenxa yokuthi siyamthanda kakhulu njalo uthando lolu lusekelwe ezimisweni zakhe. (1 Phet. 5:6) Okunye okuqakathekileyo okwenziwa ngumfazi ozithobayo yikuhlonipha amandla kaJehova ngokubambisana lomkakhe emulini. IBhayibhili lithi: “Bafazi, zehliseni phansi kwamadoda enu, njengokufanele iNkosi.” (Kol. 3:18) Iqiniso elikhona yikuthi umfazi kasoze azithande ezinye izinqumo ezenziwa ngumkakhe. Kodwa nxa kuyikuthi khonokho okukhethwe ngumkakhe akuphikisani lemithetho kaNkulunkulu, umfazi ozehlisayo uyavumelana laye.1 Phet. 3:1.

10. Kungani kuqakathekile ukuzehlisa?

10 Umfazi ulomsebenzi ohloniphekayo emulini ngoba ‘uyingxenye’ yomkakhe. (Mal. 2:14) Wenza umsebenzi oqakathekileyo ngoba nxa kusenziwa izinqumo ezithile laye uyakhuluma akucabangayo aveze lokuthi uzizwa njani. Kodwa lokhu ukwenza ngenhlonipho langokuzithoba. Indoda ehlakaniphileyo iyalalelisisa nxa umkayo eveza umbono wakhe. (Zaga. 31:10-31) Ukuzehlisa okufuqwa luthando kwenza ukuthi emulini kube lentokozo, ukuthula kanye lokumanyana njalo kwenza ukuthi amadoda labomkawo basuthiseke ngoba bayabe bebona ukuthi bathokozisa uNkulunkulu.Efe. 5:22.

 QHUBEKANI LITHETHELELANA

11. Kungani kuqakatheke kakhulu ukuthethelelana?

11 Okunye okuqakatheke kakhulu okwenza ukuthi umtshado ungadiliki yikuthethelelana. ‘Ukubekezelelana lokuthethelelana’ kwenza ukuthi indoda lomkayo babe ngabangane abakhulu. (Kol. 3:13) Kodwa umtshado uba sengozini nxa indoda lomkayo behlala bevuselana izikhwili ngezindaba ezadlula kudala, besebezisebenzisa ukuthi bahlaselane. Izinto ezibazwisa ubuhlungu kanye lezikhwili kungakhula ezinhliziyweni besekusenza ukuthi kube nzima kakhulu ukuthi bathethelelane, njengomkenke owenza ukuthi umduli ucine ungasaqinanga. Kodwa nxa abatshadileyo bethethelelana ngendlela uJehova asithethelela ngayo, kuba lokuzwanana okukhulu.Mik. 7:18, 19.

12. Uthando lusinceda njani ukuthi ‘sigqibele izono ezinengi’?

12 Uthando lweqiniso “kalubambeli zikhwili,” kodwa “uthando lugqibela izono ezinengi.” (1 Khor. 13:4, 5; bala u-1 Phetro 4:8.) Ngamanye amazwi, uthando lusenza singabali ukuthi umuntu sesimthethelele kangaki. Lapho umphostoli uPhetro ebuza ukuthi kumele amthethelele kangaki umuntu omonelayo, uJesu waphendula wathi: “Okwezikhathi ezingamatshumi ayisikhombisa lesikhombisa.” (UMathewu 18:21, 22) UJesu wayetshengisa ukuthi umKhristu kumele ahlale ebathethelela abanye, akungeke kubalwe ukuthi kangaki.Zaga. 10:12. *

13. Kuyini esingakwenza nxa sifuna ukuba ngabantu abathethelelayo?

13 U-Annette uthi, “Nxa indoda lomkayo bengafuni ukuthethelelana, kuba lokubambelana izikhwili lokungathembani njalo lokhu yitshefu ephambanisa umtshado. Nxa lithethelelana, lisuka libe lomtshado oqinileyo njalo liba ngabangane abazwanana kakhulu.” Nxa ufuna ukuba ngothethelelayo, zama ukuthi ube ngumuntu obongayo njalo ubone okuhle komunye wakho. Zama ukuhlala umncoma ngenhliziyo yakho yonke. (Kol. 3:15) Ungaba ngumuntu othethelelayo awusoze uhlale ukhathazeka, wena lomkakho lizaba ngabantu abamanyeneyo njalo loNkulunkulu uzalibusisa.Rom. 14:19.

PHATHA UMKAKHO NGENDLELA OFUNA AKUPHATHE NGAYO

14, 15. Yiwuphi umlayo esawuphiwa nguJesu, njalo uqakatheke ngani kwabatshadileyo?

14 Akulamuntu ongafuniyo ukuhlonitshwa lokunikwa isithunzi. Sonke siyathokoza nxa othile elalela umbono wethu njalo etshengisa ukuthi ulendaba lokuthi sizwa njani. Kodwa uyake uzwe yini othile esithi, “Ngizamenza khonokho kanye angenze khona”? Lanxa kungazwisiseka ukuthi kungani efuna ukwenza njalo, iBhayibhili lithi: “Ungabokuthi, ‘Ngizakwenza kuye njengoba enze kimi.’ ” (Zaga. 24:29) Kanti njalo loJesu wasinika omlayo omuhle kakhulu esingawulandela nxa kube lokungazwanani okuthile. Wathi: “Yenza kwabanye lokho ofuna ukuthi bakwenze kuwe.” (Luk. 6:31) UJesu wayesitsho ukuthi kumele siphathe abanye ngendlela esifuna ukuphathwa ngayo lokuthi singaphindiseli nxa omunye esiphambanisile. Kwabatshadileyo, lokhu kutsho ukuthi lokho wena ofuna umkakho akwenze kuwe, lawe yikho okumele ukwenze kuye.

15 Indoda lomkayo baqinisa ubuhlobo  babo nxa besiba lendaba lokuthi omunye uzwa njani. Enye indoda yaseSouth Africa ithi, “Siyazama sibili ukusebenzisa umlayo kaJesu. Lanxa siyake sizondisane, siyalwisa ukuthi omunye aphathe omunye ngendlela yena afuna ukuphathwa ngayo—ngenhlonipho langesithunzi.”

16. Kuyini okungamelanga kwenziwe ngabatshadileyo?

16 Ungakhulumi izinto ezimbi ezenziwa ngumkakho kumbe uhambe usuhlabela ngokuthi ujayele ukwenza lokhu lalokhu, lanxa ukhuluma angani uyadlala. Abatshadileyo kumele bahlale bekwazi ukuthi umtshado kayisiwo mncintiswano wokubona ukuthi ngubani olamandla, ohwabha kakhulu kumbe ukuthi ngubani oyintshantshu yokukhuluma amazwi ahlabayo. Sonke siyaphambanisa sibili njalo kwezinye izikhathi siyabazondisa abanye. Kodwa loba sekutheni, akulunganga ukuthi indoda kumbe umfazi asebenzise amazwi okubhuqa ephoxa omunye wakhe, emhlekisa ngabantu njalo okubi kakhulu yikuthi bafuqane okokulwa kumbe batshayane.Bala iZaga 17:27; 31:26.

17. Amadoda angawulandela njani umlayo kaJesu wokuphatha omkawo ngendlela afuna ukuphathwa ngayo?

17 Lanxa kwezinye izindawo indoda ehlukuluza umkayo kumbe emtshayayo ikhangelwa njengendoda kuzwa, iBhayibhili lithi: “Ungcono umuntu obekezelayo kuleqhawe, umuntu ozinqandayo ulaka lwakhe kulalowo othumba idolobho.” (Zaga. 16:32) Kudinga ukuzimisela okukhulu ukuthi umuntu alingisele uJesu Khristu futhi azithibe. Asingeke sithi indoda ehlukuluza umkayo ngokumtshaya kumbe ngokumtshela amazwi ahlabayo yindoda kuzwa njalo indoda eyenza lokhu ingacina ingasela buhlobo obuhle loJehova. Umhubi uDavida owayeyindoda elamandla lelesibindi wathi: “Ekuthukutheleni kwenu lingoni; nxa lisemibhedeni yenu hlolani izinhliziyo zenu, lithule.”Hubo. 4:4.

“YEMBATHANI UTHANDO”

18. Kungani kuqakathekile ukuthi abatshadileyo baqhubeke bethandana?

18 Bala u-1 Khorinte 13:4-7. Kuqakatheke kakhulu ukuthi abantu abatshadileyo babe lothando. “Zembeseni ngesihawu, umusa, ukuzithoba, ubumnene kanye lokubekezela. Phezu kwakho konke lokhu ukulunga yembathani uthando, olukubophela ndawonye kube yikumanyana okupheleleyo.” (Kol. 3:12, 14) Yikho-ke njengesamende esenza ukuthi izitina zibambane, uthando olunjengolukaKhristu owazinikelayo ngenxa yabanye lwenza ukuthi abatshadileyo bamanyane. Lanxa kungaze kube lohlupho lwemali, kumbe nxa omunye engazwanani labakwabozala kumbe engasaphilanga kuhle emzimbeni, loba omunye esenza izinto ezicaphula omunye wakhe, umtshado wabo awusoze udilike.

19, 20. (a) Kuyini okunganceda abatshadileyo ukuthi babe lomtshado oqinileyo futhi bathokoze? (b) Sizaxoxa ngani esihlokweni esilandelayo?

19 Ukuthi umtshado uphumelele kudinga ukuzinikela okufuqwa luthando, ukuthembeka, kanye lomzamo omkhulu. Nxa kungaba lohlupho, abatshadileyo akumelanga bacabange ngokuphuma emtshadweni kodwa kumele bazimisele ukuzama ngazo zonke izindlela ukuthi balungisise izinto. Nxa abatshadileyo abangamaKhristu azinikele kuJehova bemthanda njalo bethandana, bazazama ukulungisisa izinto ngoba “uthando kalupheli.”1 Khor. 13:8; Mat. 19:5, 6; Heb. 13:4.

20 Akulula ukuthi izinto zitshelele emtshadweni, ikakhulu ‘ezikhathini ezinzima’ esiphila kuzo. (2 Tim. 3:1) Kodwa uJehova angasincedisa ukuthi siphumelele emitshadweni yethu. Lanxa kunjalo, abatshadileyo kumele bazame ukuthi bangalandeli imikhuba esemhlabeni lo olokuziphatha okubi kakhulu. Esihlokweni esilandelayo kuzaxoxwa ngokuthi amadoda labafazi bangenzani ukuze imitshado yabo ingadiliki.

^ ndima 12 Lanxa abatshadileyo bezama ukuthi bathethelelane njalo baxakulule izinhlupho, iBhayibhili liyakuvuma ukuthi nxa omunye esefebile, lowo ophambaniselweyo angazikhethela ukuthi uzamthethelela kumbe uzahle achithe umtshado. (Mat. 19:9) Khangela isengezo emakhasini 219-221 esihlokweni esithi “Lokho iBhayibhili Elikutshoyo Ngokuchitha Umtshado Kanye Lokwehlukana Okwesikhatshana” ebhukwini elithi Zigcineni Lisethandweni lukaNkulunkulu.